A special delivery
Twelve seconds.
Twelve endlessly long seconds.
And then… finally… a merciless scream filled the air in the delivery room.
The seconds after his son had come into the world with his skin pale, almost blue, from having the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck twice had been stretching and feeling like an eternity as they had waited for him to draw his first breath outside the womb.
But now he was here, laying on the chest of his mother all curled up and agitated, probably unable to grasp the situation.
Damn, he couldn't even grasp it himself despite the fact that he had witnessed his birth fully alert. He had even managed to get through it without collapsing on the impeccably clean linoleum covered floor like he had the first time around.
Unlike then, he had been prepared for what was to happen during the delivery. And he had stood his ground like a real man, holding the hands of his wife, supporting her legs, massaging her lower back in all the right moments, which meant no such angry yelling coming from Hanna's mouth as the last time they had done this together.
And then suddenly, after two intense pushes, he was there.
Owen We-Don't-Have-A-Middle-Name-Yet Rivers - his son.
Ten fingers, ten toes, plus all the other features that, taken together, rendered him a healthy baby boy. He looked like a tiny version of his dad, including the few dark strands of wet hair that were sticking to his scalp. If it wasn't for his big blue eyes, taking in the small world within a one-foot radius around him, Caleb would have thought he was looking at his own newborn self – as known from baby pictures his mother had shown him. Amazing how you could combine the same two sets of chromosomes twice and get two totally different looking children as a result, he thought, comparing Owen to his big sister Haley.
After Haley had been born, he and Hanna had taken their time to spend as much time together as a family as they could. They had traveled the world, free from the pressure of having to make money for a living after inheriting a surprisingly large amount of money from Hanna's late father. Haley had taken her first steps on a beach in South Africa. She had started speaking her first words in Ireland. When she turned two years old and their little family had settled down in New York again with their careers taking off, too, they had agreed to start trying for another baby. But never had they ever thought that it would be another two years until their dream finally came true. Fifteen months previously, they had already been dreaming of their second baby.
But it wasn't meant to be…
Caleb noticed that he was drifting off and tried focusing on the picture before him again… on the breathing, fragile yet vivid being that was looking so much like him.
Finally having found peace in the arms of his mom, Owen had latched on to Hanna's breast, enjoying his first tasty meal right there when the doctors and nurses were still busy taking care of the after-effects of the birth that Hanna had to endure. But he knew exactly that the thought of her placenta as well as the short pain of the injection of a local anesthetic to block out even more pain while they were stitching up her third-degree tear were far from Hanna's mind.
With her eyes glued to the image of their newborn son suckling on her nipple, there was no sign of exhaustion showing on her face. Was that woman even from earth? Caleb couldn't contain his pride of being married to a real Wonder Woman in person. He took his eyes off of Owen, closing them for a short prayer to the gods above, grateful that everything had gone off smoothly and that they were now a picture perfect family of four.
He pressed a soft kiss against Hanna's temple, feeling the thin layer of sweat on her skin. For a short moment, Hanna turned around in response to his touch, smiling at him the way that only a woman completely at ease with the world around could. He couldn't help but feel his heart overflow with love at the sight of her and he remembered a time when he thought he didn't have enough love to last for two. And now there were three people in his life that he couldn't imagine being without even for one day.
His small finger caressed Owen's soft skin that was starting to look less pale and a little more rosy-tinted. Upon reaching that tiny hand, Owen immediately grabbed his finger and held on to it. "Hey, Owen!" Caleb reacted to his son's way of making contact, knowing that it was a natural reflex. "This is your dad. You gave us quite a scare, buddy."
Owen stopped nursing and was now staring in his direction. Caleb moved closer and placed his head down on Hanna's collarbone so that his son was able to see where that new voice was coming from.
When the baby closed his eyes quickly, both Hanna and Caleb laughed. "Oh come on! I don't always look this ragged and shaggy. Give me a break, it's two in the morning," Caleb said in mock defense. He brought his hand to the back of the small boy's head, letting it lie there for warm comfort.
For a while, he just stared at the small wonder he and Hanna had created in a heated moment after last year's Thanksgiving dinner at his mother's house in California. The memory of which brought out an even wider smile on his lips. He was swept by an infinite wave of love for this tiny human being that was now back to being asleep on his mommy's chest. It almost took him by surprise – and ended an internal discussion he'd had with himself over and over again in the past few weeks whenever he'd had a chance to be alone and get contemplative about his future.
How did parents of more than one kid ever have enough love for all of their children? Equally the same amount for every single one of them… and more love on top of that for their spouse?
The answer was… it was simply there, doubled in size, tripled in meaning right there that moment when they opened their, by way of comparison, giant, still gummy eyes and looked at you for the first time. Caleb had felt it just mere minutes before. Owen had been looking at him with those big blue eyes, staring past his father's exhausted post-midnight appearance and right into his soul, reaching out to find his own personal spot in the depths of his heart.
Wow, his son was just so perfect! Caleb felt tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. He wasn't embarrassed at all to shed them. He had never been one to hide his emotions. He had cried the moment Haley had been born a little more than four years previous, and it certainly didn't feel any different now the second time around.
Haley. Caleb gave a laugh at the thought of his little girl who was now hopefully sleeping at her grandmother's house. He figured she'd had a hard time falling asleep the night before because she couldn't wait to get up in the morning to find out whether her baby brother had been born at last.
He still owed her a daddy-daughter tea party after having been forced to cancel their plans the previous afternoon when Hanna had called from her doctor's office after her regular pregnancy check-up, telling him to come and meet her at the hospital because she had received critical news about their unborn son's condition.
He remembered rushing Haley over to his mother-in-law and promising her to make up for the missed tea party as soon as possible.
Another tear silently made its way down his cheek, but he didn't dare to wipe it away for fear of waking Owen who was still holding on to his index finger.
The precocious toddler had had her own ideas of just what exactly it would take for him to make up for that untimely departure. He didn't have to guess for long; she had told him during the car ride over to her grandmother's house. She had been wanting to name her baby brother ever since he and Hanna had told her about his impending arrival.
Raspberry Snuffleupagus – in honor of her favorite fruit and favorite tv show character. And inspired by her best friend in pre-school who had to live with a name such as Peach Blossom.
Well.
Owen did look a little red in the face, Caleb had to admit. Very… fitting name choice coming from a four-year-old. Could have been worse, he thought. She could have chosen Kumquat Grover or Big Bird if she were up to par with their former creative Greenwich Village neighborhood. But now they were living in Rosewood again, and Caleb opted to bribe his daughter with a third Barbie doll and an exclusive daddy-daughter date at the Bronx Zoo instead. Or maybe she would get to choose his middle name. He was convinced that either way, she would still love her little brother to pieces. Or hate him from time to time in case she got jealous of all the attention he would be drawing in the next weeks.
Caleb was ripped from his thoughts when a nurse, whose name tag read Paloma, came and covered the baby's body with a towel before carefully lifting him to take him over to another corner of the delivery room where she started cleaning him with warm water and a soft washcloth.
