Hey, everyone! Yeah, I know, this is NOT part of my PJO story, OR my Naruto story (though I wonder if anyone is even reading that). But as I was listening to Nelly Furtado's Maneater, I was struck by inspiration, and I realized how well it fit Anna.
The Life of Anna (and Yoh)
"How can you stand her?"
Yoh looked at his friend quizzically. "Huh?"
Horo-Horo groaned, dropping the mop. "You poor idiot. She's finally finished draining your brain cells."
"Who and what are you talking about?" Yoh still looked confused.
"Well, it's not like Yoh had many brain cells to begin with." Ren remarked, stepping into the kitchen. "And Yoh, I have to agree with Horo-Horo. How do you manage to stand Anna? She just doesn't seem like your type of girl."
"I guess Anna is a bit of a pa-"
"Master Yoh! There you are! I have been wondering where you have been!" Rio cried, as he too emerged from the living room.
"Wonder no longer. Congratulations for managing to find him." Ren said coolly.
Yoh smiled, ignoring Ren. "Hey, Rio, what's up?"
"I have finished all the chores that Miss Anna assigned to me. Is there anything else I need to do?" Rio asked eagerly.
However, before Yoh could respond, Horo-Horo groaned. "See! This is exactly what I'm talking about! All Anna does is boss us around and torture Yoh. Only she calls it training. It's like she thinks it'll be more legal that way."
"Aww, it's not that bad, Horo-Horo." Yoh comforted his friend. "But thanks for worrying about me!"
"I don't really care about you, Yoh." Horo-Horo rolled his eyes. "I'm complaining because Anna gives me the hardest work! And-"
"What are you all lazing around here for? Does it look like I'm paying you to shoot your mouth off?"
Horo-Horo and Rio froze, while Yoh turned pale.
Well, it's not like she's really paying them at all.
"Uh, hey Anna. Back so soon?" Yoh greeted hesitantly.
Anna turned her steely eyes toward him. "Yes, Yoh, I'm back so soon. What, were you expecting me to be gone for half a day? Is this what you do when I'm not around? Sit on your butt and laze around?"
"N-no! Rio was just saying that he finished what you told him to do, and wanted to know if he could do anything else!"
Anna smiled, a cold, evil smile. "Good job, Rio. Since you asked, you can wash the porch. And go do the laundry. I need more clothes."
"Yes, Miss Anna." Rio hung his head, and trudged to fulfill her orders.
"Now then." Anna looked at Yoh and Horo-Horo. "Have you two seen Ren? He hasn't organized the shoes or cleaned the closet yet."
"Huh?" the two boys looked at each other. "Isn't Ren here?"
Anna sighed, visibly annoyed. "If he was here, do you think I would have asked you where he was? Look around, you idiots. Do you see Ren anywhere?"
"That bastard." Horo-Horo whispered under his breath. "Scampered off like a mouse before the witch got home."
"Excuse me? Did you just say you wanted to clean the toilets, Horo-Horo? Thank you for volunteering. But do it quickly. If you're not done in two hours, you'll get no dinner."
Horo-Horo hung his head. "Yes, Anna." He waited until she focused on something else, and whispered to Yoh, "See what I mean?"
Anna's voice dropped a few degrees. "And you want to wash the dishes tonight as well? I'm surprised by how diligent you are, Horo-Horo."
"UGH." Horo-Horo groaned, as he quickly exited the kitchen.
"Now, sweetheart, did you finish your training yet? You can't afford to slack just because you're the Shaman King."
"I'm almost done?" Yoh offered.
"Almost isn't good enough. I'm adding another 55 lbs to your running weights, and 70 lbs to the dumbbells. And I want you to start wearing the 20 lb weights around the house. It's a new plan that I'm trying. Someone recommended it to me, although that person was using it to train a tennis player."
"But, Anna! I'm not a tennis player!"
"You're right, if a tennis player can do 20 lbs, you can definitely do much more. Make it 50 lbs instead."
Yoh groaned. "Why do I always manage to make it worse for myself?"
Everybody look at me, me
I walk in the door, you start screaming
Come on, everybody, what you here for?
Move your body around like a nympho.
Everybody, get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people, come on, jump around.
I wanna see you all on your knees, knees
You either want to be with me or be, me.
"Hurry up, Yoh."
