"October"
By Maya Brisa/Auron/Unsent
All characters © Tetsuya Nomura and Square-Enix. October © Evanescence
"Question! About this Farplane... When somebody dies, a summoner sends them to the Farplane, right? So... their souls, or whatever they are, they go to the Farplane, right? But that's... the Farplane we're going to, right? And Yuna's old man's there... too? Do... dead people live there or something?" Tidus asked, scratching the back of his blond head.
The young blitzer fell into a reverie. Ghosts and demons of lanky limbs appeared in Tidus' mind. The tiny hairs on the back of his neck stood on end, accenting the chills that rode down his spine.
"Uh..." he shuddered, rubbing his arms.
"You're thinking those funny thoughts again, ya?" Wakka asked, pointing at Tidus, "You'll see once we get
there." he added, shaking his head with a sympathetic grin. With a wave of his hand, he ushered Yuna and Lulu into the entrance of the Farplane. Kimahri followed not far behind.
Tidus was about to follow suit, then realized he didn't see Auron go in, he turned around and saw the guardian sitting on the ledge.
"Aren't you coming?" he asked, extending his gloved hand to the swirly entrance.
"I do not belong there." Auron muttered, looking deep in thought.
"Aha! You're scared!" Tidus declared, placing a victorious hand on his hip. He didn't know it, but he was pretty close to being right. Auron was afraid to go into the Farplane, but only because he knew he'd never come out.
"Searching the past to find the future... This is all that is there. I
need it not..." he said plainly, trying to avoid the subject, "You'd better be going." he suggested, sealing his testimony. And, as if to spare Auron's hide of Tidus' ridiculous questions, Rikku came up the path with her own opinion.
"You're not really going to see the dead, more like your memories of them." she started, seating herself on the ledge opposite of Auron.
"People think of their relatives, and the pyreflies react to them. They take on
the form of the dead person; an illusion, nothing else." she said rather sadly, as if her heart couldn't bear the thought.
"Hmm..." Tidus murmured, rubbing his chin. It was hard to get Tidus to understand anything, he always had to stop and absorb the information first.
"Well, have fun!" Rikku chirped, waving at him, as if to say 'Get going already'.
"What, you're not going either, Rikku?" He asked, looking over at her with a surprised expression.
"I keep my memories inside." she replied, placing a palm over her heart.
"Huh? What does that mean?" he asked, placing his hand atop his head.
"Memories are nice, but that's all they are." she said, shrugging a little.
"D'okay..." he murmured, shaking his head a little, "Catch you later, then." he added, turning and walking to the big swirly entrance. This was going to be weird, and he knew it. After a few hesitations and poking at the ethereal substance, he stepped through, leaving Rikku and Auron alone.
"So, are you afraid of seeing Yunie's daddy?" Rikku asked the stoic pile of red across from her. This was going to be like talking to a brick wall, she could tell already. He didn't even flinch.
"Don't count on it." he replied with a straight tone. His shoulders nudged forward for a moment, indicating that he had intentions of standing up. His thought process was bothering him, and the cute little blonde across the way couldn't figure it out.
"Well, iI/i know you're scared, and it makes sense, you know? The past is so painful..." she murmured, squeezing her thumb and forefinger over the lacy hem of her shorts. She obviously had some painful memories that haunter her, but no one could tell looking at her.
"Excuse me." Auron said, rising to his feet. Without another word, he walked back down the path.
"Hey? I wasn't finished talking, you know!" she whined, turning her torso and following him with her eyes, "Meanie!" she called, slumping on the ledge. Looked like she was going to be waiting for the others alone.
Auron did have a set path, and that was to march toward Seymour's private chambers. He casually walked up the sloped tree path from the inn, wondering what he'd say to Seymour. He crossed under a few bridges and arrived at the entrance to the guest room.
He entered the guest room, which, to his surprise wasn't guarded by a guado. He thought it very strange when he reached the second floor; There was no guard in sight and the doors to Seymour's room were open: as if to say "Come on in.".
With careful steps, Auron walked through the threshold of the entrance, he looked over to his left and saw Seymour seated at a desk, scribbling into a journal; beside him was a small pile of belongings neatly tucked away in a bag. He was obviously planning to leave. Without any further delays, Auron decided to make his presence known, so he shut both of the doors with a light slam.
Seymour turned on his seat and looked toward the door.
"Ah, Sir Auron." Seymour smiled, a little bit of bitterness in his tone.
"Enough with the formal titles. We're not playing your game anymore." Auron stated flatly, keeping his nose parallel to the floor. Any hesitations or uneasy gestures, and it would be to the snake pits with Auron's defense.
"Tsk, tsk. Are we in a mood?" Seymour replied sarcastically. He stood up from his chair and walked with fluid grace, out into the middle of the bedroom, "Why are you here?" he asked simply, tilting his head.
"To talk." the guardian replied, leaning against the double doors, "Why did you propose to Yuna?" he asked dryly. His jealous bone was starting to throb again, the other part of him was concerned for Yuna's safety.
