A/N: Woohoo. First fanfiction. It's...in a word...funny. So yeah. Read and enjoy!! D BTW, this is the Voice's Blog...Heh.
USER PROFILE
Username: MaXiMuMvOiCe
Location: Somewhere above Germany and in California at the school at the same time…
Position: Floating
Hair: …Nonexistent…
Eyes: …Again…Nonexistent…
Height: 50,000 feet up. Oh, you meant how tall I am?? …Nonexistent…
Hobbies: Bugging Max, invading her life, seeing everything she sees, yelling at her for killing her brother, giving her phantom credit cards, making fun of ter Borcht's accent, and golfing.
Favourite Celebrity: Emily Dechanel
Favorite Food: Desert Rat
Favourite Catchphrase: You have to trust me, Max.
Tuesday
Chase got fired? WTF?! That was a stupid finale! Chase rocked. Max thinks it's weird that a Voice in her head wants to watch TV, but heck; she makes me sit through Grey's Anatomy, so there.
Today, Max found who I was! And get this; she didn't kill me! Although, I am a bit afraid to bug her at the mo... Ah well, she'll get over it. I hope…What if she tries to kill me? She could, like, do that clapping-over-my-ears thing!! I'm scared of that! Or, or, or!! She could give me a round-house kick, like she does to Air and stuff. Or, or she won't let me watch House! I would DIE!!
…I guess I could watch the show at the school…But then Borchty would laugh at me… (He says the show is dumb…But he likes Traveler, so he shouldn't be talkin'!) The two of us went bowling last night. I beat him so bad he left the alley, crying. Sucker!!
But here's a MORE interesting topic: GOLFING!! Dr. Martinez and I went golfing after Max left, but Ella ended up crashing the golf-kart into a tree, so we got kicked out. We told her she was too young, but nooooooo, she just wouldn't listen. So, we had to end our golf-game. I was sad. 'Cuz I like golf. It is fun. And nice. And smarticle. I made that word up. See? Golf makes you smarterer.
Well, I'm off, my loyal readers. I have to go and bug Max some more. She's supposed to save the world one day, y'know. And for the record, I only said The Director looks pregnant because she's hot…
MaXiMuMvOiCe OuT!
COMMENTS:
Subj: WOOOOOOOT!
What now, Peeps!? First post! OMG, Voice, ur, like, ema-zing! I, like, 2tally luuuuv ur blog!
(Posted by –cuteypie1234321-)
Subj: …You're weird…
……Dude. You SERIOUSLY need to get a life. Get a hobby or something…
(Posted by Fang)
RE: Subj: …You're weird…
I find that insulting! I am not wei…No, no wait… Yeah I am. But you're weird too! You have WINGS! So there. Besides, I DO have a hobby. I like to golf.
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Subj: Not funny!
My accent in not funny! I demand you quit making fun ov it dis minute, or I vill make your life miserable! Oh, nice blog by de vay.
(Posted by Borchty565)
Subj: WHOA…
Um…You know you're me, right?
(Posted by JBatchelder0)
RE: Subj: WHOA…
Of course I know I'm you, you idiot! Sheesh, you always want to steal the credit… And take some lessons on finding a better username. Yours lacks originality, I'm afraid. Talk to Borchty, if you must.
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Wednesday
Yay! Bones is on! Too bad I can't watch it though, on account of Max doesn't like that show either. Oh, but of course, she likes Grey's Anatomy! She wouldn't miss it! Not even if she had to go SAVE THE WORLD when it was on. I mean, at least 24 is on at a better time!! Sheesh.
After I bugged Max a little bit, yesterday, and am still alive, I decided to go and make a flying kitty. I know, I know, I shouldn't make flying anything, but I just couldn't help it! They looked so cute and fluffy. I have no willpower.
So when I was done making my flying kitty, I gave her a name. I decided on Patch, just 'cuz it was a cute name. No irony intended.
