If Only
A/N: Well, here's my Zemyx I've been attempting to write ever since I saw a YouTube video entitled 'Zexion slept with Demyx', which made me think of Zexion- obviously, but I'm not gonna give away the plot, other than this:
WARNING: Yaoi for sure. Lemon. Bad lemon. This is only the second one I've written and the first one I've actually gotten around to publishing, so it is bound to be laughable. Please forgive and give me tips on how to improve, cos I won't know unless you tell me. I'm gonna put in a warning when it starts to turn into lemon so you can skip it if you're so inclined. It's not exactly a major revelation or anything.
Disclaimer: I do not own Madame JoJo's, much as I would adore owning a transvestite club (it does exist, in London). I don't own Demyx or Zexion, as of yet, but maybe one day I shall be lucky enough to meet a couple cosplayers of them and kidnap them and keep them with me always, so I will own COPIES of them… No, that's a crazy idea, I'd be put in jail… Fine, I'll enter KH2 myself and steal their DNA to clone them… I OWN NOTHING BUT THE STORY, PEOPLES! And the lemon, but that's another story… Oh, I also do not own the name or album or artist or lyrics or tune or anything else to do with the songs used, which are by Amy Studt. Oh, I cut this one in half cos the first half was Demyx incarnate, I thought, but the second half I think I'll save for a bit later in the story, mkay?
Liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine
Sometimes it seems that I have no place,
And I don't know what to do with myself,
Light up another I can taste the filth inside,
And I need to cleanse my soul.
Nobody knows and nobody cares,
That I die, on the inside,
Nobody sees the lie that is me,
Cos I smile on the outside.
Still nobody knows and nobody cares,
When I walk on the wrong side,
Tell me who, nobody,
Tell me who, nobody,
Tell me who, nobody,
But you.
"Dammit!" Axel yelled frustratedly. Unfortunately, he was right next to Demyx's ear at the time.
"Graah, Axel! Mind the ears, mind the ears! They're my greatest asset as a musician!" Demyx clapped his hands over said assets and glared at his friend, who stared back for a moment before cracking up.
"Bwahahaha, Dem, you should see your face! As for assets…" without warning, he groped Demyx's butt, "I'd say your cute li'l ass is definitely yours!" Demyx slapped away his hand and sighed.
"You're an idiot."
"Says the boy who wrote a love song comparing crumpets to whoever you wrote it for."
"So what? Crumpets are nice!" Demyx protested.
"Sure, but you sound stereotypically British; tea and crumpets and all that jazz."
"Oh, shut up. It's scones, anyway." Demyx cuffed Axel around the head gently, just as Roxas and Zexion entered, Roxas chattering away nine to the dozen about something to make up for Zexion's utter lack of speech. Demyx sighed softly, feeling his heart stop for a moment as his nerves, tightly wound at the best of times, became even tauter. He'd had a crush on Zexion since he was old enough to realise what the word 'crush' meant. Before, he'd always thought of it as something icky and squashed, like a bug on a windscreen.
"Hey guys!" Axel greeted them enthusiastically, leaping up and sweeping Roxas into a passionate kiss, bending him over backwards and making Demyx's insides clench painfully. Oh how he wished he could do that to Zexion… But he had to put on a smile and pretend he was happy. Overly-optimistic, enthusiastic, bubbly, always-happy-go-lucky Demyx. That was all anybody else saw, and that was all he could show anymore.
"Hey, Zex." He murmured, not meeting his friend's eyes. Well, that was impossible as the guy nearly never looked up from his books. Demyx had always been kind of proud that he was the only one who could distract his attention long enough to have a conversation, even if he was the one doing most of the talking. Zexion barely looked up and despite the disappointed tears about to well up, Demyx turned to Axel and Roxas and grinned widely as he lifted his arms into the air. He always did cry a little too easily for his liking. "Roxas!" he greeted loudly. The two before him didn't look up either, busy having a full-on make-out session. "Jeez, get a room, guys." He lowered his arms and kept grinning, now truly amused rather than faking. "Is it just me," he asked the room at large, "Or is this a little too much like porn?" a few people scattered around laughed and Axel broke their kiss to turn and grin at Demyx.