"Yes, Anna."
"How is it that just seeing your face reminds me of a bloated turtle?"
"Sorry, Anna."
"And don't drag the bags on the ground. You'll create holes."
"But, Anna! This stuff is so heavy! Do we really need this much stuff?"
"Are you referring to my belongings as stuff?"
"Um, no?"
"Good. I didn't think so."
Silence reigned, as Yoh and Anna continued to trudge through the city streets.
"Anna, did you fill your, um, belongings with rocks?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Because they're really heavy!" Yoh grimaced in pain. "I think my back is going to break."
"What are you, a 50-year-old man?"
"I don't think my back's going to survive that long."
"Listen, you lazy, little-"
"My, my, Anna, are you still torturing my poor baby brother?"
Both Anna and Yoh whipped their heads toward the voice.
"Good grief." Anna rolled her eyes. "What are you doing here?"
Hao, leaning against the wall of a prestigious-looking building, smirked. "Well, you are outside my apartment. And since you're outside of my apartment, I'd say that you're looking for me."
"As egotistical as always, I see."
"Proud of it, my dear."
"Ugh. Hurry up and let us in." Anna demanded.
Hao's smirk widened. "How impolite. However, since it's the Christmas season, I suppose I could oblige."
"Good." Anna pushed past him rudely.
"Hello, otouto. Come on in." Hao invited Yoh. "Your lovely fiancé has already made herself at home."
Yoh smiled. "She does that to everyone."
"Why am I not surprised?" Hao ruefully shook his head, as he and his brother entered his apartment building.
"Woah." Yoh gaped at his surroundings. "Nice place."
Hao nodded in acknowledgement. "It is."
And it was. The penthouse apartment was spacious, with an oriental-modern theme. Different shades of red, gold, and black blended with white and silver to create a stunning color scheme, if a bit unusual. Chrome and marble mixed with dark wood and silk created an East meets West feel to the rooms. Two presents, one wrapped in gold and the other in silver, adorned a glass table near the apartment door, along with a scattering of European chocolates.
Anna accented the scene, her golden-blond hair shining as her red, black, and white kimono flowed.
"I hope you realize it's incredibly impolite to keep a lady waiting. Especially one that has taken the time to visit."
Too bad the scene was ruined once she opened her mouth.
She pinned Hao with a glare. "You had better have gotten me a good present."
"Oh, was I supposed to give you a present?" Hao questioned.
Yoh winced, sensing Anna's gradually growing rage, as one senses a volcano about to erupt. "Hey, um, Hao, I'm gonna use the bathroom. Where is it again?"
"Make a left turn, it's the fifth door on your right."
"Thanks." Yoh quickly escaped the impending storm.
That was probably smart of him. As Yoh heaved a sigh of relief, he could vaguely hear Anna berating Hao furiously. The Shaman King couldn't help but feel sorry for his brother.
"Oh well," Yoh said aloud, "better him than me."
As he returned from his trip to the 'bathroom,' he found Hao sitting on a chair, looking rather disgruntled.
"So," Yoh said cheerfully, glad to have missed Anna's verbal slaughtering, "what'd I miss?"
"Yoh," Hao began slowly, "would you please explain to me what a tamagatchi is?"
Yoh blinked.
"Sorry, what?"
"A tamagatchi."
"Um, why?"
"Because this is the present that Anna would like me to give her for Christmas."
"I think those things went extinct years ago."
Hao looked at him. "I'm sorry. I still don't know what this thing is."
"It's shaped like an egg," Yoh explained, "and the tamagatchi owner can raise a family of tamagatchi's, taking care of them and providing for their needs. The tamagatchi's can also connect with other tamagatchis. When two tamagatchi's connect, the owners can use their respective tamagatchi's to play a game against each other. There's a lot more to it, but that's the basics."
"Mmm. How... interesting."
Anna's eyes snapped sharply to Hao's. "You have no right to judge my taste, considering that your greatest desire was to conquer Earth and wipe out mankind."
Hao's lip twitched. "Very well," he said, raising his hands in mock apology, "no judging."
"Good. Yoh, hurry up and exchange gifts with Hao. I'm going back to the Inn, so don't take too long. I want you to try out a few new exercises." Anna instructed.
Yoh blinked. "Is that supposed to make me want to hurry up? Because it really, really doesn't."
