Disclaimer: Drake and Josh – loved but not owned by me!
Rating: T for Teen, implied slash only
Author: therubyone
A/N: written in response to the fanfic challenge from adelanightmoon
Summary: It's Valentine's Day for the Parker-Nichols clan.
MY HEART IS WHERE THE HOME IS
February 14, Valentine's Day, fell on a Thursday. Josh Nichols had an after-school swim meet. Drake Parker, his stepbrother, picked him up when he'd finished, since Drake had taken their car earlier to practice with his band. Drake pulled into their garage and started gathering up his things out of the back seat. In one hand he carried a bunch of heart-shaped helium-filled balloons and a large white gift bag decorated with pink and red hearts, and in the other hand he lugged a plain brown paper grocery bag by its handles. Josh Nichols opened the door for him, noting with appreciative wonder, "You made out like a bandit, bro!"
Even though the official exchange of valentines ceased sometime during middle school, Drake's popularity with the fairer sex always resulted in his locker being turned into a shrine for Cupid. He didn't have a steady girlfriend presently, so his haul was larger than usual this year. The gift bag contained valentines, store-bought and hand-made, scented with perfumes, signed with names and phone numbers, plus a variety of treats and novelty items. Drake hurried upstairs with his stuff, leaving Josh to chat with their mother Audrey and sister Megan.
Walter Nichols was at work; he'd been scheduled for the lunch and drive time news broadcasts that day and would be finishing up soon. Audrey Parker-Nichols bustled around between the kitchen and dining room, setting the table for Megan, Drake and Josh. She was getting ready to leave the house to meet Walter downtown for a romantic tête-à-tête. They were going to have dinner at Neon, a trendy restaurant, followed by a chick flick that would make Audrey cry and give Walter the chance to take a nap with his eyes open. He would be dreaming of later on that night, when the two of them would be alone in their bedroom, and his lovely wife would model the lacy red lingerie that he had hidden under her pillow that morning.
Drake promptly re-gifted the balloons to his younger sister Megan. She was, after all, evil through and through, so there was no reason to waste any money on her. Megan accepted the gift in the spirit it was given, and took the balloons into her bedroom, the forbidden zone. She had her Valentine's Day box from school to keep her busy in there for a while.
In response to Audrey's call, all three of the siblings came downstairs to the dining room table. Their mother had placed little stuffed bears, clutching packets of pastel conversation hearts, for each of them, next to their dinner plates. The evening menu featured meatloaf. She kissed each of her three children good night, admonished them to do their homework and get to bed on time, because she and Walter would be returning late. She floated away, her best perfume lingering in the air where she had just been, her mind looking forward to her night out with her husband.
"Ugh!" muttered Drake, pushing the meatloaf around with his fork, and staring at it as though it might bite back.
"Meatloaf is not Mom's best dish," murmured Josh, diplomatically, as he carefully cut his portion into little pieces and combined it with the mashed potatoes to make it easier to choke down.
"It's fine if you put enough ketchup on it," stated Megan, squirting a huge blob onto her dinner.
Five minutes later, Drake had already eaten his dessert, fancy Valentine cupcakes, along with those intended for Josh. He pushed away from the table, saying "I'm going to make some hot dogs. Anybody else want any?"
Megan and Josh shook their heads and continued dutifully eating the meal their mother had prepared. Josh called out to Drake, "Hey, if you're heading upstairs, bring up some pudding, for later." Drake grunted affirmatively and disappeared. Josh had kind of wanted those cupcakes, at least the pudding would be some kind of treat.
Megan helped Josh clear away the dishes and informed him that she was going to do her homework in the living room in front of the TV and then go to bed, lest he get any ideas about encroaching on her space. Josh loaded the dishwasher and went up to the room he shared with Drake, knowing better than to cross Megan.
Drake was already sitting on the couch, watching television, when Josh came through the door. Drake's fancy gift bag was at his feet, and he was sorting through the valentines, separating them into "to-do" piles. Josh went to the rocking chair, where his backpack was, and finished up the homework he had started during his free period that afternoon.
Drake was trying to decide whom to take to the Belleview Valentine social tomorrow night. Michelle had asked him first. They had remained friends after their brief togetherness on the Academic Team. They had dated only a few times and it had been left to Josh to explain to Drake that he'd been very politely dumped. Drake liked Michelle -- she never talked down to him or made fun of him because of his poor grades. But he never could really follow anything she talked about. He knew she had asked him out to make George Doty jealous, with which he could sympathize. Besides, it was relaxing for him sometimes to take someone out who wasn't looking for something from him. However, if he escorted Michelle and ended up doubling with Josh and the Creature, then they'd ALL be talking about things that either bored him or he didn't understand, so he reluctantly eliminated Michelle from the running.
Picking up the smallest pile, Drake tapped each card, and in a sing-song voice mumbled "Eeny-Meeny-Miney-Mo" when Josh looked up.
Josh grinned and asked "Picking your date for the Valentine dance?"
Drake nodded and finished the rhyme, holding up the winner's card to read the number written there in silver gel pen. He made a quick phone call. Josh could hear the girl's excited squeals from where he was sitting. She might as well have won the lottery.
Josh packed away his papers and books. He went to his closet and saw that Drake had placed the brown paper bag on the bed. "What's this doing here?"
