-1This was inspired by the loss of someone I loved very much- I have no doubt I will always feel something special for him, so this is my memoir for him and all that he was to me.

I appreciate anything you give but know anything you say that even smells like a flame will be ignored and deleted.

Feeling desolate Hikaru looked around the empty room as his eyes fell on the vacant wardrobe. The doors had been flung open and the familiar feeling of loss and repulsion settled in the pit of his stomach. He stood slowly from bed and gazed at the stray hangers and the drawers. They reminded him cruelly of what had just happened- it was almost as if Kaoru was still there, his pained voice ringing throughout the room, taunting him.

It wasn't supposed to end this way. What had only a few moments ago been a room filled with emotion and overflowing with the sounds of desperate voices had now become a void and bleak four walls, barely a room to contain such misery.

Tears had over flown and hands had been held out, begging for the return of those familiar fingers, but his heart refused and he left, slamming the door behind him. All that hadn't been broken lay waiting for the moment to fall and finally shatter and join all the rest of the wrecked pieces of his life. If anyone had bothered to come for him, they would have seen him kneeling beside the bed clinging to what he had left of Kaoru- his own heaving shoulders, the very likeness of him. The silence hung in the air, and had anyone bothered to step in and console him, they would have been able to hear the soft sound of his heart breaking into tiny pieces.

The room held it's breath, waiting for the door to open again and arms to release and soothe the ache in the poor boys' hearts.

Hikaru stood slowly and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the room that had lost all it's familiarity. His heart felt vacant, much like the empty wardrobe, open wide, empty and exposed.

Then, quietly, the sobs began. They were soft and gentle at first, as if he had become a little boy again and found himself in a place that was lonely and strange. The sound was frightening and harsh, coming from him, and the seeping tears began to overflow until the sobs shook his entire body, quivering with a tremor that was his despair.

The bright room had turned to darkness- the bed that used to be a place of warmth and comfort now housed the barren shell of a boy whose spirit had shattered. The phone lay waiting to be called to duty in his hand and yet the tears returned, and slowly but surely he remembered to breathe. His lungs moved harshly as he gulped air into his body and collapsed, in exhaustion, trying to ignore how the pillow he clung to still smelled like him- much like his heart still clung to that love.

It wasn't supposed to end like this.

This was a serious piece….O.o

So sorry for those looking for a happy fic, I had to get this out of my system and the couple could be anybody- I just picked Hikaru and Kaoru since there are so many angst fics for them I thought I'd contribute.

For anyone who's looking for a happier fic, don't worry! I'm working on a happy one now!

Thanks for reading R&R plz if you can spare a moment.