Written for the birthday of Kay the Cricketed.
This had better be worth it.
Raph halted when he saw three ninja elite on the rooftop before him. "You gotta be kiddin' me," he growled.
Naturally, there was no response. The Foot elite weren't big talkers. Instead, one sank into a fighting stance and beckoned to him.
"I ain't got time for this," Raph hissed, at the same time thinking, I ain't got the backup for this. Although he wasn't exactly the first to admit it, he was not up to fighting three ninja elite by himself, especially when he was running out of time. Ten more minutes, and all would be lost.
The foremost ninja lashed out. Raph dodged swiftly and did three quick front flips, then tucked and spun over open air between buildings. He landed on his feet and heard sounds of pursuit. He gritted his teeth against his instincts as he ran. Don't turn back. Don't fight them. You are way more afraid of the consequences of being too late than of skipping a fight.
No, that wasn't true.
Ah, what the heck. Forget them. Keep going.
His blood was boiling.
He wanted to fight.
He only had so much time.
He wanted to fight!
He ducked a steel pipe the same color as an upcoming building. The pipe was tall, long, and camouflaged against the buildings around it, nearly impossible to see if one was unfamiliar with these rooftops. Satisfaction coursed through him as he heard one of the ninja elite slam into it. One down.
Leaping, and THUD! He landed on the next rooftop. Two ninjas still followed him. They would be taken care of. He wracked his brain, for once in his life trying to think of what Mikey would do, as this running-into-pipes type of combat was more his domain. Clotheslines. Falling bricks. Ladders tipped over. Banana peels, for crying out loud. What could he do?
Think Mikey. Think Bugs Bunny. Think...heck, think Jack Sparrow. Think...
Trickster.
They were getting closer. He slowed down slightly, but not enough to let them notice he was doing it deliberately. They were getting close, so close.
Closer.
Closer.
NOW!
WHAM!
He jerked backwards, elbows jamming into their guts simultaneously. The ninjas doubled over and collapsed to the concrete, winded. Raph lost no time in flying forward, cackling softly to himself as he lost his pursuers.
Leonardo glanced up from the couch as Raphael entered the living room. "Did you get it?"
Raph snorted as he tossed a plastic bag onto the couch. "Did I get it?" he mocked. "Whaddya think, Leo? I only kicked the asses of three Foot elite ta get it."
"When did you run into Foot elite?"
"Like ten minutes before the store closed. So this had better be worth it."
Leo peered into the bag. "I thought we said to get the green one."
"Yeah, well, Mikey said to get the orange one, an' I figured, she's a girl, she likes pink, right?"
"We thought about green because it would represent all of us. Pink...doesn't quite do that, somehow."
"Get it yourself next time," grumbled Raph. "Somehow I think a freakin' electronic turtle pet ain't gonna be on Kay's list a' favorite birthday presents this year."
"I thought it was quaint," Leo protested, examining the virtual pet with some interest. "Oh—see, you got the wrong brand. Mikey was suggesting VirtuAnimals. This is Electro-Menagerie. I know the other one comes in green."
"If you think she'll care that much, I'll betcha those Foot elite'd be real glad ta see ya."
"No time. April's mailing this first thing tomorrow morning. Have you signed the card?"
Raph paused. "No."
"Go do it. It's on the kitchen table."
On the table, as Leo promised, lay a card with a ballpoint pen beside it. The outside of the card had the text, "This is not a late birthday card." The inside said, "It is a very early one." Mikey had picked it out because the package would likely arrive a little late for Kay's birthday. If it didn't, Kay probably wouldn't mind.
Scribbled above the text on the inside was Mikey's loopy handwriting. Hey Kay! You rock! Um...hope u have a great b-day, and I will eat a piece of cake in your honor! -Mike I of the Mikeish Empire of Mikeland
Raph smiled.
On the opposite side, nestled neatly into the top left-hand corner, was the oddly sophisticated chicken scratch of someone who thinks faster than he writes. Happy birthday, Kay! You have been a joy for all of us to know, and I hope we have been tolerable as well! We thought this gift would make you think of us. I hope it behaves! Love, Don.
And further down the page, toward the center, was Leo's clean-etched, angular writing. Dear Kay, I truly hope you have a wonderful birthday. I hope you know how much you mean to us, all of us, and to me personally. It has been a joy and an honor to know you, and I hope our companionship continues beyond time. All the best, Leonardo.
And beneath the lettering on the right-hand page, there was Splinter's elegant cursive. Kay, you have been a blessing to me and my sons since you came into our lives. I wish you nothing less than the happiest of birthdays. Splinter.
Raph's lips parted in a slight grin. He picked up the pen knowing exactly what he was going to write. He started writing beside Don's message, his jagged, slightly unclean script martially jetting out onto the stiff card. Hey Kay. "I hope our companionship continues beyond time?" You gotta agree with me, that's kinda over the top. Leo thinks he's in a movie sometimes. And Mikey wanted to send ya a piece of cake. How retarded is that?
Here he faltered, suddenly unsure what to say next, but knowing he wasn't finished. There wasn't any easy way to tell her what she meant to him, especially since he couldn't put it in words himself. He had no freakin' idea. She was a friend. Not in a romantic way. But he wasn't good at summarizing things like this, not like his brothers. His skin heated up. She would probably think his comments about his brothers were stupid. Now he wanted to cross it all out, but that would look like crap. He glanced again at Leonardo's message, trying to take a cue from that. That was a mistake. Words didn't correlate with Raphael's feelings. They were two different realms to him. Why did these things always have to end up being so difficult? With a sigh, he gave up trying to be as mushy as his brothers and wrote,
Happy b-day.
Raph.
He lay down the pen and scanned the card. The first part of his message was downright talkative, jabbing and poisonous, like his sense of humor. The rest was uncomfortable, the cop-out of someone who pushed away the complex not because he couldn't understand, but didn't think it worth understanding. That...was a pretty good representation of himself, all things considered. He closed the card with a slight smile.
Three Foot elite and a pink virtual pet?
Oh yeah. It was worth it.