A/N: This is a plot bunny that just ran in front of the speeding truck known as my brain. The bunnie will either live and make it out intact or this will just be another story that ends up on the scrap heap somewhere.
Write a review, receive a reply. I hope you all enjoy the story.
Bubba
I do not own Kim Possible or any other character seen on the television show.
Kim and Ron arrived outside the Patterson house. It was late and the two had just returned from a very tough mission to defeat Duff Killigan who was trying to turn all the grass on golf courses around the world brown.
There was a loud party going on inside but they were not here to attend the party. It was an end of the season bash for the Middleton High School Football team. The party was being given by 5th year senior Brick Flagg and 6th year senior and fellow cheerleader Gina Patterson. The party was being held at the Patterson house due to the fact that Gina's parents were out of town for the weekend.
Kim looked up at the large two story home in one of Middleton's best subdivisions. She smirked and shook her head, "Sounds like the party is really kickin' in there."
Ron nodded his head, "Yea shame we can't stay I really think I could find me a girlfriend in there."
"I have the feeling you wouldn't want a girlfriend from in there." Kim said with a smirk.
He nodded, "Pretty wild crowd?"
Kim sniffed the air, "I think they're doing a little more than underage drinking in there."
The loud music was blaring from the house and Ron began to bob to the beat, "Bone Thugs?"
She listened to the tune for a bit, "No, I think it's Kurupt."
Kim started to sing along with the song coming out of the house.
"Now this this is one of them occasions
Where the homies not doin it right
I mean he found him a hoe that he like
But you can't make a hoe a housewife."
Ron stared at Kim in amazement.
She chuckled and shrugged, "What?"
"Nothing KP just..."
Kim interrupted him, "I've heard them once or twice on the radio."
"So not the O'Boyz." Ron said softly.
"Just knock on the door, find Gina and see if you can get her homework from Barkin's history class." Kim said as she rubbed her eyes. She was becoming tired from the mission and just wanted to head home.
"Why can't you do it?" Ron asked.
Kim frowned, "Ron they're smoking God knows what and drinking in there. Dad would kill me if I came home smelling like...like..." She whispered into his ear, "...weed."
Ron nodded, "OK, I'll go inside." He said as he knocked on the door.
There was no answer. Ron looked at Kim, "No answer, no one's home."
"RON!"
"OK, OK" Ron said as he knocked a little louder.
"OPEN THE GOD DAMMED DOOR ALREADY!" A voice screamed out from the other side of the door.
The two teen's eyes became as big as saucers. Ron shook his head, "He didn't sound too happy. We better go and come back tomorrow."
Kim sighed, "Ron just go inside and find Gina."
Ron swallowed hard as he opened the door. He walked inside and heard his name called out, "HEY IT'S THAT LOSER STOPPABLE...LET'S PANTS HIM!"
Kim walked around to the window and saw that Ron was making his way upstairs unmolested. She breathed a sigh of relief. She wished Barkin wouldn't have paired her with Gina Patterson to be her partner for this assignment. Yes she was a fellow cheerleader but she was older than the other girls. Which made her feel a bit uncomfortable because of the age difference, and because Gina ran with a pretty rough crowd.
A young man stumbled out the front door, unzipped his fly and began to urinate off the front porch. Kim turned her head quickly and walked to the other side to get as far away from the boy as possible, "Okay...that is just gross...Come on Ron."
The boy belched and headed back inside. Kim shook her head and returned to waiting for Ron. She bobbed her head to the beat of a new song, "I know Ron really likes this music. I don't mind it too much. I just wish they wouldn't use the 'N' word so much or call women bitches and hoe's."
"Hey you're kind of hot!"
Kim turned to see another boy urinating off the porch. She shook her head and turned her back to him.
"See anything you like? HEY, I'm talking to you..."
"...and I'm ignoring you if you haven't noticed." Kim told him trying to sound as tough as she could.
She saw him turn and stagger towards her in a reflection in the mirror, "I guess he's not going to take no for an answer." She thought as she waited for the boy to come into range.
The drunk boy reached out to grab Kim but she spun around quickly planted her knee into his groin. Kim grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him and turned him towards the steps. She let his arm go, jumped into the air and kicked him in the butt as hard as she could. The boy flew off the top of the stairs into the yard where he landed on his face. He tried to get up before collapsing in a heap.
"Stupid drunks...come on Ron..." She peaked inside the window again, "Come on Ron...You better not be partying in there."
Kim continued to wait and pace back and forth, "I'll give him another 10 minutes and then I'm going in after him."
Fifteen minutes later she spotted him running down the stairs with a drunken man chasing him, "STOPPABLE YOU MESS WITH MY WOMAN AGAIN..."
