This story was posted without being doublechecked at first. It has been updated and is in a better shape.
Hope you will like it.
I really need your support.
So..
Its hard to say when she stopped being a kid. Its not like she changed physically. She still was skinny with no curves, her petite figure reminded you more of a 12year old boy than a girl in her twenties.
Guess it was all about her manners and the air surrounding her as well as those small things that seem to not matter. Twenty-two years old Sakura's hands, though still marred with microscopic scars and dirt and paint, were more ladylike. The movement of her long fingers were precise and patient, unshakable. Whereas, back when she was nineteen, before the sudden change, her hands displayed more of her unsure self (when she was not performing well in her arts class you could notice a slight shake in them, she used to knock her fingers multiple times on the board to get rid of the tension). Yeah, the subtle but still noticeable difference was there. That I am sure of now when I look at Sakura's said fingers confidently tap twice on the glass of straight Gin for the barman to get a hint to repeat.
"Mércy.."
And where has the slight shake in my Dolly's voice gone? As I watched her critically while she stared right back with no visible worry, I couldn't help but think about a different time, when I was not so blinded by thirst for success and her natural sweet scent was not overpowered and wellhidden by this particular perfume which I decidedly did not approve of. It smelled of power and cold fury and sweet acid. It was attractive but so opposite to her natural scent it made bile rise to my throat. Something told me it was specially there for me. I remembered the way my bed sheets smelled after her stay. Like sunshine and wet ground and the overwhelming and unmistakable hint of youth.
She was so young.
"I do believe you still smoke?"
No, i quit. Its been more than an year actually and she knows it, but still offers a pack as she lights a cigarette for herself.
"I'll have one, thank you."
I take it so there could be some kind of comfort to this evening. The slight tang of the smoke is familiar which I am grateful for, after all, there is a stranger sitting in front of me.
"So, " She starts, "I heard you came back for good."
"That's true"
"You didn't like the city?"
"New York is too hectic for me. I much prefer Birmingham's scary silence."
She laughs. Its not genuine. Its polite and easy. I've never heard it, but the sudden release of throaty sound from her mouth is welcome. It still brings back memories of her laughter. HER laughter. A breathy, throaty, full and a painfully young sound.
Young. God, she was so young. That was always the problem with her.
"You consider Birmingham scary?"
She has a forced but somehow still relaxed smile plastered on her face. I am overwhelmed with a desire to kiss if off, smack her out of this skin.
"Where has my Dolly gone?"
My words are a shock for myself, after all I promised to spend a completely dry polite evening with her, chit-chat, catch up. Some things, it seems, never change. I still can't control my words while speaking with her. I always speak my mind. This time she is not surprised. Guess she expected it.
"There never was your Dolly." She took a patient hit, "There was my unconditional love for you.. And I wanted you."
I felt the tablecloth shift slightly. I could tell she was clenching her thighs together.
"And don't call me that..." I heard her murmur that part.
It was what we came here for after all.
To talk truth after all those lies for all those years.
Dolly was Sakura's childhood nickname. It was a cruel one at that, for it was placed upon her in a malicious intent by other girls to mock the ugly duckling. For me it was an endearment. She, with her flat, but petite and elegant figure, weird shade of strawberry blond chopped hair and cutely asymmetric forehead, was the most beautiful thirteen years old creature in town.
"How come you never were mine than?" I'm not mocking her, actually I say this with utmost regret.
"You weren't mine either."
I laughed. It was not strained or forced. It was genuine and bitter. She was so young, god, she never really knew what she did to me.
Her facade did not break. Though I could feel the air around us freeze.
"Your lying." I felt all the humor and patience disappear from me. Fuck, I could feel the smooth skin of her knee against my thigh and it was driving me mad. But first thing's first. Passive aggressiveness: "I was an only man in your life. You are not ready to even let me give up on you. We both know I will never stop, but let's not deny how much you love it." I moved closer, whispering in her ear, "no matter how hard you try, Doll, you can't ease the sweet ache you have there for me. I can smell it all over you". Suddenly there she was. My Dolly. Not a composed good-girl, not Sakura-my-childhood-friend, not Ino's forehead-girl, not Naruto's best friend. It was my personal favorite doll. Pretty and damaged. And all mine.
Her cheeks tinted with a blush, the corners of her lips freezing and a short twitch in her eyebrows. Her tongue slipped out to wet her bottom lip and fuck, this was so familiar!
"Sasuke, I-I think this is a mistake," her neat facade cracks. I smirk. I think the familiarity of me winning does it and more of her comes out.
Keep going.
"I was young and you were a jerk and it was kinda-kinda like what me and my girlfriends used to talk about on sleepovers all those years ago... I considered myself bold and daring and all those things I wasn't and wanted to be... because being with you was an adventure. But now its turned into... into something ugly and disappointing."
She takes another deep hit and crushes her Aqua. I stare at her. There. If I push hard enough, I can get rid of this skin she hid in and maybe - maybe -, tonight I'll get to wash off this disgusting perfume off of her with my own scent.
"You grew up." I start.
"Yeah.."
"You still into art?"
"Yes." Her face almost brightens.
"Hows your mom doing."
"She's fine. Was promoted we got a new car and all that jazz."
"I love you."
She simply shakes her head as if she heard something overly depressing.
"I don't know"
That hurt more than I let her know. Actually she might have just broken some of my ribs on the left side.
We don't try to continue this conversation. Though we know each other too well to remain in a comfortable silence.
"I'm sorry".
Why is she always apologizing?
I take a swig of her drink. Its bitter. How appropriate.
"I love you, Doll." I repeat as if commenting about the weather.
"You lying Sasuke. You always are."
"I never lie."
She takes a sip and lights another cigarette.
"Mom told me you have a girlfriend." I knew it was coming.
"We're over."
She laughs bitterly and it's just so Sakura I would start crying if I was a lesser man.
traditionally, I decide to play with her heart a little.
"She's just like you. Small and fragile and all hearts and flowers."
"I'm not hearts and flowers".
"No, you're all guns and blood." Sarcasm.
"I'll leave if you have nothing else to say."
"You won't."
She grins that shit-eating grin and I know what she'll do. She gets up and leaves. Its so ladylike. She doesn't even think about paying for her drink or looking at me as I watch her back.
God, I love her.
I pay and follow her. I don't try to fall into step until she reaches her neighborhood.
.
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