Title: Dreamland
Author: Starbuck23
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Well, there are many references to Dreamland I and II from TXF (see if you can find them all). I don't think there's anything else... though I'm not 100% sure. Oh well, it's almost 1 AM so forgive me.
Disclaimer: No one is mine, I'm sure of that. Everyone belongs to CC, 1013, Fox, and anyone else who owns them. I'm tired.
Notes: This was an idea I had about an eternity ago, but I totally forgot to jot down my ideas so now after rotting in my brain forever, it's practically diminished down to a big glob of nothing. Plus it's pretty late at night... or early in the morning, depending on your view. If you're wondering why on Earth I am typing this up now, it's because I wanted to finish it for my cousin's birthday (though she probably won't read this)... but I missed the deadline by 53 minutes...well more by the time this is posted. Now her birthday was yesterday. Oh well, I tried. Enjoy everyone. It's messed.
***
THE LONE GUNMEN HEAD QUARTERS
11:21 PM
"Jeremiah was a bull frog! Was a good friend of mine! Never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine!"
Frohike groaned loudly and turned over in his bed. He took his teddy bear and smushed it against his right ear while he smothered the left side of his head into his pillow.
"Joy to the world! All the boys and girls!"
He pulled his pillow out from under his head and put it over his head.
"Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea!"
Nothing could drown out that awful singing. Nothing. Jimmy's voice and his music penetrated through every wall in the building.
"Joy to you and me!"
This MUST be the last time, prayed Frohike desperately.
"ONE MORE TIME!" Jimmy shouted out with the recording.
"NOOOO!" came a strangled cry. Frohike sat up in bed sending his pillow flying, practically knocking his poor teddy onto the floor. The cry was from Langly's room, of course. Even though he was completely irked by the guy, Frohike felt sorry for Jimmy. Boy did he have it coming.
CRASH!
The sound of Langly hurling a piece of hardware at Jimmy and his boom box.
"GO TO BED!" shouted Langly.
"Aww, I'm sorry Langly, I didn't realize I was being so loud. I-I was just so into the music, I didn't realize it. It was as if I became-"
SLAM!
Langly slammed the door in Jimmy's face.
"-part of the music," Frohike heard Jimmy finish more softly.
Frohike pressed his lips into a thin line. He listened as Jimmy swept up the pieces of broken hardware off the floor. He felt bad for the man, he really did, but he had it coming. Then Frohike recognized the sound of Byers' voice consoling Jimmy.
It was becoming almost routine now. Once or twice every few weeks, Jimmy would turn on one of his CDs or tapes and play it until everyone retired for the day. Then he'd get so enraptured with the music that he'd turn it up and sing and dance his heart out until Langly comes out and throws something at him.
Lucky for Jimmy, when Langly gets angry, Langly couldn't hit the side of a barn his aim was so bad. Not that his aim was much better when his emotions were not clouding up his mind. Frohike just hoped that Langly had thrown a piece of junk hardware instead of something that was valuable, an incident that happened about a month ago.
But afterwards, Jimmy would sweep up the mess and Byers would say a few words to him. Then the next morning Jimmy would make breakfast for them all to make up for the night before. It always turned out okay, except for the morning Jimmy dropped the hot eggs he was serving into Langly's lap. Langly wouldn't speak to Jimmy or anyone else for an entire week.
Frohike groaned as he got up from bed to retrieve his pillow and save poor teddy from the edge of the bed. Then he settled back into his sheets and let sleep wash over him while he wondered what Jimmy would prepare the next morning.
***
Frohike groggily awoke to the pungent smell of frying eggs and bacon. He breathed in deeply and sighed contently. The atmosphere of the night before had lifted completely. Got up, made his bed, and stuck teddy into a safe corner. After the rest of his morning routine, he joined Byers and Jimmy at the table.
"Jimmy," Frohike said sternly, "you've got to remember to turn off that blasted music of yours when we go to bed!"
"I know Frohike, I forgot. I was just so into the music I felt like a part of it. Like, you know, when you see a really hot chick and the only thing on your mind is that really hot chick. And Frohike, you start using all those lame pickup lines you know..."
"Hey! They're not lame!" protested Frohike indignantly.
