Author's note: I posted this story last year and it was taken down during one of the massive story thefts. I got caught up in life and frankly, wasn't feeling too warm and fuzzy towards fanfic after repeated attempts to contact the organization went unanswered. Now that I have a little more time on my hands, I decided to post again. The characters of FSOG belong to E.L. James, but the storyline and original characters are mine.

Yes, it's another cheating story (kind of)...but…it's more about two adults whose marriage fell apart after a major tragedy, who have a child together, acting in a mature manner that's in the best interest of their son. Ana won't be running away and they will remain a constant in each other's lives. There will be no Taylor, Sawyer, Grace or Kate acting as go-betweens and no one will be ostracized by Ray or the Greys.

You'll learn exactly what happened to get them to this point in the first few chapters and then we'll stay in the present day. This story takes place when Teddy is nearly five years old. They divorced when he was two. We'll see Ana's new life take a drastic turn that changes everything. Just to let everyone know, I'm not a Christian hater or an Ana hater, so no crazy accusations. Negative Nellies, feel free to take a pass on the story. If you don't like it, simple solution: don't read. Enjoy!

I thought that I had known misery before, but maybe I was wrong. The horrific early years with the crack whore, which proceeded to haunt me for the first twenty-seven years of my life, my teenage years at the beck and call of a pedophile who used me as her plaything and whipping post, the empty years spent working and releasing my frustrations on a meaningless sub, those five days without Ana when she left me after I beat her with a belt. Yes, looking back those times were all miserable, but nothing compares to what I'm feeling now. What makes this worse than all of those times is that during each of those periods, no matter their duration, I had never experienced true happiness so I had no idea what I was missing. Now, I've known euphoria, only to be brought back down to my own self-inflicted hell. There is nothing worse than this and it seems there is no way out.

It's been three years. Three. Fucking. Miserable. Years. Three years to the day since our divorce became final. How could I have been so fucking stupid? I guess I thought I could get away with it. She was never supposed to find out. Even once she did, I think I was in a state of denial. I thought we would work it out. I thought we would find a way to get through it. That we would always find a way. I was wrong. Dead wrong.

It's not that we didn't try. We did. I have to give Ana credit, she did try. We spent months going to counseling, but it wasn't enough. I was contrite, desperate really, willing to do anything to get my family back. In the end, that's probably what put the final nail in the coffin. Ana kept saying she needed time- time to process, time to forgive, time to figure out if she was willing to try again. True to form, I was impatient and determined to get my own way. I was also arrogant and overbearing. I kept pushing her to let me move back in, even to sleep in a guest room. I tried buying her forgiveness with expensive gifts, which of course, was never Ana's style. I tried seduction. Hell, I even used my own son as a bargaining chip. I tried every trick in the book and only succeeded in pushing her further away. I remember that conversation like it was yesterday. Then again, it's replayed in vivid Technicolor every night when I close my eyes.

"Christian, I can't do this anymore. I can't breathe. I've begged you for space and you won't give it to me."

"Ana, I can't stay away from you. It's killing me not being with you and Teddy. The two of you are the only things that matter to me. You're everything to me. Can't you understand that?" Her reply is a bitter chuckle that chills me to the core.

"Is that so hard to believe, Anastasia? We've been in therapy for months. We've been apart for months. Our son deserves to have both of his parents. I thought you wanted that for him. I thought that was your priority." And then she backhanded me.

"Don't you fucking dare, Christian Grey. Don't you dare try to make this about our son or about what I want for him. You have no fucking right. And yes, as a matter of fact, it is hard to believe that we are the only things that matter to you. That it's killing you not being with us. Where were you when we needed you? Where were you when I was mourning our baby? Where were you when Teddy wanted to know why there wasn't a baby in mommy's tummy anymore? Where were you when I left voicemails begging you to come home to me?"

"Ana…I" Her voice is barely a whisper, yet eerily calm and decisive. She's taking no prisoners.

"No, don't. You don't get to do that now. You don't get to explain anymore. There is no excuse for what you did. You know exactly where you were and who you were with. And it certainly wasn't with the two people who supposedly are your everything. It disgusts me that you would stoop so low as to use our son to get your way. That's low Christian, even for you.

I am done. You've pushed me too far. I begged you to give me time and you just couldn't do that. You had to do this your way. Well, I've had enough. I've had enough Christian. I. Am. Done. I'm moving forward with the divorce. We'll have to figure out a way to co-parent, perhaps be friends one day, but our marriage is over." I can see the tears fill her eyes and I want to go and comfort her but I'm frozen to my spot. I can't move. Maybe if I stay still this will all be a dream, but it's not. She turns and walks toward the door. I can't take my eyes away, I can't move. What she says next shatters my heart.

"I will always love you, Christian. I'm so sorry we can't make this work. We could have had it all." She smiles slightly and pulls the door open. "We did have it all – for a while. Be happy, Christian. I'm so sorry I wasn't enough."

So here I sit, in my ivory tower overlooking Seattle, nursing a glass of bourbon as the world toasts the happy fucking couple. I guess it's what I deserve. Karma. What goes around comes around.