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Title: Second Chance Category: Books » Lord of the Rings Author: Lle naa haran e nausalle Language: English, Rating: Rated: T Genre: Romance/Adventure Published: 09-30-11, Updated: 11-23-11 Chapters: 9, Words: 5,866
Chapter 1: Falling
Chapter One: Prologue- Falling
My name is Amanda Emberlynn Marks. Most people call me Lynn, and by most people I mean my friend that recently moved across the continent and my mother. My father drank and beat me until mom got the nerve to call the police one night after he bruised all my ribs and broke my arm. My mother tried to make up for it by buying me things. I took horseback riding lessons, karate, Tai kwon do, yoga, boxing, fencing, sword fighting, gun training, and archery. I excelled in everything physical, vowing to never be weak again.
I graduated as Valedictorian of my class and was offered several full ride scholarships. But then my mother died and I rejected them all, falling into depression. My only friend decided to go to the University of California and left Boston with no more than a hug and a farewell. I had no one else to turn to because I was so different than others and generally socially awkward. So I got a job at the local bookstore and a small apartment.
That's how I ended up on the roof that night, drinking my sorrows away.
I wasn't suicidal. No, I knew – even though I had no one- I knew that death was the easy way out. I was brought up well enough by my mom after my dad was locked away. But I'd always had a thing for heights. They made me feel free. The wind and solitude and the pure adrenalin that flows in the pit of your stomach; that is what drew me to heights. High places and adrenalin rushes could take away the pain better than the liquor- and it wasn't as if I got rip roaring drunk every night and day. I only drank when the darkness sank in- in other words, when I wasn't watching television, working at the bookshop, eating, showering, going to the bathroom, or sleeping. And most- sometimes all- of my time was spent doing those things.
But that night I must've been more inebriated than I'd thought; because when I stood to jump off the ledge to the roof and inside; I slipped… And suddenly I was falling.
I fell for what seemed like hours, panicking sluggishly because of the alcohol. 30 stories flew by and just before I hit the ground, there was a flash of light, and an ethereal voice.
"Make good with your second chance, child. You only get two," It said, sounding almost amused and saddened. I closed my eyes and succumbed to blackness.
Chapter 2: Three Years Later
Chapter Two: Three Years Later
Crouching, I leapt silently from branch to branch, following the deer that would feed me for a month and more. It had been three years since I woke up in the endless woods. I'd seen very little people and came across nasty things that called themselves Orcs but other than that I had been alone.
FLASHBACK
I woke up in some kind of forest and instantly knew I wasn't anywhere near Boston. I remembered the voice… the otherworldly voice that told me I was to get a second chance. So I put my survival skills to use and wandered in the direction of the setting sun- though the thick canopy blocked most of the said sunset. I walked for nearly a day before I came upon a river and drank. Glad that I always kept a pocket knife on t, I flipped it open and began gathering brush. Within forty- eight hours, I'd caught and killed a rabbit, built a fire, and began constructing a shelter out of sticks, mud, and long grass. I made the shelter under a tree root of a dead tree and made it look as unobtrusive as possible.
Many days later my clothes ripped and I took my crudely fashioned bow and arrow out to hunt for meat and hides. Approximately six months later, I brought down my first deer and used the pelt to make myself an off the shoulder toga-like dress. My leggings were made out of inverted rabbit skins. Two months after that I killed a bear and acquired moccasins and a warm blanket. I survived without thought, talking to myself so I wouldn't forget how and hanging all my meat high in the trees to dry or cooking it over small fires. I made myself straighter arrows and a better bow as well as a spear and fish traps.
A few months after that, I was acquainted with an Orc. He was killed for trying to steal my meat. I made note to kill all Orcs from that point on. I saw horsemen cross the river and travelers pass by every now and then but I never paid them mind, as long as they left me alone.