"We understand what you mean, believe me," said Byers cutting in. "We've all witnessed Frohike's attempts at reeling women in."
Frohike glared at Byers.
"But he's right," Byers continued. "You must understand that you cannot play your music that loudly so late into the night."
"I know Byers. I'll try to remember next time."
"Thank you."
"Here, your guys' eggs are ready." Jimmy handed them each a plate. Byers' eggs were neatly scrambled, just the way he liked them, while Frohike's were sunny-side-up, the egg yolks perfectly in the center of each white.
Frohike had just sat down and was beginning to dig into his breakfast when Langly rushed into their dining area.
"Morning Langly. Here are your eggs. And you're just in time for the bacon," Jimmy offered with his usual irritating cheer and an annoyingly bright smile on his face.
"Forget the eggs man, we have bigger fish to fry," he said pushing the food away.
"Fish? You want fish for breakfast? Who caught fish?" Jimmy looked around, confused.
"No you egghead." Langly rolled his eyes.
"What's up?" asked Frohike, putting more salt onto his eggs.
"We have our next headline: Area 51: Government Conspiracy and Alien Alliance HQ"
"How'd you come up with this?" Byers asked. He eyed his comrade warily. Langly looked as if he didn't sleep at all the night before. His blonde hair was a mess and all knotted up.
"I hacked into some weird files last night and one thing lead to another and I ended up in the Area 51 database. They're having a big meeting later tonight. We need in on the action to publish the article. C'mon! We gotta get to Dreamland ASAP to catch this thing!"
***
AREA 51 (DREAMLAND)
LATER
"Ready to execute plan Blackwood?" Frohike whispered to the rest of the Lone Gunmen, via the bugs planted on him.
"Ready as we'll ever be," replied Byers.
"Oooh, this is so cool!"
"Shhhh! Quiet Jimmy! You're a box of supplies and boxes of supplies don't talk!" hissed Langly.
"Sorry," Jimmy whispered from inside a large box sitting in the back of a government owned vehicle. Langly sat cramped up in another box with his computer while Byers, dressed as a driver, manned the truck.
"Are you sure this will work, Frohike?" Byers inquired once more.
"Yes," hissed Frohike for what seemed like the hundredth time. Believe me, it works."
Frohike walked confidently towards the gate barricading them from their destination. Byers slowly drove behind him. As they approached, a security officer steps out of the security box.
"Halt," the security officer ordered. Aha, smiled Frohike. Langly had done good work. It was a female guard.
Piece of cake, thought Frohike as he met her gaze.
"Zuleikha. Zuleikha Snedden," Langly whispered.
Frohike cleared his throat.
"It's okay, I'm just delivering some supplies General Wegman personally ordered on rush."
Snedden frowned. "I'll need to see some ID and make a call up to the General's office to validate your entrance into the base."
"Hey, Officer Snedden. I'm a regular here. I make so many deliveries here in a day, it's mind numbing. Let's just skip the procedures once. There are better things to do than spend all your time delivering things to the General you know." He raised his eyebrows shamelessly.
Snedden bit her lip. "I'll have to do a count of what you have in your vehicle too."
"Hey," Frohike put a hand on the officer's arm and looked into her eyes. "Zuleikha. I don't want to waste any time. Just let me through this once. It won't hurt."
Frohike smiled as he watched her melt under his gaze.
"Alright," she said, her voice warming.
"Thanks." Frohike winked at her. She almost swooned.
"Wait!" she cried, making the visible gunmen jump. "Take these balloons," she said shyly. She grabbed two balloons out of her office and handed them to Frohike, blushing.
Pleased, Frohike took them.
"My charm never fails me," scoffed Frohike as soon as they were out of earshot.
"Wow," breathed Jimmy.
"Gag me," Langly said.
"Okay, we're in, but we need to know where we're going," Byers said, trying to avoid argument.
"It should be west from the entrance," said Langly. "That's where they're supposed to be."
The LGM found a large building. Once they broke in, they found it was a large warehouse. It was dimly lit with large machines, strange crafts, and chains everywhere.
"Alright guys, let's try to set up and get some recordings and video footage of this," ordered Frohike.
