Sacrifice

by T. F. Crosby

Continuation of The Price. It was so easy now and he hated himself for it. But he promised himself that as long as he drew breath, he would continue to fight. No matter the cost.

This is a continuation of "The Price." I had no intention of writing it and I really didn't want to. I tried working on other stuff, but it wouldn't leave me alone. So, here it is.

Inspired music: The Soldier's Song by Demon Hunter and We Need Each Other by Sanctus Real

Warnings: character death

For the men and women of our Armed Forces who choose to put their lives on the line for us so we can sleep in peace at night. Thank you for serving.

-xxx-

Sacrifice

"You can bet that I stand ready when a wolf growls at the door. Hey, I'm solid. Hey, I'm steady. Hey, I'm true down to the core. And I will always do my duty, no matter what the price. I've counted up the cost, I know the sacrifice. Oh, and I don't want to die for you; but if dyin's after me, I'll bear that cross with honor, 'cause freedom don't come free…."

—from "American Soldier by Toby Keith

Every terra I go to, I find myself traipsing through a maze of dead bodies; the insignias of Sky Knights and Talons alike bloodied by energy blasts that have ripped through flimsy armor. Some I know, most I don't. My squadron's been fortunate, so far. We haven't lost anyone. But with the way things are going, that's likely to change. I can't believe we all fell for it. Some stupid "oracle" saying we're gonna win. What a load of crap. That's nothing more than fortune telling, which is crap as well. Nobody knows the future. And even if we did, what makes us think that we could change it if we didn't like it. I wonder if it wasn't all in his head. I can't say much about it. He doesn't believe it anymore, either.

-xxx-

"I feel like an idiot, Finn," Aerrow said as the two sat outside their tent at their camp.

"Why's that?" Finn asked.

"The oracle didn't actually say we were gonna win. I saw us enslaved by Cyclonis and when I released her, all she said was that a new path was beginning."

"So it never said anything about who wins or loses."

"Well, no."

"So Cyclonis can still take over Atmos?"

"Yeah."

"Ya know, Aerrow. This whole oracle thing's starting to sound like a load of crap to me."

"And the fact that she said that after I released her…."

"As if she had something to do with it."

"You're right, Finn," Aerrow said, looking at his friend. "It is a load of crap."

-xxx-

Aerrow's becoming more and more hardened as the war progresses. The Aerrow I know is slowly disappearing. I'm afraid that that Aerrow will disappear all together and I'll never find him again. He's building a prison within himself. It's becoming difficult to talk to him. He rarely listens to Piper. I know he's scared, but he won't admit it.

Junko says it's becoming easier to kill and watch his friends die. I agree with him and both of us hate it, but that's the way it is. In war, you don't have time to grieve. Even Stork's forgone his paranoia and picked off his own, stepping well outside the Condor, his comfort zone, when needed in ground battle.

I don't use my crossbow much anymore. Arrows aren't as sufficient as they used to be. Energy rifles have become the norm now. We all carry them. Both sides have developed better energy bombs and missiles, not to mention mortars. A lot of civilians have been killed. The sight of dead chil—children sickens all of us, especially Dark Ace. He goes by Kalev now, although he won't say if it's his real name or not.

Cyclonis was stripped of here title and position a while back by her own Talons. And yet the war continues. I guess she wasn't the one in charge after all. I don't know where she is now, but I can't concern myself with that. It's not that I don't care; at least that's what I tell myself. Sometimes I wonder if I do care at all for my enemies. I become so angry when one of my comrades goes down. I want to rip apart whoever killed them. I struggle with hatred for the Cyclonians. It's the higher-ups I hate the most. I know I shouldn't hate those I fight against out here. They're fighting for what they believe is right and so am I. I wonder how many of those Talons know what's going to happen to them if they come out victorious.