"Well, isn't that what sexy real-life bishies are here for, Dem?" he asked playfully, pulling Roxas upright again.
"Real cute, Axel." Zexion muttered, obviously still engrossed in his book. Demyx flicked his glance towards his crush and noticed it was, yet again, a completely different book to the one he had been reading yesterday. It was now 'Red is the Rose' as opposed to 'Girl With A Pearl Earring'. Hang on, there seemed to be a recurring theme here. For the past two weeks, Zexion had been reading nothing but romance. Demyx blinked in surprise at this revelation. Everyone knew Zexion was the most prosaic and unromantic man alive on the planet; why the sudden burst of love stories? Demyx felt an irrational surge of hope, but attempted to dismiss it as mere fantasizing. He just couldn't get his hopes up only to have them dashed again.
"So why the sudden intake of soppy stories?" he blurted out, wincing at his own words as he sat down opposite his slate-haired friend.
"Hmm?" Zexion looked up, blinked owlishly and returned to his beloved 'Red is the Rose'.
"You've read nothing but romance for the past two weeks. That's a long time with no change." Demyx clarified, mentally kicking himself. Speaking of love stories, mine is of a pathetic crush on you, my all-time best friend, despite Axel and me being closer. He had no doubt that the Demyx he pretended to be would have no trouble rushing that out at high speed before disappearing into the distance as fast as his legs would carry him. But no, he was still a coward and couldn't get the words out.
When I get time to myself,
And have nothing to do,
You can't help feel the bitter sweet,
That searches through and through.
"So… you wanna do something tonight?" Demyx asked hesitantly, keeping a firm hold on his music folder to prevent himself from fiddling with the zip on his coat. Zexion glanced up at him before shrugging.
"Like what?"
"I dunno… go to a club or something?" Demyx shifted his folder, rubbing the back of his neck self-consciously.
"Sure, why not?" Zexion snapped his book shut before carefully inserting it into his book bag. Demyx blinked in surprise. Zexion wanted to go to… a club? But he hated music. And loud noises. And too many people in small spaces… Didn't he? Demyx realised he'd really just assumed these things. One, because Zexion always told him to stop when he was playing his sitar too near (ie, in the same room and barely audible), two: he always complained Demyx was too loud and exuberant when he was happy and three: he was very protective of his personal space. Oh well, maybe he was wrong. "What time?" Demyx shook his head and blinked.
"Oh, um… around eight?" he suggested awkwardly, trying not to think of it as a date, even though he knew Axel and Roxas would be there. Zexion nodded.
"So I'll see you at my house at eight." Demyx nodded eagerly, but nervously. "I'll tell Axel and Roxas." Zexion said before turning and striding towards home. The dirty-blonde sitarist collapsed backwards against the wall, sighing. He'd never be able to get the courage to admit it to him.
I want someone to hear me,
Someone to need me,
Someone to care for,
Someone to share with,
Someone to stay with,
Someone to lay with
"Whoa, Zex, never thought you'd be the type for this kind of place." Axel whistled, gazing around the club at the beautiful 'women' everywhere.
"Well, Madame Jojo's is a fun place." Zexion shrugged. If anyone had thought to ask Demyx, he would have suggested it held the vague reminiscence of a speakeasy. The dancing girls were all beautifully made up and wearing the prettiest outfits. But what really made Demyx stare was the fact that they were all men. Gorgeously feminine men, it was true, but nonetheless, men. It was a transvestite club. Roxas glanced around, taking in everything.
"It's very… well, it's unusual, for one, but it's cute." Zexion chuckled dryly.
"That it is."
"So, shall we stay for a while then find someplace to go dancing the night away?" Axel suggested. The others quickly agreed.
