This is my first Quinn/Puck fan fiction ever; actually it's my first Glee fic. So I hope you enjoy it. There may be some sexual references, but nothing specific.
Please review! I love reviews.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Just hold me
The summer had ended fast and before even thinking about it, Quinn Fabray had worn her Cheerio's outfit again. Autumn had gone by and before even thinking about it, a new guy had found the way through her fake smile. New Year's Eve had existed, but she hadn't really paid attention to the fireworks and 2011.
Quinn was sitting on her bed, music sheets around her and the Cheerio's outfit in her wardrobe. Her heart was heavy. Even if she hadn't loved Sam, but still their break-up hurt her. They had been the perfect couple. He, the quarterback and she, the cheerleader. But it had felt so wrong, so false and fake. They had only been together for their reputation. Because everyone else wanted to see them together.
Now she was alone, again. Quinn didn't want anybody around her, or that was what she told herself. Just a lie to get over the sad feelings inside her. The music was loud and she didn't care about her parent's angry shouts on the other side of the locked door. She just turned up the volume of the hi-fi system.
She heard the only song she wanted to hear, over and over again, in an infinite loop. Beth. The song on the CD was just a poor excuse for the version she wanted to hear, Puck's version. And it was a miserable replacement for her baby, their Beth.
Quinn had heard people gossiping behind her back, more than once. Talking about her selfish reasons, giving her own daughter up for adoption. But they didn't know anything. Nobody knew, except Puck, maybe. She wasn't sure.
They hadn't talked much since Beth's birth. There had been a few nice words in school, a few lyrics sung together in the glee club or a smile that was only meant for the others eyes. Quinn didn't want to admit, but she missed Puck.
A text message threw her out of her dream. From: Puck
How r u?, he wanted to know.
Fine. U?, she lied. He wouldn't notice in a text message. A few minutes went by and she doubted that he would answer. Finally her cell phone ringed.
Liar. I can hear the music. Immediately after reading it, Quinn put her phone away and looked outside. Puck was standing down, trying to get up the tree. His fingers gripped some branches until he had the right high to jump into her room. He landed with his feet on the window board.
Quinn grabbed his hand and helped him in.
"Thanks." he coughed and clapped the dirt from his trousers. His eyes saw the hi-fi system and his ears heard his song. Beth ended and Puck stopped another replay. Seeing him here almost brought her to tears. "Stop." she said. "Please stop." Quinn begged and Puck gazed into her hazel eyes.
"Stop what?"
"Distracting me, by coming into my house."
"Okay, please stop crying." She hadn't noticed that tears already rolled down her cheeks. "What's wrong?" he asked.
"Noah Puckerman, why did you come to my house?" His full name gave her the courage to look into his eyes, though she was still crying.
He shrugged. "I wanted to know if you are fine. And you obviously aren't."
"No, I'm not." Quinn now shouted. The thought of her parents downstairs made her speak quieter.
"I'm not fine. I'm alone. I feel alone. I'm empty. Nothing works right at the moment. I'm just like Beth in your song. She's waiting for you to come home, she's feeling alone and empty, just like me. I'm waiting for you; I want you to come home to me. But I'm not allowed to think so, because I don't own you. I'm not your girlfriend, I don't deserve you. I'm selfish. I gave away our baby and I miss her. I miss Beth. And I miss you so much. It would be the best if I just move on like you and everybody else did." She cried even more. Puck wrapped his arms around Quinn's shivering body and tried to calm her.
He lifted her up from the floor and carried her to her bed. Slowly Puck sat down and rocked her like a baby. "I haven't moved on. I just don't let anybody know. And there's nobody who asks." Puck admitted, but he stared on the wall. Quinn stopped sobbing. Her breath went normal again and she sat up, but still sitting on his lap.
She sighed in relief. "Neither have I. I just can't stop thinking about her, and you… and us."
"Do you think I don't? I only think. Too much for a boy at high school, I think." Finally he could look into her face.
"But we aren't just pupils. We are parents too. In our heads, I mean. Not like real parents after all…" Quinn's voice cracked. Her eyes started watering again.
Puck nodded softly. A caring look in his eyes made her feel better. "I know what you mean, Q."
"Sorry for my little emotional break-down." A little bit embarrassed, she put her blonde hair behind her ears.
"No problem. I'm here for you." His fingers touched her fragile face and both knew he wanted to kiss her.
Quinn smiled. She bent to his soft lips until they touched hers. A warm feeling rushed through her whole body and she started glowing. This felt right.
She ended their kiss and stood up. "Do want to spend the night here?"
"Quinn…" Puck stuttered. "… I don't think…" He remembered a day months ago, with wine coolers. Getting her pregnant again, was the last thing he wanted.
She laughed, it was the first time it was real and reached her eyes. "I'm not going to have sex with you; I only asked if you wanted to sleep with me. There is a difference between these two phrases."
"Not for me." He could have slapped himself for this, but Quinn seemed not to care and put off her clothes and slipped into her pyjama. Puck immediately recognized it. It was one of his football-shirts and a boxer short, he had missed since… Since Quinn had moved out of his house.
She saw is wondered looks. "I liked to wear it when I was pregnant. And I still like it." He had no idea what do answer so he just laughed.
"You can keep it." he said. Quinn nodded.
"That was what I had planned." she walked to her bed. With her fingers she brushed through his hair. "It's good that your mohawk is back. That makes you look like my Puck, my baby's daddy."
"You mean you wouldn't love me without a mohawk?"
"No. It just means I love you even more with a mohawk. You can shave your hair, dye them pink… I don't care. I only want you." Confessions had never been easy for Quinn, but this one was the first she didn't regret. She switched on the radio again. She wanted to hear Beth again.
Puck took her hands and pulled her to him on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her again and he'd hold her tight, until both of them fell asleep. Quietly their soundtrack repeated over and over again, both couldn't get sick of hearing it.
"Do you love me?" Quinn finally asked.
"Yes, especially now." Puck kissed her and held her in his arms. And then she fell asleep, her head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around her body. Both of them slept deep and quiet, the first time in months. And they didn't regret anything.
