If y'all hate me for this, I understand because I hate me for this. I'm so so sorry for this but my muse is a piece of shit and it wouldn't let me get this out of my head. So, please don't blame me. Blame my muse, Janice. She is a bitch when she wants to be. I love you babies and please forgive me. XOXO
He took a shaky breath as he stepped up to the podium. How the hell he was going to get through this, let alone the rest of his life, he doesn't know. He doesn't think he actually will. He doesn't see how it will be possible. The pain he is feeling is telling him there is no way that he is going to survive this at all. But, he is going to try. For her. Because that is what she would want him to do. She wouldn't want him to give up. She would want him to keep trying, keep living, keep having faith that everything would be okay.
Except, it isn't and it wouldn't be ever again. How were things ever supposed to be okay again without her here with him? His life before her was a nightmare. But, life, since he lost her, had been complete hell. And, it had only been a week.
Only 7 days since he got the worst phone call of his life. 7 days since he was told the best damn thing to ever happen to him was gone. 7 days since he got to look into her beautiful blues eyes and tell her just how much he loved her. Because he did. He loved that woman so goddamn much. 7 days since he got to hold his best friend in his arms, where she was safe, where she belongs. 7 days since he got to hear her laugh or sing, the most beautiful sounds he had ever heard but never would hear again. 7 days since he got to kiss the lips of the woman whom he would forever love, that he thought he would spend forever with but now, instead, would spend forever missing. She doesn't belong in this damn coffin in front of him. She doesn't deserve to not be here. She didn't deserve for that fucking drunk driver to hit her head on when she was on her way home from work to him. And, she didn't deserve for that bastard of a drunk that killed her to walk away without a fucking mark on him!
He looked over at the picture that was set up at the end of her coffin. Maggie picked it out. It was a picture of the two of them, him and his girl, the day they got engaged. He had one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, keeping her as close as possible. He was looking down into her eyes and her up at him, both with the biggest smiles on their faces. She held her left hand out showing off the engagement ring he had placed on her hand after she agreed to become his wife.
He now held that ring in his hand, which was returned to him by Rick after the accident. Rick had asked Daryl if he wanted the ring to be placed back on Beth's hands but Daryl couldn't give it back once he had it.
He looked at the crowded church full of people who came to say their final goodbye. Maggie was clinging to Glen as he tried his best to comfort his grieving wife. Rick and Lori, Daryl and Beth's closest friends, both had tears in their eyes, trying their best to hold it together. Sasha, Tara, and Rosita all sat beside each other, holding hands and sobbing at the loss of their best friend. From where he stood, Daryl actually didn't see one dry eye in the room. That isn't a surprise, though.
Beth, the kindest soul anyone could ever meet, was loved by everybody in their small town. She was so kind and compassionate, always willing to help others out whenever they needed it, no matter what the task had been. She would walk around town and greet everybody with a genuine smile and a sweet, "hello." She was great with all the children, whom all loved and adored her. She baked them cookies and played games with them whenever she could babysit. Which was almost all of the time. She enjoyed being around the kids. Her face could light up an entire town it would get so bright when she would talk about having children... when she would talk about them having children.
Just another thing Daryl would miss. He would never get the experience of Beth telling him that he was going to be a daddy. He wouldn't get to spoil her and rub her swollen feet as her pregnancy progressed. He wouldn't get to constantly remind her how even more beautiful she was when she was pregnant, because he already knows that she would be the one to doubt it the bigger she got. He would never get to place his hands on her swollen stomach and talk to their unborn child or feel it kick. He wouldn't get to hold her hand while she gave birth to their child. Those thoughts made his heart sink even more, which he didn't think was even possible.
Looking from the crowd of people back to the picture, he got his strength to say what he needed to say. Instead of speaking to the people about Beth, he kept his eyes on the picture and spoke to her.
"You have always been my angel and now you have your wings."
He was certain of that. Because, if anybody deserved to go to Heaven, it was his girl.
"We've been through so much over the years. Through the good times and the bad, we somehow managed to never break our promise that we made. We never gave up on each other. Our plan to be together forever hasn't changed. It's just going to take a little longer now."
He voice cracked and he quickly looked down, trying his damnedest to hold back the tears.
Holding up her engagement ring, he continued, "And, I'm going to hold onto this for you, baby, until we're together again. So, don't worry, mama. I ain't afraid. I know that you're always with me to give me your strength. Because, Lord knows that I am going to need it. I know you wouldn't want me to give up. You would want me to keep livin' and I'm going to try for you. It's going to be hard without you but you know that I would do anything for you, so I'm going to try"
"I miss you so much, angel. You were the best thing to ever happen to me. I didn't deserve you. You were so good, so pure. You were, are," he quickly corrected, "my best friend. You are the love of my life and my reason to be a better man. You made me a better man. And, I will love you with all of my heart, forever and always, baby. That will never change."
He placed the ring back into his pocket and returned to his seat between Maggie and Rick on the front pew of the church. Rick clasped a hand on his shoulder and pulled him in for a brotherly hug because Daryl finally broke down. He said his final goodbye to his best friend, his soul mate, his everything. Now, he just has to figure out how to keep his promise he made to Beth. To try and keep living even though all he wanted to do was go home and drink himself into an early grave. Because there was nothing he wanted more than to be back with Beth.