A story also known affectionately (affection ... with a lot of swearing and fist shaking when I got blocked three quarters of the way through) as 'Steve'. I mean ... a story definitely NOT called Steve!
Definitely, definitely not called Steve.
For my niece, because she chose me. ;)
... And because she betas for me (all remaining mistakes are my own) and goes all Paula Haas on my ass when I'm not tapping out fic fast enough.
Castle knew her so well, they were both well aware of the fact. He knew her maybe even better than she knew herself, sometimes she was sure of it – though she'd never admit it to him. She knew that he'd notice the change in her almost instantly, despite the subtly of it, but was also fairly confident that he wouldn't figure out right away just exactly why she was acting differently.
She looked at him in a different way, more thoughtfully and for longer seconds. She looked sadder as well. The strength and determination were still there but tinged with an edge of sadness and a hint of something else Castle couldn't read. Longing? He pondered, resolving to keep that thought quiet while his dear detective was still armed.
He noticed, too, when her touches began to linger just a moment longer as he handed over her coffee every morning. She'd let her knuckles bump against his when they were walking side by side. She'd brush against him when they were standing in the elevator. Most recently though, today, while they were leaning back against the edge of her desk staring at the murder board, she'd canted her body towards him, her upper arm resting against his as she let her weight rest slightly against him.
Castle was sure that at any moment her head would come to rest against his shoulder but he didn't dare hope. She drew a deep breath in through her nose, her bottom lip disappearing behind her teeth. Castle turned his head slightly to catch a glimpse of her while her gaze was still focussed on the board in front of them, making sure not to move his body. She looked exhausted; dark circles under each of her eyes and deeper lines at their corners, her skin looked paler and her blinks were milliseconds longer than they normally were.
"Let's call it a day, Beckett," Castle said. "We aren't getting any further tonight, it's already well after ten." He said checking his watch. The bullpen was nearly deserted and Beckett had sent Ryan and Esposito home hours ago, remaining with Castle to scrutinise over the details and timeline of the case. Beckett sighed and nodded, looking from him back to the murder board briefly before pushing away from the desk, away from Castle, and moving around to gather her belongings.
"We'll come back in the morning with fresh eyes, ok?" Castle said attempting to pour as much reassurance into the statement as he could. "We'll get him, you'll get your guy, after food and sleep."
"Ok," She nodded, glancing up at Castle as she picked up her jacket and he did the same. The look was there again, the unidentified emotion. It was longing, Castle decided quickly, a longing for comfort. A longing to be near another human being, she was seeking solace and consolation with her eyes and with simple subtle touches.
"Food, then sleep," Castle reiterated before his brain registered it, the words were tumbling out of his mouth. "So what are you craving, Detective Beckett?" He asked reaching out and adjusting the collar of her jacket as she shrugged into the heavy material. "Pizza?" He asked as they headed towards the elevator, emboldened by the fact she hadn't turned him down outright. She hadn't huffed an unamused laugh, she hadn't rolled her eyes, she'd simply kept in step with him as they headed across the bullpen.
"Chinese?" Beckett offered after a moment of silence, standing waiting for the elevator car to reach them.
"I could go for Chinese," Castle nodded. He opened his mouth to say something but changed his mind, then, changed his mind again. "Come back to the loft and we'll order in from our favourite place, it's open all night and it shouldn't be too long of a wait. It's not far from my building. I'm sure we can find a mindless movie on one of the thousand cable channels available and we can stretch out and relax for a while. We can run theory, if you like, or not." He shrugged, reaching out an arm to hold the elevator doors open.
"Thank you, Castle," Beckett whispered as she stepped into the elevator car ahead of him. "I," She stopped as she turned to face him when he stepped up beside her. "Thank you," She said offering him a half smile. "I'm kind of tired, you drive?" She asked and Castle looked at her in disbelief, blinking quickly. Beckett rolled her eyes before silently handing him the keys. "Shut your mouth, Castle, you look like you're catching flies." She said reaching forward and hitting the button for the lobby.