Waz would never admit it, but he really hated his job. After all, what was there to like about buying and selling dead bodies?
It wasn't that he was morally opposed to the business. It was just that: a business. His cousin's business to be precise. And it was a lucrative business at that. To a goblin, it was absurd to be opposed to any lucrative business, regardless of its means or the kind of people you had to deal with. Which was why Waz would never admit that he hated everything about his job. From dealing with the characters who sold them the bodies, to digging up fresh graves, to carting the bodies to the shady rendezvous points, and finally dealing the the Cult of the Damned itself.
He hated the whole thing. Except the payout. That made it all worth it.
Lost in his thoughts Waz winced when he heard the cart's wheel crack against a rock. "Yo, Blubber! Watch where you're pullin' that thing! You're gonna break the wheel or the axle, and then we're gonna end up as a meal for the Scourge."
The hobgoblin hauling the cart laden with wrapped bodies frowned and his lower lip wobbled. "Blubber sorry..."
Waz hated that he felt bad for the big lug and he waved his hand dismissively. "It's ok, Blubber. Just be careful." He looked around then for Gidgy, who was a small ways away off the path. "Gidgy!" he hissed.
The young female goblin looked up, her large ears bouncing a little. She blinked at him and then came trotting back. "Yeah, boss?"
"What're you doin' over there? You're supposed to be steerin' Blubber. He almost just broke the cart wheel." He whapped the back of her head.
"Owowow," she whined. "I'm sorry, boss. I thought I saw somethin' shiny over there. Thought maybe it was gold 'er somethin'."
Waz curled his lip. "There's no gold just lyin' around on the side of the road, Gidgy. Now do yer job. The Ghostlands are fuckin' creepy. I wanna get this over with."
"Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry, boss." She didn't seem that sorry, but she took her place next to Blubber again.
Waz doubted that very few felt better when they were entering the Plaguelands, but as soon as they passed through the gate that lead out of the desolated elven lands he sighed in relief. It meant that they were almost done with their job. The rendezvous point was just down the road at the outskirts of Browman Mill.
None of the Scourge creatures roaming the blighted land bothered them. A few turned curious and even hungry eyes as they caught the scent of the their cargo, but somehow they knew that their little caravan was not to be disturbed. Two cultists were waiting for them as they approached.
They made Waz' skin crawl. Their blank, but somehow eager stares. Their pallid complexions. Their dark, tattered robes. These men were not undead. They had chosen their devotion to the Scourge. He couldn't imagine what would prompt any living being to do so. There wasn't any profit in it as far as he could see. Secret dark magics and power over life and death was all well and good, but what good were they really when you couldn't use them to your own financial benefit?
He just didn't get it. But then again he didn't have to. All he had to do was do business with them.
"Allo, Waz!" one of the cultists called out. The goblin recognized him by his voice immediately, and he felt a little better. They were so hard to tell apart. Elves and humans all looked the same anyway, but with the dark face paint and the cowles the cultists were practically identical as far as he was concerned.
"Meruvis. Good to see you," he answered, with a faint, nervous chuckle.
"And you as well, my friend. We're very excited to see what you've brought us today." Meruvis Ramsey, also known as Meruvis the Blightrender, was always friendly and chipper, which made Waz' supremely uncomfortable. It just didn't seem right. No man who worshipped undeath should be so amiable. But perhaps that was just what happened when you found your true calling in life. The human gestured to the other cultist. "This is my comrade, Etonius. Since you're coming from the elfy lands, thought it would be good to bring an elfy along. Know the goods, 'ey?" Meruvis chuckled, rubbing his hands together.
Waz glanced at the other cultist who was doing a much better job of being cultish. His face was hidden in the dark shadow of his hood, and he stood stonily, not saying anything. "Uh, yeah. Yeah, whatever you want, Merv," he said, wringing his own hands.
Meruvis stood there, looking at Waz expectantly, and when nobody moved he piped, "Well, let's lay 'em out, shall we?"
"Right! Right, yeah. Sure." Waz turned towards the hobgoblin. "Blubber! Start unloadin'. Be careful. Lay 'em out nice."
Blubber nodded and set the cart down, lumbering around to the back and unlocking the tailgate. He reached for the first body, cradling it gently in its swaddling and lay it down just as gently on the ground. As he did the cultists came around, and Meruvis crouched down, beginning to unwrap the first body with the glee of a child on Winter Veil morning. But he made a disappointed sound.
"Oh, this one's a bit gone, it's it?" he tsked.
Waz looked on. "Ah, yeah that's onna the Wretched. There's a few of those in there. The bodies are kind of everywhere on the outskirts of the towns. I figured... waste not, want not, right?"
"Oh, good thought, Waz," Meruvis piped. "I'm not saying they're not useful, just not... real quality items, are they?"
"Well, there's better, I promise. Maybe we can, uh, make a bundle deal with those, huh?"
Meruvis made a thoughtful humming sound and moved on to the next body. He was more pleased with this one. A female ranger Waz' supplier said had died only the day before. Her throat had been ripped out, but Meruvis didn't seem to think that was too much of a problem.