Those who fight for the power-mad are the ones who lose the most. They believe they'll be greatly rewarded for their services; but…they just end up broken and forgotten, cast aside by those they thought held them in high favor; that cared for them; all those things that leaders should do and feel for their people. But when it comes to power-lust, it's the people who so willingly serve under them that suffer the most. It's no different for them than it is for the civilians. Sure, there are those who are in the favor of those power-crazed receiving great wealth, everything they could possibly want while the rest of their people suffer; but eventually, they fall too. One little slip and the power-crazed leaders cast them aside as well, expendable pawns in a sick and twisted game. What's that saying? Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. I guess it really isn't just a saying. Why are those types of people even allowed to exist? Kalev tells me I know why. Yes, I do. But does that mean I have to accept it? I suppose it would be stupid on my part if I didn't. It's not like it's going to go away if I don't.

Piper told me something she had heard a number of years ago that really struck me. I can't remember who she said said it, but it's something I've kept with me ever since. "You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give." I said it to Aerrow, but I'm not sure if he listened.

I get a lot of strange looks from him. I'm not exactly sure what they're for. He's keeping too much inside. He doesn't give Piper, Junko or Stork those looks. Kalev said it's because he's afraid of losing me. I guess he's not afraid of losing the others. He doesn't take Radarr anywhere with him anymore. Radarr stays with Stork.

We're now the only squadron that hasn't had a casualty. Most of the Rex Guardians are gone. They dropped that whole "Code" thing at the beginning of the war; otherwise they'd all have been dead a long time ago. And they knew it. The Third Degree Burners, Sub Zeroes, Rebel Ducks, they've all lost squad mates. Every squadron has, except us. Starling has a new squadron. They had their first casualty last month. The Red Eagles have been completely wiped out. They were all killed, along with others, on their home terra of Atmosia. It was a decisive victory for Cyclonia. However, Carver didn't go down easy. For him, it was redemption for what he had done.

With every battle, with every casualty, every time I see the lifeless bodies of civilians, every time one of my friends takes his last breath, my hatred builds. Sometimes I feel like I could kill every last Talon. But Kalev keeps telling me not to give in to my hatred. He's been there. He keeps telling me hatred's never done any good for anyone. He knows because he's been there. This is the first time I've really struggled with hate.

I'm so tired. There are times when I can barely lift my head. But then I catch a glimpse of my friends or I see these innocent little kids caught in the middle of something they don't understand and it gives me the strength to go on. I can't fathom how a child can dwell in all this and still smile. We were on Terra Livonia a while back We spent some time away from fighting and played with the kids. I didn't want to leave. Everyone was having fun. It was so peaceful; I didn't want it to end. Even Aerrow was laughing and smiling. But the war came to them, too. When the fighting finally ceased, there were hundreds of casualties. Not just Sky Knights and Talons, but civilians as well. We walked through the maze of bodies looking for anyone who might still be alive. I felt sick to my stomach seeing all the kids, many of whom we had just been playing games with. I saw Kalev carrying a five year old boy in his arms to the medivac. It was the little boy that had been hanging all over him while we played games with the kids. The boy survived. I believe Kalev said his name's Rayin. I wanted to stay and help in every way I could, but at the same time I wanted to get away from there as fast as I could.

-xxx-

Finn sat on his skimmer, rifle on his back. He sat at the edge of the fields where all the bodies once lay. The bodies were gone, but the smell of blood, of death, still lingered.

"I can't even cry anymore, Piper." He didn't have to look to see who it was coming up behind him. He knew her footsteps.

"I don't think any of us can," she replied.

"So, what's the count?"

"I didn't ask." She sighed. "I really don't want to know."

Another set of footsteps made their way towards him. "Hey, Stork." He knew all of their footsteps.

"We're heading out," the Merb said, flatly. "There's nothing more we can do here."

"Any news on the reserve team?" Finn asked.

"Last transmission said Tranqua was under attack." Stork had become more sober in his speech and even in his tone.