She sighed, "He was partying..."
Ron ran out the door and jumped off the steps, turned up the street running for his life. The man followed him out and Kim promptly tripped him up, took him to the ground and sent the man to slumber land with a vicious right cross.
Kim rose to her feet to take off in pursuit of Ron. She ran till she was getting winded when she broke into a jog. Finally after 12 blocks she spotted Ron on the horizon running up the stairs to her house.
She finally reached him as he lay on the ground panting, "You alright?"
He held up a bunch of papers, "Yea...yea...I think so...I lost my buzz from the second hand smoke though."
Kim shook her head, "Great, that'll teach you to spend time in those kind of partys."
Ron looked up, "I wasn't partying. It took me that long to find Gina and then Gina had to put her panties on, then she had to find her book bag..."
"Panties...ho...Hold on back up. Why did you have to wait for her to put on her panties?" She asked wanting to know more about what was going on inside.
He sat up, "She was in bed with her boyfriend and..."
Kim's eyes went wide, "And you walked in on them?"
Ron shook his head, "You wanted the homework assignment."
"OK, OK, so what happened then?"
"Uh she said I'd have to wait my turn and began laughing..."
"RON!" Kim exclaimed in shock.
He held up his hand, "She was joking...then she crawled out of bed looked around for her panties and then..."
"Wait, wait, wait, you watched her hunt for her panties?"
"Well Shaaaaaaaa, I'm not going to miss a show like that...She shaves..." Ron said sounding a little too nonchalant for Kim's comfort..
Kim winced, "Ughhhh...Too much information Ron...OK...Go on..."
"Well she found her book bag and handed me what she the assignment. Her boyfriend woke up and she lunged into my arms telling me how good I was..." Ron said chuckling.
"WHAT?"
Ron shook his head, "I don't know what she was doing, anyway...her boyfriend kind of flew out of bed and began chasing me. He tried to punch me but I was too fast. I ran down the stairs and ran and ran and ran until I got here."
Kim tilted her head and processed the story. She narrowed her eyes, "Ron, are you high?"
He laughed, "I will admit to enjoying the second hand smoke. I don't think I breathed enough to get high...Rufus did though."
"Rufus?"
Ron reached into his pocket and pulled out his pet naked mole rat. Rufus was wearing a pair of rectangular glasses with a tie die head band wrapped around his tiny head, "Heyyyyyyyyyyyy" he said happily while flashing Kim the peace sign with his little paw.
Kim blinked, "Oh wow...he is high."
Ron put the limp and mellow mole rat back into his pocket, "You have your assignment, I'm tired, and I better get home before Rufus gets the munchies. Talk to you tomorrow KP." He said as he walked off towards his house.
"Thanks Ron." Kim said as she walked towards her front door.
She stopped and turned to make sure Ron made it home alright, "I think he may have been in more danger in that house than we faced against Killigan."
II
A few months later after the party that Ron had to crash in order to get the papers that Kim needed was long forgotten and after the holiday break the kids of Middleton High School returned to their normal routine school schedule.
Kim and Ron passed the two months fighting freaks, crime fighting and getting on at their jobs of being teen heroes. Blissfully unaware of the twist of fate that appeared could change their lives forever had put into motion.
Gina Patterson had become pregnant and turned twenty one years of age. According to Colorado State Law she could no longer attend high school any longer. Gina's father was livid about the pregnancy and had demanded that she provide the name of the father to him.
He intended to make sure the young man lived up to his responsibilities by marrying his daughter or at least by paying child support and living up to his obligations as a father. Gina was not much of a help in his efforts. All the information she would provide is that she became pregnant during the party that was held in his home.
Edward Patterson was the head of the Middleton School board and thus wielded great power within the walls of Middleton High School. He had a list of all the boys that had attended the party and he was going to make them submit DNA samples in order to prove paternity. He knew that Gina had boyfriends in college but at least if nothing else he was going to rule out as many suspects as he could.
Kim and Ron walked into their first period Social Studies class and took seats across the isle from each other just as they had on any other day in school. Kim waved at Monique as she entered the class, "Hey Mo, glad the holiday break is over?"
Monique narrowed her eyes, "Are you crazy girl, it's never long enough."
"Yup, yup, I hear that..." Ron said happily.
Before class could get under way Assistant Principle Steve Barkin entered the room. He looked around the room and looked at a note pad, "Will the following students please leave the room and stand outside the door."
Kim and Ron looked at one another and shrugged.
"Shaun Davis, Eric Morgan, Ron Reger..."
Ron looked at Kim and whispered, "Ha, it's not me."
