Ten Questions That will change the Earth, a ranma fanfic

Ten Questions that will change your Life.

It was a beautiful sunny day in Nerima. Saotome Ranma should know, he had a bird's eye view of it. Below him he could see the school, the baths, the spire of the Christian church, a complete panorama of the ward's most photogenic buildings, moving by at a fair clip admittedly but it was at least one compensation. Because he knew what came next.

"OW!" he swore, peeling himself out of the smashed concrete, he had landed on the other said of the suburb, just short of an ornamental fountain, "Wow she missed, must be off her game."

"Errr, excuse me" came a voice in poorly accented Japanese, "are you alright?"

"Yeah, no worries" Ranma replied, dusting himself off and turning to face the speaker, "takes more than a trip across town to damage Saotome Ranma!" he added, suppressing a wince as his abused ribs disagreed.

"That happens often?" the speaker continued. He was a tall gaijin with dark hair. The suit he wore was not cheap, but hardly expensive and his shoes were likewise middle of the range. For once he also didn't appear to be a new challenger.

"yeah," Ranma agreed, "couple o' times a day"

"Sorry? Twice a day?" the man goggled.

"Yeah, 'cept when she's having 'girl problems', then it goes up to three or four,"

"She?"

"Yeah, Akane, my fiancee" Ranma explained.

"Your fiancee did this to you?" the man asked.
"Yep, one o' the anyway?"

"One of them? You have more"

"Yeah, she's the only one who mallets me," Ranma explained, and for a moment the man saw light peeking through, "the others normally try something else."

"Like what?" the man asked hesitantly.

"Oh, drugs, potions, flour bombs, explosives, razor spatulas, you know..." Ranma replied, picking bits of concrete out of his hair.

"No" the man replied slowly, "and I don't think I ever want to." Ranma shrugged.

"Anyway," the pig-tailed boy continued, "Better get back before she really does her nut!"

"Really does her nut?" the man echoed disbelievingly. Ranma nodded and turned, bracing himself to spring onto the roof nearby. "Wait!" the man called, and Ranma turned. "I want to give you something," he explained, "it made me the happiest I have ever been and..." he was holding out a book. Ranma tried not to sneer, but not very hard. Still it wouldn't do to be impolite.

"Cheers," he said less than enthusiastically. The man nodded and Ranma bounced away.

Needless to say Ranma didn't look at the book again for weeks. The flaming thing was in English anyway.

Then Hinako set the class a free writing exercise. All they had to do was write some sentences in English and Hirgana. That night Ranma found the book again. "Simple" he thought, "I'll write lines out form the book and then the job's done" It was only after he had copied the lines out that he realised he'd have to translate it anyway. "Damn!" he swore, another perfectly good plan ruined by reality.

He set to work with his dictionary.

"Ten, questions, that will change your wife" he concluded. "What on earth? I don't have a wife."

"Damn well better not Saotome!" came a voice from the doorway. Ranma looked up, it was Nabiki. She was standing there ion her cut-off shorts and tank-top combination and sucking on a lolly.

"I don't think Akane would appreciate that sort of thing," she teased.
"Lay off Nabiki" he entreated, "And aren't you supposed to be in college?"

"So what you got there?" she asked, moving into his room uninvited and pointedly not answering his question.

"Seems to be something about married woman martial arts" Ranma said, getting it completely wrong.

"Don't you mean Marital Arts" Nabiki teased, leaning over to look at the book. "Ranma" she said, "you are a dope."

"huh?"

"That says 'life' not 'wife'"

"Oh?" Ranma asked, "so what's the ryu?"

"Ranma" Nabiki offered condescendingly, "not everything in life is about martial arts." ranma looked at her quissically.

"Sure it is" he argued honestly. Nabiki just shook her head and left.

"If anyone ever needed a self-help book it was you" she called over her shoulder.

"Self-help book?" he queried. Now he knew it had to be about martial arts. Then it hit him, the questions thing, this must be a meditation book. Like those Zen questions about trees and clapping hands.

So Ranma redoubled his efforts. With tongue sticking out of the corner of his mouth and severe frown he attacked the unintelligible gibberish, beating its meaning out of it. Word by word he worked on the text, finally he came up with his first technique.

"Question One: What do YOU want?"