-xxx-

While injuries on Tranqua were numerous there were no casualties. Lynn's their Sky Knight. She does a damn good job if you ask me. They've lost two, both in a battle on Zartacla. They were accompanied by Starling's squadron. Hamish is in Starling's squadron and one of his younger brothers is in Lynn's. (He's the one Snipe named "Digger." His name's Logan but everyone still calls him Digger.) Man, those two look exactly alike. They're just older and younger versions of each other. And they act alike, too. Piper says Garrett's a lot like me. Whatever….

I'm becoming more worried about Aerrow. I had a close call on Terra Barataria. We were so turned around in the bayous we had no idea which direction the gunfire was coming from. I got caught in some tree roots and ended up on my hands and knees. A few shots were fired at me. One grazed my face and another hit my left arm. Neither did much damage, but Aerrow freaked out. And his freaking out freaked me out. Damn, I'm glad Kalev was there; otherwise Aerrow would have totally lost it. Your leader is supposed to be the strong one, made of steel; an example to the rest. But sometimes, they're the first one's to break. My worry for Aerrow keeps growing. I watch him with concern for his mental health. I know Piper's worried too. Junko and Stork can see it. Kalev told me he wasn't sure if Aerrow could handle one of us being killed. The more I think about what he said, the more I believe he was talking mostly about me. I'm not sure why.

-xxx-

A rogue gunman crept cautiously behind the old barricade. Two of the Storm Hawks were a mere twenty feet away and the leader Aerrow was in perfect range. It was the cleanest shot he would have to take down the Sky Knight. He could see the blond, but unlike his leader, he had put himself in such a position he would be nearly impossible to hit.

The foxhole wasn't as deep as it should be, but it would have to do.

"Get over here, Aerrow," Finn said in a whisper.

"We did a full sweep of this place," replied Aerrow. "No one's out here."

"Kalev's still looking around," Finn hissed. "We don't know if it's completely clear yet. There could be mercenaries or rogues out here."

Aerrow growled. He was fed up with this terra and he wanted to get moving. But Finn was right. The Sky Knight knelt down, putting himself out of range.

The gunman pulled his shot back and waited. He looked to his left, spotting a small rock. Perfect. That'll draw him out. He grabbed the rock….

The two Storm Hawks heard a soft thud.

"What was that?" Aerrow said, standing up.

"Somebody's out there," replied Finn.

"I'm gonna check it out."

"Aerrow, wait. Aerrow."

The Sky Knight cautiously crept out of the foxhole. He was still out of range for the gunman, but was about to put himself in perfect position. Before he could fire, Finn spotted the gunman. He rushed towards Aerrow, yelling. The gunman fired.

Finding no one alive, Kalev headed back for their makeshift camp. He did so cautiously, however. He may not have found anyone, but that didn't mean Finn and Aerrow hadn't. He made his way towards the barricade; he couldn't see Aerrow and Finn or the gunman. As he neared he heard Finn yell and then a gunshot. He took off running, hearing Aerrow yell. He saw the gunman stand, ready to fire on Aerrow. With his weapon ready, he fired on the gunman.

Aerrow fell to his knees beside his fatally wounded friend, now lying in a pool of blood. His chest and torso were saturated with the sticky liquid. The red life-fluid trickled from the corners of his mouth. Aerrow pulled Finn into his arms. The blond's eyes were half-closed and his breathing was labored. The Sky Knight placed his right hand on Finn's face, sobbing.

"Aerrow…."

The Sky Knight stared him in the eyes saying, "Why? Why, Finn?"

Finn smiled weakly. "I made a promise to myself…." He trailed off, coughing up blood. Aerrow pulled him closer. "That as long as I drew breath, I wouldn't let anything happen to you."

"Finn…." Aerrow breathed through his sobs.

"They need you," Finn said softly, coughing up more blood.

Aerrow rested his forehead on Finn's. "But I need you."

"I love you, Bro. Don't ever forget that," Finn said, closing his eyes.

"No…." Aerrow sobbed. "You can't leave me." He wrapped his arms around Finn. "I love you, Bro."

