Antismurf Lord of Darkness here. Okay, this is a new thing that I'm trying. I'm not certain if it's been done before, but if it has, I will be doing it again. My mission: get into Kefka Palazzo's head. How do I plan to do this? Like this:

I will be writing as Kefka after the events of Final Fantasy VI (so he's technically dead). Each chapter, Kefka will pick a new topic and discuss his views on it. Since this is Kefka speaking, what is said may be very offensive to some of you readers. I will try to let you know before you read each chapter of what you may be offended by. It may also be really disturbing. Please note that I do not share any of these views with Kefka, I'm just trying to get a better understanding of this man. Hope that you enjoy (or at least are interested).

What you may be offended by: things concerning the meaning of life. Religion may be mentioned as well.

I don't own Final Fantasy or its characters.

Kefka Palazzo On Life

I don't quite understand why you want me to do this. I was under the impression that most people disliked me. They all found me to not be a nice person and most called me "one of the most evil beings to ever exist." How is this supposed to do well if NOBODY LIKES ME? Whatever. What's the first topic?

Ah, yes, of course. What do I think about life? Well, you're an idiot. I've already told you that. If I must quote myself, "Life...dreams...hope...Where do they come from? And where do they go? Such meaningless things...I'll destroy them all!" There's my view on life. Life has no meaning. It's as simple as that.

Oh, but of course, you will ask, "But Mr. Kefka, why do you think that life is meaningless?" Well, I'll tell you two things. First, it's Mr. Palazzo. Kefka is not my last name, Palazzo is. Otherwise, my name would be Kefka Kefka, and that would be COMPLETELY STUPID! Second, how could you not know why life is meaningless? Isn't it obvious? Fine, I'll tell you then, but I'm sure that you've heard this argument before.

Tell me right now what you're great-great grandmother did. How many children did she have? Did she ever work at all? Where did she work? How about one generation back from there? One more? No? That's what I thought. Their lives HAD NO MEANING. You might not even be able to say their names. What do you think will happen as history goes on? IT WILL ALL BE FORGOTTEN. Soon enough, you will be forgotten as well. Of course, you will counter this by saying, "Well some people are remembered for many years, like Atilla the Hun and King Tut. You're life has as much meaning as you make it." Well… YOU'RE WRONG! Sure, a person could be remembered if they are really lucky. Maybe they will even make a difference that could change the entire world, even if they aren't remembered. I will not deny it, for it is definitely possible. But all things come to an end. Someday, humanity will DIE. All living things will PERISH, and then who's left to remember you? Who will be affected by the changes you brought about? NO ONE! Absolutely NO ONE!

I don't care how you skew the facts, no matter how many inventions are invented, no matter how many lives are saved or killed, this world and universe will be DESTROYED and your life becomes MEANINGLESS! It's not that hard to understand. There is a beginning, and there is an end. When things end, they end, and nothing more matters after that point! No one can stop the end from occurring.

And now you ask, "Well, if what you say is true [which it is] then why does everyone think that their life has meaning?" Again with the OBVIOUS QUESTIONS! You're really starting to irritate me with those! Of course everyone thinks that their life has meaning. It's their life. Everything that happens revolves around you. Everything that happens affects you. Therefore, you couldn't imagine a world without YOU! In fact, those that think that the world would be better off with them DEAD are right! The world would be better off, and you would be better off! You wouldn't be trying to make something out of nothing. Remember, if you multiply zero by two, you still get zero.

Actually no, I revise my statement. Life does have meaning. The meaning of life is DEATH. Life only exists so death can occur. So you see, I'm not really a bad man, I'm just bringing people to their ultimate purpose faster.

In conclusion, my life is the only life with significant meaning because I'm a god. The rest of you aren't gods, so your lives only mean death. Uwee hee hee.

Hm… Not sure if I really got the persona of Kefka right, but I'll work on it.

I'm open to suggestions for topics of later chapters. So far, I have government, religion, and women (I'm not being sexist, I just can't think of anything for men right now).

Please review if you have the time.