"You did amazing, baby!" Caleb whispered into Hanna's ear, placing a tender kiss on her lobe, adding, "He's perfect."
With the baby being away and taken care of for the moment, she turned around to him, a smile on her face. "You did great, too! Don't you think he looks just like you, Caleb?" Her voice sounded fragile, and for the first time after Owen had been born, signs of exhaustion and tiredness were playing out on her features.
"Yeah, he does," he said, smiling back at her and wiping his tears away with the sleeves of his shirt.
He wanted to hold and caress his wife and whisper sweet words to her to make her feel better after what she'd been through, but he also wanted to make sure that no one would do any harm to his newborn. So he got up on his tired feet instead and crossed the room, waving with his phone in order to let Hanna know he was going to take pictures for them. He felt her eyes in his back, a curious look of a mother, eager to know if her baby was healthy, not wanting to miss a single second of the first minutes of his life.
The nurse wiped away the last remnants of vernix and proceeded to put him on the scales. Owen stirred from his sleep and started crying at the sudden loss of warmth. The room filled with the noises of his strident protest against being outside of the womb, which apparently, was not just a momentary thing as he seemed to be realizing at that point.
6 lbs 5 oz.
Caleb felt relief when he saw the nurse write down the birth weight. Wow! Owen was almost the same weight as Haley had been despite the fact that he was born three weeks prematurely.
Caleb stepped to the side in order for Hanna to see the digits on the display, too. She looked a tad appeased, knowing that even though he had to be brought into the world a few weeks earlier, he wouldn't have to stay in the NICU due to a low birth weight. They would only have to wait a few more minutes to see if everything else was okay with him, too.
The nurse put Owen back on a changing table and adjusted the heater above him. With quick expert movements, she took his measurements and took notes on her clipboard. In the meantime, the little boy had stopped whining now that he was back in a warm environment. His swollen eyes curiously took in their blurry surroundings, and Caleb seized the opportunity to take some photos before he had to make room by the table in order to allow the pediatrician to examine Owen. And a few minutes later, the pediatrician asserted that their son was a hundred percent healthy.
oOOo
Two kids. He was now the father of two kids. Whoa! The feeling was overwhelming. It was amazing but a little scary, too.
Caleb jerked awake early in the morning after a crazy dream where he had eaten a basket full of kumquats before driving to Hand Puppets General Hospital of Rosewood where he himself handwrote the name of his son on his birth certificate in slow-motion: Aloysius Snuffleupagus Rivers. In hindsight, he was still wondering how the heck he had known the correct spelling of that Sesame Street character's name that his daughter could laugh about for hours on end.
When he was finally aware of the fact that it had only been a dream, his eyes had adjusted to the soft morning light that was streaming in through the window in Hanna's private room of the maternity ward. They were both laying together in the hospital bed with Owen between them, nursing while Hanna had been sleeping on her side, her hand holding him close to her chest. She seemed to have dozed off again at some point in the middle of the night, confident with her nursing abilities that she had perfected during the long and harrowing nights at times in which Haley had gone through growth spurts. She looked completely at ease.
A deep sigh left Caleb's lungs. Nope, his son was in no way resembling a hairy, ear-less elephant. Before anything else, his ears were kind of cute just by their sheer size, which wasn't bigger than the pad of his thumb. His nose? Just the perfect length and the perfect shape. And only a tad of wispy dark hairs on his scalp, so soft he had to touch him and let his hand stroke over them over and over again.
He marveled at the softness of a newborn's hair and skin… He breathed in his smell… oh, that sweet newborn smell… Caleb couldn't get enough of it and he knew Hanna was feeling the exact same way. She would smother him with kisses as soon as she woke from her well-deserved night's sleep.
Caleb lay absolutely still and let his eyes rest on the serene image of his bedfellows. Again, his mind wandered. How come it hadn't been possible for his father and mother to bond with him for eternity when he was born some twenty-eight years ago?
He didn't want to dwell on that thought all over again like he had in the first days after Haley had been born. There were more fun things to look forward to. Like showing his first-born her new baby brother who she had been looking forward to meeting for so long. Finally, she would get to experience his reaction first-hand to her singing him a lullaby every night for as long as he'd still been inside of Hanna's belly.
He let his gaze travel to the clock hanging on the wall across the room. 6:03AM. Even though he couldn't possibly have slept for more than three hours, he quietly slipped from the bed.
Opposite from him, Hanna opened her eyes and greeted him with a smile. "Morning! Are you leaving?"
Caleb leant over their sleeping son and kissed Hanna's full lips. "Sh! You go back to sleep. I've got some errands to run," he whispered and kissed her again. "I'll be back later with Little Miss Haley AKA the big sister."
Hanna bit her lower lip with excitement. "I can't wait for her to meet him."
"Yes, but until then, you should get some sleep." Grabbing his phone and his car keys from a chair nearby, he saw that Hanna was laying with her gaze resting on Owen. "Seriously! Sleep while you can, baby!"
"Okay, okay," Hanna fended. "He's just so beautiful. I can't stop looking at him."
Caleb smiled. "I know." He walked to the door and opened it before turning around once more. "Close your eyes! I'll tell the nurse to leave you two alone for the next hour or two."
On his way out, he stopped by at the hospital's gift shop to purchase a couple of helium-filled balloons and a bunch of roses before storing his acquisitions in the trunk of his car and driving off into the ongoing sunrise.
oOOo
The air was crisp on that morning in early August, but the pastel colors of the sky were signifying that it was going to be another beautiful day.
A busy schedule at work, Hanna on bedrest and Haley going through her third case of strep throat that year had prevented Caleb from obtaining some last minute bare essentials for the baby like an infant car seat or even diapers.
So now that he had gotten everything they needed from a nearby superstore, Caleb stood leaning against the side of his car in an empty parking lot outside of Rosewood, the phone in his hands, longing to have a quick, calming smoke when as a matter of fact he had quit the nasty habit after it had happened.
The light breeze roughed up his hair as time and again he looked up at the gate before him, hesitating to go in, finding yet another person in his list of contacts that he could give word about Owen's birth.
When he felt he was finished, he tossed the phone in the driver's seat and rounded the car to open the trunk. He grabbed a few things and stepped away from the car. Upon reaching the gate, he stopped and took a deep breath, contemplating to cop out and leave. But then he began to move, making his way through the Rosewood cemetery with determination. Eventually, he found his destination… and in a matter of seconds, his heart was in pieces again, making it difficult for him to fill his lungs with air.
It wasn't meant to be… He wasn't meant to live…
Caleb quickly arranged two white roses in a dirty crystal vase before adding water from a watering can. He would have been two years old now.
Had he lived… Colin, their first son whose physical development had simply stopped merely thirteen weeks into the pregnancy. Just like that.