If only I could find somebody,
Someone who will understand,
If only I could find the words,
To give me what I need
If only I could find somebody,
Who'll give me a helping hand,
I can't let life pass me by,
I'm tired of being me
"So what d'you think of this place?" Axel had to practically scream over the thumping music of the Live and Let Die Club. Demyx grinned in reply, feeling his heart sink a little as he saw Zexion just sitting in a corner with a drink, looking mildly bored. Abruptly stopping dancing, he made his way over to his crush.
"Hey." He murmured into the dark-haired boy's ear, heart leaping and stomach clenching at the close contact, even though it was self-instigated. Zexion tensed before relaxing and turning to face Demyx, his lips a mere whisper away from the blonde's own. The sitarist flushed pink, suddenly sliding into the seat opposite Zexion.
"You made me jump." Zexion smiled awkwardly. Well, his smiles were always awkward; he didn't show them enough for them to become natural. Demyx bit his lip and smiled apologetically.
"Sorry about that…"
"Don't worry." Zexion shrugged. Somehow Demyx could hear his voice even over the thumping music. Maybe it was because he'd been listening to it for so long, he'd become tuned-in to it. The dark-haired by stood. "I think I'm gonna go to the toilets; who knows, it might be quieter in there." He flashed one of his rare smiles again, making Demyx a little giddy. Or maybe that was just the large amounts of booze he'd ingested. Sighing again as he watched Zexion disappear through the writhing mass of bodies, he stood to go and buy another drink.
"Hey, Dem!" Axel appeared beside him, holding tightly to a very hyped-up Roxas, who was pressing himself against the redhead and practically trying to undress him right there. "We're probably gonna head home, kay? You and Zex gonna be alright?"
"Oh, don't worry, mother, we're big boys now." Demyx replied dryly. Axel cuffed his head gently.
"Ok, well we'll leave you to it. See ya tomoz." And with that, the redhead left, his blonde counterpart hanging off his shoulders. Demyx sighed again, feeling mournful once more. Even getting tanked wasn't gonna help him now. Goddammit, why did he have to act like some PMSing woman? Scanning the crowd, he caught sight of Zexion dancing, his eyes closed as he swayed and bopped to the rhythms within the heavy music. In a daze, Demyx watched the dark-haired boy for a few minutes, his heart beating even faster. Without thinking, he stood and made his way over to his friend, joining the mass of undulating bodies. When he reached Zexion, the indigo eyed boy's eyes flew open and he felt a small wilt of disappointment. He was sure Zexion would pull away, as he liked to have at least a foot of space between himself and anyone around him. But to Demyx's surprise, Zexion just stepped backwards, into his body and danced with him. Holding his breath, Demyx lightly gripped his friend's hips and was even more surprised when Zexion's hands held his in place, their fingers interlacing on the shorter boy's body. When Zexion turned around to slide his arms around Demyx's neck, the blonde sitarist' breath caught and his eyes widened slightly, his pupils dilating as the smaller boy pressed himself forwards, into Demyx's body. As the next song came on, with a slower beat, Demyx found himself slow dancing with the one boy he'd always thought would never think of him that way. So when Zexion pulled his head down, standing up on tiptoes, to gently press their lips together, Demyx could do nothing but stand there and let it happen, his breathing entirely stilled by now. When Zexion made to pull away, evidently thinking he'd made a mistake, Demyx finally activated and crushed the smaller boy's body to his, desperately kissing him, drinking in his taste. Zexion's tongue softly traced the outline of his lips and Demyx parted them willingly, allowing his friend's tongue to explore every recess of his mouth, making him giddy. As Zexion deepened the kiss, the music switched again, turning the cramped club into a complete mosh pit and forcing the pair off of each other. Demyx felt a hand grab his and they made for the exit.
I've
been lonely for too long
And selfishly I've cried
I need to
pull myself back up
I need to turn the tide
Once outside, Zexion slammed him against the wall of the club and ravished his mouth again, Demyx's arms pulling him closer, tightly against him.