He looked at it, rereading the words over and over again. As arcane as any of the ancient texts he had ever faced. So what was the hidden meaning, the truth behind the words.

"I want to learn the new technique!" he insisted, and then it hit him. The question was bigger than that. "Whoa" he muttered his world suddenly rocked.

His light stayed on well into the early hours of the morning.

"Blearch!" Ranma spat, emptying the pond water from his mouth. He had, as per usual, been rudely awakened shortly after dawn. This time it had apparently been his father doing the honours.

"That's it Old Man" he called, launching himself at the descending bald man. "It's Sunday I wanted to sleep in!" he called. Only this time his father's voice wasn't the only one casting doubt on the claim.

"Oh the shame that my son is so feeble that he-" Genma complained, trying to wind Ranma up. But he got his normal response, a fight. However the voice in Ranma's head was not so easy to silence, did he really want to sleep in? Or was he happy to be challenged like this.

The fight roiled around the yard, bouncing off building and block-wall with no sign of surcease. Soon Ranma was smiling. He had worked it out, sure he wanted to spar, but yes he had wanted to lie in more, he needed the sleep.

"Suck on that old man!" he called, launching his father face first into one of the rocks next too the pond. "Perfect!" he congratulated himself as he landed, the fat man had bounced off the rock and was arcing, dazed into the pond.

"Ranma, stop messing about with your dad and hurry up!" Akane called from the doorway.

"Huh?" Ranma replied.

"Or did you forget we were going to visit Todai today?" she demanded. Ranma's face fell, of course he had forgotten. It had been the same ever since the application papers had come through, every Sunday he had been forced to go with the Tomboy to visit one college after another, and at each one he would be forced to listen to a lecture about how he should be studying harder. To say he wasn't looking forward to another visit was a severe understatement.

"Breakfast is on the table" Kasumi called. That was something that Ranma could deal with, food! He tore past the petulant tomboy at a rate of knots, hurling himself into his place.

"Oh my!" Kasumi observed, "Don't you want to change before you eat?" she asked.

"Nah. Eat. Then change" Ranma said, lifting an extra pair of chopsticks and licking his lips."Food too good to wait!"

"Oh thank you Ranma, its good to know my food is appreciated," she offered. Ranma nodded and motioned for her to lift the lids, she giggled and complied. He was just so funny when he was like this. He always brought an extra little sparkle to the mealtimes.

"Mmmmf-gh" Ranma replied, face down and shovelling.

Two hours later Ranma and Akane were walking silently across the campus of Tokyo's best university. Silently because Ranma had again managed to put his foot in it, and Akane had again managed to over-react and throw a childish strop over the careless words.

Up ahead the visitors were gathering for the welcoming speech. Akane's face suddenly brightened and she grabbed Ranma and dragged him towards the milling prospective students. Each one seemed to be smiling and rubbernecking like booney hicks in the big apple. They all also carried files. Each student had been told to bring a resume with them so that when they talked to the guidance officer he could give them an idea of where to concentrate their efforts to achieve entry. For most prospects this would mean their grade results to date and perhaps a few references from tutors, the the Furinikan duo this meant anything they could scrape up from the saner members of staff. Bringing a copy of their school records would have been at best counter-productive, at worst it would have seen the whole school thrown into a nut-house. Another nut-house.

"Welcome to Todai" the speaker called, "for most of you this will be as close as you ever get. For the lucky few this is but the beginning of your new life as embers of Japan's elite." Akane was already beaming with pride, as were several other egomaniacs in the crowd. "From here you will be broken into groups by surname and be interviewed. To save time some of those groups will begin on the tour and return for their interviews later."

"They have a two thousand seater theatre for the drama club," Akane hissed enthusiastically.

"Feh" replied Ranma, somewhat non-plussed.
"Oh I see, the only thing you care about is the dojo?" Akane sneered, "well don't get used to that either!" she said with a spiteful edge.

"Now everyone will listen carefully for their group numbers!" the man announced and whatever comment Ranma was going to come back with was lost. Akane was all set to lead Ranma wherever they were meant to go when she heard that they were to be in different groups. However she was getting to go on the tour first so he was quickly forgotten in favour of mingling.

"So young man," the guidance tutor opened, "that your file?" He was a short walrus like fellow with long drooping whiskers.

