Approximate Word Count 1,900
2013;
Disposable Copy
'Superman's Forbidden Room' (All-Star Superman Number Two) Lois's Birthday Surprise?
by
Mark Meredith
Kent, Kal-El, Superman took Lois Lane in Lois Lane's car with Lois Lane's heater on to the Fortress of Solitude and the Superman robots welcomed Mr. Kent Kal-El, coming to the front to meet, Kent, there. Kent, showed Lois Lane the armory where, Kent, kept some of the most deadliest weapons in the universe, weapons, that could even hurt, Kent, like the Kryptonite Laser that, Kent, kept floating above a pedestal, like, some other weapons, Kent, had isolated there in antigravity. Now, Grant Morrison is a writer who writes some pretty strange science-fiction concepts. In the storyline Grant Morrison is trying to make Superman comics the way they were in the 60's when Superman comic books had the far-out sci-fi ideas that only the mind of a child could believe in and have faith in, being a wide-eyed kid, full of wonder.
Grant Morrison is revamping and retelling stories that could have only happened in the 1950's such as Lois Lane getting powers or like Kal-El, Kent, testing, Kent's, Super-Strength against Atlas and Samson; Kent, versus El's Super-man pal Jimmy Olson and such. Kent, asked Lois Lane if Lois Lane wanted to see, Kent's, Time Telescope, that can see short message holographs from future Supermen that are descendants of, Kent. Lois Lane, being a reporter, asked, Kent, if, Kent, was O.K, because of Kent's El's going so close to the 6,000 degree sun. Kent, paused, turning away from Lois Lane at the portal to the next room, lying to Lois Lane, pausing emotionally, knowing about Kent's El's own death coming.
Kent changed the subject, not ready to tell Lois Lane at that point. Kent, showed Lois Lane a holograph of Kal Kent the Man of Steel of Tomorrow, and said that, Kent, couldn't really understand what the future Supermen were talking about. There was a garbled message about how Kent the Man of Steel of Tomorrow had gone forward in time to fight the Tyrant Sun, Solaris in the year 500,000 with the other Supermen. Kent showed Lois Lane, Kent's, alien, pet, baby Sun Eater creature, which, Kent, fed tiny stars.
Lois Lane saw a hallway with a red glow lighting it. Lois Lane walked down it to a door that was wide open where the red glow was coming from. Pale blue mist was coming out from inside the doorway. When Lois Lane looked inside the door, she found what was illuminating the short hallway, reddish screen with Lois Lane's anatomy on it.
There were three others with Lois Lane's nervous system, but also Lois Lane's skeletal structure, hair and skin measurements. A Super Robot was studying Lois Lane's DNA and distilling a formula! Kent, told Lois Lane that Lois Lane could go into any room in Fortress but that one. Kent then changed the subject and asked Lois Lane if Lois Lane would like to see, Kent's, zoo for endangered aliens.
As, Kent, and Lois Lane walked away, Kent, told the Super Robot to report to get himself repaired for leaving the door open.
Kent and Lois Lane had dinner aboard the Titanic, which, Kent, raised back around 1981 and put, in a chamber of Fortress. Kent, prepared the same menu that they had served on the Titanic. Kent, wore a hooded cloak which was traditional formal wear from the Fourth Age of Krypton and told Lois Lane that, Kent, had sewn it, Kal-El's, self. Kent, also said that, Kent's, curiosity and creativity had been tripled during, Kent's, Kal-El, Superman trip to the sun.
Tomorrow was Lois Lane's birthday and suddenly Lois Lane began becoming a little bit paranoid that, Kent would play a birthday prank surprise on Lois Lane. Lois Lane started also to get paranoid of, Kent, lying to Lois Lane because, Kent, used to lie to Lois Lane that, Kent, was Superman. Lois Lane thought that, Kent, was acting strangely recently. Lois Lane was wondering why, Kent, was taking Lois Lane to spend a day at Fortress one day before Lois Lane's birthday.
For the first time Lois Lane felt like Lois Lane could see their weird relationship in terms of black and white and not shades of gray. Lois Lane didn't like it all so Lois Lane left the dinner table. Lois Lane kept wondering if all this was tied in to, Kent, going back in and out of that spooky room. What if, Kent's, boosted super intellect was changing, Kent?!
What if that alien had brought Lois Lane to, Kent's, Fortress as a pet just for the purpose of dissecting in that scary room tonight?! Kent, went to the 'Telescope room to think aloud to, Kent's, self-revealing the reason, Kent, was hiding something. Kent, said to, Kent's, self, "How can I spoil her birthday with the news that I'm dying?" Kent, dropped, Kent's, glasses in the 'Telescope room and walked through the armory room.
