FRIENDS ACT 1., SC. 1
"The One With Phoebe's Secret" 68
(FADE IN: JOEY AND CHANDLER'S APARTMENT. JOEY IS SITTING AT THE COUNTER READING A FOLDED NEWSPAPER. CHANDLER ENTERS WEARING HIS WORK CLOTHES.)
CHANDLER
Hey!
JOEY
Hey!
(CHANDLER PUTS BRIEFCASE ON THE COUNTER.)
Personals?
JOEY
(SMILES.)
Yeah.
(HANDS PAPER TO CHANDLER.)
Check this one out.
CHANDLER
(READING.)
Let's see…lesbian dominatrix into S&M, spanking, and body piercing seeks partner for torture and kinky activities…
(PAUSES.)
…no weirdos please…
(PAUSES AGAIN. HANDS PAPER BACK TO JOEY.)
I like it!
(HANDS THE PAPER BACK TO JOEY.)
So, what time are we meeting the girls?
JOEY
(STILL READING THE PAPER.)
Uh, Monica said we're supposed to meet them at eight…
(CHANDLER BEGINS REMOVING HIS TIE AND HEADS FOR HIS ROOM. JOEY LAUGHS.)
CHANDLER
Cool. That gives me just enough time to change…
JOEY
(STILL READING.)
Hey! Here's one!
(CHANDLER STOPS.)
Two fun-loving gay men into sports, coffee, and fashion seek partner for threesome…
(PAUSES.)
Must have sense of humor and be willing to try anything…call 555…
(PAUSES AGAIN.)
…6423…
CHANDLER
(STOPS.)
555…6423?
JOEY
(UNEASY)
Yeah…
CHANDLER
That's…
(PHONE RINGS. HE LOOKS AT JOEY. PHONE RINGS AGAIN. SLOWLY, THEIR MOUTHS OPEN. THEY SCREAM.)
CURTAIN