So, my very first Mass Effect story. I apologize ahead of time for any OOCness in these characters because I'm not quite sure how to write them. Please forgive me, and if you could, give me some feedback and let me know if I'm capturing these characters personalities or not.

Now for some basic information on my Shepard:

Audrey Shepard. Earthborn. Sole Survivor. Soldier. Paragade.

Romanced Garrus and likes all her crewmembers.

There will be AU moments, so please excuse the differences!

And enjoy!

Prompt taken from dialogue between Shepard and EDI in ME3:

Shepard: How's our newest crewmember adjusting to the ship, EDI?

EDI: He appears not to understand the human custom of separate-sex restroom facilities. I am attempting to enlighten him. I will update you if there is positive progress.

Shepard: Uh...how about you just update me if he doesn't get the message?

EDI: Very well.

Um...This Is The Women's Bathroom

...\~/...

Garrus had been after her about shirking her duties so she could play the addictive game, Galaxy of Fantasy, which she found out could be played through her GamerPad now rather than just on a terminal. She was a level two hundred and sixty-seven krogan warrior who kicked butt and took names, and unfortunately her turian friend didn't seem to understand her need to play excessively. And there was only one place on the Normandy Shepard was safe: the women's bathroom. With the occasional female worker coming in to do their business and sometimes asking Shepard why they could hear the sound of slashing and screaming in her stall, Shepard was pretty much left alone to do what she did best.

Shepard gave a groan of despair as she watched her krogan warrior die before her...again. Damn drell mages, always getting in the way. So engrossed in her game, she didn't hear the bathroom door hiss open and one of the stall door's shut and lock. Come on, come on, come on, krogan warrior! You can do it! You can kill all those drell mages! Wait... A yagh Ultralord? No! Way! Immediately after encountering the yagh in her game, her warrior died. Shepard hung her head in shame. She sucked at this game...

And then something stopped her and caused her to look up.

A sigh of relief from the person in the other stall. A man's sigh of relief.

And judging from the way it sounded, it could only be one person.

Shepard turned her head slowly to the left, eyes narrowed. "Javik?"

"Yes, Commander?" His voice was as usual, low and accented with no signs of sheepishness despite the fact that Shepard had caught him in the women's bathroom.

"Um...this is the women's bathroom," she stated simply.

"I am aware of that, Commander."

"Then why are you in here?"

"I prefer it to the men's."

"Why?"

"The aroma in the men's lavatory is foul."

Shepard paused, considering his answer, and shrugged. "Okay." And went back to her game.

EDI had mentioned Javik's confusion of separate-sex bathrooms and it seemed he had yet to grasp the concept. Shepard had to wonder what Prothean bathrooms were like and if they didn't have separate ones for different genders. Actually, what did a female Prothean look like? Shepard pondered over that for a moment, but quickly pushed the thought to the back of her mind when she heard the clashing of swords and battle cries coming from her GamerPad.

"What is it you are doing?" Javik asks, his voice echoing throughout the bathroom.

By this time, Shepard was biting her tongue in concentration. "Killing the evil Yagh Ultralord, and...I'm... Got it! And now I'm going inside the Crystal Caverns of Corgin and...dying of flying arrows. While being burned alive from those stupid, idiotic fire shoot things. Ugh, I am so done!"

"Are you playing with that contraption again?"

"If by contraption you mean GamerPad, then yes, I am. And don't tell Garrus. He'll scold me, take it away, and...I'll die."

"You'll die if you are unable to play on your...what was it, GamerPad?"

"Yes. From withdrawal."

"I was unaware that it could be so addictive. In my cycle, Protheans never had the time to waste time on things so trivial."

"In your cycle, it sounded like Protheans never had fun."

"You are mistaken, Commander."

"Oh really? Please enlighten me."

"We found pleasure in hunting the primitives for food. A favorite of my people was fried hanar."

Shepard was quiet for a moment, watching as her krogan warrior used his crossbow to bring down a running pyjak. Then, she asked absentmindedly, "Is fried hanar good? I always wondered if it tasted like calamari, and I love calamari."

"As I said, it was a favorite."

"Mmm. After this war, if there's a shortage on squid..."

"What is squid?"

"Deliciousness, but only when fried." Another pause. "Did you ever eat turian? Asari? Salarian?"

"I did. Turians were very difficult to eat because of the plating and were gristly, and it tended to be very bitter. Asari have a rich taste, almost too rich. Salarian...they were perfect."

"Perfect, huh?"

"Not too rich, not too bitter, and their livers... Too bad that salarian is gone. He would have made a fine meal."

"No offense, Javik, but I probably would've attacked you if you went after Mordin with the intent to eat him."

"And I would have fought for my meal."

If someone were to walk in on them right now, that someone would be ultimately confused on why Shepard and Javik were having the most casual conversation, especially since Javik was in the wrong bathroom. In all honesty, Shepard wasn't in the least bit bothered that the Prothean was here. It was rare that he would talk with her about things other than the war, the Reapers, or how his people used to treat other species, and she actually liked it. She knew the alien had some sort of a sense of humor underneath that cold, distant exterior, and she wanted nothing more than to make him laugh or at least smile. And for some reason, she wanted him to ask questions about her people. So many were always questioning him about the Protheans that she wondered if he was curious about what other species were like.

"Commander, I have heard you were born in a mirage."