"Wanna come back to my place?" Zexion breathed, pulling back a little to gaze into the blonde sitarist's eyes. Demyx felt his breath hitch as he stared into those beautiful indigo eyes. Not trusting himself to speak, he nodded nervously. Zexion smiled seductively and pulled him down for another kiss. His tongue traversed Demyx's mouth, making his breath come short as the smaller of the two slid a hand down the back of his shirt, nails lightly scraping the taller boy's skin. Demyx could feel his pants mysteriously getting tighter as time went on, and Zexion pulled back to smile sardonically at him, before grabbing his hand again and leading him towards home.
I want someone to hear me,
Someone to need me,
Someone to care for,
Someone to share with,
Someone to stay with,
Someone to lay with
(This is where the lemon is so skip if you wish)
As Zexion fumbled with the lock, Demyx was unable to keep the innuendos present in the action out of his mind, his arms wrapped around Zexion from behind as he sucked on the smaller man's neck, eliciting small moans from both of them. Demyx couldn't get enough of the taste of Zexion; he'd been craving it for more than five years already and now he was allowed to taste, he wasn't going slowly. Zexion arched his back and gasped as Demyx nipped at the base of his neck a little harder than he'd meant to, softly licking at the spot to soothe it. As Zexion finally managed to turn the key and open the door, he turned to press his lips to Demyx's again, pulling him inside and tumbling to the floor with him. Kicking the door closed, they lay there together, touching, kissing, tasting, for a time uncountable, until Zexion took his hand and pulled him up, almost giggling. As the shorter boy pulled Demyx through the house to the bedroom, the blonde sitarist found he no longer had full control over his limbs, stumbling into Zexion and sending them both sprawling onto the bed.
"Eager much?" Zexion jibed gently, stroking the taller of the two's cheek as he smiled softly at the boy on top of him. Demyx felt his heart melt as that smile turned his knees to butter, lowering his head to chastely kiss that smiling mouth. Zexion changed that, though, by slipping his tongue back into the blonde's mouth. Someone, somewhere, hit 'play' again and they were suddenly tugging at each others' shirts in a frenzy of passion, desperate to have nothing between them. When Zexion's pale torso was exposed, Demyx moved down his body to kiss down from his collarbone, letting his tongue trail along certain areas until he reached his navel and slipped his tongue into it for a moment, making Zexion moan softly and tangle his fingers in his hair. As he made his way back up, Zexion suddenly rolled so he was on top, straddling Demyx's hips and smirking seductively. He bent down to press his lips to Demyx's, before lowering his mouth to nip and suck at the musician's long neck. Demyx didn't know whether he planned to leave a mark, but he half-wished he would, to show that it was real. As Zexion bit down at the base of his neck where it joined his shoulder, he gasped and arched his back, yelping softly. Zexion soothed the red mark with his tongue, the warmth and wet making Demyx forget that there ever had been pain as he moaned quietly, clutching at the shorter male. Zexion ground his hips downwards into the taller blonde's, eliciting soft, breathless moans from both of them. Demyx ran his fingers down Zexion's sides, making him shiver, before fumbling with the smaller boy's belt, desperately tugging off his jeans and leaving the slate-haired male in only his boxers. The shorter of the two grinned suddenly and responded in kind, ridding Demyx of his pants and boxers all in one, eyes greedily staring at every part of the blonde's body before he dived down to kiss him again, his tongue hot and sweet in Demyx's mouth, reducing him to mush. When the sitarist felt slender fingers softly curl around his need, he breathlessly whispered his best friend's name, gasping as that long hand slowly began to pump his length. Just as he felt heat pooling in his belly, knowing he was about to come, Zexion removed his hand and kissed him again, their erections grinding together through Zexion's black boxers and making them both gasp. Zexion moved downwards, leaving a trail of burning kisses down Demyx's body, pausing below his navel, his breath enveloping the blonde's full erection, making Demyx whimper softly with need. He felt Zexion smirk against his abdomen before teasingly taking the tip of his member into his mouth and flicking it with his tongue, eliciting a low moan of desperation from him as he bucked his hips upwards to meet that pleasuring mouth. Zexion