He could feel Finn's breathing becoming shallower; his life was fading away. Aerrow held him tighter, sobbing uncontrollably. As Finn took his final breath Aerrow lifted his head towards the heavens, screaming.

-xxx-

You're gone. You're dead. And it's all my fault! I put myself in that position and you're the one killed. It should've been me! Why, Finn? Why did you do it? That shot was meant for me! My mind's racing all the time. I'm always seeing you lying there…covered in blood. I want to help you. But there's nothing I can do!

We won, Finn. We won. So why do I feel like I've lost!

I cry myself to sleep. I cry in my sleep. Piper…Piper tries to comfort me, but I won't let her. I keep pushing everyone away. I push Piper away. I push Junko and Stork away.

It's funny, Finn. I can push them away, but Kalev…he won't let me push him away. He's always there. He won't back down. I just want to curl up and disappear but he won't let me.

I break down every night, sobbing. I can't stop crying, Finn. I don't want to live anymore. I can't go on anymore. I can't go on without you, Finn! I can't go on without my brother!

Aerrow stood up from his desk, clenching his teeth. In a fit of rage, he picked up his journal and threw it across his room, knocking over a lamp. He began throwing things around his room wildly, nearly hitting an unnoticed Piper who had been standing in the doorway.

Kalev burst in, grabbing hold of a wild Aerrow. "Aerrow," he said in a stern and commanding voice. "Stop."

The Sky Knight continued to thrash around, but even now, the once Talon commander's hold was too strong. Aerrow fell to his knees, sobbing. Kalev sat on his knees, holding the despondent twenty-one year old. Finn's death had nearly destroyed him. He buried his face into Kalev's arm.

"I want him back," Aerrow sobbed.

"I know," Kalev replied, softly.

"It's my fault. It should've been me."

"Now, I know Finn would disagree with that." Aerrow's sobs slowly began to subside. "You can blame yourself all you want, but that won't change anything." Kalev paused. "I'm not going to let you destroy yourself."

"Finn taught me not to take anything for granted," Aerrow said, choking back tears. "Especially not those you love and the time you have together."

"I believe Finn had a greater understanding of the profound and what's most important than any of us."

"Why am I like this? What's wrong with me?"

"There's nothing wrong with you, Aerrow," Kalev said gently, trying not cry himself. "In war you don't have time to grieve. All of it's catching up with you."

Aerrow didn't respond. He lay quietly in Kalev's arms, closing his eyes; tears were still streaming down his cheeks. Kalev looked up at the doorway. Piper was leaning against the frame, watching them. He studied her face for a moment and then turned back to Aerrow.

"She loves you," said Kalev.

Aerrow opened his eyes. He lifted his head slightly and looked at Piper.

"I love you, Piper," he said, softly.

-xxx-

Well, Finn, it's been almost six years now. I can't believe it's been that long. Everyone's doing great and we all have our own families now. We all live close to each other, to the point of living on the same street. Most of the squad work that needs to be done (missions and such) is left to our reserve team allowing us to spend time with our families, though I do believe two certain some ones on our reserve team are thinking of having one of their own. Even Kalev has one of his own. Man, did he have a few surprises for the rest of us. Remember how you kept cracking those jokes about how he was married and to who? Well, you're not gonna believe this, but, uh…you were actually right. You were a few years short on how long, but you were pretty much on target. And remember those two little boys we met on Terra Odessa? And how you kept going on about how they looked like miniature versions of Kalev…? Kalev's now sporting a mustache and goatee. He can work it. I on the other hand….I can't believe the man's forty and doesn't have a speck of gray. I search for gray hairs on him but can never find any.

Although he's not as paranoid as he used to be, having kids hasn't calmed Stork too much. (His wife's been keeping a journal on all the crazy things he does that involve the kids. I've read it. It's quite funny.) He may not obsess over his personal well-being, but his kids are going to be in for a real ride. Of course, the fact he even has kids is a miracle.