END FLASHBACK
My solitude was interrupted and my prey scared off suddenly. A group of half-lings (I'd heard of them but from what I gathered from eavesdropping on travelers' conversations, they never left he shire, so I was surprised to see them at all.) and a man broke into the clearing. One of the Halflings seemed to be poisoned and the man barked at the pudgy Halfling to find some Kings' foil. I'd harvested all of it in this area and knew that without it, the Halfling would die. So I steeled myself and drew my bow before leaping from the trees. Landing in a catlike crouch, I cocked my head and spoke to another human for the first time in three years.
"He won't find any kings foil. If you need it, though, I can give it to you. Although it works better if mixed with mashed grain, sage, and mint." The man made to draw his sword but seemed to decide the Halfling's need was greater. I drew the very mixture I'd described out from a pouch on my waist. Dropping my bow, I trotted over lightly, soundlessly, and assessed the wound. It seemed he was stabbed deeply in the torso with a poisoned blade that had thankfully missed his vital organs. I smeared the paste into the wound and drew my dagger that I'd stolen off an Orc long ago. Gently, I cut above the stab wound and began to massage his chest to force blood out and therefore most of the poison. I ripped a rabbit pelt from my leggings and ran to wet it in the river before using it like a rag to mop away the blood and smearing more of the antidote on the new and old wounds.
The man watched and visibly relaxed when the Halfling's glazed eyes focused on me and some color returned to his cheeks. The two hobbits that'd been silent thus far edged closer to me.
"Who are you?" One asked with a Scottish brogue in his voice.
"Lynn," I replied with a slight smile. "Who are you?" I countered.
"Peregrin Took. And this here is my cousin, Meriadoc Brandybuck. The one you just saved is called Frodo Baggins and the one who left is Samwise Gamgee." He said proudly. I laughed a bit at that.
"Welcome to my territory, Mister Took. And who are you?" I asked, turning to the man.
"Strider," The ranger said shortly. His eyes scanned me warily and I smiled as I thought of how I must look. I hadn't bathed in a week and had just hunted, so I was likely caked in dirt with leaves in my hair. I must look like a savage. Hell, I was a savage. The Halfling called Samwise crashed back into the clearing.
"There are Ring wraiths on horseback headed this way! And I couldn't find any kings foil!" he cried. "Hey," He said, noticing me. "Who is this?"
"Lynn," I said. Glancing down, I asked: "Are the wraiths after Mister Baggins?"
"He needs to be taken to Rivendell," Strider confirmed with a nod. "We will not outrun them on foot. Smiling softly, I whistled, quick and shrill.
"Boronadaneth," I called. Out of the misty shadows came my mare. "I will take him, there has never been a horse faster than mine that I've come across and she only lets me ride her. I know the way, and I shall get him there safely, trust me." Strider looked deep into my eyes, searching for deception; but he was soon brought back to the present by the approaching hoof beats of the wraiths. He made the decision then.
"Go," He urged. 'Go and tell them Estel sent you," I nodded and gathered the Halfling into my arms. Boronadaneth bowed low and I swung myself onto her back with ease and clamped my thighs tight as I grabbed her mane and spurred her on. Her sleek black coat was warm and I could feel her muscles rippling with her every move as I pushed her faster than ever before. I looped and twirled, zigged and zagged before I finally lost them all and crossed into Rivendell. I avoided the elf guards effortlessly, having hunted around here enough to know where they took post. I entered the paved city courtyard at a fast canter and leapt from my horse. A male elf strode up to me regally.
"I am Elrond, king of Rivendell. State your business, girl." I breathed a sigh of relief.
"This Halfling was poisoned and is in mortal peril. The one who sent me told me to say that Estel sent us. Does that mean anything?" I bit my lip and waited anxiously. Finally, Lord Elrond nodded and began to walk away.
"Follow me," He called back at me. I sighed in relief. "What is your name, child?" He asked.
'Lynn," I responded. He frowned. "You shall be called Maethileth, now. A Female Warrior," He decided as I set Frodo on the infirmary table.
"As you say it shall be, my Lord," I bowed and left him do his work.
