You Could Be Happy
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! (No matter how much I want to own Jacob Black: P)
Summary: Jacob turns up at Bella's wedding to Edward to spend a last bit of time with her. Set during Breaking Dawn, Oneshot.
Jake's POV
My hands trembled as I gripped her waist, my chin nestled atop her head. I smiled ruefully to myself. 'Funny,' I thought to myself. 'I should be used to saying goodbye to her by now.' I looked down at her, sighing, knowing that I'd have to let go soon. My beautiful Bella, all dolled up in her flowing white dress and veil looked up at me, her cheeks a pinkish tinge and her lips ruby red. I felt my heart twinge knowing that this would probably be the last time I would see any color in her face.
"Jake?" she asked me. I looked down at her as we slowly spun around and around on the soft grass. "What's wrong?" she asked.
'Oh like she didn't know' I thought sarcastically. But I just laughed softly instead, feigning joy. "Nothing's wrong Bells. Why would anything be wrong at this moment?" But she saw it flash through my eyes.
The hurt.
The pain.
She knew what was wrong. I sighed as a quiet tear slid down her pale face. "Don't cry love, you'll smudge your makeup", I said as I attempted to keep her from ruining her mascara. But she pulled my hand away and scoffed.
"Since when am I one for makeup?" she grumbled, and I smiled.
"Right."
I stared at her for a long moment, the crickets chirping in the background. I took my hands off of her waist, as we stopped spinning, like a bicycle wheel, slowing before we finally stopped. There was silence, but we were both panting as if we had just run a mile, our nerves getting a hold of us. My hands snaked up to her face, staying there, as I pressed my lips to her forehead for a brief moment.
"I am going to miss you so much", I whispered, my lips brushing against her hairline.
"I know", she murmured, her hands gripping my wrists. "I wish this didn't have to be goodbye". I heard her voice catch in her throat, and then there was shaking.
Trembling.
Sobbing.
This was ridiculous. Why couldn't we just have been the way we were supposed to be from the beginning? At that moment it was like seeing my life with Bella flash through my eyes. I remembered seeing Bella for the first time when I was seven, with a book in her hands and a scowl on her face. I remembered her coming to forks for the summer when she was thirteen, and we would make little forts and just sit, talking and laughing for hours at a time, only to take them down again when we were done. I remember when she came to my high school dance, tripping in heels just for me. I thought of the times I would work on the rabbit and she would sit in the garage, feet propped up, reading Wuthering Heights for the millionth time.
And then the sobbing stopped. I looked down and saw Bella wiping her eyes on her wrist, carefully taking notice of the mascara and eyeliner. She smiled. It was then I realized that I had said all those things aloud. I opened my mouth to say something, but she put a finger to my lips.
"How is it that you always know what to say?" she asked, giving me a teary smile. I shrugged, wiping her tears away with my fingers.
"I try", I whispered, holding her face in my hands. She stared at me, noticing that my eyes had darkened as I took all of her in.
"Jake", she whispered, raising her trembling fingers to touch my cheek. I leaned into her hand for a moment, before her fingers rose to my hair, tangling themselves in it. I sighed, closing my eyes in content.
And that's when I felt her lips on mine, and the frenzy began. Quickly and roughly, I grabbed fistfuls of her dress in my hands, bowing her body against mine, her fingers clawing at my hair, pulling me closer to her. If anyone happened to cross us here, in the middle of the forest and undergrowth, just meters away from the wedding reception, they would have thought that we were in a strange embrace, almost a dance if some sort, by that way our bodies were reacting to one another. I wasn't delicate with her, and neither was she with me. We had wasted too much time avoiding this, being delicate around one another. She was all around me, catching all my senses, sight, smell, touch, all of the above.
We were close to being on the ground when I picked her up; her legs now wrapped around my torso, and pushed her against a tree, knocking the air right out of her. I my lips left hers for a moment, automatically latching onto her neck, although I was careful not to mark her. I heard her breath hitch in her throat, before she moaned loudly. Quickly, my mouth landed on hers, silencing it. I felt her smile against my lips.
Not too soon after, we were both beat, and I reluctantly placed her down, so she could straighten herself out. I looked at the monstrosity I had caused, although it was a beautiful one. Bella's hair was mussed and sticking out in different directions, and her lipstick had been completely wiped away, except for a tiny stain that remained from it, of the edge of her bottom lip. Her veil was wrinkled, as was her dress, but on the plus side, I had succeeded in not ripping it off right her and making sweet love to her of the forest ground, which was what I wanted. Badly. When Bella looked down and saw all this, she looked straight at me and burst into laughter. I smiled, happy at the way she had reacted, and couldn't help but join her.
"So I take it this means you're not mad?" I asked, knowing full well she wasn't. Bella smiled freely.
"Of course not Jake", she said to me, her voice making me feel sick with wanting. I could still taste her on my lips.
"Good", I said huskily, making my way towards her. I laughed as she playfully dodged me, taking refuge behind the tree we had been embracing against just moments before. I reached out to her. "Come here", I murmured, taking her in my arms. She sighed against my chest, before looking up at me with wishful eyes. I chuckled quietly, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. I pressed my lips against hers lightly, all the eagerness gone from the both of us. I pulled away a moment later, and she sighed wistfully. "I know its hard Bells", I whispered against her hair. She looked up at me again.
"But we'll get through it wont we?" she asked.
"Of course we will, we always do."
She pressed her ear against my heart, hearing its steady beating.
"I made a really stupid decision didn't I?"
"That doesn't matter anymore honey. You're here now, that's what matters", I said fiercely, tightening my hold on her.
"How could you even begin to forgive me for being such a…a monster!" she fumed, angry tears spilling down her cheeks, gripping me closer. She might have meant it as a rhetorical question, but I answered anyways.
"because I love you too damn much to risk losing you…", I murmured, trying to comfort her, but she only sobbed harder, punishing herself for her guilt. "Everyone makes mistakes Bells. It's expected. You're only human."
Her hands searched for my lips as a sign, and I lowered myself to her, kissing her tenderly, letting her reflect her sorrowfulness through me. "I fixed you once, and I'm not afraid to do it again", I whispered against her neck, sensing her pulse. "I'll always stand by you Bella. No matter what."
She nestled her head against my shoulder, her fingers tracing unintelligible shapes against my chest.
"I love you, Jacob freaking Black." I heard her murmur against me. I chuckled softly, twirling her hair with my fingers.
"And I you, Bella effing Swan", I replied, smiling as she laughed. That was just our way with one another, every minute of every day, we were constantly bantering with one another in some way or form. And as I held in my arms, I knew there would have to be compromise. I knew there would be fights and battles. But I didn't care. As long as I could have her in my arms, and I could just hold her, there wasn't anything el se more important to me in the entire world.
End.
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And that's all folks! I would just like to thank everyone for taking the time out of their lives to read this, and for that I am eternally grateful! At first, this story was inspired by the song, you could by happy by Snow Patrol. Then halfway, I stumbled across a great song by Placebo that represented Jacob and Bella in my opinion, called running up that hill, and the story then became inspired by the both of those songs, which are both great to listen to, especially while reading this. REVIEWS AND COMMENTS ARE STRONGLY WELCOMED! No flames please, but constructive criticism is also welcomed. P.S.: at the part where they say I love you to one another, they're not really insulting each other, just joking around and being Jake and Bells, just so no one gets confused. THANK YOU!