You know what I want to know?
How would things be different?
How would things be different if my dad stayed with us?
I ask this to myself daily, hourly, ever single minute..
It's just something I can't get out of my brain..
I know I killed him, yes. That was a painful time for me and I didn't know..
I've even asked this to myself before I even knew him..
Well, I still didn't really know him anyways..
But I'm just wandering, you know?
What if?
What if my dad was there to watch me grow up?
Would I still be the same? I hope not..
I can't change myself, no matter how hard I try..
What if my dad was there to talk to me about anything I needed to?
Maybe he could've helped me with girls.
Maybe I'd finally be able to be with her...
But I know she hates me...
What if he could change me?
Then, would everyone still hate me?
Would I hate them?
Maybe we'd actually get along then..
What if he was just.. there?
Would my mom be so alone?
Would I be so alone?
What if he loved me?
Would I have someone to hold me in the night?
Someone to comfort me with things...
..my mom just doesn't understand?
What if I had a reason to keep going everyday?
Too bad I'll guess I'll never know..
All I can ask is what if?
This was so hard to write. I relate so well..
I really hope you liked it, even a lil, so review and tell meh?