As soon as the guys stepped out of the truck, overhead lights came on, blinding them momentarily.
"Not so fast," a loud, evil-sounding voice said.
When the gunmen could see, they saw the president, a few senate members, and Bob Dole, along with a various number of aliens standing on risers above them.
"Mr. President?! Part of the conspiracy?!" gasped Byers.
"You are bad men," growled Jimmy.
"And we're here to report it to the people of this country!" Langly glared at the men...and creatures before him.
"I don't think so," said Bob Dole as he stuck a hunk of cheese in his mouth.
"Oh really?" retorted Frohike.
"Really, little man," said Dole.
Jimmy wrinkled his nose. "Peeuww. Man, someone needs a tic tac! Do you have one, Byers?" Jimmy turned around to face him.
"STOP! Don't move. Or else," threatened the president.
Frohike laughed. "Or else what?"
"Or else... this!"
Brighter lights turned on. When the bright dots stopped harassing the LGM's eyes they gasped. Bob Dole laughed evily.
"Oh yes, your friends have decided to stop by! Meet our beloved aliens from the planet Cheral. My, my. Isn't this interesting?"
Dole and the president walked up to the first gargantuan alien. Along with many other frightening features, it had an incredibly sharp and ragged horn on what could be considered its nose. What was more frightening was that Mulder was being dangled right on top of that horn. He hung there looking defiantly at the president and Dole.
"Lovely, isn't it?" said the president. "Its name is Sirk. I think Sirk would be more than delighted to have a federal agent sishkabob, don't you think?"
"And this beauty's name is Joanne. I see Joanne and your pretty red-headed friend here has gotten to know each other quite well." Joanne was a monster. She had long brown hair all over, reeked of salt and wine, and had a huge gaping mouth with rows of sharp teeth. Scully was millimeters away from becoming a snack for the hideous alien.
"I don't think so," growled Frohike. And faster than the speed of light, he delivered a series of karate punches and kicks to the men who represented America and knocked them out cold. Before anyone could react, he had grabbed Sirk and flung it into Joanne sending them soaring back into space.
Unfortunately, Sirk's horn had cut through the rope that had been holding Scully above Joanne's mouth. Frohike rushed underneath her and caught her gracefully before she hit the ground.
She gasped. "Frohike!"
"Dana, are you alright?" He looked into her sapphire blue eyes.
"Y-Yes. All because of you, Melvin."
"I was just doing my job."
"Oh, Melvin, you saved my life. How can I ever repay you?"
Still holding Scully, he leaned in closer. "I just want you to be happy, Dana," he whispered.
Realizing she was still in his arms she said, "Oh, Melvin! Have you been working out?"
"I'm buff just for you my dear," Frohike cooed.
"That's so impressive! That's even better than anything my partner...what's his name again? That's better than anything he's ever done! Let's get married Melvin!"
"HEY!!! HEY!!! WHAT ABOUT ME? GUYS? GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" shouted Mulder. "SCULLY! GET OUT OF THAT BASTARD'S ARMS! SCULLY! I LOVE YOU! SCULLY! NO!"
"Do you hear something?" Scully asked, entranced in Frohike's gaze.
"No, only the sound of the nightingale singing of our love, Dana."
"That's so romantic," breathed Scully.
"So is this," said Frohike. And he moved in to kiss her.
***
He was just centimeters away from the lips he had longed to kiss since that fateful day eight years ago when Mulder brought Scully to meet the gunmen.
"Dana," he breathed.
"RISE AND SHINE, FROHIKE!"
Frohike opened his eyes and screamed. He was just centimeters away from Jimmy's face.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" cried Frohike, repelling back until his head hit the wall behind him.
"Man, someone needs a tic tac," said Jimmy fanning the air around his nose. "I came to wake you up for breakfast! I made oatmeal and sausage links!"
Frohike took a few seconds to let his heart slow down about a hundred beats per minute.
"Fine, jeez, never do that again! I'll be out in a bit."
"Okay." Jimmy turned to leave.
"Oh, and Frohike?"
"What?"
"Who's Dana?"
Frohike stared at Jimmy. "Never mind."
***
The End.