took him in fully, swirling his tongue first one way then the other, sending shuddering waves of almost painful pleasure through the sitarist's body. As Zexion's skilled mouth brought him to the edge and tipped him over just enough to make him cry out, he felt that delicious mouth pull away. Then those soft lips were on his once again and he could taste his pre-cum on the older boy's breath, bittersweet. When he felt a slick finger at his entrance, he gasped sharply, tensing around the digit. Zexion kissed him, murmuring soft words of comfort and he was able to relax again, knowing that the pain would fade. When a second finger was added, he squeaked with pain before clamping his mouth shut, not wanting to seem squeamish. Zexion's other hand toyed with his right nipple, drawing his focus away from the pain and making him groan softly as those long fingers began to scissor and stretch him. The smaller boy curled his fingers and suddenly Demyx arched off the bed with a cry; the most exquisite pleasure shooting to the very edges of his being. Zexion smirked once more, wiggling his fingers against Demyx's prostate and reducing him to a moaning puddle of lust. Demyx didn't even feel the third finger being inserted, the ecstasy of it all overwhelming him. He could have come right then and there with the continual grinding of their erections together and the ministrations from those slender fingers, but Zexion pulled out, leaving him feeling empty. He almost asked what was wrong before he felt the head of Zexion's own erection at his entrance. Their eyes met and he nodded, breathing raggedly; needing release as much as Zexion obviously did. In one smooth thrust, Zexion entered him, making him cry out at the sudden mix of pain and pleasure as his prostate was hit on the first push. Zexion lowered his head to press his lips to where Demyx's shoulder and neck met, pausing for Demyx to adjust. As the blonde sitarist forced himself to relax and accept the intrusion, he felt the pleasure from before returning, building up until he shifted and wrapped his legs around his lover's waist. Zexion pulled out until only the tip remained within Demyx before slamming back in, hitting the taller boy's prostate dead-on, eliciting a delicious scream from the blonde. They built up a steady rhythm, but it quickly became too slow and every thrust became harder, faster than the one before. Demyx's vision was filled with white stars every time his sweet spot was hit, and soon he was moaning and crying out with every thrust, his word unintelligible.
"Ah… nnh, scream for me, Demyx." Zexion commanded and Demyx cried out wordlessly once more, the pleasure overwhelming his senses as his arousal steadily became more painful. When Zexion reached between them to pump Demyx's neglected member in time to the thrusts, the taller of the two damn near lost his mind, gasping and moaning the other's name breathlessly. The blonde felt the pooling of heat within him and screamed out Zexion's name as he came. When his walls tightened around Zexion, he could hold on no longer and released, pushing deeper into Demyx with a shuddering cry. He collapsed, breathing heavily, on top of Demyx, the blonde sighing deeply with exhaustion. Pulling out, he rolled to the side to kiss Demyx again, their panting unified.
"I love you, Zexy." Demyx whispered, nuzzling his smaller lover's neck. There was no reply; Zexion had already fallen asleep. Sighing contentedly, he settled into his best friend's arms and closed his eyes, letting sleep take him.
If only I could find somebody,
Someone who will understand,
If only I could find the words,
To give me what I need
If only I could find somebody,
Who'll give me a helping hand,
I can't let life pass me by,
I'm tired of being me
So how long will it be,
Til I can let go?
I need to turn the tide.
AN: Oh God, finally!That chapter took me forever! I wrote chapter 2 and was like 'this is ok but it seriously needs a previous chapter to explain the events' so I started this and I got up to about a quarter through the lemon before just giving up on it for a while to write my Seiners. But I finally decided to get it finished cos the other chapters are all but done. So there it is. A little rushed and forced in places but it's finally done. I can relax for a while. *sighs*. Yeah, I know the Madame Jojo's scene was kinda superfluous but I was originally planning on the dancing scene to be there before it finally clicked that of course it couldn't happen there, it needed the heady, thumping rhythms and flow of booze to get the guys to loosen up enough. Sorry if it's OOC, but… yeah. No excuses. Any improvements, suggestions, flames, whatnot… S'all accepted.