Title: "Light at the end of the tunnel"

Summary: Its three years after the war but Harry is still struggling to find his footing. He felt dead yet the pain in his heart proved otherwise. Will he be able to find happiness and live normally like the rest of the world or will he continue to fight for freedom and light?

'The nightmare'

If someone told you that you have to save the world and may die in the process, what will be your reaction?

I was subjected to this circumstance few years ago. I was surprised of course, who wouldn't? I was just a kid, barely even know much about myself and then I would be told that only I can defeat the dark lord? I just laughed it off of course.

But deaths came and go, for several years I have witnessed people I know, friends that I care, family that I love, died. Who sacrificed their lives for mine and to be under this scenario is bruising. I was confounded with several thoughts, it stung.

Then things changed, thoughts changed, feelings changed, and my views also changed. I accepted death like its second nature to me.

'Disappear. Disappear. Disappear.' I heard the voice inside my head say. The word seems so enticing, perfectly describing what I feel.

Looking up at the vast blue sky, I felt so alone and small. 'Disappear. Disappear. Disappear.' The voice repeated.

I closed my eyes feeling the wind caress my face. "Feel so nice." I silently mumbled while smiling at the sensation.

I moved a step forward and raised my hands up, like wings. 'Fly! Fly! Fly!' I heard the voice and birds sang in unison.

I opened my eyes and looked up once again, examining the word that roams in my head. 'Fly! Fly! Fly!' My feet started moving, quickly gaining speed in every step I take. "I'm flying." I declaim in a singsong joining the birds whistling a melody above me, basking in the feeling of being free.

Then suddenly, the singing halted, the wind stopped, the voice ceased. So I discontinue running. The light started disappearing and I was confronted with darkness. I was filled with fear.

Then I heard a noise so faint I couldn't describe what. I tried to focus my hearing to the source of the noise.

"Hello!? Is anyone there?" I called, trying to see in the dark.

"Hello!? Is anyone there?"

My words were echoed.

"Where are you?" I asked again a little louder.

"Where are you?"

My words were repeated like before but hearing closely I recognised some distinct differences, and concluded that someone's really there aside from me.

"I know you're there. Repeating my words won't help you." I declared firmly, I can still feel the fear inside me, but I hid them.

Then I heard them laugh. Every fiber of my being screamed danger.

I have to leave this place, I have to get out. I took few steps back but the laughing subsided. Once again I was met with silence. It was the most agonising silence I have experienced in my life. It's tearing me apart.

"Are you afraid?" The voice of a man spoke as if taunting.

"I am not afraid! Show where you are!" I challenged him.

A blinding light appeared in front of me and couldn't help but cover my eyes.

"You are afraid." The voice continued again.

I peeled the hand covering my eyes to look at the owner of the voice. However, as soon as I laid my eyes on him I cursed myself at my fate.

"You're dead!" I exclaimed while I fished my wand inside my pocket, pointing it at him. "You're supposed to be dead! I killed you!" I shouted curses at him, my wand at the ready.

This is only a dream, this is just a dream, a nightmare, like the others I've had before, I will wake up soon. I tried to convince myself. This is just a dream, this is just a dream, this is just a dream! I repeated the words like a mantra.

A smile full of contempt appeared on his face. "Indeed, I am dead. But I am alive… Inside you." Voldemort urged Harry to come to him, as if by force his body started moving on its own. Moving forward to his fate. To his death.

"I am you." Voldemort continued, eyes full of venom. Voldemort reached for him.

"No! I will never be you!" I cried angrily and aimed a crucio at him before he could grasp my hand.

The pain I felt was excruciating, I fell down as the curse entered my body. "Why."

"I told you, I. Am. You." Voldemort stated.

Those were the last words I heard before blackness consumed me.

"Harry…"

I heard faint cry of my name. But I was afraid to open them again. I don't want to see him. I don't want to be confronted by another nightmare. So I held them close.

"…rry, …se wa.. up."

"Harry."

The voices continued. Though afraid, I gathered my nerves and slowly opened them.

I was met with a pair concerned teary eyes.

"Harry!" The owner of the eyes exclaimed and hugged him in relief. "You're finally awake!"

"…mione." I managed to choke.

"Hey mate. Glad you could join the living again."

Harry turned to see his best mate. Though smiling he could clearly see that the latter was trying his best not to be emotional. He wanted to tease him for displaying such feeling but curiosity overcame him. He doesn't know what happened or what have he gotten himself again this time.

He must have shown on his face the desire to know his current situation for Hermione spoke again.

"You're in St. Mungo's." She filled in while wiping the tears on her face with the back of her hand. But when she found it hard to continue she sought the help of Ron now her husband.

"Ginny brought you here. You've been asleep for 5 days mate. We thought you'll never wake up." Ron kept on.

"3 days?" He asked, perplexed by the information.

Ron nodded in agreement. "Ginny saw you on the floor. She thought you were asleep but when she tried to wake you and you wouldn't budge, she brought you here immediately."

"The healers couldn't find what's wrong; they tried every potion, spells that may help wake you up but you just kept unconscious." Hermione added. "It's like you're alive and yet… dead."

Harry fell silent; he doesn't know what to say. It is indeed after all what he felt exactly. Alive and yet dead.

Before he could speak again a knock interrupted them.

A healer he assumed came inside.

"I'm glad you're finally up!" She greeted with a warm smile.

Harry tried to respond with the same vigour but managed to express his worry otherwise.

"Oh, Harry. You will be fine. We're doing everything we can to help you." The healer assured him, though he doesn't know from what exactly. What kind of help does he need? He's not badly ill, is he?

He wanted to voice his concern but was confused when his eyes caught a glimpse of silver and found the last person he expects to see at the doorway.

Everyone followed his eyes and saw Draco Malfoy leaning at the door.

"We have assigned Draco to check on you while we're conducting our diagnosis."

"What!?" He asked louder than he intended. Surely they wouldn't just let the blonde take care of him. His friends know how they had treated each other since they were kids.

"Exactly our reaction when we first heard of it." Ron replied.

"Harry, as unbelievable as it may sound, Malfoy is a healer and he's one of the best staff here in St. Mungo's." Hermione explained which the healer nodded in pride and agreement.

Harry saw Draco with the ever familiar smirk planted on his face. And he couldn't help himself but sigh. Another nightmare apparently is coming his way.

TBC