There were about ten bodies in all. By the time Blubber had laid them all out Meruvis and his companion were just unwrapping number six. When the body was fully uncovered Meruvis whistled, and even the staunchly silent Etonius made a grunting sound of approval.
"Well now, 'ere's a pretty picture. All wrapped up in funerary garb and even preserved. This wasn't just anybody." He looked over at the goblin. "Where'd you get this body, Waz?"
Waz walked over and looked down. "Oh yeah! That guy. Got him from my supplier special. Used to be a paladin. A holy paladin, no less. I know how you guys like the paladins. Thought you'd be real interested in this one."
"Oh, yes," Meruvis breathed, reaching out to caress the corpse's face with his hand.
"They had a special funeral and everything. Had his body preserved by the magisters, cause there was an investigation or somethin'. I know you don't always like 'em too dead."
"Oh, no, he's perfect. He's still got good color and everything. He even smells nice. Funerary herbs. That is really lovely, that is."
"The body is not in perfect shape." Etonius' voice was deep and flat.
Meruvis twisted his lips and started to inspect the body further. "Oh, yeah. Lots of corporeal damage. Lots of lacerations. Bit overkill, really. Though, I have to say, whoever prepared the body for the funeral did a good job coverin' it up." He glanced up at the elven cultist. "Nothin' that can't be fixed with good runework."
Etonius shrugged and nodded, and the two cultists moved on to inspect the remaining bodies. After a few minutes Meruvis faced Waz again. Gidgy had made herself scarce when the body unloading began.
"Alright, Waz. We'll take the lot. How's about 200 gold?" Meruvis said.
Waz balked. "Two hundred? Merv, c'mon. I paid more than that wholesale to my supplier just to get the bodies. That doesn't include bringin' 'em down here to ya. That lot's worth a thousand at least. Hell, that paladin alone is worth 300."
Meruvis made a thoughtful humming sound. "He is a very nice specimen..." he sighs. "Alright, how about 500 gold for the lot?"
Waz shakes his head. "No can do, Merv. 750 is my bottom line."
Etonius growled, "How about we let you leave with your life and we pay you nothing?"
Waz balked at that and took a step back. "Hey, now. Let's not get hasty!"
Meruvis tsked and shook his head. "Now, now, Etonius. That's not how we do business with our partners. Waz here has been a good supplier. And he'll continue to be a good supplier. You can't go just threatenin' to kill our business partners. We'd be out of business quick, like. We deal with Waz an' his cousin on the up and up." He looked at the dour elf. "You remember that in case you ever have to do this without me."
Etonius grunted and curled his lip beneath his hood.
Waz laughed nervously. "Alright, look. Let's settle at 650. That'll pay for my expenses, and we gotta make a little off the top. This isn't a pleasant business, afterall."
Meruvis sighed. "No. It's not, is it." He twisted his lips and then nodded. "You drive a hard bargain, Waz. Wouldn't expect less from a goblin, though. Etonius, count it out. I'm gonna start raisin' these lesser ones. They can help us carry the good ones back to Acherus."
Waz cleared his throat. "You think you could wait until, yanno, I'm outta here?"
Meruvis grinned, showing darkly stained teeth. His expression turned fiendish, his eyes fever bright. "We're busy men, Waz. S'like your people say: time is money."
He stretched his hand out towards the first Wretched corpse, and dark magic began to coalesce around his fingers, reaching outwards towards the body. Waz took a few more steps back, reaching up to stroke Blubber's hand soothingly. The hobgoblin was shying now like a spooked animal. "S'alright, Blubber. Just take the cart an' go find Gidgy."
The sickening sound of wet, twisting flesh and crunching bones came from the corpse as it twitched and made a gurgling sound. It began to rise up, body jointed unnaturally. Stiff in some places, too relaxed in others. Waz swallowed, feeling nervous, disgusted, and fascinated all that the same time. He glanced at Etonius, who seemed to be taking his own sweet time about counting out the money.
Meruvis had reanimated three of the lesser "quality" corpses by the time the elven cultist tossed Waz the sack of coins. It felt wonderfully heavy in his hands, and that feeling was almost enough to chase away his horror as the three undead bodies shambled around in initial confusion, groaning balefully. The goblin swallowed, knowing it was good business sense to count the coins, but he had no desire to linger with the two cultists and their new companions any longer.
"Well, Merv. S'been nice doin' business with you. Enjoy yer, ah, purchases." The goblin was already backing back towards the road.
The cultist turned to him, his eyes seemed to glow they were so bright. "Oh, yes. We will, Waz. You can be sure of that. See you next time." He grinned that manic grin again and then turned back to the task at hand.
Once he'd backed out of sight of the cultists and their grisly collection he turned on his heels and ran for the road. His relief was palpable when he saw the cart, Blubber standing with the handles in his hands and Gidgy perched on the front. Panting, he climbed up next to her and shuddered.
"I'm tellin' you, Gidgy, we gotta find a new racket. This shit's too fuckin' creepy, even for the payout," he grumbled.
Gidgy gave Blubber's rump a nudge with her toe, sending him on his way. The cart bumped and creaked under them as they turned to go back to Silvermoon City. "Whatever you say, boss," she answered noncommittally, holding her hand out for her percentage.