"Ronald Stoppable...Outside men...now." Barkin ordered as he left the room.
Kim and Monique looked at one another and shrugged as they watched Ron leave the class room.
Ron joined the other boys outside the room. Barkin glared at them, "Alright, let's make this snappy. Everyone follow me to the nurse's office."
Barkn marched down the hallway with the boys in tow. Ron tried to be last in line but Ron Reger had beaten him to the back. He was more than a little curious as to what was going on and then it hit him, "Oh man, I bet they lost my vaccination records. I'm not taking the smallpox shot again."
They reached the nurse's office. Ron's eyebrows shot up when he seen a long line of other boys standing outside the nurses office, "Draft maybe?" He pondered.
He waited and waited as one boy after another entered the office. From time to time he could hear screaming and cursing from inside. This did not do anything to calm his nerves. Ron looked at Barkin who was standing guard outside the door. Barkin only glared at him in contempt, "Man what is going on?"
Josh Mankey walked out of the office, "I don't even know Gina..." He said loudly as he stepped out of the office.
Ron held up a hand, "Josh what's going on?"
Before he could answer Barkin bellowed out, "NO TALKING...Mankey keep walking."
Josh rolled his eyes and walked down the hallway.
"You're up Stoppable."
Ron stepped into the nurse's office. He did his best to keep his knees from shaking. The nurse looked up, "Mr. Stoppable were you at a party at Gina Patterson's house on November 13th?"
He tilted his head and thought, "I...I don't think so...Oh yea, yea, I was only there for a few minutes."
She handed him a cotton ball, "Swap the inside of your mouth then we'll take a blood sample from you."
"Why...am I coming down with something? What's going on?"
The nurse frowned, "This is just a standard test to determine paternity."
"WHAT?" Ron screamed.
Barkin entered the office, "Are you going to make me hold you down Stoppable?"
Ron's shoulders slumped, "No"
III
The wait in line had taken the better part of the morning. It was lunch time and he was starving. He walked down the hall, he spotted Bonnie Rockwaller who looked at him in contempt.
"I can't believe a loser like you was at that party. I guess you don't have anything to worry about. The only way you're going to get a girl pregnant is to beat off in her bathwater."
Ron winched and kept walking. He felt like turning and saying something clever to Bonnie but he was just too worn out from the stress of the morning. Ron smirked, "Watch out Bonnie or I'll come by your house tonight and beat off in your bath water...Man I should have said that."
Kim saw him coming, "I heard why they called you out of class. I'm sorry Ron if I knew what was going to happen...I could have waited till Saturday to get her homework."
"No big KP." Ron said.
She could hear the tiredness in his voice, "Ready for lunch?'
"Oh yea."
They strolled to the cafeteria. Ron pointed at several things that appeared to be edible in the line. He ordered some cheese sticks for Rufus and sat down at the usual table to wait for Kim and Monique. He took Rufus from his pocket, "I bet you're glad I didn't tell them you were there."
Rufus nodded his head vigorously, "Uh huh, uh huh."
Monique sat down and grinned evilly at him, "So are you the daddy?"
Ron laughed, "Not likely, I wasn't in there that long."
Kim pulled up a chair and sat with them, "Paternity test, I bet you feel like a big time player now."
He laughed, "You guys are just loving this aren't you."
Monique nodded, "You betcha."
Kim smiled, "Ron da' player is in da house."
Ron grinned, "Stop it, I'm no more a player than Josh is."
"Speaking of Josh, are you going out with him on Friday?" Monique asked.
"I think so..." Kim answered before pushing a fork full of something in her mouth.
"Josh was ahead of me in the line." Ron said as he ate.
Kim stopped eating, "He was...he was at the party that night?"
Ron shrugged, "I didn't see him."
"hmmmm...I'll ask him about it on Friday." She said as she pushed her worries from her mind.
Bonnie and Tara walked behind Ron and glared at the other two girls, "I don't know why they tested your loser friend. I mean he can't even get a girlfriend much less make one pregnant."
Kim smirked, "So you think Brick's the father then?"
Bonnie's eyes shot open, "N...No, come on Tara." She growled before she turned and walked away.
Ron shrugged, "Well Bonnie always has such nice things to say. I really would like a girlfriend though. Go out on dates and stuff. I get kind of tired being alone."
"You're not alone. You got me..." Kim said absently.
"...and you got Josh." Ron reminded her.
Kim shrugged, "Don't worry Ron I'm sure there is someone out there for you."
He looked over at Monique, "Hey you're not seeing anyone Monique, do you want to be my girlfriend?" He asked teasingly.