Caleb slowly let his fingers trace the lightly moss-covered engraving that spelled out his name. He hadn't visited the marble headstone of his late son in a long time, never wanting to go there alone and always finding it hard to ask Hanna to join him when she kept telling him that she hadn't found the strength at all yet to come mourn by his grave ever since his untimely passing. After the miscarriage, Hanna – feeling guilty and inconsolable – had fled from their New York apartment, straight into the cozy nest of her mother's house back home in Rosewood. Blaming their hectic lives in the Big Apple for their misfortune, she had convinced Caleb to pack up their belongings and move back to the city where they had started their family.
He held a moment of silence before tying the string of a silver "big brother" balloon around the vase and hurrying back to his car.
oOOo
"Daddy! Daddy!" A wild mane of curly blonde hair came swooshing down the stairs, revealing a delicate face with flushed cheeks as the little girl reached the first floor. She ran barefoot all the way across the room and straight into Caleb's arms who had barely even closed the door behind him.
"Hey, sweetheart! Are you wearing daddy's favorite t-shirt as a nightie again?" Caleb bent down to pick Haley up, placing a sloppy kiss on her cheek that the kid immediately wiped off with her hand.
"Stop it, daddy! You're too wet," the 4-year-old whined, though instantly switching back to a happy mood, asking, "Did you bring my new brother?"
Ashley came walking down the stairs now, too, looking tired and apologetic. "Sorry, she barely slept last night and was up at five thirty asking if the baby's here yet, I couldn't keep it in any longer."
Caleb saw the giddy expression on his daughter's face and found it hard to disappoint her. He tried distracting her with a series of soft kisses on her forehead. "Your little brother is still with mommy. But he's no longer in her tummy. He was born early this morning, baby," he then explained to her while walking over to the living room where he sat down on the couch with Haley ensconcing herself in his lap.
"I'm no baby anymore," Haley said indignantly. "Baby brother's your baby now."
"I'm sorry," Caleb quickly countered, "You're absolutely right. You're daddy's big girl now. Tell me, were you good for Grandma Marin?"
Haley looked down at her hands before putting the index finger to her mouth, trying to think very hard. "I didn't brush no teeth last night," she eventually admitted, prompting Caleb to nod his understanding as he remembered the hustle and bustle of the previous day at home when Hanna had called from the doctor's office and instructed him to pack Haley's backpack and take her to her grandmother's house.
"It's okay," Caleb smiled, a tinge of conspiracy reflecting on his face. "I won't tell mommy if you won't."
"I won't," Haley whispered back, pretending to lock her lips and throw away the key.
"Alright. So do you want to see a picture of your new brother?" His hand reached into his back pocket. He quickly swiped through his camera roll before finding the right photo of his son to show to her. He had taken it a few hours before, after Hanna had taken off the clothes that the hospital had lent them and put Owen in the lime colored onesie that Haley had picked out for him.
"Baby!" Haley pointed her finger at the screen, smiling broadly.
"Yeah, that's your little brother. Isn't he cute?" Caleb let her hold the phone, and the toddler adeptly managed to zoom in on the image on the screen.
"Cute! Can I see him? When can I see him?" she squealed. "Can I see mommy now?"
"Yes, we can come and visit any time. But we should let mommy rest for a little while longer. She's still very tired, you know."
"Stupid delivery man!" she said, rolling her eyes.
"Excuse me?"
"Uncle Ezra said that the delivery man only brings babies at night because he makes more money at night."
"Oh did he?" Caleb snickered. "Tell Uncle Ezra he should stick with reading you Dr. Seuss books next time he babysits, okay?"
"Okay," the toddler agreed, but it wasn't long before her forehead creased again. "Do babies come in boxes?"
"Alright, that is my cue." Before the conversation could get out of hand, he grabbed her to set her down and got up from the couch. "Let's go home and pick up some stuff that mommy needs at the hospital."
"Tell Hanna I'll stop by during my lunch break!" Ashley returned from the kitchen, carrying Haley's overnight baggage. "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. And feel free to bring Haley over if you want another night with just the two of you and… What did you say his name was?" Ashley asked, lowering her voice.
"Uh-uh, no. Nice try," Caleb parried. "We'll tell you when you see him in person."
"It's nothing weird, is it? Haley mentioned you might leave the decision up to her and I know about all the names she has shortlisted." Ashley grinned, handing him Haley's favorite stuffed animal, a pink unicorn.
"You can rest assured. It's not Elmo!" Caleb winked at her and gave her a hug. "I'll see you later."
"Bye, Haley!" Ashley walked them to the door and kissed her granddaughter goodbye.
"Bye, Grandma!" Haley grabbed her stuffed unicorn and started hopping along the driveway, shouting, "Let's go see Snuffy. Or Grover? Or maybe Elmo. I can't decide, Daddy." She stopped, noticing that Caleb wasn't there by her side yet, and turned around. "Daddy, are you coming?"
oOOo
Half an hour later, Caleb had checked almost everything off his list and he and Haley sat in their new Suburban, driving through the streets of Rosewood that were only just beginning to get busier on that Saturday morning. The town was still on the verge of waking.
However, Haley Rivers was wide awake, filling the car with high-pitched screams whenever she saw mothers or fathers pushing strollers along the sidewalks. She was sharing her joy over the fact that soon, it would be her and her parents maneuvering their own baby through town on their way to the Brew to go get the adults their first coffee of the morning, a tall, triple-caf, four-sugar drug – or The Defibrillator as Caleb had long coined the phrase – needed to survive the day after another one of those gruesome nights with a child that was either teething or running a fever or simply finding night time with daddy more interesting than sleep. Sleep was overrated anyway…
Haley kept tapping on the side window with her little finger, pointing at what Caleb found an interesting assortment of people who were up at this time of day on the weekend and who all kept showing that one common denominator: a stroller with a highly-alert child in the front and a steaming beverage in a cup holder at the back.
His morning coffee runs had become a little sparser lately with a toddler finally managing to get through the night with uninterrupted sleep. But he was well aware of the fact that very soon, he would line up every day again with the rest of the zombie parents at 6:30 AM in order to get his fix that would help him handle his everyday tasks without falling asleep over a game of Jenga, like he once did, which had caused a temper tantrum from a three-year-old who saw her careful construction collapse under the weight of her father's head.
"Look, daddy! That woman has two babies!" Haley yelled from her car seat in the back. "We only got one baby brother. Why does she get to have two?"
Caleb scoffed as he caught a glimpse of the woman who was slowly pushing a twin-stroller past the corner of Main and Hobart, feeling twice the empathy for her. "We only ordered one baby because we already have you," he explained while smiling into the rear mirror where his daughter could make eye contact with him.
"Can I order a sister? I need a sister because I don't have a sister yet," the toddler kept looking firmly at him.
"Listen, sweetie! Let's talk about ordering a sister for you once the baby is a little bigger, alright?" Caleb averted her gaze, hoping Haley would settle with his answer even though he and Hanna had never even discussed having more than two children before. It had been a struggle for them with all of their three pregnancies, taking them longer than expected. And now with Owen finally being born after a difficult pregnancy, the couple didn't know whether to push the envelope and try for a fourth time.