Author: Starbuck23
Rating: PG13
Spoilers: Well, there are many references to Dreamland I and II from TXF (see if you can find them all). I don't think there's anything else... though I'm not 100% sure. Oh well, it's almost 1 AM so forgive me.
Disclaimer: No one is mine, I'm sure of that. Everyone belongs to CC, 1013, Fox, and anyone else who owns them. I'm tired.
Notes: This was an idea I had about an eternity ago, but I totally forgot to jot down my ideas so now after rotting in my brain forever, it's practically diminished down to a big glob of nothing. Plus it's pretty late at night... or early in the morning, depending on your view. If you're wondering why on Earth I am typing this up now, it's because I wanted to finish it for my cousin's birthday (though she probably won't read this)... but I missed the deadline by 53 minutes...well more by the time this is posted. Now her birthday was yesterday. Oh well, I tried. Enjoy everyone. It's messed.
***
THE LONE GUNMEN HEAD QUARTERS
11:21 PM
"Jeremiah was a bull frog! Was a good friend of mine! Never understood a single word he said, but I helped him drink his wine!"
Frohike groaned loudly and turned over in his bed. He took his teddy bear and smushed it against his right ear while he smothered the left side of his head into his pillow.
"Joy to the world! All the boys and girls!"
He pulled his pillow out from under his head and put it over his head.
"Joy to the fishies in the deep blue sea!"
Nothing could drown out that awful singing. Nothing. Jimmy's voice and his music penetrated through every wall in the building.
"Joy to you and me!"
This MUST be the last time, prayed Frohike desperately.
"ONE MORE TIME!" Jimmy shouted out with the recording.
"NOOOO!" came a strangled cry. Frohike sat up in bed sending his pillow flying, practically knocking his poor teddy onto the floor. The cry was from Langly's room, of course. Even though he was completely irked by the guy, Frohike felt sorry for Jimmy. Boy did he have it coming.
CRASH!
The sound of Langly hurling a piece of hardware at Jimmy and his boom box.
"GO TO BED!" shouted Langly.
"Aww, I'm sorry Langly, I didn't realize I was being so loud. I-I was just so into the music, I didn't realize it. It was as if I became-"
SLAM!
Langly slammed the door in Jimmy's face.
"-part of the music," Frohike heard Jimmy finish more softly.
Frohike pressed his lips into a thin line. He listened as Jimmy swept up the pieces of broken hardware off the floor. He felt bad for the man, he really did, but he had it coming. Then Frohike recognized the sound of Byers' voice consoling Jimmy.
It was becoming almost routine now. Once or twice every few weeks, Jimmy would turn on one of his CDs or tapes and play it until everyone retired for the day. Then he'd get so enraptured with the music that he'd turn it up and sing and dance his heart out until Langly comes out and throws something at him.
Lucky for Jimmy, when Langly gets angry, Langly couldn't hit the side of a barn his aim was so bad. Not that his aim was much better when his emotions were not clouding up his mind. Frohike just hoped that Langly had thrown a piece of junk hardware instead of something that was valuable, an incident that happened about a month ago.
But afterwards, Jimmy would sweep up the mess and Byers would say a few words to him. Then the next morning Jimmy would make breakfast for them all to make up for the night before. It always turned out okay, except for the morning Jimmy dropped the hot eggs he was serving into Langly's lap. Langly wouldn't speak to Jimmy or anyone else for an entire week.
Frohike groaned as he got up from bed to retrieve his pillow and save poor teddy from the edge of the bed. Then he settled back into his sheets and let sleep wash over him while he wondered what Jimmy would prepare the next morning.
***
Frohike groggily awoke to the pungent smell of frying eggs and bacon. He breathed in deeply and sighed contently. The atmosphere of the night before had lifted completely. Got up, made his bed, and stuck teddy into a safe corner. After the rest of his morning routine, he joined Byers and Jimmy at the table.
"Jimmy," Frohike said sternly, "you've got to remember to turn off that blasted music of yours when we go to bed!"
"I know Frohike, I forgot. I was just so into the music I felt like a part of it. Like, you know, when you see a really hot chick and the only thing on your mind is that really hot chick. And Frohike, you start using all those lame pickup lines you know..."
