A/N: Enjoy

Chapter 1: The Miracle of Re-Birth

It was a weird nightmare, all in all. Of course, I'd had nightmares about dying pretty often, they didn't bother me much. I'm fairly sure they're normal as far as psychology is concerned.

And I mean; household accidents are a fairly common way to die- most deaths in the united states happened in the home- electrocutions, falls- this one was tripping over a toy car belonging to my little cousin and braining myself; my poor grandmother's horrified face as I gurgled my last farewell- kinda morbid but that's what makes it a nightmare I think.

But I'm rambling- how I died- or the dream sequence that led to this madness, or the reason I was in such a weird coma doesn't matter much.

It was just the last thing I remember from before, so I wonder a little. No use stressing about it. Death, dream or Coma- I was here now.

Time is what tipped me off at first- the fourth dimension is kinda hard to grasp with the dreaming mind. And having dreams between bouts of maddening though thankfully short warm blackness made it hard to believe I was just dreaming.

You can't dream within a dream can you? At least- I never had before, and I don't think you can dream during a coma. I had brain activity at least, though the blackouts scared me- my greatest fear was being a vegetable- I had a living will that specifically stated that I'd rather not come back with half my head missing, but my grandma had it stashed away, and who knows when the last time she'd looked at it was.

Dear god- please don't let me be on life support, paraplegic and in a coma. Please- please- please. My family deserves more than that- though grandma was probably going to throw out all her toy cars. She was superstitious like that.

I came up with the option of reincarnation as more of a hope than a real option. I was sure I was dying in a hospital somewhere, with my nerves relaying bad data- the reason I couldn't feel anyone holding my hand or anything really but the warm constricting blackness. Oh God- I'd heard about a book a while back that had a guy kept alive though blind, deaf, and without limbs- not knowing what he was feeling. At least sensation was muted. Kinda like I was underwater actually, or maybe in a womb? I'd gotten one of those baby-belly sound systems for a friend of mine when she got pregnant- it altered the sound waves to make them easier for baby to hear right through the womb. So you could jam to your favorite song with your unborn child. Totally cheesy, but she' d loved it.

The thing about reincarnation- which isn't against my beliefs per-se, but I found unlikely- even if you were reincarnated, that whole – you only using 10% of your brain is actually total bullshit, you use your whole brain, just not all at once, and you can recover, it's just that the space for memory storage is kind of a hardrive right? When you get your head caved in, you just lose capacity, like instead of 12Terabytes, you only have 6 or something (the brain is like so many more Terabytes, I don't even know)- so your brain is just like- yeah, I'll move this important stuff like mouth breathing over here. So to get back to the point- a baby brain can't hold everything. But here's the main thing, and this got me super excited- I did remember stuff later, which is like- okay, meta here, but the brain gives off it's own electronic field, and there are theories about shared public consciousness and stuff- so I was re-learning memories as my brain grew to support it (probably supported by Chakra)- but that was later. Waaaaaay later.

My first day was kinda hectic, as you can imagine- I was Naruto (though I was totally clueless at the time).

I'd hoped for a female body thing at first- before I'd figured out who I was, you know- not looking forward to gender confusion and that held on till I was old enough to lift my head during a diaper change a few months into my new life.

First day was crazy- Hirashin kind of feels like how I imagine Harry Potter Apparition is described, only super gentle? That might have been because Dad was scared of hurting me- or 'Yellow Blob' at the time, because no way I knew what was what at first.

I figured out the miracle of birth part pretty quick when my head caved in/collapsed/compressed coming out- super squicky- ugh, my face being pushed out of a vagina, gross. I kept my eyes closed and held my breath until after I was cleaned off- not actually hard, with all the blah in my lungs still. 'Red Blob/Mom' was sticky and exhausted, and the loud noises were just- so annoying and super scary. I probably remember the Sandaime's wife dying, but I'm not sure, so I'm not going to try to- no use really, when I'm not sure. I just ignored it all- I figured as a baby my parents would take care of whatever it was.

I didn't really get any of a clue until I was getting sealed. It was cold dirt under my back (I was pretty annoyed about that, even if there was a blanket or something under me)- and the radiating warmth from Kurama- the same pulsing warmth that I'd experienced in vitro. Which calmed me down at the time, funny enough.

So it was there I cultivated a love of the color orange- My parents- brief red and yellow/white blobs hovering above me, surrounded by warmth and the effusive orange glow of the 9 tailed beast they were skewered on. They babbled at me in Japanese- low and gentle and loving, before suddenly the warmth was gone, and I was burning up on the inside. It hurt, and I'm not surprised I was bawling my eyes out- not the ahhhh ahhh ahhh that was in the Anime- but the snotty gross, red faced kind that's indicative of real pain.

Also, I couldn't blow my own nose (this day was so gross- I couldn't wait for my first diaper change), or control my arms and legs- all my pons based muscle memory was totally gone, and just- ugh.

And then Sandaime (which I didn't figure out until later) picked me up and I was out- just, too emotional, naptime blah. I was done with it. I want to wake up now, though I was at the point I was coming to terms with the fact that this was my life now. Logic sucks like that.

A/N: The first couple of Chapters are going to be this drabble-esque type of meta info dump. just not a lot happening the first years okay? I have to roll my eyes when people are like, saving the world at 2 years old- no way. I've already got most of the next chapter- it's going to fill in the years at the orphanage and before Academy. Let me know what you think- in moderation, I have the profanity filter on ;).