Lois Lane felt like Lois Lane needed a weapon to protect Lois Lane's self from, Kent. Kent walked towards the exit of the baby Sun-Eater room as Lois Lane ran from Lois Lane's room to the armory. Lois Lane heard a static-Y voice from the 'Telescope room. Lois Lane said curiously, "Hello? Kal Kent?"
It was the Unknown Soldier Superman from 4500 A.D. with shredded, burnt, cape and his head and hands covered with bandages. The Unknown Super Soldier from 4500 said for Lois Lane to ask two questions. Lois Lane wanted to know, "Will, Superman and I ever marry and have children? I need to know."
The Superman Soldier answered, the horrible Hz ox x t tat answer is before you.
Lois Lane asked, "Wait! What do you mean?"
Before Lois Lane could get an answer for Lois Lane's question, two robot Supermen heard Lois Lane's fear in Lois Lane's voice and came out of a recess in the wall saying, "Something wrong, Miss?" and the other said, WOULD you like to come with us to Superman?
Lois Lane went back to the portal to the armory, touching the bare wall next to it, which activated it to close shut on the Super Robots as Lois Lane said, "Gotcha!" trapping them in the 'Telescope room. Was Kent's El's and Lois Lane's child going to be a horrible mutation that needs to cover his mutated skin from the eyes of others? Thoughts like this ran through Lois Lane's journalistic mind as Lois Lane ran to the pedestal that had the Kryptonite Laser. Lois Lane grabbed the Kryptonite Laser and ran to the entrance of the 'Eater alien baby's room and yelled at the closed D.N.A. experiment room, Superman!
What if, Kent, wanted to do D.N.A. experiments on Lois Lane in that room and create a new race of half human, half Kryptonian-mutant Supermen?! Lois Lane ran over to face the short hallway D.N.A. lab door and said quietly, Superman? Lois Lane walked up closer with the gun at the ready, aiming it at the door and yelled angrily to get, Kent's, attention, Superman! Lois Lane then said quietly, "Are you there?" as the sliding door slid upwards-revealing Kent's booted feet.
Lois Lane was so scared about what would happen next that Lois Lane shot the 'Laser before Lois Lane could see, Kent's, face, the ray-gun discharging Kryptonite energy as the gun jerked in Lois Lane's hands, Lois Lane yelling, "Aaaaaaa!"
Lois Lane shot, Kent, in the chest and, Kent, stood there afterward with green smoke coming off, Kent's, Superman S. Kent stood aback staggered with shock, touching the spot on, Kent's, chest where, Kent, was shot, saying only, ow.
Lois Lane: immediately was feeling bad for Lane's extreme reaction blurted out, Superman! Oh, my God! What have I done?
Kent, having being immune to Green-Kryptonite since the particular radioactivity of the sun's energy over-powered Clark's Superman's cells, Kent, said, "Interesting way to discover I've become immune to Green-Kryptonite radiation. Tickles!" Kent, gently took the gun from out Lois Lane's hands, saying, "Mind if I just take that? Robot Seven had a data processing problem." Kent's, head smoking with Green-Kryptonite energy, Kent, continued with, Kent's, hand on Lois Lane's shoulder, "He left the lab door open while I was synthesizing some alien chemicals. They can cause visual distortions and extreme Paranoid reactions."
Kent's, top of his head stopped smoking as Lois Lane said, "But that awful room with the dissecting machine."
Lois Lane was speaking about a device Lois Lane saw in the back of that experimentation room as, Kent, walked Lois Lane into the room, showing Lois Lane what, Kent, had been doing in that room all along saying, Lois Lane, shh. What you saw was a Super Sewing machine. It uses diamond tipped needles to weave light, indestructible thread. Sorry I kept disappearing, but I wanted to make your birthday present, and, at six billion letters, it takes even me a long time to read and memorize an entire DNA code.
Lois Lane closed Lois Lane's eyes to massage Lois Lane's brow muscles for a second saying, "What are you talking about?"
Lois Lane, with Lois Lane's hand brushed Lois Lane's hair from Lois Lane's eyes as, Kent, explained, "You almost spoiled my surprise, but I guess you can come in now". Lois Lane reached up with Lois Lane's other hand as if to cover Lois Lane's mouth in shame of what she had almost done, Kent, saying, "These new Exo-Genes I've been making allow a human being to duplicate my Powers for 24 hours." Kent, walked over to a refrigerating mechanism and pulled out a chemical filled test-tube and said, I was trying to keep it a secret, like, ah, like that secret identity of mine. [Nevertheless], this is for you.
Kent put the test tube that Superman had corked down earlier down on a table and held up a Super-Woman costume, states Happy Birthday, Lois Lane.
That was the end of issue two.
Next ISSUE ALL-STAR SUPERMAN # THREE "SWEET DREAMS,
SUPER-WOMAN"
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