The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,But I have promises to keep,And miles to go before I sleep.
And miles to go before I sleep.
-Robert Frost "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening"
Shepard was suddenly aware of a thick darkness that surrounded her. She couldn't remember what happened. Voices whispered her name. Some familiar, some unknown to her. A woman's voice called out, "I love you my little one." Was that her mother? Only a vague face with indistinct features came to mind. Another voice called out, "You saved me." Her mind latched onto that small voice. A voice she had not heard in many ages. A voice from her past. It was Rachel. The young girl she had taken under her wing. Another child of the streets. She remembered her smiling face surrounded by a sea of brown curls. She remembered holding her small, broken body. Killed by a fellow gang member. Rachel was dead. Her mother was too.
Her eyes searched the darkness around her. Where was she? Was she dead? Before the voices, she remembered shooting the power conduit and the Citadel exploding around her. She felt nothing. No pain. No gravity. No sense of anything except the darkness. She must be dead. The realization hit her hard.
She cried out into the darkness. "No! I refuse to be dead. There is still so much left for me." If she had had form, tears would have run down her face and she would have pounded the ground in frustration. "How dare you dangle a future in front of me, only to take it away!" She accused the unfeeling darkness. "I was supposed to retire after this. Settle down and raise a few kids! Find out what life's like when you aren't having to fight for every second." A high, pained keening filled her mind, startling her at first, until she realized that the sound was herself.
Then from the darkness came Rachel's voice again. "Kaie, there's peace to be found here. No pain. No demands placed upon you. It is lovely here. Stay and sleep."
She thought about Rachel's words. "It sounds like you are saying I have a choice in the matter." Her voice was raw and bitter.
"You do. You are not quite dead yet. We pulled you here to spare you the pain of a slow death. But if you decide to return, there will be much pain. Loss and suffering is all that you will find in the mortal world," Rachel told her, her voice soft and soothing.
Kaie could feel the desire to stay. True peace was something to enjoy, not run away from. Why was she shying away from that? But then, her mind brought up an image; Garrus looking down at her, his strong arms wrapped around her waist. The faintest of whispers brushed across her memory, "I love you, Shepard." His deep voice pulled at her. "Come back alive. It'd be an awfully empty galaxy without you."
That solidified everything for her. She wasn't going to give up. To meekly go to death. What was that line Ash had quoted once from some poet? "Many miles to go before I sleep." She was not going to sleep now.
"I want to go back. I don't want to die." She called out, hoping whoever was in charge heard her.
"Very well, Kaie." Rachel called out. "See you next time."
And suddenly, the numbing darkness was gone. Replaced with a different type of darkness. Not such an absolute dark. Pain flooded her brain and unconsciousness pulled at her, trying to bring her back under. But, her mind set, she refused to fall under. She had a turian waiting for her.