Blaine's alarm clock went off. He sat up to turn it off then rolled back into bed. It was his bed, the bed he had slept in for eighteen years. Yet it didn't feel right; it wasn't the right sheets, the right pillows, the familiar smell, and there wasn't a fall in the mattress next to him. Which meant the thing Blaine kept trying to forget; this was his bed, not Kurt's.
I wanna be drunk when I wake up
On the right side of the wrong bed
And every excuse I made up
Tell you the truth I hate
What didn't kill me
It never made me stronger at all.
Blaine exhaled and rolled out of bed. He stood in front of his closet, trying to figure out what color scheme to go with today. His phone went off, and he honestly wasn't very surprised to realize it was a text from Kurt. What he didn't expect was the contents of the message; it just told him what to wear. Of course Kurt would know he was nervous about what to wear, and new his wardrobe well enough to tell him exactly what to wear and how to wear it. Blaine smiled to himself and set his phone down, ready to find the outfit Kurt told him to wear.
Love will scar your make-up lip sticks to me
So now I'll maybe leave back there
I'm sat here wishing I was sober
I know I'll never hold you like I used to.
The two hours Blaine spent driving to McKinley every day where still long, just like last year. Once he turned to engine one, Blaine reached over to where Kurt would sit. Mostly, it was out of habit, but a little bit of himself knew there wouldn't be a hand there to hold his, but at least one thing should be the same, even if it was half-hearted. The rest of the car ride was spent trying really reallyhard to not think about Kurt being so far away. Really, he did try. He even ignored the Lime Bean when he drove by even though it was a good twenty minutes out of his way. He also ignored it the second time he drove by, and the third. The fourth time he thought he might as well get some coffee while he was there, and driving while drinking was just illegal -sort of- so staying and sitting at a table seemed the only logical thing to do. And the table with the best view of the, umm, ceiling was in the middle, which just happened to be the table he was used to sitting at.
But our house gets cold when you cut the heating
Without you to hold I'll be freezing
Can't rely on my heart to beat it
'Cause you take part of it every evening
Take words out of my mouth just from breathing
Replace with phrases like when you're leaving me.
When Blaine stood up to leave, he realized the cup he was holding was full. Blaine must have just- no, he didn't order two medium drips. That would just be ridiculous. But, he had more coffee that he needed to finish, so he should just drink it, right? But the second he tasted what he was drinking, he choked for a second and put the non-fat mocha down and ran out of the shop.
Should I, should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love
But he promised he wouldn't go back to Scandals. He promised himself, and wasn't going to break that promise.
: e/ed+sheeran/drunk_ ]
I wanna hold your heart in both hands
I'll watch it fizzle at the bottom of a Coke can
And I've got no plans for the weekend
So shall we speak then
Keep it between friends
Though I know you'll never love me like you used to.
And maybe that wasn't such a bad thing. I mean, sure Kurt would always love him, but it just- it wouldn't be the same. They'll be grown up next time they get to see each other every day and yeah, maybe that means there love will be more mature or something, which should be better. But the high school love, something that Blaine used to dream about all the time, it would never be back. It would just be college love, or post-graduate love, or…something else love. Not that Blaine wasn't looking forward to the rest of his life with Kurt! Maybe he was a little bit scared of growing up and everything else it entitled. But really, if he's being honest with himself, he would be happy to stay where he is; a teenager with Kurt, with nothing to worry about except what duet to sing with his boyfriend. Being in Ohio isn't exactly the best thing, but he would be fine with it if it meant things going back to the way they were. But time doesn't really work that way.
There may be other people like us
You see the flicker of the clip when they light up
Flames just create us, burns don't heal like before
You don't hold me anymore.
He stepped into the busy halls of McKinley, trying to find his way to his locker through all the students. This time, though, he took a new route to his locker because, well, he had a new locker. When asked about it, he said it was because it was more convenient for his new schedule, and honestly it was a bit closer to a few of his classes, but that certainly wasn't the reason. It was actually because that locker was close to one of his favorite spots in the school, which really seemed to be nothing special to most people. What was important about one of the many hallways in a high school? To Blaine, it was where he was happiest, because it where he felt like somehow, Kurt was still there; still hugging him like when he first transferred, or being as honest as he was when Kurt became junior prom queen. For a hall way, some of the best memories he had with Kurt were right there. Blaine smiled, remembering that this wasn't going to be forever. He'd see Kurt soon.
On cold days Coldplay's out like the band's the name
I know I can't heal things with a hand shake
You know I can't change as I began saying
You cut me wide open like landscape
Open bottles of beer but never champagne
We'll applaud you with the sound that my hands make.
Blaine made it through a solid five minutes before all of his thoughts were filled with Kurt. It wasn't really his fault though, not when his English teacher assigned a timed write over what they did during the summer. Blaine smiled to himself and began to write.
This summer, I spent every possible moment I could with my boyfriend, Kurt Hummel. Although many may argue that nine sleepovers in a row are a bit too much, I believe that there is no way I could spend too much time with Kurt.
Not the best thesis Blaine has done, but he wasn't about to complain when his teacher forced him to write about how much he loves being around Kurt. That was the assignment, right?
Should I, should I?
Maybe I'll get drunk again
I'll be drunk again
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love.
The next morning, Blaine didn't wake up with the same hope he had before. The next week, he was falling behind in most of his classes, and a month later he had all but lost his mind. So he broke his promise and went to Scandals, and then again the following Friday, and before he knew it, Blaine was putting off practically everything in favor of forgetting how sad he was and drinking for a few hours. Blaine didn't enjoy skipping Glee practice, but he couldn't make it through the class without missing his boyfriend so badly it hurt. Mr. Shue was fairly patient with him at first, but as time went on Blaine got less and less solos and became a permanent member of the back row.
All by myself
I'm here again
When Kurt came back for the holidays, he found out about how much time Blaine spent at the bar. He defiantly wasn't happy about it.
All by myself
You know I'll never change
Blaine apologized, saying that it was because he missed Kurt so much and just couldn't deal with it on his own. Kurt didn't understand why his boyfriend kept getting drunk at the worst times, and was this close to slapping him before deciding that probably wasn't the best idea. Instead, he told Blaine that if he ever did anything that stupid again, he would not hesitate to slap him into next week, which was followed by a good half hour of kissing, Kurt calling Blaine an idiot, and Blaine smiling at how much he loved that voice no matter what it said.
All by myself
All by myself
Blaine never went to Scandals again.
I'm just drunk again
I'll be drunk again
He missed Kurt even more. Then, once he finally accepted Kurt was in New York, he started to go back to how he was before Kurt left; happy. He still missed his boyfriend like crazy, but it was almost like he was still there when Blaine got a solo again. Almost. Blaine was still alone in Lima, but this time he wasn't getting addicted to alcohol. He was singing about it.
I'll be drunk again
To feel a little love