Disclaimer:- Stargate SG1 belongs to the nice folks at MGM, Gekko Film
Corp, etc. Kermit the frog belongs to the Jim Henson Company (at time of
writing- it may go to Disney)
Warning: - Unbetaed. (I had to publish this v. quickly of risk going the way of the dodo. I say such at risk of sounding cliché.) Rating for innuendo and a swear word.
Summary- Jack's intergalactic stalker makes a HUGE mistake.
For Joss- who gave me the idea, and threatened me with extinction if I didn't write something up soon.
"Very funny Thor, now beam up my clothes." growled a rather red, rather angry Jack O'Neill.
"I apologise O'Neill. I did not realise. I shall rectify this immediately." Thor moved his tiny grey hand over the controls and a pile f clothes appeared in front of Jack. He picked up the pile and shook it out. They weren't his.
"Thor!" Bellowed Jack.
"O'Neill." Blinked the tiny Asgard, in a manner somewhat reminiscent of Teal'c. If he had eyebrows, he would have raised one.
"These are not my clothes."
"They were present in the same storeroom as the one which you were in."
"Thor!" Jack shook his head in disgust, "Just, send these back and beam up my clothes."
"Very well." He motioned over the controls again. "Oh dear."
"Oh dear?"
"It appears that someone else is wearing your clothes."
"Oh fercryingoutloud... Can't you just swap the clothes around or something?"
"I cannot."
"Whatdyamean you can't? Yu can beam me up here, butt naked, but you can't beam up some measly clothes?"
"Butt naked?"
Jack growled and Thor looked although he were cowering, it reminded Jack of Kermit the frog.
"Just get my clothes up here." The unspoken "Now" hung heavy in the air.
"Thor actually gulped and fiddled around with his control pad. Jack's clothes magically appeared before them, containing one very, very pissed off Major Carter. She glowered at Jack who pointed innocently to Thor. Sam's eyes narrowed. Thor began to back away slowly. It was too late.
"You pathetic little bug, I'll kick your scrawny grey ass. I don't mind you intergalatically stalking my lover, but this is the last straw. Oh you are sooooo dead. Yes, run, wait till I catch you. I'll make you wish you'd never been born...well cloned. You're gonna wish Netu was still around, because I guarantee it would be paradise compared with what I have planned for you."
As Sam continued her onslaught, and chasing the Asgard around the ship, Thor managed to let out a feeble "Colonel O'Neill. Help!"
Jack suddenly felt sorry for the little guy, and besides he wanted his clothes back, it was getting chilly.
"OK Sam, that's enough." He pulled his 2IC off of Thor, but not before she landed one last smack and commented "And that's for Roswell."
"Sam...my clothes if you don't mind."
"I don't want him watching." She pointed lividly at Thor.
Jack laughed and said "I don't think he'll be seeing anything for a while." Referring to Thor's swollen eyes. His skin had gone from an unhealthy grey to a sickly yellow. That was some serious bruising.
Sam and Jack swapped clothes while Thor searched blindly for some dohickey or another which would make him better. They all finished at the same time, so jack decided to get on with business.
"So, Thor...what did you zap me up for this time?" Jack then murmured under his breath, "and if we have to save you from the replicators again..."
Thor heard the unvoiced threat loud and clear. He didn't want to face any further Tau're wrath, so without saying a word, he beamed them back down. As far as he was concerned, Heimdall could ask them, because he was not suicidal enough to ask for aid after this fiasco.
Warning: - Unbetaed. (I had to publish this v. quickly of risk going the way of the dodo. I say such at risk of sounding cliché.) Rating for innuendo and a swear word.
Summary- Jack's intergalactic stalker makes a HUGE mistake.
For Joss- who gave me the idea, and threatened me with extinction if I didn't write something up soon.
"Very funny Thor, now beam up my clothes." growled a rather red, rather angry Jack O'Neill.
"I apologise O'Neill. I did not realise. I shall rectify this immediately." Thor moved his tiny grey hand over the controls and a pile f clothes appeared in front of Jack. He picked up the pile and shook it out. They weren't his.
"Thor!" Bellowed Jack.
"O'Neill." Blinked the tiny Asgard, in a manner somewhat reminiscent of Teal'c. If he had eyebrows, he would have raised one.
"These are not my clothes."
"They were present in the same storeroom as the one which you were in."
"Thor!" Jack shook his head in disgust, "Just, send these back and beam up my clothes."
"Very well." He motioned over the controls again. "Oh dear."
"Oh dear?"
"It appears that someone else is wearing your clothes."
"Oh fercryingoutloud... Can't you just swap the clothes around or something?"
"I cannot."
"Whatdyamean you can't? Yu can beam me up here, butt naked, but you can't beam up some measly clothes?"
"Butt naked?"
Jack growled and Thor looked although he were cowering, it reminded Jack of Kermit the frog.
"Just get my clothes up here." The unspoken "Now" hung heavy in the air.
"Thor actually gulped and fiddled around with his control pad. Jack's clothes magically appeared before them, containing one very, very pissed off Major Carter. She glowered at Jack who pointed innocently to Thor. Sam's eyes narrowed. Thor began to back away slowly. It was too late.
"You pathetic little bug, I'll kick your scrawny grey ass. I don't mind you intergalatically stalking my lover, but this is the last straw. Oh you are sooooo dead. Yes, run, wait till I catch you. I'll make you wish you'd never been born...well cloned. You're gonna wish Netu was still around, because I guarantee it would be paradise compared with what I have planned for you."
As Sam continued her onslaught, and chasing the Asgard around the ship, Thor managed to let out a feeble "Colonel O'Neill. Help!"
Jack suddenly felt sorry for the little guy, and besides he wanted his clothes back, it was getting chilly.
"OK Sam, that's enough." He pulled his 2IC off of Thor, but not before she landed one last smack and commented "And that's for Roswell."
"Sam...my clothes if you don't mind."
"I don't want him watching." She pointed lividly at Thor.
Jack laughed and said "I don't think he'll be seeing anything for a while." Referring to Thor's swollen eyes. His skin had gone from an unhealthy grey to a sickly yellow. That was some serious bruising.
Sam and Jack swapped clothes while Thor searched blindly for some dohickey or another which would make him better. They all finished at the same time, so jack decided to get on with business.
"So, Thor...what did you zap me up for this time?" Jack then murmured under his breath, "and if we have to save you from the replicators again..."
Thor heard the unvoiced threat loud and clear. He didn't want to face any further Tau're wrath, so without saying a word, he beamed them back down. As far as he was concerned, Heimdall could ask them, because he was not suicidal enough to ask for aid after this fiasco.