Disclaimer: I don't own Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Dedicated to anyone who has enjoyed a lemon. Most especially to Laurie Bunter, who helped write this, who has enjoyed lemons and who has written enjoyable lemons.

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In the trashcan of a publishing house, a manuscript has been forgotten. It says…

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Notes for the editors

Introduction: Hey guys, I finally got brave enough to submit this. I hope you like it a lot. I like it a lot. I hope other people will like it and you will like that they like it. I'm a long time fan of the books you publish: Hot in the Plugsuit and Kissing During Second Impact melted my heart and inspired me to believe that love can be found in the post-apocalyptic world, and inspired me to write this. This is the first story I've written and I'm real proud of myself. It's not nearly as good as Love Triangle in Tokyo-3, but it's pretty close! Please be kind and read and review. Thank you!

Rating: S for Steamy, anybody? I'm kidding. But it's definitely an R for Romantic. Sigh.

Length: Really long! It's 4,008 words long!

Summary: This is the heart-warming story of a class representative struggling to earn a scholarship for Tokyo-3 University, and an aspiring athlete whose dream a record number of Olympic gold medals before he turns twenty. And these two fall in love and they look so cute together!

One more thing.

Disclaimer: All characters and settings are fictional. Any similarities to existing people and locations are completely coincidental.

Okay, got that out of the way! Here we go! Enjoy!

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Wicked Courting, Part 1: Skipping Class Representative Duties to Play with Balls

by Hikari Horaki

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Chapter One: A Sexy Entrance with Extra Cheese

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It is a truth universally acknowledged that a high school girl without a boyfriend is doomed to be unpopular for the rest of her life.

Take a look at Hikari Hirako as she completes her homework for the night.

She had just spent five hours completing advanced calculus, in addition to mastering the nuances of three other foreign languages, in addition to learning molecular engineering, in addition to cooking for and looking after her two younger sisters. Since their father ran away with another woman, it had been up to the eldest daughter to look after the family since their mother worked two full-time jobs (just to pay for the rent). Hikari Hirako desperately needed to get the top marks in the country so she could gain a full scholarship to the top university in all of Japan, Tokyo-3 University, because her family had no way of paying for it. And so Hikari Hirako sighed after her day was done and no wonder: All the other girls in her class had boyfriends and she didn't since she had no time to go on any dates! How could she possibly rectify this nightmare!

She looked at herself in the mirror. She was a young girl, only sixteen, and she thought she looked hideous; her face was plain, her figure was slim, her hips were a little too round and curvaceous, she had a healthy tan, her breasts were medium-sized and bounced cheerfully whenever she moved, and she had freckles! Oh, how she hated the freckles. The other girls teased her mercilessly for the freckles, and for the pigtails she wore. And Hikari couldn't do a thing about either one of those: the freckles were natural and she couldn't afford makeup, while Hikari loved her pigtails too much to part ways with them. Oh, poor Hikari Hirako would never get a boyfriend with these looks!

Again, the girl sighed (at least she did not cry herself to sleep this night, though). Prince Charming had yet to arrive and she was old enough to know he wasn't ever going to come.

Well, she wasn't pretty but she had worked pretty hard all day and it was time for some rest. Hikari let go of the dream of a wonderful boyfriend for yet another day and prepared for bed.

Then, the doorbell rang.

"Strange," mused Hikari Hirako, "who could that be at this late hour? Mother is still at work and my sisters are both out having sleepovers tonight so I'm the only one here. I might as well answer the door since it might be important."

It might be destiny.

So Hikari put on her housecoat—she wasn't decent to meet anyone with what she currently wore underneath the robe—and left her room. She went down the hall and down the stairs to the landing.

Ring ring ring! The doorbell rang again and again.

"I'm coming, I'm coming!" she called, shaking her head at this visitor's impatience to pass through her threshold.

Finally, she got to the door. In a hurry, she did not have time to look through the peephole and see who this stranger was before she opened the door. As a result, she was not prepared for what she was about to see.

The door opened. A man came into her home and into her heart.

What the man said next could best be described as nothing short of poetry. "Pizza's here. Hot and fresh and covered with enough juicy sausage to delight any woman's mouth."

Hikari's heart throbbed and she blushed when she first looked at this stranger. He was tall and certainly the most handsome man she had ever met. He wore a red uniform shirt that could not contain the well-defined muscles of his arms and abs, and he wore very short shorts that showed off the impressive muscles in his legs. Oh, sigh, and his face—it was beautiful. Perfect brown hair, the best ears she had ever seen, an authoritative nose, a powerful jaw and the eyes, oh, the hazel eyes, pierced into Hikari Hirako's soul. He was so hot it was making her hot inside.

"Ma'am, your pizza?" he asked politely, like a gentleman should, when it became clear she was staring. "You ordered a man pizza, extra large with extra servings of meat, correct? I got a sizzling slice ready for your warm hands. Total comes to 1200 yen."

Foolish Hikari! She berated herself and thought of all the names for a fool that she knew. This was not love; it was a delivery boy! He was not here to deliver his heart and soul to her, no matter how much she wanted it!

She sighed. "I'm sorry," she apologized and really meant it. "I didn't order a pizza. You must be at the wrong house." They would have to part immediately. And Hikari had just met the man of her dreams. The sorrow, the sorrow!

"I think you are mistaken, ma'am," he replied. "I am definitely at the right address. 1016 Asuka Crescent, right?"

