A/N: Okay...this is what happens when they don't offer enough lunchtime activities at school. You put your demented ideas into writing. I'm warning you now that this story could cause severe mental trauma so read it at your own risk. Any other disclaimers? Oh yeah...I don't own any of the characters in this story...not even Jessica Jones...although I should thank her for adding some kind of obsession to my life so...thanks for introducing me to Final Fantasy Jess!

Once upon a time, (like a verrrrrrrrrry long time ago) there was a boy. Yes a boy. Not a girl or a monkey (although a monkey would be cute). A boy. His name was Shinra. And this is...

Shinra: HOLD IT! Stop talking about me like I'm dead!

Narrator: But...It was over ten thousand years ago.

Shinra: Yeah, you do have a point but let me tell the story.

Narrator: FINE!!!

Shinra: (clears throat) Listen...to my story

Tidus: HOLD ON JUST A SECOND THERE! That's MY line!

Shinra: But I'm smarter than you.

Tidus: You're just a kid

Shinra: I know. I've pointed that out several times before.

Tidus: Well stop stealing my lines!

Shinra: I already told you. I'm smarter than you so it's MY line.

Tidus: But...my game came FIRST!!!

Shinra: You act like a baby. I'm WAY more mature than you.

Tidus: BUT IT WAS MY LINE!!!

Shinra: I can't hear you!

Tidus: Auron! He's stealing my lines!!!

Auron: Quit crying!

Shinra: Anyways, Back to MY story in which Tidus has no part.

A long time ago, I was a part of a sphere hunting group called the Gullwings.

Rikku: Goooooo Gullwings!

Shinra: Ahem!

Rikku: sorry!

Anyway, as I was saying. The Gullwings traveled all over Spira hunting for what else? Monkeys? Nope. Spheres. As the smartest member of the group I was obviously the leader...sort of.

Brother: But I was leader!

Shinra: Technically yes but you weren't much of a leader...

Brother: I was GREAT leader!

Shinra: cough Phychotic cough cough Yeah a GREAT leader

Okay, so I wasn't the leader. I was in charge of monitoring the signals from the sphere waves and interpreting them and keeping Yuna's diary because she was too lazy to DO it!

Yuna: I was preoccupied!

Shinra: Yeah, looking for that whiner that I just finished arguing with

Yuna: You saw Tidus! Sure it wasn't Shuyin?

Shuyin: How DARE you compare me to that whiner???

Yuna: Well sorry! I don't know HOW I made the mistake when Tidus NEVER wanted to blow up Spira!

Shinra: Okay, trying to do this on the Celcius isn't a good idea. There are too many interruptions. But I'll try anyways. So one day I was trying to interpret the sphere waves from my many comspheres and I was having trouble doing it because of the interference from the Farplane.

Jessica Jones: The Farplane is cool!!!

Shinra: Yes it is but...STOP INTERUPPTING ME PEOPLE!!!

SILENCE

That's better. In order to read the sphere waves correctly, I had to disentangle the waves from the energy waves coming from the Farplane. It was no easy task. The energy coming from the Farplane was extremely strong and didn't dissipate as we got further from the Farplane. I eventually found the difference between their frequencies and was able to distinguish one from the other. But it got me to thinking, if this energy was so strong, what says we couldn't harness it and use it to power our Machina?

I wagered that since it eminated from the Farplane, this energy was the energy of people and plants that had once been living and were now dead. Since this was the energy of life with no holder, I decided to call it Lifestream. It was most likely what the Farplane was brimming with and what people became a part of when they died.

It would also hold true that if a spirit wasn't sent to the Farplane, the energy, or Lifestream, would get lost and never reach the Farplane and so that was where fiends came from. Yevon isn't entirely incorrect in thinking that a fiend is one who envies the living, but it isn't just that. Lifestream holds the thoughts and the essential being of the deceased. That is why you are able to see those who are lost when you visit the Farplane.

Lifestream is concentrated in the very heart of the Farplane where it flows throughout Spira like a river, giving new life to the Planet. Because it holds the souls of so many deceased, contact with it for an extended period of time could prove dangerous. It is my theory that one who was immersed in the Lifestream would receive so much of the knowledge of the deceased that it would overload their brain. They would lose themselves and become the spirits of the deceased inside one body. If they ever emerged again, they would be in a comatose state for the remainder of their lives, conscious of the world around them but in no way able to communicate with it.

After further study of this mysterious energy, I deduced that if Spira was ever in trouble, the Lifestream and the spirits who wanted nothing more than to protect Spira (most likely those who first inhabited Spira, We'll call them Ancients) would use the Lifestream to protect this planet.

It is also my theory that these beings that I have called Ancients, were the first to be able to use the Lifestream. They know how to harness its power and use it to their advantage. They have a special connection to the planet and can feel its pain and sadness. I do not believe that I have ever met or known of one in Spira, nor if they even existed. If they ever did, there may be descendants of these people living in Spira now. Because their blood has been thinned through marriages to ordinary human beings, their connection to the Planet is also weakened.