Monique was half listening and didn't realize that Ron was only kidding. She stuttered and stammered a bit, "Uh...no...no...I mean...I'm flattered really but...I think we should just remain friends."
Ron winced, "Yea...I hear that a lot."
"Well Ron...I mean I don't know how to say this but...the way you...kind of act ...you're just not good boyfriend material." Monique said quietly.
"Huh?"
Kim glared at Monique, "What do you mean by that?"
Monique froze, "Well I mean...No offense Ron but you wear the same clothes all the time. You don't really act very mature and...no offense Rufus...carrying around a naked mole rat is kind of...odd."
Ron frowned, "I was only kidding...I guess you're right though." He said sadly as he rose from the table gathered up Rufus, "Hey...I'll see you ladies later..." Ron said trying to sound his usual upbeat self.
Kim turned on Monique once Ron was out of earshot, "What are doing? He was only kidding around."
"What? I thought he was serious." Monique defended herself.
"He was just saying how great it would be to have a girlfriend and was trying to tease you a little...and then you have to stomp all over him...I don't believe you." Kim said angrily.
"Well, you be his girlfriend then. I mean you're with him all the time anyway." Monique shot back.
Kim rolled her eyes, "Oh we've been down this road so many times Monique. Ron and I just friends, we've been friends forever and there is no interest from either of us in changing that."
"You don't want to change that because of the very things I told him." Monique hissed.
"Not true...Ron is...Ron is just...Ron is just a little different, that's all."
Monique stood up, "You don't want to be seen dating a loser because that is all Ron is."
Kim stood up quickly and took off after Monique, "That's not true and you know it."
"That is true and you know it." Monique countered.
"No it's not true." Kim said defiantly.
Monique put her tray on the dirty rack and turned to face Kim, "Girl the only reason you let him hang out with you is because you feel sorry for him. Be real, how many of those missions do you go on do you actually need him?"
Kim stood up straight, "Lots"
"You are so in denial." Monique said as she turned and walked away from Kim towards her next class.
"This isn't over Monique." Kim hollered down the hallway.
IV
Ron walked quickly back to his locker and pulled out the books he was going to need for his next class. Monique's words were buzzing around in his head, "Maybe Bonnie and the others are right...I'm not really boyfriend material."
A little piece of pride flickered somewhere in Ron Stoppable's soul. He slammed his locker door angruily, "I am too boyfriend material." He said to himself.
He turned and looked down the hallway. He spotted Ellen Neighbors, she wasn't a bad looking girl. A brunette that Ron knew to be a freshman and he being a worldly Junior could surely land her as a girlfriend.
Ron strode up to Ellen, "Hey Ellen, I'm Ron Stoppable..."
"I know who you are. You drove your dad's riding lawn mower into the side of my mom's car last year." She reminded him.
"Oh...hee, hee, hee that long ago huh...Hey, would you like to go out with me on Friday night?" Ron said hoping desperately to salvage a date out of his latest embarrassing episode.
Ellen looked at him strangely and then mouthed the word 'NO' before walking away from him at a brisk pace.
Ron frowned, "Some people never forgive."
V
Kim sat in class waiting for Ron to appear, "Where could he be? He left before we did." She thought as she kept an eye on the door.
Ron stumbled into the room looking sadder than she had ever seen him in her life. He slunk into the seat opposite from her. Kim smiled uneasily, "Hey, how's it going?"
"Monique's right...I asked 8 girls out and got 7 'no's' and one 'Hell no' Monique's right." He said sadly.
"No she isn't." Kim said firmly.
"First Bonnie, then Monique, man...I really am a loser." Ron said quietly.
Before Kim could respond Mr. Barkin strode into the room, "Open your books to page 137 people...Today we learn about prepositions."
Kim smirked, "So does he teach every class?"
Ron stared off into space and began to let his mind wonder, "So Gina Patterson is pregnant...I'd like to be a dad someday..."
"Stoppable are you paying attention?" Barkin asked.
"No" Ron answered absently.
"Detention"
"OK" Ron mumbled.
Kim reached over while Barkin's back was turned to the black board and opened Ron's book up for him.
Ron didn't seem to notice, "I think I'd be a good dad...Who am I kidding? I can't even get a girlfriend much less be a dad...So they're looking for the father of Gina's baby...They don't know who it is...What would happen if I said it was mine?"
A wide grin crossed Ron's face, "I'm going to Gina's house and tell her I'm the father. She was so out of it that night she wouldn't know if I was the real father or not and...no that's a stupid idea...but it just might work!" Ron thought happily.
Kim was still eyeing her friend and recognized the smile on his face, "Oh no, what's he going to do now?"