"Hey! They're not lame!" protested Frohike indignantly.
"We understand what you mean, believe me," said Byers cutting in. "We've all witnessed Frohike's attempts at reeling women in."
Frohike glared at Byers.
"But he's right," Byers continued. "You must understand that you cannot play your music that loudly so late into the night."
"I know Byers. I'll try to remember next time."
"Thank you."
"Here, your guys' eggs are ready." Jimmy handed them each a plate. Byers' eggs were neatly scrambled, just the way he liked them, while Frohike's were sunny-side-up, the egg yolks perfectly in the center of each white.
Frohike had just sat down and was beginning to dig into his breakfast when Langly rushed into their dining area.
"Morning Langly. Here are your eggs. And you're just in time for the bacon," Jimmy offered with his usual irritating cheer and an annoyingly bright smile on his face.
"Forget the eggs man, we have bigger fish to fry," he said pushing the food away.
"Fish? You want fish for breakfast? Who caught fish?" Jimmy looked around, confused.
"No you egghead." Langly rolled his eyes.
"What's up?" asked Frohike, putting more salt onto his eggs.
"We have our next headline: Area 51: Government Conspiracy and Alien Alliance HQ"
"How'd you come up with this?" Byers asked. He eyed his comrade warily. Langly looked as if he didn't sleep at all the night before. His blonde hair was a mess and all knotted up.
"I hacked into some weird files last night and one thing lead to another and I ended up in the Area 51 database. They're having a big meeting later tonight. We need in on the action to publish the article. C'mon! We gotta get to Dreamland ASAP to catch this thing!"
***
AREA 51 (DREAMLAND)
LATER
"Ready to execute plan Blackwood?" Frohike whispered to the rest of the Lone Gunmen, via the bugs planted on him.
"Ready as we'll ever be," replied Byers.
"Oooh, this is so cool!"
"Shhhh! Quiet Jimmy! You're a box of supplies and boxes of supplies don't talk!" hissed Langly.
"Sorry," Jimmy whispered from inside a large box sitting in the back of a government owned vehicle. Langly sat cramped up in another box with his computer while Byers, dressed as a driver, manned the truck.
"Are you sure this will work, Frohike?" Byers inquired once more.
"Yes," hissed Frohike for what seemed like the hundredth time. Believe me, it works."
Frohike walked confidently towards the gate barricading them from their destination. Byers slowly drove behind him. As they approached, a security officer steps out of the security box.
"Halt," the security officer ordered. Aha, smiled Frohike. Langly had done good work. It was a female guard.
Piece of cake, thought Frohike as he met her gaze.
"Zuleikha. Zuleikha Snedden," Langly whispered.
Frohike cleared his throat.
"It's okay, I'm just delivering some supplies General Wegman personally ordered on rush."
Snedden frowned. "I'll need to see some ID and make a call up to the General's office to validate your entrance into the base."
"Hey, Officer Snedden. I'm a regular here. I make so many deliveries here in a day, it's mind numbing. Let's just skip the procedures once. There are better things to do than spend all your time delivering things to the General you know." He raised his eyebrows shamelessly.
Snedden bit her lip. "I'll have to do a count of what you have in your vehicle too."
"Hey," Frohike put a hand on the officer's arm and looked into her eyes. "Zuleikha. I don't want to waste any time. Just let me through this once. It won't hurt."
Frohike smiled as he watched her melt under his gaze.
"Alright," she said, her voice warming.
"Thanks." Frohike winked at her. She almost swooned.
"Wait!" she cried, making the visible gunmen jump. "Take these balloons," she said shyly. She grabbed two balloons out of her office and handed them to Frohike, blushing.
Pleased, Frohike took them.
"My charm never fails me," scoffed Frohike as soon as they were out of earshot.
"Wow," breathed Jimmy.
"Gag me," Langly said.
"Okay, we're in, but we need to know where we're going," Byers said, trying to avoid argument.
"It should be west from the entrance," said Langly. "That's where they're supposed to be."
The LGM found a large building. Once they broke in, they found it was a large warehouse. It was dimly lit with large machines, strange crafts, and chains everywhere.
"Alright guys, let's try to set up and get some recordings and video footage of this," ordered Frohike.