It could also be that Ancient blood cannot be thinned. IT may be a genetic trait passed down from generation to generation. This I cannot know. I wonder if they even still exist, or if they ever existed. I have a feeling that they could be extinct. Why have they not protected Spira from Sin, and Vegnagun? Could it be that they ARE extinct? Or could it be that it is not the will of the Planet for Human kind to be saved? Are we the enemy?

Just as Ancients, as I believe them to be, can harness the power of the lifestream, so can other humans. It is for this reason that Maester Mika, Maester Seymour, and Sir Auron, were able to retain their bodies after death and were able to remain in the land of the living. It is possible that these men had in them the blood of the Ancients coursing through their veins. However, no matter what the reason, they were able to harness the power of the Lifestream just as I wish to do.

And that is exactly what I did. After the Gullwings defeated Vegnagun and had broken up to head for home, I had nothing left to do and I'll be monkey's uncle if I was gonna stick around with Brother anymore. My IQ dropped sixteen points during my stay with the Gullwings and I wager it was due in part to the stupidity of Brother and the immense girlishness of Rikku and Yuna.

Nope, I left. I set up residence in Guadosalam where I could be near the Farplane.

Jessica Jones: I would have set up residence IN the Farplane!

Yes, well, that's you. I had reason to believe that to live in the Farplane when you were not dead could be mentally traumatizing.

Jessica Jones: Oh! Like what happened to Cloud!

Wait! We haven't gotten there yet!!!

Jessica Jones: Sorry

So like I was saying, I set up residence in Guadosalam so that I had easy access to the Farplane. Since LeBlanc had deserted her Chateau to go live closer to Nooj (shiver That is SO wrong!) I decided to make the place my research lab. I set up comspheres in the Farplane and developed several mechanisms to pick up and record the waves coming from the Lifestream. Then I set to work interpreting them to the best of my ability.

It was long and laborious work but I wanted to know how to use this energy so badly that I gave up communication to the outside world for the most part and I went months without sleep. Six months later I was able to interpret the energy and the signals coming from it. I was right. I t was the spirits of things once living. When things died, they went back to the planet that they were born from and became part of the lifestream.

Now that I knew what Lifestream was, I set to work trying to use its power. This too was a slow process and I had many failed experiments. Finally, I developed a way to pull the Lifestream straight from the heart of the Farplane. Success at last! Now only to harness it on a larger scale. I figured the best way to do this was to build factories throughout Spira. These factories would serve as electrical power plants to furnish all of Spira with electricity. Thus Shinra Inc. was born!

Once I had secured leave to build the factories it was all downhill from there. Every city in Spira became like Bevelle. Powered by the power of the Lifestream they were able to develop new transportation units, and light their houses at night. Spira underwent an electrical revolution and Shinra Inc. became the biggest corporation in all of Spira. It was bigger than Yevon ever was. Now as my life progressed I saw Spira become great and powerful. But as all of us must, my time came to become part of the Lifestream.

Time passed quickly in the time I was in the Lifestream and I saw many things happen in Spira. I watched my company grow and thrive and then eventually, just as it happened to Yevon, become corrupt. One of my descendants used his power as President of Shinra Inc unwisely and not only threw all of Spira (which by now was known only as the Planet as it had undergone many changes and was no longer Spira) into poverty and misery, but upset and threatened the Planet itself.

I could feel it in the Lifestream. The Cetra were angered and wanted to protect the Planet. I didn't like to watch the corruption either but there isn't much to do once you've been in the Lifestream for thousands upon thousands of years. All we residents of the lifestream could do was watch and pray for a savior.

He came, in the most unlikely of packages. A young man named Cloud Strife. He joined SOLDIER, Shinra's army, but soon went AWOL. As an Ex-soldier he joined a resistance group called AVALANCHE. AVALANCHE was trying to liberate the Planet from the reign of Shinra inc. Cloud didn't seem the likely hero at first because he was a rather melancholy and selfish young man. But after he met Aeris, the last remaining Cetra, his fate was sealed.

As we watched, a new threat arose. Sephiroth, a truly evil man :D, wished to harness the power of the Lifestream and use it to rule the Planet. This turned out to be a blessing in disguise because Cloud had a life long grudge against Sephiroth for something that I hadn't been paying attention to. Anyway, it motivated Cloud to save the Planet.

To make a long story short the Cetra was killed by Sephiroth and became part of the Lifestream. However, this didn't happen before she could activate the Holy materia. What is materia? (what Yuffie is obsessed with) It's compressed Lifestream that becomes a sphere and is used to harness the magic within. But that's really not important. Holy, as most of you well know is a very powerful non-elemental magic. Anyway, it was the only thing that could possibly counter the Black material that Sephiroth used to summon Meteor.

Cloud and his group continued on without her and eventually went on to defeat Sephiroth and save the planet. Oh yeah, as Jessica Jones previously interrupted to say, Cloud fell into the Lifestream and his brain got overloaded and messed up (as if it wasn't already) just as I had predicted that it would. However, the story has a happy ending because somehow, his best friend Tifa managed to bring him out of his comatose state thus, also saving the planet. Yay Tifa!

-Shinra

P.S. I'm not gonna tell you if Humankind was saved or not. Nyah