"Yes," Ranma replied, "My name-"

"Wait!" The man commanded, "I prefer to make my own judgements" When Ranma tried to argue the man hushed him again. "Ahh Furinikan," the man observed, nodding sagely. Ranma was going to offer some more information but was once again shushed before he could even get a word out.

The pig tailed martial artist was force to sit and wait while the man perused the file Unfortunately the room was warm and the chair comfortable, net result one sleeping Ranma.

"Saotome-san!" the man called, stirring the sleeping boy.

"Uh-what, twenty-seven" Ranma replied, bolting upright.

"Saotome -san" the man repeated, obviously put out. "This file tells me nothing!"

"Yeah well-" ran ma began, only to be interrupted again.
"What is it you claim to be good at?" the tutor asked.

"I don't Claim to be Good at anything," Ranma disagreed, "I'm the best."

"At what exactly?"

"The Mastsubetu kakuto Ryu" Ranma stated proudly.

"Martial arts?" the man guessed, "that explains a lot. Well how good are you, what rankings do you have?"

"ha" Ranma sneered, "I don't need rankings to tell me how good I am."

"But I do!" insisted the man. "very well I will write you a note. You will take it to the Dojo here, and he will give you a note to send back. Does that seem sensible?"

"Er, yes" Ranma replied, not quite sure why the man was quite so worked up.

"I will see you later then Saotome-san" the man said, handing him a handwritten note, and sighing with audible relief when Ranma took it and stood to go.

"Thanks sensei" Ranma replied, happily bounding out of the office..

From there he joined the small contingent of folk departing on the next tour. Already some had decided there was no point in participating, having been given bleak advice from their tutors.

The tour bored Ranma stupid. The group he was with were fascinated by things like the size of the libraries, the capacity of the student union, and indeed the co-educational accomodation, but for him it was so much brick and air.

Finally they came to the sports preserve, to one side of which stood an old, if not ancient, dojo. "Finally" Ranma muttered to himself, setting off for it.

"Excuse me!" called the guide, some snotty weed whose nasal tones had been driving Ranma up the wall since the puke opened his over-used mouth, "Where do you think you are going?" he demanded in his I-am-really-important-that's-why-I-have-no-mates tone.

"Got a note" Ranma replied, not even turning.

"Ah" accepted the anally retentive guide, a sound exponent of the power of 'notes'.

The Dojo's shoji doors were wide open as Ranma approached, indeed a class was going on. Ranma stood and watched. the class were at a level Ranma hadn't known since his age was still in single figures. The sensei was taking them through some of the most basic Kata of Aiku-jitsu, and doing it very laboriously. As Ranma watched he praised one student who was easily four degrees off true, and chided another who improvised an extra twist into his strike.

Ranma shook his head condascendingly. A fact that didn't go unnoticed by the sensei.

"Can I help you?" he asked poointedly.

"You're wrong" Ranma replied.

"What?" the man asked, his ire rising.

"That student you congratulated is worse now than he was earlier."

"Explain!" The sensei demanded.

"Now he is close enough to true that he will only notice he's wrong when it counts" Ranma replied, "You have made it harder for him to learn the right way."

"And who do you think you are to tell me my job?" the sensei replied, bristling.

"I am Saotome Ranma, heir to the Mastsubetu Kakuto Ryu," Ranma replied, "And I accept your challenge." The statement hit the instructor like a slap in the face.

"Right!" he declared, waving his hand to clear his students out of the way. Ranma scowled at such rude disregard, but shed his bag, coat and shoes before stepping into the hallowed place.

The sensei took up a textbook stance, and got even more furious when Ranma ignored him. Instead Ranma formally bowed to the dojo shrine. Only then did he turn around and face the infuriated, and somewhat shamefaced, sensei.

Ranma hit him with his trademark cocky-smile and a completely unguarded stance. The instructor replied as expected, he charged. In fairness the man as actually a lot better than Ranma expected, he could have wiped the floor with Akane for instance but not nearly good enough. For the first few seconds Ranma was forced to work very hard to make up for his initial assumptions, unfortunately for Anything Goes was nothing if not adaptable. Ranma dodged around him, forcing him to exert himself, stretch his abilities, the man responded, leaving the strictures of prescribed forms behind, and re-inventing himself to better face his opponent. It still was nowhere near enough. Then Ranma saw the man's demeanour change, from fury to resignation, and despair and a pang hit him right in the chest. He realised how this must look to the man's students. Ranma stepped in, blocked and knocked the man on his backside, enough was enough.