Anna continued speaking as if she hadn't heard Yoh. "Hao, remember that you're coming over for dinner next week. Are you ever going to move in with your brother?"
Hao laughed. "Of course, of course. But why would I move in with my otouto? I don't particularly feel like living in a zoo. All of Yoh's little friends are the jabbering monkeys, although the Chinese warrior could probably pass as a baby tiger."
"Do you think you're opinion matters to me? Insult them all you want, I don't care. It's not like they're my friends." Anna shrugged.
With that lovely passing remark, she left.
"Kami, Yoh." Hao said, collapsing on the sofa that Anna had recently vacated. "How do you stand it?"
"Well, Anna's always been really bossy. It's not that bad, really. I've gotten used to it."
"What are you talking about?" Hao questioned, choosing to recline on the sofa. "I mean, how do you not slam her into a wall and kiss her senseless every time she enters a room? When she doesn't open her mouth, she makes a perfect picture."
Yoh smiled uncertainly. "We've been friends for so long, and fiancés for so long as well, I guess I never really developed that urge." Thank Kami, Yoh added silently to himself, or else Anna would have killed me a long time ago.
"So you're not attracted to her?"
"Of course I am!" Yoh vehemently insisted. "I'm just waiting for her to be ready before we plan the wedding. Besides," Yoh added, almost as an afterthought, "everyone's attracted to Anna. At least physically."
Hao smiled a secret smile. "How sweet. What an adorable opinion. But if you don't get married soon, someone else might snatch her up." He stood, stretching languidly and taking a cigarette out of his back pocket.
"Your present's on the table in the greeting hall. The silver one. Just leave yours there." Hao said.
"Huh?" Yoh said, puzzled by the rude dismissal.
"You should be careful, Yoh." Hao warned. "You might want to start planning that wedding soon. You were right; everyone's attracted to Anna physically. Including me. But what makes me different from the average admirer is the fact that I'm attracted to her sharp wit and mind as well. If you waste too much time, who knows what could happen?" He finished cynically.
"You wouldn't dare. You know how long Anna and I have been together." Yoh said softly, controlling his tone of voice.
"Yes, yes, I know. Years, right?" Hao threw back his head and chuckled. "But years are just numbers. They mean nothing in the scheme of life. I'll give you until next year's Christmas, my naïve little brother. But after that, I'll make my move if you still haven't made yours."
Yoh stood from his chair and quickly exited the room, making his way to Hao's front door. "Merry Christmas, Hao." He not deigning to reply to Hao's taunting.
"Merry Christmas, Yoh. We'll see each other soon. Remember our dinner?" Hao smiled mockingly, and twirled a strand of his long hair, while still smoking his cigarette. Puffs of smoke filled the air. "It'll be a great opportunity to speak with your friends, and my future sister-in-law." He snorted lightly. "Goodbye."
"Bye." Yoh quickly grabbed the present wrapped in silver, and left his orange present in return. Once he was outside Hao's apartment, he took a deep breath, then sighed. "Anna would never choose Hao over me." He reassured himself. "Hao was just bluffing. And besides," he slipped his hand inside his jacket pocket, removing a small, velveteen box. "I'll give this to Anna soon. I'm just waiting for the right time."
His good spirits restored, fortified by his plan, Yoh set off at a quick pace. "After all, can't be late for dinner!"
What a good boy.
Hao chuckled softly to himself. He walked over to a glass side table, which had a chess game on its surface. "Just one more year, little brother." He shifted one of the chess pieces. "Then it's my move."
And when she walks, she walks with passion
When she talks, she talks like she can handle it
When she asks for something, boy, she means it
Even if you never, ever, ever seen it.
Everybody, get your necks to crack around
All you crazy people come and jump around
You doing anything to keep her by your side
Because she said she love you, love you long time.
The sunset was beautiful. The sky was covered in cloth spun with different shades of gold, with the occasional white snag of cloth here and there. The white snags drifted almost lazily across the sky, not making much effort in shielding the world from the fiery heat of the sun, a bright, golden orange globe of pulsating light, like liquid magma forced into the shape of a ball.
It seemed that even nature was mocking Yoh.