Chapter 3: Imladris
Chapter Three: Imladris
A servant elleth showed me to my rooms. I stared at the huge, fluffy white bed warily. It must've looked like I thought it was going to eat me. The girl giggled.
"Is there something wrong?" She asked curiously, clearly finding my expression amusing.
"N'Uma," (No) I shook my head. "I just… I've lived in the forest for three years and it was only yesterday that I spoke to someone besides myself… I haven't even seen a proper bed in ages." I explained awkwardly. Her eyes widened.
"How awful that must've been!" She gasped. 'Well, I'm sure you'll be glad to know that there is a hot spring a mile west of the city and behind those curtains," She pointed to the ones in the corner of the room "There is a steaming bath and proper bathing materials." I looked at her in immense relief.
"I could kiss you! What is your name?" I exclaimed, already removing my moccasins and leggings.
"Amareth," She said with another giggle. I'll leave you bee, call for me if you need something, Lady Maethileth." She bowed out and I damn near leapt into the copper bath. I soaked and washed repeatedly until every last bit of warmth had gone from the now black, muddy water.
I dried with a soft cotton towel and pranced to the wardrobe. Inside were dresses of every color, all my size, and delicate slippers. I'd never been one to dress up but I felt so clean and pretty that I didn't even care. The dress was mint green and matched my eyes near perfectly. My black curls shone, now free of dirt. My skin was like porcelain and I couldn't take my eyes off my reflection. I hadn't seen myself in three years, save for my reflection in the waters, but it was always sketchy at best. My hair had grown long and cascaded to my waist. My curves were prominent and I had little to no excess body fat. My muscles were toned and prominent but not overly masculine.
I was beautiful…
When did this happen?
The dress I wore seemed only to accentuate that fact. The neckline scooped to show my rather impressive cleavage; the bodice was tight like spandex and loosened at the top of my hips to flow down to my toes. It was a strange experience, like looking at a mirror- expecting to see what you always had- but finding a stranger looking back at you.
I exited the room and wandered quietly for hours until I happened upon Amareth. Her face was flushed as she came towards me.
"Lady Maethileth," She puffed. "I've been looking everywhere for you! Lord Elrond has invited you to his dinner table, he wishes to speak with you," I smiled apologetically.
"Lead the way," I said wryly. Time to tell my story.
Chapter 4: Dinner With Elrond
Chapter Four: Dinner with Elrond
Amareth led me through the elegant halls and courtyards to the largest ballroom/ dinner hall into an antechamber that was elegantly set up for a formal dinner. Four dark haired elves sat in the chairs around the table. I curtsied to the royal family and blushed upon seeing the identical looks of curiosity the twin princes gave me.
"Good evening, my lords and Lady," I greeted.
"Good evening child," Elrond responded, inclining his head. "Please, sit," He gestured to the empty chair. "So, Maethileth," He said after we began to eat, "tell us how you got here,'
"Well," I furrowed my brow. "I don't know, really. My mother had recently died and my father was never… good to me." That's an understatement, "I had taken to overworking myself and drinking ales to forget the pain of the loss. I always drank on the roof, and I suppose that night I had too much…" I lost myself in memory for a moment before continuing. "I slipped and fell from the roof. I was certain I was going to die, but before I hit the ground a voice called to me. It was a soft and ethereal woman's voice. She told me to make good on my second chance, as I only received two. I awoke in the forest. That was around three years ago. I've had little to no contact with anyone besides myself, save for the killing of thieves and Orcs."
They all stared at me for a minute.
"So," Arwen began hesitantly. "You mean to say you are not of this world?"
"'Tis a matter of opinion, I suppose, my lady," I shrugged lightly. "I never really… fit in my old world, whereas here I blend nicely without effort. So I would say I'm not from here, originally, but I now reside here. And I belong here," We ate some more before one of the twins posted a question.
"Can you tell us more of your world?" He asked, blue/green eyes shining in that same curiosity he and his brother had shown upon my entrance. I sighed, half excited, half sac.