Sukabeke-sensei landed on his back and found he didn't have the breath to stand. Shame and despair warred in his chest, he could just hear the jeers. But there weren't any, instead when he looked he saw what his students saw, the victor standing with head bowed in respect. Ranma didn't get it right often but this was martial arts and he was in his element. Sukabeke-sensei sat up, shaking his head.

Ranma walked over and offered him a hand. The instructor accepted it gratefully and stood with a much cheerier face. "Serves me right?" he asked with a self-deprecating smile.

"Sorry man," Ranma offered, "I guess I should'a kept my gob shut till yer lesson finished."

"No it does a man good to be reminded that there are still people out there living the art," the man replied. "And unless I am mistaken you are not the sort of person who spends much time at home."

"Huh?" Ranma queried. By now the class was being ushered out and the floor swept.

"I used to be like you" the man continued, "travelling from place to place, dojo to dojo. Never calling any place home for any longer than it took to learn the forms." Ranma's lip curled and he tilted his head. Sukabeke didn't notice, he was too busy wiping the sweat from his brow and neck.

"Of course that all changed when I got married," the man continued.

"huh?" Ranma asked, cluelessly.

"Can't be a family man and a travelling artist, " the instructor explained, "wouldn't be fair to the kids."

"Wish somebody had told pops" Ranma muttered.

"Excuse me?" the man asked.

"Nothin'" Ranma replied, "So that was it then?"

"Marriage?" Yeah sure," Sukabeke replied. "After that it was a dojo, then diapers."

"Oh" Ranma offered, "but sureley, I mean, a dojo it doesn't have to..."

"Fraid so son. The gaijin have a saying 'those who can do, those who can't teach.' I'm living proof of that. No son, enjoy the life while you can, cuz sooner or later..."

"But," Ranma said slumping to the floor.

"You looked like I just signed your death warrant," the man observed.

"Nah" Ranma replied, downcast, "That was my dad."

"Oh."

The train trip back to Nerima was a very long one for Ranma. Not only was Akane prattling non-stop about how wonderful it was going to be for her at Todai, but the guidance man's words kept ringing through his head, "You need an education, who'll hire a sensei who can't get insurance. Who'll train under one without a qualification. The world has moved on since your father's time, if you want to make it in instructing then you'll need a degree!" After he had seen Sukabeke-sensei's note the man had been only too happy to talk entry for Ranma, even scholarships. But Ranma just couldn't shrug off the look in Sukabeke-sensei's eyes when he had realised Ranma was so much better than him.

"Is that what awaits me at the dojo?" he asked aloud.

"Huh?" Akane asked. "Have you listened to a word I have said?" she demanded, steam starting to leak around her ears. "No I guess you were too busy daydreaming about some floozy you met!"

"Lay off Akane" Ranma requested.

"Who was it, Ukyo? Shampoo? or maybe you're leching after the Old Ghoul now?" she demanded.

"That's it!" Ranma exclaimed happily, "The old ghoul!"

"WHAT!" demanded Akane, on her feet with a face threatening to burst.

"I've gotta see her!" Ranma continued obliviously, "She'll know what to do about my hard-" and at that point he was cut off, courtesy of air-Akane. As he disappeared through the train roof and into the evening air she could just make out him saying the word "choices" for some reason. "Nevermind" she told herself and happily sat back down. Seconds later she was smiling her way through a daydream about all the adoring crowds she would get as head of the Todai drama club.

"I'm sorry we're closed" called Cologne in response to the knocking at her door. "Oh it's you son-in-law, in that case please come in. I'm afraid Shampoo is still out doing deliveries but I am sure she will be happy to hear you called," she said with a hint of a smile.

"Knock it off Old Ghoul" Ranma replied, and was rewarded with a hefty whack on the head. "Ow, whatcha do that for?" he demanded. She just looked at him with one wrinkly eyebrow raised.

"Okay fine!" he said.

"So what can I do for you son-in-law?"

