All of the characters of Invader Zim belongs to Mr. Jhonen Vasquez and not Hell's Tinkerbell. Read and enjoy.
Part 1 An Irken Opera Star is Born
It had been a typical morning for the children of The Skool. The average begrudging routine had been broken with Miss Bitters' harshly spoken announcement to her students in the classroom. "The principal has assigned this classroom to perform in the talent show that is to occur tomorrow. Each student is required to perform in the show with his/her talent." The students had complained in unison with a resounding moan.
Zim raised his hand with a quizzical expression on his face. "Yes, what is it Zim?" Ms. Bitters asked with irritation in her tone. "Ms. Bitters, what is a talent?" Zim asked. "A talent is something entertaining that you do in front of everyone on a stage like singing annoying songs, dancing in a disgustingly cute way, or do mediocre magic tricks." the phantom-like teacher explained. Zim's forehead began to condensate with sweat. An uncontrollable anxiety possessed him as he stared at the orange flyer from across the room with the supposedly perky words that spelled out the words Talent Show. I don't know what my talent is…I want to show that I can do talents like any other normal human on this revolting wasteland of a planet…he thought desperately.
"What's wrong, Zim? Don't have talent shows where you come from?" Dib asked in his usual patronizing manner. "Yes, and where I came from. We have more stellar performances than the stink people here do!" Zim replied in defense. "Yeah, sure you do. We shall see if you can perform an ounce of talent from that squiddlyspooch of yours." Dib said with a wicked grin. Zim narrowed his eyes with aggravation and shouted, "Every cell in my body has more talent than you do in your birth sack!" "I'm male and human females do not have birth sacks." Dib said. "Oh, what is it called then?" Zim asked. "Uterus." he answered. "Okay, well…what ever you have in you, I will show all of you true talent!"
Meanwhile…
Gir had been playing with a toy helicopter, laughing the whole time while causing it to hover in random areas of the room by a remote control. He did not seem to notice that his master had entered the room with incoherent ranting beneath his breath and slamming the door behind him which caused the glass in the windows to shatter. "How dare that Dib say that I can not do talents like a normal human! Yes…yes…yes…I'll show all of them what real Irken talent can do!" Zim shouted at the top of his lungs. His robot had mimicked the sound of a swooping airplane and had directed the helicopter to collide into the buttocks of the irate Irken invader.
The impact had caused Zim to cry out in the midst of excruciating pain. His primal cry had closely resembled the recited notes of a soprano toned opera singer. Gir had his attention averted from his toy which focused upon Zim's "singing", having his metallic flexible arms perform the motions of a classical music conductor. His cry had ceased as he looked upon his robot slave in puzzled manner and asked, "Why are you doing that?!" "I like your song!" Gir replied while clapping. "You liked it?" Zim asked again while tilting his head curiously. "Yeah! Do it again!" he said excitedly while jumping up and down. "What a minute a talent is singing! So, that's exactly what I'll do…I'll do this supposed singing and show them all!" Zim shouted. "Yay!" Gir cheered happily. "Gir, do not disturb me. I have some practicing to do." he said, while going down the toilet-disguised entrance to this underground laboratory.
The Next Day…
Dib sat through the monotonous performances that the contestants after he did his own act which consisted of a skit that involved the legendary Bigfoot getting a bikini wax. A small percentage had seemed amused by the skit, but the majority of the audience had either booed or threw cheese covered nachos in his direction. A brown haired girl clad in a pink dress had announced the last act with the sentence, "And last but perhaps least, Zim with his Ode to Joy song."
After the girl had departed, the stage became dark and a single light had shown upon Zim as he cleared his throat. The microphone was taken from the stand with a black gloved hand and he said, "Children of this dirt ball, I have seen your demonstrations of talent and I have this to say….YOU STINK! Prepare to witness the true talent of a real performer!" He walked toward a small stool and played the song Ode to Joy from the small black boom box covered in fox stickers.
The audience was perplexed and amazed by Zim's performance. Each of the notes were in sync with the song and mimicked the vocals perfectly with the ones that sang on the tape. He had been satisfied to see each child watching him with their eyes the size of golf balls and their jaws slackened as he sang. After he had hit a high note to finish the song, they had stood up immediately and gave him an extremely loud applause. Dib had been dumbfounded by the entire spectacle and asked rhetorically, "How did he do that?!"
Zim bowed graciously before his adoring fans and left the stage through the rear exit. A blond woman dressed in an obnoxiously orange and yellow business suit seemed to have waited for him to arrive, "That was a fabulous performance, kid. I love your talent and on the behalf of my opera company, we would ever be so happy to have you debut for our play The Phantom of the Opera across town." Zim received a business card from her, examined it carefully and said, "I accept being recruited for this play, ma'am." "Wonderful. Then we should expect you to arrive at our opera house at three pm sharp, please do not be late." the woman said in approval.