"'Tis a terrible place, and yet, it is a beautiful place," I began slowly. "It is beautiful because there are so many advancements in medicine and such things, only a few elusive ailments cannot be cured. But at the same time," I paused thoughtfully. "It is dying. There are machines that emit poisonous gasses, sprays that kill pests, but also the wildlife around them. The trees are fast disappearing, in their place; steel buildings hundreds of levels high are built.
"The population is out of control, too many people are living in one area and farmlands are slowly being replaced by agricultural science. The plants there are grown by machines and see only artificial sunlight. But it is beautiful in its own way, but not quite as beautiful as the natural beauty it once had. Here at Imladris, the structures are built with the nature and around it, not so there. They tear down the rolling hills and make flat planes. They cut down trees to build roads and houses instead of weaving in between them. 'Tis sad, but that is how it is." I finished thoughtfully. They stared with looks of contemplation and slight horror on their faces. I decided to try to lighten the mood, but just as I opened my mouth, a pain split open my back. I screamed and arched it, falling off my chair. I heard frantic voices before succumbing to the blackness.
I woke in a pristine white bed. Elrond stood over me, a concerned and slightly shocked look upon his face.
"Lady Maethileth?" He asked. "Are you awake?" I groaned.
"Yes," I said slowly. I tried to roll onto my back… and then I discovered them. There were feathers behind me… no, not feathers, wings. I had a brand spanking new pair of white/silver angel wings on my back; attached to my back. I nearly screamed.
"What the hell?' I said incredulously. "Where in the Valar did these come from?"
'They are but a small part of your destiny, child," the voce spoke again; the same voice I heard when I fell off the roof. "Allow me to introduce myself. I am Lady Galadriel, and we shall meet in person very soon. For now, I'll explain the situation through your mind."
AN: I'm so evil. I'll update soon, I swear on Becca's life. Ha-ha, Becca; that means you'll die if I forget. ;)
Chapter 5: Protector
Chapter Five: Protector
I sat in front of the mirror and studied my reflection. There were three major physical changes, but only two showed through to my outward appearance. The most noticeable was that I had a GIANT pair of white wings that shone silver in the light. They were hard like armor and nearly impenetrable but feather soft to the touch. The second was my ears. They were more delicate and pulled to perfect points at the tips, like Elven ears. The other physical change that was imperceptible to even the elvish eye was my weight.
I was barely ninety pounds, yet I retained my muscle and height. I supposed my blood had more air in it and my lungs had air sacs, just as my bones were now hollow; all of this to make it so I could now fly. And I could. It certainly wasn't easy, but I could fly. I could also jump about five meters in the air easily, which made it possible to take off into flight without having to jump out of a tree or off a cliff.
But it wasn't my reflection or my new status that had me thinking so hard; rather it was my new job. Lady Galadriel had explained it to Elrond and me telepathically. I was an angel. Well, more like a super-specialized guardian angel. And my job was to guard the fellowship that had been formed earlier today. Frodo, Samwise, Meriadoc, Peregrin, Boromir, Legolas, Aragorn, and even Gandalf were now under my defense. I was to train under Elrond in healing, Elrohir in battle combat and Elladan in archery and throwing knives. I was supposed to observe the birds and learn to fly. I was to train my reflexes and newly discovered avian vision- which was an improvement over an elf's.
My second chance at life turned out to be protector of a Fellowship in a strange and different- yet oddly familiar- world.
Galadriel had better hope I make good with my second chance. If I muck this one up, lives will be lost; and this time, not just mine.
AN: It is short, I know. I don't have time for more as I currently am putting off a shit-ton of homework that can't be pushed aside any longer.
BTW- henxu: I'm going to try my best to downplay the MarySuedom and focus a lot n the ring and plot along with the romance factor but still add humanity and realistic viewpoints. Even the mythological creatures that I add will have characteristics of living things. I.e. the Orcs can feel pain and the guard of Moria getting angry or making pained moans. Just as I'll do that to those creatures, my main character, 'Lynn', will react accordingly and not be totally heartless and undefeatable. Yet she is quite advanced physically and will have some 'sue-like' traits.
