Kim POV
There is a thing that people say. About God. They say that god won't give you more than you can handle. But if he does, he will give you a concrete angle.
Well that saying is a bunch of bullshit.
I am lying here, on the grass. Staring up at the sun, with tears dried upon my face. I looked back at the memories. I don't know how I am alive. I am not supposed to be. I should be gone by now. That is what everyone else says, anyway. I randomly laugh. A few months ago I was happy. Smiling. Who knew it would be the last time.
I am Kim Crawford, the girl everyone hates. I used to be loved, wanted. But that ended in a heartbeat. My life came crashing down, eating me alive. I am afraid. Afraid to live. It's hard to breathe the same air as everyone else. I am drowning, but there will be no rescue mission, I stare up at the clouds, recalling the last words my best friend said to me, before ditching me and leaving me all alone. He's gone.
He said to me, "'m sorry. I feel bad, but if I joined you, I would get bullied to. They hate you because you were mean to them, you changed. Good bye Kim."
"Changed? No. They hate me because I'm human. All is fun and games until you say or do one wrong thing, and they take it the wrong way."
And I ran. He's gone. He is really gone. I don't know what I did wrong. Grace said it was because I mad her mad, so she had to take my friends away. I guess it was revenge.
I just can't do this anymore. It's so difficult to go out and see everyone else smiling and having fun, while I'm never going to be that way again. Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend, and another and even more. I quit the dojo. Even Milton wouldn't be seen in public with me!
There is another saying. Friend ends with END. But family doesn't. So that means family last forever. Wrong again. My family died in a car crash 3 months ago. Ever since then, I lived alone, in an apartment. Luckily I had inherited a lot of money. But then someone robbed the bank, and stole my money. Now I have none, and I have to leave the apartment in a week. Its ok, I will be gone by then.
I looked up at the clouds. Filled with so many shapes, and shades of grey. How I wish I was up in the sky, leaving the hell behind me.
It all started with rumor, thanks to Grace. I don't understand what I did. I need someone to give me answers. No one deserves to go through this. But maybe I do, because obviously it happened to me, didn't it? Yup. It did. If I could have one wish, it would be to have never been born. Then everyone wouldn't have to put up with me. They don't deserve to have to bully me. I should be dead by now. Right?
I get up. I've been lying on school grounds for over one hour. I get my bag and start to walk home, but then I decide to say goodbye to Rudy. He is the only one that stuck with me, and is like a father to me. And I love him. It's now or never, so I decide today is my last day living. Thank the lord. I run to the dojo and see the guys there. When I enter they all stop and stare at me.
"What are you doing here, Crawford? You don't go to this dojo anymore," Jack snarled.
"Well, Brewer. I am just saying one last goodbye to Rudy, since he is the only one that will miss-" I've said too much, so I run into his office.
"Kim! What are you doing here?" He hugs me.
"I just wanted to say goodbye. So... bye."
"Bye? NO! Kim-" His eyes widens but I run off before he can say anything else. I run out the dojo and to my apartment. The last thing I hear was "Guys. Good job, you made her want to kill herself. What happened to Wasabi forever?"
I am in my home, leaving the door right open. I shuffle through drawers, until I find it. The gun.
Life isn't good to me, so why let it control me? This was meant to happen. God knows everything in our future. He must have wanted me to do this. So I will.
I hear yelling and screaming. I load the gun and aim it at my head. The guys and Rudy run in, with fear in their eyes.
"It's time," I whisper, and pull the trigger. As I fall down, I look at them and see them crying. I instantly regret it, but it is too late.
If only I knew the reason they left me was because Donna threatened to kill me. Well she got what she wished for. I am dead.
I was crying while writing this. I know it's not good, but I just found news today. You know Faith in "Take the Pain Away?" Well, she did those things to me because I was apparently mean to her. I don't know what I did, and I want to ask her. But I'm scared to. I don't know what to do. I'm sorry for being a human and making a mistake. But that was her idea of revenge? Well played. I guess. But I am not cruel enough to do that someone. And my friend Savannah (played Grace in the story) said she was going to do something, but didn't want to make HER cry. I cried a lot, so that just broke me down. I'm going through a lot, so I will be writing out of emotion.