As soon as the guys stepped out of the truck, overhead lights came on, blinding them momentarily.
"Not so fast," a loud, evil-sounding voice said.
When the gunmen could see, they saw the president, a few senate members, and Bob Dole, along with a various number of aliens standing on risers above them.
"Mr. President?! Part of the conspiracy?!" gasped Byers.
"You are bad men," growled Jimmy.
"And we're here to report it to the people of this country!" Langly glared at the men...and creatures before him.
"I don't think so," said Bob Dole as he stuck a hunk of cheese in his mouth.
"Oh really?" retorted Frohike.
"Really, little man," said Dole.
Jimmy wrinkled his nose. "Peeuww. Man, someone needs a tic tac! Do you have one, Byers?" Jimmy turned around to face him.
"STOP! Don't move. Or else," threatened the president.
Frohike laughed. "Or else what?"
"Or else... this!"
Brighter lights turned on. When the bright dots stopped harassing the LGM's eyes they gasped. Bob Dole laughed evily.
"Oh yes, your friends have decided to stop by! Meet our beloved aliens from the planet Cheral. My, my. Isn't this interesting?"
Dole and the president walked up to the first gargantuan alien. Along with many other frightening features, it had an incredibly sharp and ragged horn on what could be considered its nose. What was more frightening was that Mulder was being dangled right on top of that horn. He hung there looking defiantly at the president and Dole.
"Lovely, isn't it?" said the president. "Its name is Sirk. I think Sirk would be more than delighted to have a federal agent sishkabob, don't you think?"
"And this beauty's name is Joanne. I see Joanne and your pretty red-headed friend here has gotten to know each other quite well." Joanne was a monster. She had long brown hair all over, reeked of salt and wine, and had a huge gaping mouth with rows of sharp teeth. Scully was millimeters away from becoming a snack for the hideous alien.
"I don't think so," growled Frohike. And faster than the speed of light, he delivered a series of karate punches and kicks to the men who represented America and knocked them out cold. Before anyone could react, he had grabbed Sirk and flung it into Joanne sending them soaring back into space.
Unfortunately, Sirk's horn had cut through the rope that had been holding Scully above Joanne's mouth. Frohike rushed underneath her and caught her gracefully before she hit the ground.
She gasped. "Frohike!"
"Dana, are you alright?" He looked into her sapphire blue eyes.
"Y-Yes. All because of you, Melvin."
"I was just doing my job."
"Oh, Melvin, you saved my life. How can I ever repay you?"
Still holding Scully, he leaned in closer. "I just want you to be happy, Dana," he whispered.
Realizing she was still in his arms she said, "Oh, Melvin! Have you been working out?"
"I'm buff just for you my dear," Frohike cooed.
"That's so impressive! That's even better than anything my partner...what's his name again? That's better than anything he's ever done! Let's get married Melvin!"
"HEY!!! HEY!!! WHAT ABOUT ME? GUYS? GET ME DOWN FROM HERE!" shouted Mulder. "SCULLY! GET OUT OF THAT BASTARD'S ARMS! SCULLY! I LOVE YOU! SCULLY! NO!"
"Do you hear something?" Scully asked, entranced in Frohike's gaze.
"No, only the sound of the nightingale singing of our love, Dana."
"That's so romantic," breathed Scully.
"So is this," said Frohike. And he moved in to kiss her.
***
He was just centimeters away from the lips he had longed to kiss since that fateful day eight years ago when Mulder brought Scully to meet the gunmen.
"Dana," he breathed.
"RISE AND SHINE, FROHIKE!"
Frohike opened his eyes and screamed. He was just centimeters away from Jimmy's face.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" cried Frohike, repelling back until his head hit the wall behind him.
"Man, someone needs a tic tac," said Jimmy fanning the air around his nose. "I came to wake you up for breakfast! I made oatmeal and sausage links!"
Frohike took a few seconds to let his heart slow down about a hundred beats per minute.
"Fine, jeez, never do that again! I'll be out in a bit."
"Okay." Jimmy turned to leave.
"Oh, and Frohike?"
"What?"
"Who's Dana?"
Frohike stared at Jimmy. "Never mind."
***
The End.