Post Script: Becca, I'll bring you the extended edition of the FotR you asked for tomorrow, I solemnly swear on Marisa's life. And since I love her more than you, that means you can trust me
Chapter 6: It Begins
Chapter Six: It Begins
"Lady Maethileth," A voice called anxiously from behind me, scaring away the rather large buck I'd been about to bring down. Eyes flashing, I spun around.
"WHAT?" I growled furiously. "Can't you see I'm hunting? Rule number one if you're going to be around me for an extended period of time: NEVER… EVERSCARE. AWAY. MY. PREY!"
Legolas stood there, a shocked look on his face. I felt slightly guilty, but I wasn't a generally congenial person when my buttons were pushed, and I knew that. They had to learn it too, and I've never been a fan of learning things the easy way. You had to live with it if you wanted to get to know me, I certainly wasn't going to change anytime in the foreseeable future; Immortal guardian angel or not.
"Furthermore," I continued in a quieter tone after taking a few deep breaths. "Drop the 'Lady' bit you seem so fond of. You can call me Lynn or Maethileth, but –as I'm sure I've just proven- I'm not a lady. Far from it, in fact,"
Legolas seemed to snap out of his shell shocked state. A glint of anger appeared in his eyes as he responded in a forced calm.
"Very well, Maethileth," He said, bowing stiffly. I had to bite back a laugh. He didn't even fight back! I'd have to work on strengthening his backbone. "I only wished to tell you that we are to depart within the hour, and you must be ready by then."
I smirked and nodded, slinging my bow between my wings and sweeping out of the forest silently and then jumping up and flapping to gain altitude before flying through my bedroom window and landing gracefully. I took a light pack with an extra dress, leggings, and a warm cloak. I then put on my newly Elven tailored deerskin sweater dress and rabbit fur leggings- both were dyed an earthy brown for camouflage. My moccasins had strengthened bottoms that wouldn't wear down and were lined with moleskin to prevent discomfort even after days of walking. My arrows went into the attached quiver on my pack and my bow slung easily onto it. The whole of my possessions now nestled comfortably between my wings.
I said goodbye to my maid and leapt lightly out my window and glided easily towards the entrance of the city. Flying always made me feel better so, naturally, by the time I got there, I felt blissfully serene. I bowed to the elves and stood next to Strider-turned –Aragorn as we waited on Frodo.
"The Fellowship awaits the ring-bearer," Gandalf- a wizard that would be joining us- said. Frodo's eyes darted nervously for a second before he straightened his back and walked out of the archway into the forest. And then I hear him speak.
"Gandalf," He whispered uncertainly "Is Mordor left or right?" I had to bite back a laugh. Gandalf's own answer seemed more amused than anything.
"Left,"
Chapter 7: Travelers
Chapter Seven: Travelers
"Legolas," I said hesitantly, banking my wings and landing silently on my feet next to him. He didn't respond. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to really apologize for my rudeness, because you should've known better to scare away someone's prey." He shot me a glare, although it was somewhat less angry. "But," I continued. "I am sorry for snapping at you. I shouldn't have done that, either."
After a moment of gazing into the distance, he turned to me. "Apology accepted. To be fair, I don't know what I was thinking, interrupting you like that." I smiled and took to the air. The hobbits were training with Boromir, Aragorn was guiding. I flew to them.
"Are you teaching them in practical?" I asked. Boromir furrowed his brow.
"Not yet," He said to me. "They are small and do not possess the strength needed to move a bigger blade."
"Push -ups," I said suddenly.
"What?"
"Push-ups," I repeated. "Before you train them with swords, they have to be strong enough to wield them. Start by making them complete a number of push- ups and pull ups, then move on to the positions, then footwork, and then give them an opponent to spar with." I said.