"33! 33.5! 34! 34.5!" Huffed Yoh, continuing his training. Anna's new idea was to increase the weight by half the pounds it already weighed. However, since she only increased the weight by half, she insisted that Yoh count in half-steps. Ren Tao strolled outside, pausing to watch Yoh's training session.
"Ren!" Yoh cried, spotting his friend. "Please, save me!"
"I don't think so." Ren smirked. "It's rather funny to see you suffering so much."
"No, it's not! You try doing Anna's training."
"I think I'll pass. Don't complain, you had a choice remember?"
"Wasn't much of a choice." Yoh grumbled.
Ren raised an imperious eyebrow. "Yes, it was. Anna gave you two other choices. You could either double the weight and do the same number reps as you normally do, or keep the weight you have now, and do four times the number of reps. You just chose this option instead."
"Don't you feel any sympathy for me?" Yoh asked pathetically.
"No."
"You're a terrible friend."
"I'm sorry, did you think that I was your friend?"
"Yes, but then again, I thought that Anna was my fiancé too. Fiancés are supposed to be caring and frugal. Two days ago, Anna asked for a new house. And she wants one that's next door to the Inn! Apparently, she wants to turn this place into a hot spring hotel, and expects us to live in the other house."
"A house? That's what you're complaining about?"
"Oh come on, Ren, you know that your family has more money than the Asakuras. Just because your family background is... special... doesn't mean you can make fun of mine!"
Ren spoke dryly, "I'm not making fun of your family background. I'm just shocked that you can't afford a house. It's not like a house in this neighborhood costs that much."
"You're doing that thing where you rub all your money in my face without meaning to again."
"That's nice."
"Yoh, sweetie, the gutters need to be cleaned! After you've finished your training, go wash them out, all right, darling?"
Ren snickered.
"Oh, man." Yoh blushed a deep, scarlet red. "Why does it always have to be you that catches me most embarrassing moments?"
"Wow, two terms of endearment in the same command." Ren observed. "Anna must be serious."
"I mean, I'd rather it be Rio, or Lyserg, or even Horo-Horo who notices these moments."
"Really, Yoh, stop complaining and finish your little training routine. It's not even that difficult. In fact, Anna shouldn't even have to train you. You should have the motivation to train yourself."
"They normally manage to do something that gets Anna's attention off of me. But when you're around, you just sit quietly, blending into the wall like stupid invisible shadow, and then Anna never yells at you!" Yoh finished, wailing at the end.
"Yoh." said Ren, without missing a beat. "Do you love Anna?"
Yoh blinked. "Um, yeah. Why do you ask, Ren? Do you love Anna?"
"What?!" Ren spluttered. "N-no! Of course not!" He took a deep breath, cursing himself for losing his cool. "I-I was just wondering. You seem to be complaining more about Anna lately." Ren continued, finally regaining his composure.
"Really? I hadn't noticed." Yoh tilted his head thoughtfully. "But, yeah, like I said, I do love Anna. In fact," he motioned for Ren to come closer, which he did cautiously. "I'm going to ask her to marry me this Christmas." Yoh whispered.
"...That's great."
"...Aren't you more excited for me?"
"No. Do I look like a girl? The best you're getting is a congratulations from me, which you have just received. Besides," Ren continued, "if you don't finish your training, you won't be able to ask Anna this Christmas. Your lovely fiancé will kill you if you take much longer."
"Oh, crap!"
=======########========########=======
"Oh, man. This really stinks." Yoh complained.
"Tell me about it."
"How did you get stuck doing this again?"
"Ugh, apparently Miss Anna doesn't like my sass."
"It's okay, Horo-Horo, I feel your pain. Misery loves company and all that, right?" Yoh grinned cheerfully.
Horo-Horo grumbled. "I'd prefer not to be in misery at all. Don't you ever regret that you met her?"
"Nah, not really." Yoh answered. "I mean, the first time I met her, she threatened to kill me, and then the first time she sat next to me on the train, she slapped me. But sometimes, she smiles. From the bottom of her heart, I mean."
"Wow. She smiles." Horo-Horo said dryly, then shuddered. "Her smile is probably terrifying. I bet the devil learned how to smile from her."
"Ah, she's not that bad, you know."
Horo-Horo stared incredulously. "Riight."