"Why do you think you need a sister, Haley?" he asked with curiosity, keeping the conversation going while taking on the unnerving task of finding a parking space somewhere close to the Brew.
"Because I want to braid her hair. Boys never have long hair. They no good for making ponytails," she told him earnestly.
Caleb chuckled at her answer while scrambling to fit his Suburban into the narrow gap between two shiny sports cars right around the corner of the coffee shop. Then he turned around to look at her. "Well, that's not entirely true. Did you know that I had long hair when I met your mom?"
The little girl gasped at this new insight. "Really? Longer than Mommy's hair?"
"Oh no, no, no," he started, reminiscing about old times. "On second thought, actually it was longer than your mommy's hair is right now. So, yes! But back then, it wasn't because your mommy had really, really long hair. That would have looked plain awkward if mine had been even longer," he snickered at the image that was quickly building in his head, and soon enough, he heard Haley's innocent laugh chime in, knowing that her mind was about to paint its own picture of her mother and father back in the day.
"But I did have a ponytail once," he quickly assured her before he turned off the engine and got out of the driver's seat. From the corner of his eye he saw Haley's mouth agape.
"Daddy was a girl?" she looked at him, flabbergasted, as he approached her side of the car.
"No, he was not a girl. He just didn't have any money to go to the hairdresser to have his hair cut properly. So he just… let it grow." Caleb opened the door and unbuckled her from the car seat.
"Okay, Miss Haley… Let's go get some breakfast. What do you want?" Caleb locked the car and took her by the hand.
"I want ice cream," the girl determined.
"How about a cream cheese bagel and juice? My treat!" he intervened.
"Okay. But I want to ride on your shoulder!" she settled for the deal.
"Alright, hop on!" He placed her on his shoulders where she immediately started playing with his hair. He let her do as she liked. There was no way she could possibly mess anything up in that department after he hadn't even had a chance to take a shower that morning. Plus, messy beach hair was Hanna's favorite style on him anyways.
The father-daughter duo strolled to the coffee shop and entered it with well-practiced routine. "Duck," Caleb said upon stepping over the threshold, prompting his little passenger to press her head down on his so that they could both fit through the doorway. "Look, it's Abby's shift this morning. Say hi to her!"
"Hi, Abby!" Haley did as instructed, gaining a wide smile from the barista-in-charge.
"Hi, Caleb! Hi, Haley! How are you today?" The high school student looked up at her young customer expectantly. She knew the coffee shop's regulars by heart and was always trying to sneak in a small conversation no matter how long people were queueing up in front of the counter.
"Guess what! I got a brother today," Haley told her with pride.
"No way! Congratulations!" Abby hollered and grinned at her. Then she reached for a chocolate chip cookie inside a large glass jar and handed it to Haley. "Here you go. One cookie for the big sister. What's his name?"
"Snuffleupagus," Haley mumbled upon taking her first bite of her precious treat.
Abby looked taken aback, thinking she must have just witnessed Haley's overwhelmed sigh from being allowed a chocolate chip cookie for breakfast. So she started searching for Caleb's gaze to get confirmation.
But Caleb didn't dream of helping her out by clearing up the mystery of the unusual moniker. He preferred introducing Haley to her sibling first and have him and Hanna tell her his real name together. Instead, he simply winked at the barista and proceeded to fumble around with the pockets of his jacket in order to retrieve his wallet.
Abby's smile turned vague as she got the notion that there would be no further clarification from him. Seeing the line behind them grow longer, she returned to her business and asked for their order. ''The usual?"
"For me, yes! It was a long night," Caleb explained, dragging out the word 'long' for emphasis.
"Alright, a tall, triple-caf, four-sugar, no milk, no cream coffee," she mumbled to herself as she typed the order in her computer.
"You know what, make that five sugars. I'm feeling lucky today," he smiled at her before adding, "And an apple juice, three cream cheese bagels and herbal tea for my wife, please!"
"Thank you. Enjoy your breakfast!" Abby took the twenty-dollar bill that Caleb was handing her and gave him his change before retreating to the coffee maker to fulfill his order.
"Daddy, where's mommy's cookie? We should bring mommy a cookie, too." Haley suggested while languidly playing with Caleb's ears.
"You know, I think that's an excellent idea, sweetie! She needs a really big treat for delivering a baby today." Caleb turned back around to re-approach Abby. She seemed to have heard their conversation as she was already grabbing a cookie from the jar and put it in a paper bag. When he pulled out his wallet, she signaled her refusal. "Oh no, keep it. It's on the house today. Congratulations on… Snuffle… um… Hufflepuff again!" she said and put on a big smile. "I love Harry Potter!"
Caleb hesitated before he took the cookie, trying hard to suppress his laughter. Then he thanked her and got in line at the checkout counter. "Bye, Abby!" Haley waved down at her from her spot on his shoulders, but Abby was already deep in conversation with the next customer.
Back at the car, Caleb strapped the toddler into her seat where she immediately started munching on her cookie. Then, he got in the driver's seat and pulled out of the parking space.
Together, they continued driving to the hospital. "You know, your new brother is already twenty inches and a half in length."
"Is he bigger than me?" Haley asked with chocolate smeared all over her face.
Laughing, Caleb clarified, "No, no, no! He's not taller than you."
"Then how big is he? Like this?" She held up her thumb and index finger as wide as she could.
"Well, he's a little bigger than that. More like your baby doll, Lulu."
Haley seemed unfazed, unable to respond at the moment with a mouth full of dough. When speaking was no longer a problem, she dug deeper. "But can he talk? Lulu can say 'Momma'. And 'No'."
"Then she's fully covered, huh?" Caleb kept watching her in the rearview mirror, amused. "Your brother cannot speak yet, and it'll be another while until he can. Until then maybe you and Lulu can help me figure out what he needs when he's crying?"
"Sure, daddy. But Lulu says she's not going to change his nappies."
"Oh that's alright. That ain't my favorite part about babies either. And we may have to come up with a good plan to bribe mommy into doing that for us, you know." Caleb winked at her in the rearview mirror, making her giggle in response.
The Suburban turned right onto the hospital's access road. "We're almost there. Do you see that gray building way in the back?" Caleb asked her while pointing his finger at a four-story glass edifice seen through the windshield that was quickly drawing closer as they followed the winding street. "That's where mommy delivered your brother."
For a while, she was silent, focusing on finishing her cookie and licking chocolate from her fingers. "Why did mommy deliver the baby?" she asked when they pulled into the hospital's parking lot a few moments later. "Uncle Ezra said you order babies at the mall and then the delivery man brings them to the hospital so they can see a doctor and then the mommies get to pick them up at the hospital."
Caleb almost choked on a sip of hot coffee when the car had come to a standstill. "He told you what?"
"Daddy, didn't you listen?" she scolded him.
"No, I did hear what you said. I'm just amazed by Uncle Ezra's abilities to recite from what he's read in his biology books, that's all," he joked.
Haley bent forward to pick up her cup and noisily guzzled her juice through a plastic straw. "He's pretty smart, isn't he?" she asked in between slurps.