"We do not have time for that!" Boromir said in frustration and annoyance, his tone insinuating it should be obvious.
"Of course we do!" I insisted. "I'll do it if you think you cannot. Give me two hours alone with them every day for a month and they'll be as fit as anyone to wield a blade, even against much larger opponents."
And that was how I ended up with training duty. Just after they agreed to my terms, Sam spoke up.
"What is that?" He asked, pointing to a dark spot around the horizon.
"Nothing," Gimli dismissed. "Just a wisp of cloud,"
"It is moving fast," Boromir disagreed. "And against the wind,"
"They're spies of Saruman!" I yelled in unison with Legolas' shout of "Crebain from Dunland!" And we both shouted: "HIDE!" at the same time.
After dousing the fire, I shoved the Hobbits into a crevice in the rocks. With no small amount of panic, I wedged myself in after them, partially spreading my wings over the entirety of our hiding place, camouflaging us so we blended seamlessly into the rock face. And all this was not a moment too soon. Literally a half second passed before the birds swarmed the camp and passed on. Only then did we crawl out of our hiding places and warily turn to Gandalf, as if to say: 'What do we do now?'
"Spies of Saruman," The wizard spit in disgust. "Our passage is being watched. We must now face the pass of Caradhras."
We walked for nearly a week, every day the hobbits strength improved, and everyday- amazingly- they learned to eat less and less; their stomachs grew accustomed to rations and shrank to 'normal' size. We ended up having to turn and head for Moria, as Saruman tried to bury us alive. The hobbits and I kept a steady training schedule, and I had to chase off the others as they grew curious as to the hobbits' progress. Three days before we came to the gates of Moria, I let the others join us. Merry and Pippin volunteered to do an example spar. I would act as judge in the first one, and have the second be more freestyle, much like fighting with Orcs. The third part of the example would be each hobbit individually against Legolas.
"Advance," I gave the circling hobbits the cue. Merry set immediately into an advance lunge which Pip countered accordingly. Merry sent a flurry of well aimed blows at Pip, searching for a weakness and forcing him to the defensive.
Pip kept his face clear of emotion as he calmly blocked each strike. This went on for a minute before Merry stopped; realizing Pip was trying to let him tire himself out. Pip barely gave Merry any time to think as he took advantage of his pause, striking his blade as hard as he could. Merry's grip faltered under the weight of the blow, but he steadied it and took a few quick steps to the right, aiming the flat of his blade at Pippin's grip.
Pippin lowered himself to one knee and rolled left, slicing at Merry's knees. He missed by a hairsbreadth and quickly recovered, driving his cousin back with a series of quick and powerful strikes. In the end, Pip won by using his ambidextrous ability to switch sword hands and slash at Merry's unprepared arm, knocking him over as the flat of his blade hit him with tremendous force. In an instant, Pip pounced; faster than a ravenous wolf. He had his blade at Merry's throat for half a minute before the shock wore off and the applause rang out.
The rest of the demonstration went as expected, and every one of my four hobbits managed to exceed Legolas in speed- if not strength- in the end, even if they all lost to him. I was beaming like a proud mother hen for three days afterwards. And then we approached the gates of Moria.
Chapter 8: Gates of Moria
Chapter Eight: Gates of Moria
A/N: I think it is important to note that I will use some dialogue from the books and some from the movies, but this is a Fan-FICTION. A lot of this will be changed. The plot, however, will stay as true to the original work of Peter Jackson and John R.R. Tolkien.
"Legolas," I called, suddenly panicked. "Do you feel that?"
"There is great evil here," he answered after a moment. "It is an evil I cannot place, yet an evil we must face. There is no other path through the mountains." I nodded, trying to stop the shivers of unease that crawled up and down my spine.
"…Mirrors only starlight… and moonlight." Gandalf had been telling the others in the background. Just as he finished, the light of the moon escaped a heavy cloud ad shone down, revealing the Gates of Moria. It reads: "Speak, friend, and enter,"
"What does that mean?" Pip asked thoughtfully.