So, once I gave ol' Patchy a name, I decided to teach her how to use the litter box. Lemme tell you, that is not an easy task, especially when you're dealing with a flying kitty. Maybe I should have just bought a regular kitty…? Nah, that would be boring! Why settle for a regular kitty when you can get a flying kitty? You see my logic? Ha, I knew it! Max always says I'm dumb, and that I don't have any logic, or common sense, and I'm mean and cruel, but I say different! I do too have common sense! And now, I just proved that I AM logical! So THERE, Max! What now?!
After I taught her how to use the litter box, we went to go play golf! YAY GOLF!! She's very good at retrieving things, especially gold balls. Although, she had a hard time getting the ones that made it in the hole… Actually, now that I mentioned that, how did she get those balls…? No, never mind, it's probably best I didn't know. Knowledge in my hands tends to become dangerous, Max says that.
I taught her how to fly and use the golf-kart while we played golf. I think she might be a better driver than me! Definitely better than Ella. I don't know how I'm going to pay for that golf-kart…Maybe, I could borrow the Flock's phantom credit card? Hm… The possibilities are endless. Endless, I tell you!!
MaXiMuMvOiCe OuT!
COMMENTS:
Subj: WOOOOOT!
YAY! 1st post agan! I, lke, 2tally luuuuv u, Voice! Ur, lke, 2tally ema-zing! I, lke, luuv ur blog!! Kyaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!! OMGZ!! LOL!!
(Posted by –cuteypie1234321-)
RE: Subj: WOOOOOT!
Yes, yes, thank you Lissa. But I have to tell you; it's quite hard to understand what your saying, seeing as I'm a Voice and all. I wonder if you ever went to school?? You should get a better grammar teacher. What grade did you get in spelling?
(Posted by MaXiMuMvOiCe)
Subj: Haha!
You're soo funny, Voice! Nice blog, too! You should check out ours! maximumride.!! I post on there sometimes, too!! Although, I should tell you, Max said to quite bugging her or else she'll kick you out of her head. Now that you mention it, that flying kitty sounds a lot like Total…Except that he can't fly. But he can jump really, really high! I wonder what color Patch is? Does she have a patch on her back? That would be soo cute! Wouldn't it? Total is completely black and… -TWO PAGES LATER- …and I mean, she just walked right on by, and we never got our Starbucks. It stunk!
(Posted by nUdGe!!)
RE: Subj: Haha!
Nooo! Don't let her kick me out! No! I won't leave! You can't make me! NOOO!
Thank you for the blog address, it really is quite fascinating. A truly remarkable blog. At least SOMEONE is nice to me… (Sniffles)… And I would appreciate it if you would refrain from rambling for two pages on my blog next time you comment…
Subj: So dat is how you vant it!
Vhat about me, Voice? I sought vhat ve had vas special! Now, you replace me for dis…dis animal!? I feel so unlohved!!
(Posted by Borchty565)
RE: Subj: So dat is how you vant it!
Sorry, Borchty, I couldn't help myself! You know how I get with cats and wings! Patchy doesn't have an annoying accent, either…
Subj: …You STILL need a hobby…
Dude, GOLF ISN'T WORKING FOR YOU!! Get a non-sport-related hobby, like knitting…
P.S. … What makes you think we'd let you borrow our credit card??
(Posted by Fang)
Subj: Heh, you're funny Voice, but really…
Nice hobbies… You're my freakin' DAD, and you're hobbies are bugging me, tormenting me, etc… Yeah, love you too, Dad. Hint sarcasm.
Besides, you don't have any common sense, logic, or smarts, you are dumb, and you are mean and cruel. It's just the way you are. Don't beat yourself up over it too hard, 'kay?
P.S. This one's for Fang: You can't think of a better username than 'Fang'? Where's your originality??
(Posted by Indestructably-Max890)
A/N: Mwahahahaha. Review, please! Thanks, Jiggy