I walked through the doors of Chez Chez hand in hand with Noah, the guy I was now seeing and had been for 2 months since Brendan had hit me that day.
The memory of what had happened that evening was still fresh in my mind, the pain that he had inflicted on me once again was immense and I wasn't talking about the physical pain either.
We could have had something I was sure of it but in the end he had blown it once again, it was the final straw for me I just couldn't go back to the way we once where, I wouldn't.
I no longer worked here now in this place where every inch of it reminded me of him. I had asked Tony for a job at the spa that he owned before telling Cheryl that I quit.
I remember her trying to talk me around telling me she was low on good staff since the incident with Jacqui. I brushed off her efforts to talk me around walking out the club without a second thought, I did not want to see Brendan's face everyday and I was also avoided his phone calls once again.
Noah had insisted that we come here for a few drinks ignoring my plea's to go elsewhere he dragged me along telling me it would be fun. Yeah right I thought but finally gave in anyway allowing him to direct me towards the club.
So thats how I got where I am now walking into the place I never wanted to ever step into again with Noah here besides me proper laughing in my ear at some joke he had just told.
"Yeah." I said nodding not actually paying attention to what he was saying as I nervously strode into the club looking up to see the all too familiar place that I had once worked in. I instantly felt a lump in my throat and my chest began to ache.
I took a table in a far corner seeing Cheryl and Warren sitting at the bar with Rhys behind it serving customers.
"What would you like?" Noah said smiling at me slightly probably sensing my discomfort.
"Anything." I replied not caring as I glanced around the place nervously, looking out for him...
I wasn't sure I wanted to see him at all. I mean I had seen him about the village but did my best to stay out of his view and way.
Sighing in relief I couldn't see him anywhere, glancing up to see Cheryl and Noah deep in conversation while Rhys began serving him.
Warren sat there looking Noah up and down while the two of them chatted before glancing round at me making me avert my gaze quickly.
The last thing I wanted was him to start taunting me and I was glad that he hadn't done so yet. I was sure that Cheryl would have been talking a lot about me and Noah to him and I dreaded to think what she might have said to him.
I quickly let my worries slip away as Noah came over with the drinks pushing mine towards me before grabbing the chair and moving closer to me.
In a way this was nice, nice to be out and proud and not hiding away behind every corner. But we could just relax in each others company and not have to worry about what others may think. With Brendan he was too self conscious of himself and too ashamed of himself and I couldn't understand why.
I snapped out of my thoughts again as I realised Noah was talking to me and I shook my head quickly trying to clear my head.
"Well?" He said his eyebrows raising slightly in annoyance.
"What?" I asked confused I hadn't listened to a word he had said!
"Amy and the kids are away right? Do you want a night in at yours?" He said forcefully irritated at my ignorance.
I nodded my head telling him sure thing before picking up my drink in front of me and taking a sip.
He shook his head slightly tutting quietly before speaking. "I dunno Ste, sometimes I just don't know where your mind goes." He said smiling at my stupidity.
I almost choked on my drink at this making him slap me on the back a few times and glancing at me in concern.
"You okay?" He asked worriedly and I nodded apologizing before wiping my mouth on the back of my sleeve.
"It's alright. Is everything okay though?" He asked keeping his voice low.
I opened my mouth to speak but I heard the office door bang open and glanced up to see Brendan stroll out glancing down at some papers he was holding.
A strangled noise came out of the back of my throat as he caught sight of me sitting here with Noah and for a moment his face dropped slightly, his mouth hanging open slightly and we both just started at each other before I averted my gaze trying not to break down.
"Ignore him." I heard Noah say distantly and I gave a little nod, I intended to I thought before going back to sip at my drink.
I looked up quickly to see he had stalked off towards the bar talking to Cheryl and I gave out a sigh of relief at this.
Noah slipped in closer to me letting his arm snake around me making me stiffen slightly as Brendan glanced over now and then looking very annoyed indeed. I felt myself starting to sweat slightly as my nervousness continued to grow.
I sat talking to Noah for a bit longer as he ordered more drinks, I could see Brendan's eyes on him as he strode back and forth to the bar throughout the night but I didn't let my eyes linger on him for long in case he glanced when I did.
Getting up I told Noah I was nipping to the loo because I now had to piss real badly, I had wanted to avoid this I hadn't wanted to move from my spot worried about getting cornered I suppose as Brendan was still lingering around seemingly to be watching my every move.
I quickly dashed into the toilet and did my business hurriedly running my hands under the tap trying to do everything as fast as possible.
Letting out a sigh of relief after I was done I went to reach for the door handle only to have it open before I could reach out my hand.
"Well now aren't you two looking nice and cosey tonight?" I heard the all too familiar Irish accent before I saw him and I felt my blood freeze in fright.
I looked up in terror with my mouth hanging open and I felt myself shake slightly as I stood wondering what he would do.
He blocked the doorway with his frame not allowing me to leave as I stood there trying to pluck up the courage to say something but nothing came out and I felt my mouth open and close lost for words.
This was the place he had hit me the place where I had finally stopped talking to him because I couldn't handle the violence anymore, he wouldn't change and I refused to go back to it.
"M..move.." I whispered barely able to form any words and he did move but not in the way that I wanted him to.
Instead of moving to the side to let me out he stalked forwards making me stumbled backwards to try and get out of his reach but he soon had me cornered as my back hit the wall.