"It's very simple," Gandalf answered. "If you are a friend you speak the password and you can enter,"
We sat for three hours while Gandalf tried every password in his arsenal. Nada. I even managed to organize a spar that consisted of Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas, Gimli and I against Merry, Pippin, Sam, and Frodo, respectively. But the hobbits' boredom could only be quenched for so long. Before anyone could stop him, Pip kicked a stone into the pond.
"I'm dead bored. Lynn," He whined. "What can we do?"
"Hmmm…" I mused as I watched the ripples carefully. "We could sing,"
"Why don't you sing us a song, Lynn?" Merry asked eagerly.
"What song would I sing?" I inquired, bewildered.
"Something from your homeland," Legolas pitched in.
"Um," I tried to think of an appropriate song. "Okay…"
"Concrete Angel"
She walks to school with the lunch she packed Nobody knows what she's holdin' back Wearin' the same dress she wore yesterday She hides the bruises with linen and lace
The teacher wonders but she doesn't ask It's hard to see the pain behind the mask Bearing the burden of a secret storm Sometimes she wishes she was never born
Through the wind and the rain She stands hard as a stone In a world that she can't rise above But her dreams give her wings And she flies to a place where she's loved Concrete angel
Somebody cries in the middle of the night The neighbors hear, but they turn out the lights A fragile soul caught in the hands of fate When morning comes it'll be too late
Through the wind and the rain She stands hard as a stone In a world that she can't rise above But her dreams give her wings And she flies to a place where she's loved Concrete angel
A statue stands in a shaded place An angel girl with an upturned face A name is written on a polished rock A broken heart that the world forgot
Through the wind and the rain She stands hard as a stone In a world that she can't rise above But her dreams give her wings And she flies to a place where she's loved Concrete angel (Martina McBride)
"Wow," Aragorn smiled at me in complement.
"Beautiful," Merry agreed.
"Very fitting," Legolas gave me a wink that started an array of confusion in my emotions and set butterflies loose in my chest. Did I fancy Legolas? I did not know.
Chapter 9: Flamer Response
Well! This isn't the MOST stupid I've seen, because there are some real
doosies out there, but this is pretty high ranking in its own right.
Your writing style is horrible; I could FEEL the CHEESE just OOSING out of my
very pores just half way through. With little bits of corn chips, as well as
copious amounts of pus and blood.
No Sir, I don't like it. Anyone who does, (or even lies and says they do to
spare your feelings) has to be half catatonic. Seriously. I'm embarrassed to
have clicked on this really. Accidental though it may have been.
My advice to you? Stop. Go no further. Do NOT write ANYMORE. Remove this
travesty from the internet. Delete your user account. Do NOT create ANOTHER.
ANYWHERE. Destroy any thing you may have written in the past. Do not write
anything in the future in the hopes that the world may change its mind about
you.
And finally, Lle naa haran e nausalle? Before you complete the previously
described Guide to Making the World a Better Place?
Get a new alias.
Dead World's Nemesis
I have to say, this was unexpected. My first reaction went something like this:
"OMG! OMG! OMG! I GOT MY FIRST FLAMER!"
But then it was more:
"WTF? What did I ever do to you? Did your dog die today? But more importantly, what kind of cheese is oozing out of your pores, and is it edible? And you should probably see a doctor about that puss and blood thing, I'm pretty sure it isn't natural."
And the final stage:
"Hey there my little flamer; How are you doing today? No one said you had to read my story, and if it was such a waste of time, then why bother to take the extra time to review, if you so obviously needed it to do something super important. Did it make you feel better, tearing me down and ridiculing my writing? I hope it wasn't a waste of time. You should know, that you actually added quite a bit of amusement to my day, even if what you wrote was written with malicious intents. But just remember, what you sow you will eventually reap in a tenfold. So flame all you want, but in the end, it will be you that will get burned."
Have a Nice Life.
ur document here...