"It's true." Yoh insisted. "When I was little, she terrified me. But no matter what she did, whether she chased me up and down the streets with poop on a stick, or destroyed all of my Bob Love cds, I still thought she was cute. I couldn't get mad at her. And without her, I don't think I would even have had a chance at becoming Shaman King. Her training really built up my furioku, and honestly, without all her help and support, there's no way I could have defeated Hao."
"You realize that Hao's still around."
"Yeah, but his opinion is changing. Slowly, but still changing."
"By the time he completely realizes how stupid he was in the past, he'll probably be about to die, anyway."
"Maybe." Yoh acquiesced agreeably. "But maybe not. He and Anna are probably the most extraordinary people I know. They're really different. It's not just their personalities, it's the way they carry themselves. I don't think I've ever seen any other people carry themselves that way."
"True." Horo-Horo agreed grudgingly. "Though the Tao family kind-of carries themselves that way too."
"A little bit, but not exactly." Yoh tried to describe it. "The Tao's carry themselves with pride and grace, and have a kind of snobby, elite air about them. But Hao and Anna carry themselves different. They're proud and graceful too, but it's almost like they're superior to the rest of world, a natural air of imperiousness. Like they're better than everyone else, and the world agreeing with them. As if they're deities or something."
"Yoh, I think you need some rest. You're blabbering."
"Yeah, you're probably right. Can you finish this?"
"Sure, why not?" Horo-Horo smiled. "Just count on me! I've got this. You need to sleep."
"Thanks, Horo-Horo. You're the best."
"I know."
After Yoh disappeared into the Inn, Horo-Horo took a quick glance around. "Oh, man. Cleaning this up is gonna take all night, isn't that right, Cory?"
His spirit squeaked in agreement.
"Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt." Horo-Horo yawned. "Just for five minutes."
Famous last words. How idiotic.
Two minutes later, Horo-Horo was out cold.
=======########========########=======
Yoh was playing ring-around-a-rosy with oranges. There were about five different oranges, and every time Yoh felt a little hungry, he's lean over and snag a small chunk of fruit from the orange beside him. He was just about to-
Splash.
Yoh jumped out of bed, teeth shivering. Immediately, his eyes focused on Anna, who looked extremely pissed.
"Anna! That was really cold!"
She didn't say anything. Yoh gulped.
"Heh, heh, never mind. Um, do you want some breakfast?" he tried hesitantly.
"Yoh," Anna begin sweetly, "I'm going to give you a present."
Yoh brightened instantly. "A present?"
"Yes. A present. But this present is special."
"Oh." Never mind. Yoh suddenly felt his happiness fade a bit.
"This present shows my gratitude for you, as you've helped around the Inn a lot." Anna continued, her voice deadly saccharine.
Yoh began backing up slowly. "No need to thank me."
"Really, sweetie pie, I insist. So as I was saying..."
Yoh instantly stopped moving, hoping to somehow escape her wrath if he cooperated.
Anna handed Yoh a remote control. "Press the button." she invited.
Yoh hesitantly pressed the button.
Splash.
Yoh looked up pitifully at Anna, who had used an umbrella to shield herself from the incoming gutter water. She sneered at him. "What an incredible job you did cleaning the gutters yesterday. Here's an example of your hard work."
With that parting comment, Anna turned and flounced out of Yoh's room, slamming the door behind her. Yoh was left, utterly drenched in dirty, brown water, with sludge and leaves sticking all over him. He took a deep breath to calm himself.
"HORO-HORO!"
It didn't work.
He should probably get new breathing exercises.
Man eater, make you work hard
Make you spend hard
Make you want all of her love.
She's a man eater
Make you buy cars
Make you cut cords
Make you fall in, fall in love.
Yeah, she's a man eater
Wish you never ever met her at all.
I've been around the world I ain't never seen a girl like this.
She's a man eater, a man eater...
Whew! My first Shaman King fanfic! I actually became hooked on this series a while back, but I never had any time to write any stories for it. However, like I said, when I heard this song on my iPod, I realized just how perfect it was for Shaman King.
This writing is mostly based on the English-dubbed version, so ... yeah. Some stuff's AU, like Hao living in an apartment. Some of it comes from the anime, like the scene about Anna and Yoh as a child. I kind of pulled my experiences.
Hope you liked it! Please review, because this actually took up a lot of my time. I just knew I had to finish it, though.
XOXO
Luna Rivera528