Junko's become a master storyteller—and a kid magnet. They hang all over him. He has two of his own now and the oldest is just like his dad. His wife's probably the sweetest lady, and Wallop, you'll ever meet. Tynki visits often. He's a teenager now and is working hard towards becoming a Sky Knight. He's a lot like his uncle…cousin…whatever.

Aerrow looked up from his desk and over at the bed. A small redheaded, green-eyed boy of four was jumping on the bed.

"Finn….Stop jumping on the bed," he said to his son. "You'll end up jumping on Radarr."

The boy stopped jumping and sat on his knees in front of the snoozing rabbit-dog. "Yes, Daddy," he replied.

Radarr's getting up there in age, but he's still going strong. At least as strong as he can with a four year old and two eighteen month olds running around. Not to mention everyone else's kids. But he seems to be taking it in stride.

Little Finn's growing like a weed. Kalev insists that he's my clone rather than my offspring, though he does act a lot like you. (Kalev also likes to razz me about not wasting any time having kids. [Finn was born a year after Piper and I were married. Of course, I shoot back with "Neither did you.") The twins are growing just as fast. Sophie looks just like her mother and I get the feeling the similarities aren't going to end there. Jonah, on the other hand, is just like his brother, which means he looks like me. Believe it or not, we're expecting again. The twins will be two by the time this one's born. Kalev says it's going to be a boy. I can't argue. He's been right with all of them, as in not just mine. Piper and I couldn't be happier. (I was positive she was going to say "no" when I asked her to marry me, but Kalev knocked me upside the head enough times…Piper would laugh. She knew I was going to ask, but I think she really enjoyed watching Kalev smack me upside the head.) There's only one thing that could make it better, Finn.

My family and friends are the only things that keep me sane, Bro, and keep me going. I never would've made it through your death without them, especially not without Kalev and Piper.

He looked back at his son and smiled broadly. The boy was now sitting quietly with Radarr in his lap.

"Aerrow! It's almost time for dinner!" Piper called out. "Everyone's starting to arrive!"

"I'll be there in a few!" he called back.

The war with Cyclonia, which is now referred to as the World War, has come to an end. The Talons have been defeated. I still don't know what really happened to Cyclonis. There are so many rumors it's hard to discern the truth from the rumors. I'm sure at some point we'll all know the truth.

He closed his journal and laid the pen on the desk. As he walked towards the bed he stopped briefly to look out the window. A blue-merle fox darted across the side yard and out into the field. Aerrow smiled.

"Come on, junior," he said, picking up Finn. "It's time for dinner." Radarr yawned, stretching out his limbs. "Come on, buddy." Aerrow stretched out his arm for the blue rabbit-dog to climb up onto his favorite perch—Aerrow's shoulder.

"Daddy?"

"What is it, Squeaker?" Aerrow said, kissing the boy on the forehead.

"Will I ever get to see Uncka Finn?"

"You will someday, baby. You will someday."

-xxx-

There's a song that Finn played for us before the war. It was on some album that he had, and though I can't remember the artist, I do remember the song. It's called "The Soldier's Song" and I believe it's become Finn's song. At the end of the song, before the final chorus, it says, "Turn over the tables and watch them run. You'll be the weapon they can't outgun." Finn was more than a soldier in a physical war. I hope I can be what he was. I vow to carry on his legacy.

The war with Cyclonia may be over, but Atmos isn't free from war. Battles continue to rage in parts of the world. But like Finn, as long as I draw breath, I will continue to fight for what I believe is right. I am ready to die for what I believe in.

He once told me something that Piper told him. "You have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give."

I know you didn't think I was listening, Finn. But I was.

Fin

"Greater love hath no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friend."

John 15:13

-xxx-

I didn't think I'd get through this. Writing it, then typing it, then having to edit. I had to stop numerous times as I went through it. Even so, I'm glad I wrote it. It was tough, though.

For anyone that's curious, it was Eleanor Roosevelt who said, "We have to accept whatever comes, and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best you have to give." This and Juhn 15:13 is the essence of this story.

Thanks for reading.