"Oh, yeah," Caleb secretly rolled his eyes and grabbed his coffee. He gulped greedily and let the caffeine fill his veins, waiting for its effects to kick in.
oOOo
A pink 'Big Sister' balloon and a baby-blue 'It's a Boy!' balloon floated through the hospital hallways, their strings clutched in a little girl's hand who held on to them so tightly for fear of losing her prized possession. In her other hand, she carried a stuffed pink unicorn. Her gaze followed the trail of the balloons above her while trying to keep up with her companion's fast steps.
Caleb carried the paper bag with their breakfast and Hanna's hospital bag along the corridors, feeling his heart beat a little faster. He didn't know if it was for the coffee and sugar overdose or in anticipation of having his entire family united in a moment's time. He'd shut off his phone before he'd gotten out of the car, ignoring the constant blinking of new notifications coming in. The next hour was reserved for his loved ones in person.
"Where's mommy's room?" Haley asked when she noticed the room numbers on the doors.
"It's 303, right after the snack machine over there."
"And where's the baby's room?"
"He's right there with mommy."
"Can I stay here with them tonight? Please?" she plead.
"I don't think so, Haley. I'm sorry." Caleb stopped by the vending machine and put down the bag before kneeling down to be eye to eye with her. "But how about another pajama party at Grandma's?" he suggested.
"Okay," she agreed. "Can we go in now?"
"One more thing," he said holding her back. "When we go in, you will see that there's a sink in the room. And I want you to wash your hands first before you touch the baby. Can you do that?"
When Haley nodded he let go of her. "Okay, open the door."
oOOo
"Hey, baby!" Hanna's face lit up when she saw the door open quietly, revealing Haley's head that was peeking inside the room.
"Mommy!" she hollered back and came running to the bed. "Here," she gave Hanna the balloons and joined Caleb at the sink to wash her hands, too. He helped her reach the soap and the sanitizer and then went to kiss Hanna, wishing her a good morning.
"I missed you, Snugglebug! How was your sleepover at Grandma's?"
"Grandma let me go to bed without brushing my teeth," she proudly told her mom.
"Oh, did she?" Hanna laughed and extended her arm for her to come closer.
"Are you all better?" Haley asked, trying to climb up the bed.
"Well, I'm still feeling a little sore but it'll be better soon."
"Was the box very heavy?"
"What? What box?" Hanna looked at her, puzzled.
Caleb saw that the height was too much of an obstacle for Haley to overcome, so he gave her a gentle push. Leaning over to Hanna, he whispered, "I'll explain later."
The girl quickly crawled to the other side of the bed so she could lean over the rail of the baby bed. "Hi baby! Wake up! It's me, your big sister!" she called out in a not-so-subtle voice. "Hello-ho?" she tried again to wake him, but to no avail.
Caleb rounded the bed and watched his children bond with each other. "Haley, this is your brother. His name is…-" He paused for a heightened dramatic effect, waiting for Hanna to finish his sentence.
"… Owen," she obliged.
"Oh," was all Haley could mutter, excitement and disappointment both showing on her face.
Upon seeing her reaction, Caleb immediately added, "But you get to choose his middle name. How would you like that?"
Instead of replying, she turned around to the baby again and poked his head with her index finger. "Hi, Owen. Wake up! Owen? Owen?" Frowning, Haley started looking at Hanna. "Mommy, I don't think that's his name. He's not waking up."
"He's pretty tired, huh? He was born in the middle of the night while you were fast asleep, you know" Hanna explained. "Try tickling his feet a little. Maybe that'll wake him up." She undid the fasteners of the swaddling blanket that Owen was bundled up in and revealed his naked legs and feet.
Haley brought her hands to the baby's right foot which was barely even as long as the width of her hand. "He's so little," she said with astonishment. "He looks like my doll."
Caleb carefully lifted Owen from his crib and placed him on the crisp white sheet of Hanna's hospital bed. Haley immediately tore her socks off and put her feet up against his, comparing the difference in size with a smile. Then she started tickling his soles. He reacted immediately, stirring and drawing up his knees. His lips quivered and soon enough, his cooing and wailing filled the room.
"Are you cold, baby?" the proud big sister leaned over him, trying to read the answer in his face. "Or… Are you hungry? You can have my bagel. Or do you want a cookie?"
Owen fell silent and opened his eyes a little, prompting Haley to think she got the answer right. "Mommy, he's hungry. Can I give him a cookie?"
"Oh no, no cookie. Owen gets milk from Mommy. But I think it's very nice of you that you wanted to share your cookies with him." Hanna pulled her closer and gave her a kiss on the cheek. Then she carefully propped up the baby on a nursing pillow and started feeding him.
Haley cuddled up close to Hanna so she could see better. She watched the tiny human being nurse, fascinated by the whole situation. "Why he look so swashed?" she whispered without taking her eyes off of him.
"Washed?" Hanna frowned at her.
"No, Mommy. He looks wrinkled," the girl stated.
"That's because he's brand-new," Caleb told her. "All babies look squashed when they are born. You did, too."
"Me, too?" She gaped at him.
"Yes. But you had more hair when you were born."
There was a knock on the door and Nurse Paloma came in. "I see, you two have adjusted fairly well and he's nursing like a champ," she said after a short glance at Hanna and the baby.
"Paloma, when can we go home?" Hanna asked her impatiently. "We can take him home today, can't we?"
"Oh, you want to go home already? Is our meal plan not appealing enough to you?" the nurse joked, her thick Italian accent coming through once again.
"l hate hospitals," her patient stated. "And I've been through all of this before, it's not like I need baby tutoring."
"I'll ask the pediatrician to have a look at your baby to check for any signs of neonatal jaundice because born prematurely, he's at higher risk to catch that. And if she says he's alright, you can sign some papers and then you're free to go. Alright, Hanna?"
"Okay. Thank you!" Hanna focused on Owen again who had fallen asleep again during breastfeeding.
Paloma, who was still standing by the bed side, saw it, too. "Has he latched on both sides?"
"No," Hanna said, weary.
"You should wake him up and have him drink on the other side, too. It helps with your milk letdown," she advised her.
Hanna followed her instructions, and continued nursing Owen while Paloma checked his temperature with an infrared thermometer. "This looks good," she commented shortly after. "l think there's nothing standing in your way and you'll all be home in time for dinner. Has your husband prepared something for you? He needs to take good care of you now," she said with a smile.
"He already does," Hanna told her and put her hand on Caleb's arm, who quickly countered, "You only kept telling me every day during the past nine months that I owed you for carrying our kids and giving birth."
The little banter didn't go unnoticed by Paloma. "Donna danno, sposa spesa, moglie maglio," she teased and winked at Hanna conspiratorially.
"What does it mean?" Caleb asked, catching feminist vibes between the two women who were exchanging glances. "Alright, I get it. It's something mean about men being sissies, isn't it?"