"Oh, ah, no. I lived in Las Vegas growing up. You know, the Entertainment Capitol of the Galaxy?"

"Then why is it called a mirage?"

"Vegas is surrounded by nothing but desert, the Mojave desert. When the city was first forming, travelers would see nothing but desert and then suddenly come up to Vegas. They thought it was some kind of mirage and people started referring it as the 'Mirage of the Mojave'. It's not really called that anymore."

"Are you a proud citizen of this Las Vegas?"

"Yes. And if I live to see the aftermath of this war, Vegas is going to be the first place I go to." She sighed happily. "I can't wait, either. It's been a long time since I've been there."

After a pause in their conversation, Javik said the most unexpected thing. "I would like to visit this Las Vegas of yours."

"Ah, ha!" Shepard gave a chuckle, shaking her head. "I don't mean to be rude, but I don't see you walking through a place like Vegas. It's... Did you like the Silversun Strip?"

"Not particularly. I thought it was too flamboyant and crowded. If the Reapers were to attack, there would have been no escape routes."

"Well, Vegas does have a lot of exits, but when it comes to lights and stuff, it's ten times worse than Silversun."

"You must have felt at home on Silversun, then."

"Well...no, actually." Shepard gave another sigh. "The lights on Silversun were too...I don't know, dark? They seemed to blur together, and to be honest, made me a little sad." By this time, she had saved her game and had turned off her GamerPad, flipping it in her hands so she could keep herself busy. "It felt like some kind of knock-off of my real home and when I stood there and looked up at those lights, it was nothing like Vegas." Her hands tightened around her device. "And it made me mad, seeing all those people. I understand the importance of shore leave, and my crew deserves to go out and have fun, relax. They deserve the break, but all those other people, they act like nothing else is going on, like the war isn't really happening and it just pisses me off. What did they do to deserve that break?"

Javik hummed in agreement. "I can understand. I was...perturbed at how nonchalant the primitives were acting on the Presidium."

"Don't worry; it can perturb anybody."

She was enjoying this conversation with him, she really was. She liked how he asked her Las Vegas, the topic being one of the few she loved talking about. Shepard imagined him walking along the streets of The Strip, her streets, and he had a neutral look on his face, the same expression he used for everything else. He was hard to read, and Shepard never could tell what he was thinking, but she appreciated his need to express whatever he was thinking with words. Even if that little trait of his bothered everyone else. In a way, Javik was the one that kept in her grounded. Every time she heard someone say they might win this war, that if a Reaper could easily be taken down by a Thresher Maw, then how hard could it be for organics to take one down? True, it felt good hearing people have hope, but Javik was always there to remind her that there could be a chance they wouldn't win this war, that Reapers were dangerous and ruthless and didn't discriminate. Hearing Javik speak his pessimistic views, it only fueled her desire to prove him wrong.

"Javik, I just want to say I'm sorry," Shepard said quietly.

"What is the need for your apology?"

Shepard replied, "You were born during a war, left that war in a stasis pod, and woke up to another one. What you called home has changed and you're now surrounded by what were once primitives are now the leading species of the galaxy. You've never had the chance to stand up and just breathe. You've experienced nothing but war and the Reapers. I... You're important to be now, Javik. You've become a friend, a comrade, and somewhat of a confidant. I trust you to watch my six, and I promise to watch yours. I...promise to destroy the Reapers and give you that chance to breathe."

There was a silence between them, a comfortable quietness that allowed them to listen to the hums of the Normandy's machines, a pair of crewmen laughing outside on their way to the crew quarters, and the hissing of the bathroom door. Both Shepard and Javik heard a woman curse softly at the sight of both stalls being occupied and mumble to herself that she really didn't need to go in the first place.

Once the bathroom door closed, Shepard heard Javik give his answer. "Thank you, Commander. And I hope to return you to your city, in return."

"Thanks." Shepard shifted on the back of the toilet, her boots sitting on the toilet seat. "Okay, so what exactly are you doing over there? Are you sittin' on the toilet doin' your business? Are you just standin' over there, leanin' up against the stall wall? What?"

"I am standing here, listening to you."

"Gotcha," Shepard said, drawing out the vowels. "So..." Ugh, she made it awkward after their bonding moment. "How about this weather?"

"We are on a ship, Commander. There is no weather."

"I know. It's just kind of my go-to question to diffuse awkwardness."

Shepard heard the lock on his stall door click, the groan of the hinges filling the bathroom with sound. She stepped off the toilet, exiting her own stall. Javik stood at the sinks, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His four, yellow eyes were narrowed, his lips set in a deep frown. As always, he was unreadable, emotionless. Shepard flicked her eyes in the direction of the door, hoping no one would walk in. She could name a few women who would not be pleased with a male alien being in the women's lavatory (i.e. Ashley...). Shepard inched towards the door, the hissing sound filling her ears, and she checked the halls for women. Before she could turn towards Javik, the Prothean rushed past her.

"Farewell, Commander," he said quickly before entering the elevator.

"Bye! Nice talking to you! We'll have to- And he's gone."

"Shepard," a voice said behind her. "Was that...Javik that just came out of the women's bathroom?"

Whipping around, she spotted Ashley standing in the doorway of the Starboard Observation Deck. Shepard waved her hand at Ashley dismissively. "Nah, that was a different Prothean."

"Shepard... There are no other Protheans."

"Oh. Well... How about this weather?"