"To the point as always, I see." Seymour muttered, annoyed at Auron's haste, "I told you why, or did you forget already? Or is the stench of the Farplane starting to get to your senses?" he mused, narrowing his eyes. Though Auron claimed they wouldn't be playing any of Seymour's games, it would be a game anyway.
"That was a poor explanation. There is something else." he replied, self-assured. The past ten years had changed Seymour, he was no longer the innocent eighteen year-old Auron remembered. Now, standing there, was a man filled with bitterness and resentment. From what? Auron didn't know, but he was determined to find out.
"And now that you've brought the Farplane up… what did you think you were trying to prove back there?" Auron asked, narrowing his eye at the maester. Seymour knew what he was talking about…
"I simply put you on the spot, that is all. I believe you were well deserving of it; walking into my home and treating me rudely. I had to defend myself." He smiled.
"You almost ruined my cover… You know how Yevon works, and the Summoners' duties…"
"Well, no one figured it out, what does it matter?" Seymour shrugged, wetting his lips. Though Seymour didn't look it, there was a seething anger inside his chest, and Auron could feel it.
"Hn…" Auron grunted, and walked over to a chair. He had to sit down, the tension in the room was almost unbearable… and yet, he sensed something else in the air; like… hazy desire. Auron adjusted the gray cowl around his collar and sat quite rigidly in the chair. He remained calm, though banners and flags were waving with flying colors through his head. He knew why he had come to Seymour's chambers. It was to discuss the previous matter, and yet, he just wanted to see him.
Ten years had passed since last he saw Seymour officially… when they were "acquaintances". Perhaps the trio, Braska, Jecht and Auron could have stayed in Guadosalam a bit longer. Yes... longer; if Jyscal hadn't caught Auron trying to bed his only son. Braska was asked to leave, and to take his guardians as well.
Jyscal worked hard to cover it up, he couldn't afford to have any embarrassments, he wouldn't allow it. He was a smart man; very sharp and he knew of his son's infatuation with guardian in red. He wanted it to end.
Taking great lengths, he locked Seymour up in his bedroom and not letting him out until he was certain the summoner and his guardians were far out of reach. He sent a guado guard with a sphere to record Braska's departure, and returned to his son to lie.
Jyscal informed his son that Auron left Macalania along with his summoner, and they would not be returning. Ever. Seymour, in a fit of despair fled Guadosalam in an attempt to find Auron, but it had been days since they left Macalania; they were gone.
They never saw each other after that.
Seymour was seated on his bed. The pale indigo eyes never straying from the guardian. It made Auron slightly uncomfortable...
"Why didn't you come back?" Seymour asked.
"I had other things to do." he replied simply, hoping Seymour would drop that subject.
"What things? What can an unsent man do for ten years, without returning to his..." he trailed off. His what? His lover? It was nothing more than a mistake, "Where did you go?"
"I went to Zanarkand... Jecht took me there. I watched over his son in that time."
Seymour didn't have anything to say to that at the present. He could feel his heart starting to crack into little shards of forgotten nothingness. Though Seymour always appeared strong, confident, and calm, this moment was getting to him. It was breaking the tough exterior he'd created over a lifetime of pain and suffering.
"You told me that you would come back. You promised me... you gave me your word." Seymour finally spoke, resting his hands in his lap. Seymour the brave was starting to chip, he had averted his eyes to the floor.
"I know I did, but I had to, Seymour. I made other promises..." he said, praying that Seymour would just let it go.
"Jecht's son came before me?" Seymour asked, looking up with glassy eyes. He wanted more out of this. Closure, perhaps...
"It's none of your business." He stood up from his seat and walked toward the doors. Seymour stared as the last pieces of his reserve fell away. He turned his pale eyes to the ground for a moment, a pout spreading on his lips... his eyes raised again and he stood as well, following the red-robed guardian, his steps were slow and graceful, but large so that he caught up with the dark-haired man.
"None of my business?" Seymour said, grabbing Auron's arm. He could feel the muscles beneath the cloth tighten from his touch, "I waited for you to come back... " he murmured, squeezing his arm.
A grunt was Seymour's only reply as Auron continued to avert his auburn gaze elsewhere, away from the haunting maester.
"I am so tired..." He cast a weary hand over his forehead, with the arm that wasn't occupied by Seymour's hands, "I'm not in the mood to talk about this. I heard all I needed to hear, I should go."
"I don't care what you needed to hear. You're not leaving like this; you betrayed me." Seymour snapped, tugging at the arm in his grasp.
"I'm not the one that joined Yevon's ranks," Auron retorted, jerking his arm away to face the blue-haired man, "and proposed to another..." he spat, the jealousy ringing in his voice. The half guado could hear it.
Without warning, Seymour grabbed the trimming of the guardian's robe, roughly pulling him in for a kiss. How bittersweet. In an instant, Seymour was shoved away. His lips swollen with want and need for other's. Seymour's fingers tightened the fabric, "Why are you doing this to me!" he yelled, feeling doubly rejected. There was no man, thing, or woman on this planet that could anger Seymour-Guado, except Auron.
"I don't want you anymore. We had our chance ten years ago. It obviously wasn't meant to be." Auron replied calmly, as his one eye stared sternly into Seymour's.