"I'll leave the four of you alone." She smirked and turned to leave. "Doctor Friedman is on an early lunch break. I'll beep him so that you can discuss your wish to cut your stay short with him."
"Thank you, Paloma!" Hanna said and watched her disappear through the door.
Haley who was still laying next to her brother, watching him in awe, raised her head. "Is he not done yet eating? I'm bored."
"Well, Grandma Ashley will be here in about an hour. How about we go outside for a while and go look for a playground so your mom and Owen can take a nap?" Caleb suggested.
"Okay." Haley gave Owen a kiss before she jumped off the bed and ran to the door.
Caleb, still looking dumbstruck, leaned towards Hanna and murmured, "Is it something naughty? Don't tell me you paid that much attention in Spanish class back when we were in high school?"
"Well, first off, Paloma is from Italy, not Spain. And secondly, it helps to be on bedrest at home and have an Italian maid who's in the middle of a nasty divorce," Hanna explained, unable to resist a grin.
"I think I'm going to have a talk with Giulia soon. Her serving you misandrous Italian proverbs for lunch was not what I'd had in mind when I hired her."
The couple locked eyes and smiled at each other. They shared a tender kiss and soon after, Caleb followed his daughter out to the hallway.
oOOo
Hanna stood, bending over and pressing her hand to her still swollen belly. The birth had taken a toll on her sense of balance, forcing her to correct her posture while still in pain and feeling sore in her lower body.
It was late in the afternoon, and Owen had had a couple of visitors in the meantime, including Doctor Friedman, who had eventually greenlit the mother's wish to go home after attesting the baby was in excellent condition during the final examination. All necessary forms for their discharge had been signed, and Hanna had even managed to take a hot shower when her own mother had come by for a visit during her lunch hour.
"Shoot! Those after-pains are really killing me this time," Hanna said and screwed up her face.
Caleb looked at her, alarmed. "Do you want me to ask Paloma for some pain meds for you?"
"No, I don't want to take any pills when I'm nursing," Hanna turned him down. "But you can help me get dressed so that we can get out of here."
"My pleasure," holding the baby on one arm, he walked to her and helped her untie the strings of her hospital gown. "Are you sure you want to leave already? Your mom volunteered to take Haley again for the night. We could stay in one more day and get pampered."
"Pampered? With hospital food and a 7AM wake-up call? No, thank you!" Hanna stepped into her maternity pants and pulled them up very slowly. "Ugh, why do these pads have to be as big as the keyboard of your computer? It's the twenty-first century! Why haven't they invented something smaller already? This is sooo uncomfortable."
He smirked at the comparison. "And have I mentioned before that those fishnet panties are really... they look so... so very... Nope, I can't say it! They're hideous. Sorry!" He laughed and turned around to take care of getting Owen ready, watching her reaction from the corner of his eye.
Hanna threw her gown at him, but missed her aim when the garment came sailing to the floor more than two feet away from him.
Caleb who had protectively shielded Owen from her attack with his arm, warned her, "Hey! Watch the baby!" He laughed again before he started focusing on fitting a pair of tiny white socks on his son's wriggly feet while Hanna put on a nursing bra and a comfy shirt.
She walked to Caleb and looked on as he cuddled with Owen. A familiar noise sounded, prompting them both to raise their eyebrows. "Your turn!" they said simultaneously.
"l have a gown to pick up and shoes to put on while I'm down there on the floor. So, I will be very busy for the next... uh... two, three minutes. I can't, sorry!" Hanna quickly stepped away from the changing table, ignoring Caleb's groaning. "That's what you get for mocking me. Enjoy!" She tried bending over, but stopped when shooting pain came crawling up her stomach. When she didn't manage to kneel down as well, she used her right foot to lift the fabric until she could grab it with her hand. Disgruntled, she tossed her sneakers to the side. "Okay, barefoot it is. Shoes are overrated anyway in this heat wave. Wait, did I say that out loud? Caleb? Am I on some kind of sedative that I don't know about?"
"Why won't you wait until I can help you? You just had a baby, honey! Take it easy!" Caleb chided her for her impatience.
She sat down on the bed and began waking up Haley from her nap. In the meantime, Caleb swiftly changed Owen's diaper and wrapped him in a thin, soft blanket before strapping him into his car seat. "Holy shit, I forgot how tiny they first look in those things," he commented, adjusting the extra padding for newborns.
"Hey, watch your language," Hanna hissed from across the room.
"Dad, you're not supposed to say 'shit'," Haley quickly came shooting up, having just opened her eyes. "Where's Owen?"
"Caleb turned the car seat around for her to see the baby in it. "We're getting ready to go home. Sound good?"
"Yes!" She jumped off the bed and at a moment's notice she was kneeling in front of Owen, touching his head and cheeks, whispering, "Hi, Owen."
"Haley? I want you to put on your socks and shoes. And then I want you to grab the balloons. Can you take those for me and bring them to our car?"
"Okay." She leaned forward and gave Owen a kiss on the nose. "Can I wait outside in the hall and look at the other babies?"
"Yeah, you can. Just don't play with the elevator again, alright?" Caleb cat-called at her when she was out the door without really waiting for her parents' approval.
He looked down at Owen's small frame. "You know, she's right. He really does look squashed."
"Oh, he must have gotten that from you. You look exactly like that early in the morning," Hanna teased him and stood to meet him.
"Whoa, thank you!" Caleb rolled his eyes and kissed her. When he pulled away, all teasing was gone from his eyes. "Have I told you yet today how much I love you and how proud of you I am?"
"Yeah," Hanna whispered. "But you can tell me again if you want. I never get tired of hearing it."
He chuckled softly. "Well, I never get tired of telling you, but I think I'd rather show you."
"Slow down, I literally just had a baby. You're going to have to wait for at least another six weeks."
"Not that and get your mind out of the gutter!" he said in mock outrage before he leaned in for another kiss. Just as Caleb's fingers were threading through her hair, pulling her closer to deepen the kiss while at the same time giving Hanna a gentle backrub, there was a whimper from the car seat beside their feet.
They both let out identical groans and pulled away reluctantly. They glanced at Owen and were relieved to see him resettle himself and fall back to sleep. Caleb pulled Hanna into his arms, and they watched him sleep for a moment, the irritation they had felt at the interruption forgotten.
Hanna sighed faintly. "Can you believe that a year ago, we had no idea that we'd ever be blessed with a healthy baby boy?"
"It doesn't seem real, does it?"
"Not at all."
"It's been quite a year for us, hasn't it?" Caleb asked, capturing her left hand and tracing her ring with the tip of his thumb, reminiscing about a time when utter heartbreak and silly happiness were taking turns for them and only the strength of their marriage had helped them get over any kind of obstacle.
"I love him so much," she murmured.
"I know. Me too. When I think about how close we came to losing him, too…" Caleb choked up.
Hanna shivered despite the fact that it had to be the hottest day of the year. "I know…" She began to cry softly. Then she turned and hugged him tightly, clutching a tiny baby hat in her hands
"Shh," Caleb whispered. "He's here now, and Doctor Friedman said he's totally fine. He's ours to take home and love forever."