"It's for Valentine's Day, to you . . . from me," said Drake, feigning disinterest.
Josh spilled out the contents of the bag onto the bed and it was his turn to squeal with delight. "Get up here, you!" he commanded, beckoning Drake, who had turned to watch Josh's reaction.
Smiling broadly, Drake dropped his casual act, muted the volume on the TV, eagerly left his seat on the sofa and sprinted up to the level with Josh's bed. Josh patted a space on the bed, inviting Drake to sit, which he did.
"I wasn't sure if we were doing this or not," Josh exclaimed, turning and reaching into his closet. To Drake's surprise, Josh presented him with a large red satin-covered heart-shaped box and an envelope to which a long-stemmed red rose had been taped. "Happy Valentine's Day to you, too!"
Drake pointed to the jumbled items on the bed. Almost shyly, he said, "I hope you like these." Then he settled down to sample his chocolates, consulting the diagram on the lid to find the pieces he liked best, relishing each bite and keeping an eye on Josh as he examined the presents.
There were six small scented candles, which Josh sniffed in turn, and placed on the desk next to the bed. "Oooh, this one smells fizzy!" Josh commented, in his excitement proffering it to Drake, forgetting that because Drake had purchased them, Drake had already smelled them all.
Then Josh picked up the jar of bath salts, and upon reading the label, questioned "Coconut lime?"
"It reminded me of suntan lotion and the beach. Besides, it was the manliest fragrance I could find," answered Drake, chuckling.
Josh sifted through all the toys and candies, including a paddle with an elastic string and red ball attached, a Rudnik's cube, a Galaxy Wars key ring, a Pintendo GS game cartridge ("Basements and Boondoggles"), a CD of rare bird calls, a refrigerator magnet in the shape of a horseshoe, a dispenser with a flip-top heart that held Mocha Cola-flavored pastilles. Josh tasted one, "Mmmm, my fave!"
Drake beamed that he'd scored a home run. Josh was pleased beyond measure – almost shocked - that Drake had put such thought and effort into making up a Valentine's bag for him, even if it was in a plain brown wrapper! The last thing Josh picked up, a little wooden desk plaque, spelled out in red letters: "Home is where the Heart is."
"This was so thoughtful of you, Drake. I'm touched." Josh leaned over and put his arm around Drake, squeezing.
"Oh," Drake said, standing up and reaching into his back pocket. "I almost forgot this." He gave Josh a folded-up piece of notebook paper.
"And you better look in that envelope," Josh reminded Drake.
Simultaneously, both boys opened their last Valentine's Day surprise from the other.
Drake loved to doodle in class. He had drawn an elaborate heart, a familiar-looking house, and a pair of stick figures holding hands. The taller of the two stick figures had an unusually large head. At the bottom of the page, Drake had written: "My Heart is where the Home is. Love, D."
To Josh it was no secret that Drake was dyslexic. He kissed the paper. "I love it! Thank you!" he said joyfully, waiting for Drake to look at what he held in his hands.
Drake examined the thin spiral-bound volume. It was the size of a checkbook. He flipped it open and read the inscription, "Happy Valentine's Day, Drake. I hope you will find this useful. Yours faithfully, Prof. Dorkstein."
Drake barked out a laugh. "Professor DORKstein? What up with that?"
"You can tear that page out, if you want. In case anybody – that is, Megan – found it; I didn't want her to know who it was from. None of her damned business."
"Why didn't you sign it 'Miss Nancy'? At least that's a girl's name . . ." Drake suddenly realized that it was a booklet of coupons that Josh had created and printed. He turned the pages, snorting, laughing, and reacting just as happily as Josh had a moment earlier.
"The idea came to me from that time you got Mom and Dad a coupon book for their anniversary," Josh explained.
Drake read aloud, "Good for one free backrub. Scalp massage, no charge. Get out of jail free. I-O-U one homework assignment of your choice. I will do a chore for you. One flick, with no payback. You pick the dessert. Hugs on demand. Will organize your underwear drawer. Extra spoonful of sugar." Then Drake flushed a bright crimson, as he turned the pages and kept reading, in silence.
Hardly able to contain his glee, Josh pointed out the obvious, "I put all the X-rated ones at the back!"
"I see!" Drake whistled, impressed. "You've thought of . . . everything."
"Now hug me, brotha!" Josh said, emphatically, leaping up and catching Drake in his arms for an enthusiastic twirl.
Once Josh set him down again, Drake went over to the desk and lit all the scented candles. He swept the Valentine goodies back into the bag and quickly shoved the whole thing into Josh's closet. He kicked off his shoes. Then with a flourish, he ripped out the last page of the coupon book and handed it to Josh, who was standing there, watching, with bemused interest.
Drake plumped the pillows, including Mr. Puff-Puff, hopped onto the bed and lay back languidly against them, waiting to be pleasured, feeling like a paladin of old. He tilted his head, looking at Josh expectantly, with eyebrows raised. Josh knew what was on that particular coupon, without having to read it. With teasing slowness, Josh walked over and locked the door. Then he switched off the lights, climbed onto the bed and whispered sweetly, "I hope you know my heart is where the home is, too."
"I do. But tonight, Professor, you're going to have to show me."
FADE TO BLACK AND CUT