A groan escaped his lips as Colonel Roy Mustang began to stir. His eyes flittered open before shutting them immediately to protect them from the bright light emitting from the window next to his bed. For some strange reason, he couldn't feel his right arm, but he shrugged it off as being a side effect of the mission he completed the day before.

While the colonel usually didn't do any work outside his office, a special case came up a few weeks before involving a terrorist group. While Roy shrugged it off as only another group of bandits just trying to get their opinion about the military across, by the time the previous weekend ended, a total of seven major train stations and nine military bases were bombed, and a few of the military squads sent out to possible terrorist hideouts were ambushed with a few of the officers taken as hostages. Finally, a few of the State Alchemists, including Roy himself and the well-acknowledged Fullmetal Alchemist Major Edward Elric, were sent to stop the terrorists and rescue the officers from their clutches. It wasn't that Edward was dragged away from whatever far-off city to do this small deed, he just happened to be in the area when the call was made and he volunteered to help out. The shorty's excuse was that the wanted to take a break from searching for the legendary Philosopher's Stone, and it was probably a good thing he took his "break," because if it weren't for him, the State Alchemists sent to break up the group would've been in a worse situation than they would've been in. Those terrorists either had expected the military and thought up of things ahead of time, or they were geniuses, because somehow, some way, the State Alchemists were split up and had gotten quite a beating, and if it weren't for Ed's quick thinking, they would've been screwed over and the terrorists would still be wreaking havoc. That and the military's reputation would worsen if at all possible.

After a few minutes, Roy's eyes adjusted to the morning sunlight filtering into the room. He sat up and jerked his head back to get some of his hair out of his face. Dammit, I guess I need to get a haircut…

And while he was still in his sleeping-zombie state, he examined his surroundings and realized that the room looked like some sort of hotel room, and the first thing that popped in his head was, "How did I get here?"

And that question woke him up some. How did he get here? He started to think of the previous day's events, and he couldn't remember how he got into this room. He could've sworn that he had gone back to his office back in Central…or at least, that was his last thought when he had been leaving the site of the fight between terrorists and alchemists. Roy's eyebrows furrowed and, true, he couldn't remember what happened after the fight. It was him walking with his comrades…then blank.

He shook his head and rubbed his eye with his left hand. Whatever, he thought. Perhaps a drink would get me thinking again…

"Oh, hey, Brother!" Roy's head shot up, and he saw, standing at the doorway, a familiar suit of armor. Alphonse, he recalled, Edward's younger brother. Well, at least he remembered that… "It's great to see you up. Are you feeling better?"

Roy looked around, confused. He didn't see Edward in the room anywhere, so he looked back at Alphonse with a puzzled expression. "What are you talking about?" Was it just him, or did his voice sound high pitched and…not him?

"You were pretty sick last night, Brother," Alphonse explained, mistaking Roy's confusion for where Edward was with him wondering why the younger brother was happy to see him awake. "We tried feeding you, but you kept throwing up, and you finally passed out. What happened out there yesterday? Something must have happened to make you so sick." There was obvious worry in the suit of armor's words.

And now that Roy thought about it, he faintly tasted bile in his mouth. He shook his head. "That's not what I meant, Alphonse." He looked around. "Where's Edward?"

Even though Al can't make facial expressions, it was obvious that he was confused and even more worried. "What do you mean, Brother? Did you hit your head or something? I told you that you shouldn't do anything too drastic…but then again if you didn't, who knows what would've happened with you and the other State Alchemists…"

"Alphonse," Roy said, interrupting the younger boy's thoughts, "I'm not Edward. I--oof!" When he slid off the bed and tried to walk, he stumbled and fell.

"Brother! Are you okay?" Al kneeled down by his side. "You shouldn't get out of bed, you're still not well…"

"Alphonse…" Roy's sentence trailed off as he looked down at his legs. The first thing that made an alarm go off in his head was the fact that he was wearing leather pants. Why, he asked himself, would he wear leather pants? That's one of the last things he would dare put on…

The second sight caused him to start to panic. The one thing that caused him to loose his balance and fall when he tried to get out of bed…was his mechanical left leg. Thinking it was just a figment of his imagination, he reached out to touch it and maybe the hallucination would go away…

But it only got worse when he realized that his right arm was all automail. He realized that he was shirtless, and his eyes trailed up the arm to his shoulder where the arm connected to his body…and he saw the loose, shoulder-length golden hair that lay on that shoulder…

Roy let out a yell as he clambered onto his feet, only to loose his balance and fall back onto the bed.

"Brother! What's wrong?!" Al stepped forward a couple paces, which only made Roy shuffled backwards, getting his limbs tangled on the bed sheets.

Roy was able to see his (distorted) reflection on Al's breastplate, and the person looking back with all-to-familiar golden eyes was a very frightened, very bewildered Edward Elric…

"WHAT THE FU--"

-----

Ed twitched when he snapped awake from a fitful sleep. He groaned as he lifted himself up on his elbows, and he realized that he had been leaning down on a messy desk while asleep. He let out another groan as he arched his back to get any cricks out of his spine.