"I ain't yer-" again he was cut off with a swift blow

"You had better remember why you are here!" she corrected.

"Yeah" Ranma offered, suddenly lost, why was he here.

"You came to ask me something..." Cologne prompted.

"Yeah that's it!" Ranma replied happily, "How'd ya know?" Again she stared at him. "Okay fine! I guess it is that obvious."
"So what's the question grass-hopper" she re-prompted.

"Er its complicated," Ranma began, only to be cut off again.

"In that case I willl get some tea, It has been a long day and I am not as young as I used to be."

"You can say that again" Ranma muttered as she stepped into the kitchen, this time it was a well aimed chopstick that hit him. "Ow, stupid old mumm..." he grumbled.

"So ask away" Cologne prompted when she returned, teapot and cups balanced in one hand.

"Well its like this" Ranma began, "I met this guy today-"

"Oh really" Cologne mused, hiding a smile. "That could be a problem but-"

"Not Like that!" Ranma shouted.

"Sorry, please go on," Cologne replied, not the least bit sorry. Ranma took a deep breath, shot her a angry glance and began pouring the tea.

"Anyway he was like a Sensei at Todai-" he started.

"Todai?"

"The university?" Ranma supplied, and Cologne nodded. She returned the favour, filling his cup. "Anyway it turns out he used to be a fighter like me" he explained, "Well not quite like me. I mean he was nowhere near as-" he was 'reminded' to stay on topic, forcefully. "But, where was I? Oh yeah, but he got married see and then he had to settle down and.."

"I see" replied Cologne, "I have long expected this to cross your mind and I am glad you came to me with it."
"Well you seem to have managed" Ranma replied, "I mean you're a techer an stuff but you're still fairly good. Even if you are a dried up-"

"You were doing so well there" Cologne mused. Then she sipped her tea thoughtfully. "You are concerned that should you become a teacher you will lose yourself in the same way this Toady fellow did."

"Todai" Ranma corrected, and recieved another smack on the head for his efforts. "And yea sort of" he added, rubbing his head.

"A very valid concern. May I ask what made you think on it?"

"Well, ya see" Ranma began, "I got this new instruction manual and -"

"May I see it?" Cologne asked. Ranm,a shrugged and produced it. she had to fight down her smile as she saw the nature of his newest 'instruction manual.'

"You see I translated the first section and its this Zen thing. you know one hand knocking a tree down in the forest without making a sound and all that?"

"Yes son-in-law" Cologne replied charitably.

"Well this question is 'What do you want?'" Ranma explained. As Cologne turned to the page he went on. "Well it got me thinking. Obviously its a little more complicated than what it seems so I thought a little more and I came up with it." he finished with a smile of triumph.

"And?" she pormpted.

"I came up with a lot of stuff, you know curing the curse, getting through a sinlge day without being malletted, not having Kuno chasing me, beating on my dad, eating a fine meal, ya know lots of stuff. But then I sorta boiled it all down, I mean all that stuff's nice but I can live without it but there is one thing. Ya see its who I am, an what I am... I wanna be the best," Ranma beamed, "not that I ain't just now but ...you know" Ranma huriedly covered and then drifted.

"Yes I believe I understand."

"Nah" Ranma argued, "I don't think you do."

"Explain"she prompted.

"Its like this. being better than others is like fantastic and all but it ain't enough." he attempterd and Cologne nodded, "I habe to be the best I can be. Ya know?" he finished, leeting out a breath.

"So?" she prompted.
"So that means I gotta do everything I can to make it happen ya know." he explained.

"Indeed." Cologne agreed, "That is Question Two, 'What are you doing about it?'"

"It is?" Ranma replied, amazed. "Cool!"

So what are you going to do?" she asked.

"I dunno yet" Ranma replied, "but I gotta..."

"Son-in-law" Cologne interjected as he trailed off. "These are the decisions that will determine what type of man you will become. Do not hurry them." He nodded. "But" she continued, "when you have made a decision come back and talk to me. I shall help you however I can."

"Thanks Old ghooul" Ranma replied, bounding out of reach of her staff, and into the doorframe. "Owch!" he decalared, "sneaky old..."

Cologne watched him go with a real smile on her face. The boy was becomeing a man and it was a fine sight, "Now" she mused, "What to do about it?"