"You gave up on me!" Seymour screamed, "Abandoned me!" he finished with another rough jerk on Auron's robe, "Just like everyone else..."
"I never meant to hurt you, but I've moved on. I think I came here to tell you that." Auron said, lowering his face. Seymour's face paled, there were no more strands of hope to grasp onto. They were all whisked away with Auron's last words.
"Get out." Seymour spoke, turning his head to one side. He let go of Auron's robe and opened the door behind him.
Auron said nothing and turned around to leave. Seymour held the doorway open as he stood in it, hiding his resolve, "For those ten years... I thought you were Sin, Auron... that is why I became a maester." he whispered, shutting the door after Auron had stepped out.
Seymour leaned against the door. Barely audible, he heard "I'm sorry." through the doors. Tears had formed at the corners of his eyes, but he sniffled and put on his leader face; It was time to play his part and bury the grief.
As much as Auron would have loved to deny it, his heart was aching badly. With heavy steps, he made his way back to the Farplane entrance, it was unnecessary to cause a scene. Entering the bridge again, he found Rikku in the same place, only now she was asleep with her head on her knees.
"They haven't come out yet?" Auron asked, returning to his place on the ledge. Rikku's head snapped up; Auron's voice could wake a hibernating fiend.
"Oh, uh, no, I guess not." she replied, blinking a few times. She was going to ask where he went, but judging by the look on his face, that wasn't a very good idea. All at once, Yuna and company exited the Farplane. Auron rose to his feet, and so did Rikku.
"Thanks for waiting. I'll go give my answer to Maester Seymour." Yuna declared with a nod. She had made up her mind. For a brief moment, Yuna's mismatched eyes fell upon Auron and could have swore she saw him wince. She set her jaw a moment and turned to Lulu, "Ready?"
Lulu would have replied had a swirling burst of ill-looking pyreflies not appeared behind Yuna. Two guado servants felt the disturbance and entered the Farplane bridge. They both had shocked expressions.
"Lord Jyscal!" one of them called, staggering back, "This is impossible!" he finished, shaking his head in disbelief.
Auron quickly faced the entrance, "He does not belong here." he said sternly, staring up at the shifting specter.
" Why?" Yuna asked, her naivety making another gallant appearance.
"Yuna, send him." Auron commanded. All eyes were focused on Yuna and Jyscal, wondering what was going on and why.
Auron fell to one knee, gripping his chest.
"Lord Jyscal..." Yuna whimpered, giving the desperate creature a sad look.
"He is Lord Jyscal no more. Send him now!" Lulu yelled, stepping forward. No one was watching Auron, he was on the floor swatting at his own pyreflies... in pain. He was breathing heavily, feeling utterly weak. It was quite unpleasant through the duration of the sending. After Yuna was finished, she saw something fall from Jyscal's hand... picking it up discretely, she pocketed the sphere and turned to the party.
Auron was back on his feet, still panting, but relatively back to normal. Tidus stepped up onto the platform to the entrance.
"What happened?" he asked, looking around at the others.
"Talk later. We leave now." Auron said dryly, hunching slightly before standing up straight and leading the way from the Farplane. His mind was ablaze of many thoughts and questions... one of which he already knew the answer to. He was sick to his stomach, and he had nowhere to escape to. Auron would do what he could to keep what just happened a secret. What could he do or say to get it dropped?
The group was walking uneasily down the hall, Auron more so than the others.
"Wha... what was that just now? That really Lord Jyscal?" Wakka asked, as clueless as Tidus on the matter.
"I don't understand how a man like Lord Jyscal could die and not be sent." Yuna said, more to herself than anyone.
"I would think that he was sent once...but he stayed on Spira. Something, a powerful emotion could have bound him to this world. Such things happen." Lulu said, trying her best to make light of the situation and calm everyone's uneasy states.
"That's against the rules, isn't it?" Rikku asked, dabbing her fingertip over lips.
"It means he died an unclean death." Auron finally spoke, silencing the others. The group left the long hallway, still in wonderment.
"I'll go...meet with Maester Seymour." Yuna stated, placing her fist over her palm. She meant business.
"Yuna! Jyscal is the Guado's problem, not yours." Auron said for the record, hoping that his words would make Yuna think twice about getting involved. He wanted to protect Seymour as well, for it was he who'd killed Jyscal. Though Jyscal didn't deserve to die... Auron couldn't help but agree with the motives behind Seymour's actions.
"I'm sorry."
October by Evanescence
I can't run anymore, I fall before you. Here I am, I have nothing left. Though I've tried to forget, you're all that I am; Take me home. I'm through fighting it, broken, lifeless, I give up: You're my only strength. Without you, I can't go on, anymore, ever again.
My only hope, all the times I've tried.
My only peace, to walk away from you.
My only joy, My only strength, I fall into your abounding grace.
My only power, My only life and love is where I am, my only love.
I can't run anymore, I give myself to you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. In all my bitterness, I ignored, all that's real and true, all I need is you. When night falls on me, I'll not close my eyes, I'm too alive, and you're too strong. I can't lie anymore, I fall down before you, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Constantly ignoring, the pain consuming me. But this time it's cut too deep, I'll never stray again.
The end.