Damn…that was some dream…wait…what am I doing in headquarters…? He looked around, and realized that the room was all too familiar…

"What the hell?! Why am I in Mustang's office?" He jumped onto his feet, only to stumble and crash onto the floor, his head smashing against the chair. He moaned and rubbed the back of his head. "What in the world…" His eyes widened when he realized he was dressed the traditional blue military uniform, and the fact that his braided ponytail was missing left him dumbfounded, but his astonishment turned into anger. "If this is that damn Colonel Bastard's idea of a joke, his jaw will be saying hello to my fist…"

He lifted himself onto his feet, only to realize that he felt…taller. No, he was taller. Normally, where the top of the desk met his waist, his hips just barely reached the edge. His hands rested on the desktop, only to have him realize that they were both flesh. His right hand lacked the familiar look of metal, and by the feel of it, his left leg was flesh and bone as well. That's probably why he had lost his balance…

"Sir, is everything okay?" Ed snapped out of his thoughts and looked towards the double doors, where a familiar blonde-haired brown-eyed woman stood.

"Uh, Lieutenant…" Ed slammed his hands down on the desk. "Lieutenant!" he repeated, but this time louder. "Who am I?"

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye raised an eyebrow. "Um…Sir? Are you okay?"

"Of course I'm okay!" He leaned forward. "Answer the damn question! Who the hell am I?!"

"You…are Colonel Roy Mustang, sir," Riza answered hesitantly. Closing the door behind her, she briskly walked up to Ed and placed a hand on his forehead. "You shouldn't have come back to headquarters last night. You're unwell."

"I didn't come back last night!" Ed practically spat, controlling himself from hyperventilating. "I…" He froze. He didn't know what he did last night. He couldn't remember anything, actually, after late afternoon the previous day. His mind was blank, and Riza was easily able to figure this out.

"You should go home, Colonel, and get some rest," she said. "We are all worried about you, and if you have a lapse in your memory…" She shook her head. "That's definitely not a good sign." She reached a hand out to grab his sleeve, but Edward stepped back.

"No, I'm not Mustang!" He shook his head and pointed at himself. "I'm Ed!"

Hawkeye blinked a few times. "Okay, now I know there's something wrong with you, Sir. You need to see a doctor." She snatched the sleeve of his blue uniform and began to drag him towards the door, but he pulled himself away.

"No!" he yelled. "I'm fine! And I'm not Mustang!" Before Riza could say anything, Ed ran to the doors and threw them open, revealing another room that had a rectangular table in the middle with a few chairs and uniform-clad men around that table.

The four men jumped and looked at him, all with identical confused faces on. Second Lieutenant Heymans Breda peeked up from a smaller table he was hiding behind in the far corner of the room, obviously hiding from Hawkeye's dog Black Hayate, who was currently cradled in Master Sergeant Kain Fuery's arms. By the way Second Lieutenant Jean Havoc was breathing, it looked like he had recovered from a laughing fit, with his cigarette hanging out of his mouth, and Warrant Officer Vato Falman, who was holding a stack of folders, was apparently trying to stop the commotion, but lucky for him, Edward did the job for him.

Edward let in a few breaths to calm himself down before asking, "Guys, who am I?" All he got were stares. He clenched his fists before practically jogging up to the nearest person to him; Havoc. He grabbed the blond subordinate's collar and pulled him up until their noses were almost touching. "Who the hell am I?!" he practically screamed in his face. "Why am I here?! I'm not suppose to be here!"

Havoc stuttered a little before answering, "Uh, sir, you're…you're Colonel Mustang--"

"NO I'M NOT!" Edward shook him before letting him go. "I'm not Mustang! I'm Edward! ED. WARD!"

"Colonel, stop freaking out!" Falman dropped the folders and went up to him to try to hopefully calm the distressed Edward down, but it didn't work, and soon enough, Mustang's subordinates were yelling back at Ed, trying to get him back to his senses.

With Edward being Edward, and being totally creeped out and out of his mind, he kept on repeating himself, and finally he let out an ear-splitting scream and ran out of the room with his…no, Roy's hair clenched in his fists. Only when the yell disappeared down the hallway did the four men and one woman dare to move.

"Maybe…it was a bad idea to let Colonel Mustang go to that mission," Fuery said quietly, fixing his glasses with one hand while holding a barking Black Hayate with the other.

"Maybe…" Havoc bent down and picked up his fallen cigarette. "Or perhaps he threw up his brains when he was puking in the bathroom last night."

Lieutenant Hawkeye let out a sigh as she crossed the room and closed the doors to keep any bewildered military officers from peeking in and trying to find out what caused the Flame Alchemist to yell Bloody Mary with his arms flailing around above his head.

Well, there we go. :3 Chapter one of my crackfic that popped in my head last night. I know that there are prolly enough body-switching fics out there, but I felt like getting this out of system before I forgot about it. I pretty much wrote this because it was entertaining to imagine Roy running out of the room while yelling as if the apocolypse was coming...yeah. You coud obviously tell that it was rushed towards then end.

Make Jen happy and leave a review please. :3 I'd like to know what you guys think.