The One Left Behind
I never heard you, but I hear you.
I never held you, but I feel you.
I never knew you, but I love you.
They say Jade Oliver cut all her hair off after she lost her baby boy. They say she spends her days and nights in his nursery, reading stories to the blackness of night. They say she was the best friend of the woman who was raped as a teen, and helped her through it. They say she always told Caterina Valentine to keep trying and never give up no matter what. They say its ironic that she crumbled so easily. They say she never leaves her house. They say her husband, Beck Oliver, left her because of that.
/~/
Reality for Jade, was something she didn't know any longer. She lost herself, and she can't find her way back. She dreams of that night. The smell of blood thick, and the air silent without a single scream. She knew something was wrong, but she wouldn't believe it.
Why would death take her baby boy from her? Why would death want him so early? No parent should ever have to bury their child, its suppose to be the other way around. The first night she was home since she lost her baby boy, she dreamed of his eyes. She imagined beautiful blue eyes like the sea, that lit up like the suns golden rays. That dream turned into a nightmare real fast. Blood filled eye sockets, gray sun, sunken in mouth. She couldn't believe her eyes. But she was still holding him in her arms, and his little lifeless fingers were wrapped around her pointer and she couldn't help but cherish the moment. The moment she hadn't been able to get, because he was long gone before the day she delivered.
He had been rotting away inside her while she shopped for bottles and teddy bears.
She wakes up screaming in drenched in sweat, and when Beck wraps his arms around her and tells her it'll be okay, she flinches and shakes her head.
It will never be okay.
/~/
When Jade wakes up in the morning she lays in bed for hours just staring up at the ceiling. She thinks of what she would've been doing if her son were here. She'd be feeding him, and rocking him, and singing to him. What's she going to do with all the gifts she received at her baby shower? Everyone put in time and effort and he's not even here to wear or use what they got. He's not here, and all Jade's left with is a freshly painted nursery.
(but she's not giving anything away)
"Jade will you at-least talk to me? You won't even look at me anymore." Beck says, coming towards her, staring at her with sad, tired eyes. "You don't have to be alone in this."
"Did you carry a baby inside of you for eight months? Did you feel him inside of you growing? Did you feel him stop moving one day and ignore it?" Jade cried, pointing at him angrily, her voice cracking because of the intensity of her words.
"It is not your fault Jade, stop blaming yourself." Beck responded, his hand in his hair. "He was my son too, you're not the only one who lost him."
"It feels like I am." She whispered, barely audible.
But he heard her, and there are no words to describe the feeling he got after she said that. How could she say that?
/~/
The fifteenth night back, she dreamed of his little tiny lips. What they'd look like when he drank from his bottle, or when he yawned. The curve of his smile, and the incoherent sounds he would've made when he attempted to talk.
She doesn't flinch when the crimson red blood pours down his mouth slowly and down her arms. She says to herself, 'It's the closest thing to throwup.'
Jade screams again when she wakes up, but this time Beck is not there when she's laying there sobbing and shivering from the cold sheets.
(she wonders if Beck's laying in bed missing her warmth as she is his.)
when she gets up she chops her hair off.
/~/
"I'm so sorry for your loss. My condolences." Her neighbor Natalie says to her, as she hands her a fruit basket. Jade takes it from her, but she does not react or say anything at all. What is she supposed to say? I'm sorry too? Natalie understands and walks away soon after.
She places the fruit on the kitchen counter, and never goes near it again. She walks into her sons room and cries. She wanted to be a mother so badly, she had been looking forward to it. A new chapter in her life, but now closed. What did she do to deserve this?
She tried everyday of her life to be a better person than she was in high-school, and she believes she was. She wanted everyone to be happy, and to enjoy life because it could be taken away so easily. She learned that when she was really young and her father told her that her mom had passed away in a car accident seventeen days after her birth. Jade never got to meet her mother, and now she never got to meet her son. She doesn't know what kind of person she was, or what kind of person he could've been.
All she has is her imagination, and this hope that maybe someday they will meet.
/~/
The thirty fourth day since Jade gave birth to a still born she dreamed of her son's hands, his touch. His hands are tiny and soft, and she craves his touch, she needs to know he's there. Another thing Jade realizes is her son is not a baby, he's a toddler. He looks like she always imagined he would. Brown hair, blue eyes, tan skin, and a beautiful smile.
He reaches for her, and her heart races. If her touches, it's over, because she never let go. When his tiny palm rests softly on her cheek, she cries, because instead of blood oozing out of his mouth or eyes, or his skin turning to death, he glows even brighter.
"Mommy." He says, smiling, his teeth tiny and his smile wide and pure.
Jade cries as she pulls him closer, oh how bad she wanted to hear those words.
And when she wakes up Jade is not on her bed. She panics for a second but calms down when she realizes she is in her son's nursery, clutching a teddy bear. When she looks at the teddy bears eyes, she sees trails of blood all down it's sockets and soaking into it's fur.
She screams, and she sobs until the sun goes down and she waits until she can see her boy again. Her baby boy, Aiden Gabriel Oliver. Taken too soon, and now Jade is left completely and utterly alone.
/~/
They say Jade Oliver was a bright woman, always helping those in need. They say she had eyes that could brighten anyone's day. They say they had never seen her happier before when they noticed her baby bump. They say the light in her eyes faded when she held her cold and lifeless stillborn in her hands. They say she cut her hair off to imagine what her son's hair would've looked like, or something close to that. They say you could hear her rocking in her rocking chair reading stories to ghosts if you passed by her house. They say this, they say that, people make up rumors, and people make up lies.
The only thing for sure is that Jade Oliver's heart died the day her son Aiden's did.
(she was like a zombie, walking around aimlessly with no where left to go. She was the one left behind.)
A/N- depressing, dark, but is that really surprising coming from me?
This is a little continuation of my story Cat's Cradle following Jade's storyline. I hope you liked it :)
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The quote at the top is from orphan!
Review please ~
(no beta, excuse mistakes)
review please