***The Seduction of Lorelai Gilmore***
"Come on, you have to admit that this is one of my best ideas this week."
Colin rolled his eyes, and gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Yes, because it is just guaranteed to work."
"It is my destiny," Finn prophesized. "This is the MILF of all MILFs. Now, I have had my share of MILFs. Frankly, I've had several people's share. This one, however, I must have. And the complete coincidence that Rory needed to get her boxes moved to her new residence was just fate giving her blessing."
"You do realize that she is probably married, don't you?"
"Rory's not married. She's dating Logan."
"Her mother is probably married."
"Number one, when has that ever been a problem, and b, have you ever heard Rory talk about her dad?"
"No, have you?"
"No, seriously. I'm asking you. I don't really listen to what she says. Have you heard her talk about her dad?"
"Hmmm.... no recollection of it. Was he at that party at her grandparents house?"
"I've been to her grandparents pad?"
"Yes - we had a sub-party in the poolhouse? You serenaded Rory with your rendition of 'My Heart will go on' right after your presentation of 'The Passion of the Christ'?"
"Huh. I thought that was where we were going now."
Colin didn't answer. He instead grabbed the paper of directions out of Finn's hand, and tried to read it while he was driving.
"Turn at the giant Rooster," he muttered, confused, until he saw Monty appear in front of him. "Okay."
Finn saw the Rooster as well. "Toto, I don't think we're in Hartford anymore."
Pulled into a driveway next to a falling over mailbox with 'Gilmore' in big letters.
"They live here?" Finn asked. "Those two gorgeous creatures live... here?" He looked at the small house. "I thought they were loaded."
"Apparently not."
"Right. Here's the plan. You go and get Rory's stuff. I go seduce her mother."
"What makes you think that you have a chance?"
"Just because she really looked like she could use some grade A imported meat."
"Whatever, just know that when you get a restraining order placed against you, my amusement will be eternal. What will this be? Your third?"
"Fourth I think. That girl Tracy from Bridgeport filed one last week."
Colin rolled his eyes and emerged from the car. "Glad to see you've recovered from her bruising dismissal so quickly."
Finn gave a cheeky grin. "Today, Tenzing, I conquer Everest. I will knock the bastard off."
"It's good to have goals," Colin deadpanned as he rang the bell.
The woman who had bailed Rory out of jail answered the door wearing tight jeans and a blue tank top. She also wore a confused expression.
"Uh.. can I help you?" she tried valiantly to place the faces in front of her.
Finn stepped forward, pushing Colin out of the way. He took her hand, and placed a kiss on the back of it. "Yes my darling. We are here to collect Rory's belongings. And also to help mend your broken heart."
Lorelai pulled her hand away. "So... you're a member of the BeeGees?"
Finn put on his most seductive look. "Exactly, gorgeous. How deep is YOUR love? Because right now, I'm falling head over heels."
"Uh... we brought our own boxes," Colin added, indicating the pile of boxes next to him.
"Well, her room is this way," Lorelai motioned, her voice cold. She stood aside to let them past. Colin hauled the boxes towards the bedroom, but Finn stayed behind, pinning Lorelai against the wall.
"My love, I see our future together. I see us happy, and I wouldn't even mind being Rory's step-father. She can call me 'daddy'."
Lorelai gently pushed him off her. "I think your crystal ball might be cloudy, because that's not what I see."
He reached to stroke her hair. "And what do you see, my Goddess?"
Lorelai grabbed Finn's arm, and looked at his watch. "Well, boy-I-haven't-met, I see my fiance coming home any minute," she waved her ringed hand in his face, "and kicking your ass into next month."
Finn frowned slightly at the extra work this seduction was going to be. A fiance made things more difficult - but not impossible. "But what can he really give you." He looked around at the modest accomodations. "I can give you so much more. My trust fund kicks in next year, and I can have you living like the queen that you are."
A sly grin spread across her face. "Well, I'll tell you what he can give me that I can guarantee that you cannot..." She had just started to look this boy up and down, comparing him to Luke, when the door opened.
"Hey, Lorelai, are you..." Luke stopped dead when he saw the little punk hanging over his fiancee. "Am I interrupting something important?" he asked, guessing correctly what he was interrupting.
"Yes," Finn replied, but was ignored.
"Baby, you're home," Lorelai greeted him, extricating herself away from Finn. "Rory's friend and I were just talking about you."
"Really?" Luke raised his eyebrows at the man-boy.
"Yes," Lorelai told him, her voice sickly sweet. "We were just discussing how well you could beat him to a pulp for hitting on me."
On the inside, Luke stayed calm, but he played along with Lorelai's little game. "You're hitting on my woman?" He stepped towards Finn.
Finn knew he had met his match instantly. "Uh, no sir."
Colin came out of Rory's room, unaware of what was occurring in the foyer. "Finn, are you going to help me at all?" He froze when he took in the situation, before shaking his head and smirking. "Hows the climbing expedition going?"
"Shut up, Colin," Finn answered through his teeth.
Luke pulled himself up to his full height. "Yes, why don't you go help your little friend, and then get the hell out of my house?"
"Excellent idea. Almost my exact thoughts on the matter," Finn stuttered, before escaping to Rory's room with Colin.
Luke placed his hand on the small of Lorelai's back, and guided her gently to the couch. "Who? Why?" he asked as they sunk into the cushions.
"Apparently Rory's friends. Getting the rest of her stuff."
"And they thought they'd pick up something else while they were up this way?"
Lorelai shrugged. "Seems so."
Luke rolled his eyes at the immaturity of the boys. "And are you okay with the whole situation?" He stroked her cheek softly.
"Getting hit on by a 24 year old? Well, it's always good for the self-esteem," she joked.
"No. Them taking Rory's things."
"I'd rather not think about it right now." She played with the new diamond on her finger.
"Okay, another day maybe?"
"We'll see." Lorelai leaned in to rest her head on Luke's shoulder. "Probably more sad than mad now."
"I know," he rubbed her arm soothingly.
"You know what would make me happier though," she grinned at him.
"What?" he asked warily.
"Hardbodies."
"Again?"
Lorelai nudged him. "What do you mean, again? You fell asleep last time."
"Okay. Hardbodies it is." She leapt up to find the tape just as Finn and Colin came into the living room carrying big boxes.
"We're done. Thanks for letting us in," Colin told them.
Lorelai just snorted.
"And just for the record, we didn't touch any of her underwear. I just dumped the whole drawer into the box," he added.
"Yeah... that makes it so much better," Lorelai told him.
Colin turned to leave.
"Goodbye my lovely," Finn told her as he left also. "You give me a call when you want something better."
Luke just glared at him, which made Finn walk that little bit faster.
"Yeah, thanks," Lorelai mumbled.
"You know," Luke told her as she snuggled back into his side, "if you want a toy-boy, I'll begrudingly give you up. I just want you to be happy." He could barely contain his smirk.
Lorelai pretended to consider his offer. "Well... nah, it's okay. I'll stick with what I've got."
"Probably wouldn't have been worth it, anyway. He might not be much use after I've been to 'talk' to him, and he has his ball-retrieval surgery."
"Just as well I chose to stay with you, huh?"
"Probably for the best," he chuckled, and kissed the top of her head as the movie began to play.