"Forever."
oOOo
They had been driving for ten minutes and were now passing through the forests outside of Rosewood. It was another hot late summer day in Pennsylvania, and Caleb longed to open up a window or turn on the air conditioning to cool down the interior of the car just a little bit. But Hanna had told him off, afraid of the prospect of Owen catching pneumonia or even just the slightest cold in the fresh breeze of air. Haley had been born in November when there hadn't been the slightest doubt about the amount of layers of clothes she was supposed to be wearing that time of year. But with Owen... a whole new range of clothing problems had arisen. Was the onesie really enough to keep him warm? Was the onesie too much when Caleb himself felt like stripping down completely to get through that day's summer heat, especially with the sun heating up the car all day while it was standing in the hospital parking lot?
He took a casual look at the rear mirror where his gaze caught Hanna unawares. She was completely enthralled with Owen who was next to her in his car seat facing backwards. Suddenly, she looked up and their eyes met in the rear mirror. They exchanged a short smile before Caleb had to keep his eyes on the road again.
"Caleb? Could you take a left turn ahead?" Hanna's voice called out to him.
Caleb saw the road sign and instantly knew what she was up to, but didn't dare asking why today of all days. With years of experiencing Hanna's look of determination, he felt he was in no position to question her intentions. And so he made that turn left and once again parked their car in front of the cemetery.
The sudden halt woke up Haley, who had been taking one of her late-in-the-afternoon naps during the ride — a real-life tragedy that only people with little children could truly relate to, as Caleb regretfully realized. "Where are we?" She seemed lost for a moment, thinking she'd wake up to find her stuffed animals right there with her in her bed.
"Haley, you stay right here with daddy. Alright? I'll be right back," Hanna said as she opened the door and got out.
"Is this where Grandpa Tom is?" the little girl asked after she'd recognized her surroundings with the prominent iron gate before them. "l want to come, too! Mommy, can I come with you?" she plead for Hanna to take her along.
Hanna wordlessly rounded the car. Seeing that the window had been rolled down on the passenger's side, she leaned inside, getting ready to explain to her daughter why she didn't think that was a good idea. "I'm sorry, sweetie!" she started.
"But I visited grandpa before," Haley quickly gave back, pouting. "I'm not scared!"
"I know you're not. It's just that... it's just... I'm not...," Hanna carefully weighed in. "Well, I'm not here to visit Grandpa Tom today."
"You're not?" Haley frowned at her. "Then who?"
Hanna searched for Caleb's eyes, needing for him to get her out of that sticky situation. Haley didn't know about Colin. She had been too little to realize that her mom had been pregnant before and that that pregnancy hadn't ended well. And even after, they had never told her anything about the fact that there had been a little brother in her life before... whose grave Hanna had yet to visit for the first time.
Caleb looked at his wife, shrugging and signaling that whatever she was going to say now would be fine with him.
"I'm here to say hi to someone else... Someone who's very important to me. Someone who's... probably just as important to you, too," Hanna told her, putting a few stray curls behind Haley's ear.
"Is it Rusty?" Haley asked with a sad undertone.
Her question took Hanna by surprise. She hadn't thought about that old stray cat for a long time who had been the family's first attempt at taking care of a pet. Unfortunately, the cat hadn't returned home from one of her outings some rainy day the year before. They had been relieved that Haley hadn't asked any questions concerning his whereabouts back then.
A long sigh slipped from her lips, and then Hanna stepped away from the passenger door, opened it and helped Haley get out of her seat.
Caleb got out, too, and leaned against the open door. "Do you know where to fi-"
"Don't worry, I'll find it," Hanna quickly cut off his worried question. She took her daughter by the hand and started walking away. "Call me if Owen wakes up and starts to cry. Okay?" she said turning back around, waving at him with her phone.
"Sure thing," he said as he lifted his sunglasses to rub the bridge of his nose, wiping away the sweat that had gathered there. Then, he took his phone out to check if he had missed anything in the past couple of hours. But the bright daylight kept him from being able to see the screen properly, so he quickly shoved it away and set his tired body in motion instead. He walked to the other side of the car and sat down behind the wheel to take a well-deserved power nap. But it wasn't very long before Owen caught his attention when he started to wail.
oOOo
"Look, Mommy! A balloon just like mine," Haley pointed at a colorful balloon that was wafting in the light breeze between the rows of tombstones nearby.
Hanna hesitated for a moment but then walked on, leading them directly towards it. Even though she had never been at his grave before, she instantly knew who the 'big brother' balloon belonged to and that it was exactly where she was supposed to go. Haley quietly walked next to her, holding on tight to her unicorn.
Before long, they had reached the floating item that normally would look totally out of place in a location such as a cemetery. But one look at the rows of graves left and right told them that this was Rosewood's special place for all the children whose life had been taken away too soon. And the balloon fit right in. There were stuffed animals everywhere, some withered, some looking rather new with colors still vibrant and fluffy fur fabric that hadn't been exposed to rain or sunshine for very long... photographs of smiling babies... tiny shoes in small translucent plastic boxes... and the framed picture of an ultrasound scan.
Hanna had to bite her lips to keep herself from sobbing as soon as she recognized the jagged white contours of Cole's body on a thermopaper printout from a few yards away. She pressed Haley's hand tighter as they stopped in front of it. Grimacing with pain, she got down on her knees and pulled Haley closer to her side. "Sweetie, do you remember how we talked about Grandpa Tom dying and going to heaven?" she spoke quietly, continuing when she saw her daughter nod, "And do you also remember what we told you about the cemetery?"
"Yeah. It's where people go to bring flowers and commorate."
"Right. Like we commemorate Grandpa whenever we come here to visit his grave," she explained, feeling a lump in her throat. "And this gravestone here… this is where we can come to commemorate Cole… Your brother!"
Haley stood quiet for a long moment, trying to grapple with that new information. "Why is he here? Why isn't he at home?" she asked eventually, not taking her eyes off of his tombstone.
"Well," Hanna started, her voice still creaking. "He was in Mommy's tummy a while ago… way before Owen was, I mean. And sadly, he passed away… before he was strong enough to survive outside of Mommy's tummy."
"Oh." Haley said, disconcerted. "Oh," she said again before she turned silent, reasoning for a moment.
"Do you want us to talk about it some more? Or do you have any questions about all of this?" Hanna watched the creases deepen on her daughter's forehead, worried she might have ruined her innocent childhood.
"I have a question."
"Okay, what do you want to know?"
"Did the delivery man break his box?"
"What? What's up with all the boxes you keep mentioning?"
Hanna listened to Haley recap her story time with Uncle Ezra and burst into laughter. She laughed so hard it hurt her still swollen tummy. And it finally gave her the peace of mind she had needed to find closure with getting over her miscarriage with Cole. She pulled her little girl flush against her, engulfing her in a fierce hug, all the while still carrying a huge smile on her face. She looked at the balloon wafting back and forth in the light wind. It was true, this was a place to commemorate. But who said that you couldn't make happy new memories on a graveyard?
oOOo
Minutes later, mother and daughter re-emerged from the gate, stepping out of the cool shade that the trees were throwing on the cemetery grounds. Hanna pulled her sunglasses down that she had been wearing like a headband, all the while being watched by a pair of weary brown eyes.