I turned my head to the side waiting for it to come, waiting for the blow that would surely come and I heard a strangled plea come from my lips.
He took my head in his hands and I flinched at the contact making him sigh and I felt myself trying to shrug myself out of his touch annoyed.
I would not let him do this to me I would stand up for myself I thought as I tried to shove him backwards and away from me.
"Get off me!" I yelled in his face pushing at his chest with as much force as I could muster. He staggered backwards slightly and I took this as an opportunity to try and leg it but he caught a hold of me in a vice like grip causing me to panic struggling.
"Easy." I heard him say as he continued to hold onto me tightly, he covered my mouth with a hand as I began to cry and shout my vision blearing over with tears as they trailed down my cheeks.
I bit down on his hand HARD making him grunt but otherwise not let go of me as he shoved me back into the corner of the bathroom.
"Settle down, I won't hurt yer." He said, yeah right! Where have I heard that one before I wonder?
"Bull shit Brendan, let me go please!" I was still struggling against his efforts to calm me down but I wasn't having any of it, I wasn't his to just grab a hold of or hit or anything when he wanted I wouldn't allow it not again.
He surprised me when he brought me close and I flinched again expecting a punch instead but it never come. I felt myself stiffen in his arms as he turned his face in the crook of my neck inhaling as he rubbed my back.
"I'm sorry." He mumbled in my ear and I felt myself giving in slightly realising how much I had missed his contact, how much I had missed him.
There was the other side of me however that knew he could easily lash out at me again and for a moment I was torn at what to do. Should I give him another chance or not? Everything had been simple these last couple of months, no closet no complications and now here I was back in his arms and I felt my head fill with confusion once again.
"Please Brendan." I said attempted to get out of his hold once again but still he held on tightly.
"Shhh, I'm sorry Stephan, really I am." He said and it sounded like he was crying, SHIT! I didn't think he was capable to be honest...
Just then the bathroom door opened again and Noah came in shouting my name before stopping in his tracks seeing me and Brendan together.
No, no, no! This couldn't happen but it was too late he had seen us.
"What the fuck?" He yelled angrily making Brendan turn around but keeping a hold of me making sure he blocked Noah's path to me.
"Now, now." Brendan said turning the chewing gum around in his mouth, if he had been crying it certainly didn't show.
"Brendan don't. Noah it's not what it looks like." I tried to reason and step around Brendan reaching out but he wouldn't let me move from behind him.
Noah glanced at me quickly before facing Brendan with a hateful look upon his face.
"Do one." Brendan threatened still blocking my way and I felt myself grow worried at the situation.
"Get off my boyfriend now." Noah replied attempting to move forward and reach behind Brendan for me but he was stopped with a harsh push on his chest sending him backwards slightly almost losing his footing.
"Brendan don't!" I screamed at him starting to struggle in his grasp again, I couldn't let this get out of hand as Brendan would seriously hurt Noah if I let this go on.
Noah gained his balance before moving forward but Brendan grabbed his throat before he could hit out and pushed Noah into the wall almost choking him.
"I said do one NOW!" He screamed the last part getting right into Noah's face as I attempted to pry his grasp from Noah's throat only to be shrugged off by Brendan.
"Brendan, please stop it your choking him!" I started to batter at his back desperate now as Noah struggled to breathe and at this Brendan seemed to regain some composure letting go of his throat and allowing Noah slide to the floor choking and coughing.
I tried to rush to Noah's side but Brendan caught my arm not letting go as I tried to fight him off once again. He pushed me forcefully backwards almost making me stumble before he knelt down beside Noah putting his mouth close to his ear and whispering something threateningly before standing again.
"Stephan come on." He said walking a little away towards the door before turning to face me. I stood rooted to the spot glancing at Noah in concern as he regained his breathe trying to calm down.
I turned around at Brendan's voice looking at him in disbelief and I realised he was testing me to see if I would do what I was told. I guess he hadn't changed much at all then he was still trying to control me the tosser.
Noah glanced up at me his eyes pleading and I turned back to Brendan shaking my head slightly. "No." I forced out determined to stay strong and stubborn but Brendan wasn't having any of it, he strode forwards taking me by the arm and ignoring my plea's once again as he dragged me from the bathroom and out into the open where there where lots of people the idiot...
I could yell right here and now for help and he couldn't do anything about it. It was then that I realised he was walking in the direction of Cheryl before stopping in front of her with me still at his side.
What on earth was he doing? Cheryl would see that I had been crying and then Noah would no doubt come out and make a scene as well.
"Sis, can we talk in the office please?" He said quietly ignoring the funny looks from Warren as he looked us both up and down.
"Whats going on?" she replied worriedly seeing the state I was in and I couldn't bring myself to look up at her pity filled face as she began to ask what had happened to me.
Brendan shrugged her concern off telling her he would tell her in the office and I wondered what he had planned, I started to worry thinking he might lie to her before taking me somewhere and doing god knows what with me and I felt myself shivering.
"Sure love." She said her voice filled with concern taking a hold of my other arm I let them both direct me to the office allowing them to guide me in.
If he even thought about lying to her about anything I would tell her myself I thought, whether she would believe me or not was another matter.
And as for Brendan's reaction I couldn't give a damn, I would do this, I would be brave and not let him hurt me anymore.
I yet again I wondered what would happen as the office door slammed shut behind us.