Caleb stood waiting in another corner of the cemetery's parking lot, making use of the sparse shade behind remnants of an old brick wall. In his arms, he was carrying his sleeping son. "Hey, sexy Momma!" he approached them from the side. Ignoring the presence of his daughter, he continued in a sultry voice, "Tell me, how do you do it?"
"Do what?" Hanna asked looking sideways as she walked Haley back to the car, pretending to remain impassive about his come-on.
"Being a brand new mother of two and looking radiant and stunning! As stunning as you looked when you were sixteen!"
"You're out of your mind," Hanna brushed him off.
"I'm serious," Caleb joined them to go the rest of the distance together, but Hanna stopped abruptly to look at him.
"Radiant, huh?" She paused. "l walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and you'd think that with the baby out now most of those vile forty pounds I've put on would have gone away, but, guess what, they're still there! And they make me look like… like… like one of the trolls from that movie, including high-maintenance hair!" she whined all worked up, pulling at some lose strands of hair and seeming like she was about to cry.
"Mommy, are you alright?" Haley asked, looking up skeptically.
"Not to mention the fact that I'm sweating. I'm sweating like a construction worker, Caleb!" Hanna went on despite her daughter's concern. She turned around to Caleb and buried her face in his shoulder. "And so do you." She immediately lifted her head again and took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I can't help it. It just comes out," she said and pet Haley's head.
"It's alright," Caleb countered and gave her a peck on the mouth. "I promise, I'll work on my abilities to compliment you.
"It was the hormones, I swear," she tried to rationalize again before she lowered herself to Owen in order to take him from Caleb. "Come on my sweet boy," she said with a high-pitched voice and pursed lips, as she walked ahead to the car.
"Hormones, huh?" Caleb asked as he started following her with Haley by his side. He sighed with a slightly fearful look on his face, a vague memory of 'Hormonal-Hanna-from-Hell' surfacing from nearly four years before when Haley had just been born. He better not argue with that. "Whatever you say, Sweetums!" he muttered quietly, more to himself than for her to hear.
Hanna rounded the car and looked up from the small bundle in her arms, alerted. "Hey, why did you get Owen out of the car? Was he crying? We agreed you'd call me if he was hungry."
"Relax! He was just hot in his car seat. That's all." Caleb opened the passenger door and helped Haley get in while Hanna put Owen into his seat in the back. Then, he stood up straight again and watched her across the rooftop as she re-did her ponytail that apparently helped keeping her hard-to-manage hair in check. Holding a scrunchie between her lips, she expertly combed through her short blonde mane with her fingers and had it fixed in no time. If he wasn't mistaken, she seemed a lot more at ease now. Her features had softened and her cheeks were no longer red with heat but a light shade of rose.
"Plus," he said, seeking her attention. "I figured you needed some more time for conclusion… in there," he added with a nod to the cemetery to his right.
Standing on either side of the car, they looked at each other for a long moment. "I did," she eventually broke their silence and cracked a smile. "And now let's go home. My boobs are killing me!"
"Anything I can do for your boobs? Because I'd love to!" Caleb suggested as he walked around the car to join Hanna on the other side.
"Caleb!" she exclaimed reproachfully and glanced at him. "No! I meant the milk let-down. It hurts so much, you have no idea!" Hanna protectively crossed her arms and flopped down in her seat. "Don't you come near my boobs, I dare you."
"And I meant I have some nice, cold cabbage leaves in the fridge for you. Can't say I didn't do my homework," Caleb told her proudly as he sat down behind the driving wheel. "Shame on you, what were you thinking?" he grinned at her reflection in the rear mirror.
"Wow, I'm impressed!"
"You ain't seen nothing yet, babe!" Caleb put on his sunglasses and started the engine. Another glimpse at the rear mirror revealed that Hanna was frantically wiping away the sweat beads that had started to emerge as soon as they had both closed their doors. "By the way… If you don't want me to make this a full-on sauna session with the nudity and the sweat gathering in my butt crack, you better let me turn on the air conditioning. Alright?"
In the seat next to him, Haley burst into laughter. "Butt rack… Daddy has a butt rack!"
"Don't worry, Owen will be fine." Caleb saw Hanna's doubtful expression in the mirror. "I'll set it on low, okay?" he relented.
"Butt rack, butt rack," the little girl kept cheering on as the car rolled from the parking lot, gathering speed on its way back to town.
"Okay, can we talk about something else, please? Haley?" Hanna attempted to stop her.
"Yes, Mommy. I know a name for my brother now."
"It's not going to be Butt Rack!" Hanna immediately replied without thinking. Another high-pitched laugh filled the car.
"Noooo, Mommy!"
"It's not going to be Humfalumpagus either. I'm sorry," she said with a soothing voice, knowing she had just smashed her daughter's dream.
"Noooo!" Haley cried, still giggling. "You got it all wrong. It's Snuffleupagus."
"Well, I was very close," Hanna said quickly. "But no!"
"That's not the name I want."
"Okay, here's some ground rules," Caleb intervened. "No Sesame Street characters' names, no fruit names, no vegetable names, no sushi names, no…-"
"-… girls' names," Hanna finished his sentence.
"It's Cole," the toddler said solemnly.
For a minute, nobody said a word. Then, Caleb was first to react. "What?"
"Mommy told me about my dead baby brother Cole. I pick that name." Hanna and Caleb's eyes met again in the rear mirror, exchanging unspoken thoughts. "When we came to the cemetery, she cried. And then she showed me his balloon and his ultra picture and she stopped crying and then we laughed," Haley continued to explain her choice, getting more insistent. "It has to be a happy name, Daddy."
"I think that's a great middle name for Owen," Caleb concluded. "But let's see what your mom thinks, okay?"
Hanna stared at the baby next to her, contemplating. Some children were being named after their father or grandfather. Could she handle naming Owen after his late brother?
She could. And maybe she even should. Maybe she would never get another son who could keep her first son's memory alive…
Slowly, Hanna realized she had been lost in thought and focused on Owen's tiny fists in her hand again. "Welcome to our family, Owen Cole Rivers!" she murmured quietly.
Caleb had heard her anyway. "Perfect!"
"Yeaaaahhhh," Haley cheered and clapped her hands in her seat in the front.
The noise woke up Owen, whose blue eyes gaped in Hanna's direction, prompting her to break into a smile as she whispered, "Yes. Perfect."
oOOo THE END oOOo
Thank you for taking the time to read this story. If you can spare another minute or two, I'd love to read a review or hear from you on twitter. This story has not been beta'ed as I didn't think I could ask anyone for that kind of favor after surpassing the 10,000-word mark. So, bear with me as English is only my second language.
XOXO, Zip!