"Yes, yes it is!" exclaimed Hikari Horaki. That was her address. Her heart was dancing. What was that entering her heart? Was it hope for the future? "But, big boy, I'm all by my lonesome, defenceless self in this big house. Who ordered this pizza if not me?"

The studly pizza boy's eyes glimmered. "Does it matter, beautiful? I'm here for you right now."

Oh! So charming! "But," Hikari backed away with regret, "I really didn't order a pizza and I don't have any money to pay for it…"

"No money? No problem!" The man grinned. "I have an idea."

Hikari's face went red. How positively naughty! "An idea? Surely, you cannot mean what I imagine."

The delivery boy moved aggressively towards her until their mouths were almost touching, almost kissing. He smelled great, Hikari noticed, just like a men's locker room.

"Oh, I do mean exactly what you imagine," he breathed into her ear, sending shivers down her spine. "Let me get settled into your house and we will find a way to forget about the cost of the pizza." And to forget the pizza, too, he seemed to suggest.

Hikari's heart was beating so fast she could only say yes to anything he asked. He smiled.

Oh, he was so hot, Hikari thought. Boy, was it Hikari or was the temperature rising in the room?

"Come on in," Hikari said, her heart pounding.

And the man of her dreams was right next to her. "I certainly will come."

Suddenly, it felt like she was wearing far too much clothing for the occasion.

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Chapter Two: Rubbing it in After Things Get Very Wet

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The situation is getting out of control!

"You said you had an idea about how I could pay for this pizza, Mr…?"

"Name's Touji. Touji Suzumiya and yes, I do," he replied, smirking a sexy smile. He put the pizza down and both man and woman soon forgot about the pizza.

"Touji," she whispered his name, savouring the sound. Even his name was smoking hot.

"Yes, I have an idea," Touji (now she knew his name!) went on, "and it involves you. Miss…?"

"Hikari," she breathed, quite breathlessly. "What is this idea, Touji?" Heavens, she just said his name! She just said his name!

Instead of answering her, he picked up Hikari with his powerful arms and carried her to the couch. How wonderful his arms felt around her. In Touji's tender embrace, all of Hikari's woes about lacking a boyfriend slipped away. She was free in his hands. Free to love.

Then, the moment was lost as Touji set her down. Fortunately, he stayed by her side and the warm fuzzies could remain in her insides, too.

"Hikari," he caressed her name with his tongue, and the owner of the name blushed to her core in response. "I know just what you can do to service me and the pizza company," he whispered in her ear, tickling her heart with his voice, "and you'll need to take off my shirt to do what I ask."

Take off his shirt!

Hikari Hirako's heart stopped moving. No, wait, it didn't freeze. In fact, it did the opposite! It didn't stop, it just beat so quickly and rapidly after this new development that it would register as frozen on a heart monitor! Oh, Hikari Hirako nearly passed out at the prospect of removing this heartthrob's shirt.

"Well, will you do this for me…Hikari?"

Would she do it? Yes, in an impossibly-fast heart beat! She nodded her head vigorously.

"I will! I will!" she agreed.

He shuffled around on the couch and showed Hikari his back. The red shirt had a big wet spot around the shoulders. It was man sweat. Touji lifted his arms up and waited. Hikari nearly passed out from excitement when his manly scent found its ways into her nostrils.

Reverently, Hikari reached with her arms and placed them underneath the bottom of his shirt, on his sides. Her hands met with hard flesh and, slowly, she rubbed her hands up and down his solid flesh. It felt good and, blush, she imagined how it would feel against her bare skin, against her bosom. Dear lord, this man was a sexy beast. His man musk was overpowering her, but she kept her panties on and began lifting his shirt up. Up, up, she lifted the shirt up, using this opportunity to caress his abdominal muscles, his pecs, and his biceps. His skin was slick with sexy perspiration and his heat was contagious—Hikari could feel her body heating up even more. Up, up, her hands picked up speed and she ended up ripping his shirt off so fast that she got hit with a spray of Touji's sweat. Oh, the unleashed smell curled Hikari's thighs beneath her housecoat.

Now, Hikari Hirako was alone with a topless Touji Suzumiya. She resisted the urge to snuggle with the damp shirt in her hands and bury her nose in it. Instead, she shared a loving look with the hunk at her side. They stared and stared at each other dreamily, though, to be honest, Hikari had never even dreamed of anything this good happening.

Then, he spoke. Hikari knew what he would say, but she let him ask what he wanted to ask. "Hikari," he ravished her name while demanding her body with his eyes, "will you wash my shirt for me?"

Her heart melted for him so quickly it created a hearty, wet waterfall of emotion that rushed down her body.

"Yes," she accepted his wish. They looked deeper into each other's eyes. "Dear lord, yes!" Sparks flew from their eyes in an inferno of fiery passion. "Take me to my washing machine and I will clean your shirt better than any shirt has been washed before. I will not use bleach, since it would taint your shirt and my feelings for you. I will use burning hot water because my heart burns for you. And if your shirt shrinks," she added with a sigh, "I will not mind." She blushed.

"Oh, Hikari," he embraced her tightly. "I have never felt this way for a woman before. You are so beautiful," he cupped her cheek, and noticed she shied away from the compliment. "You are. You are beautiful." Slowly, she looked at him and he nodded. Yes, she held a powerful beauty over him. In his eyes, she was hot. "And you will look even more beautiful as you do my laundry."

That did it: Hikari Hirako was hopelessly in love with this deliveryman. They continued to gaze into each other's eyes.

Being brave, Hikari spoke up. "Then, then," she struggled. Come on, you can do it! "Then I hope for a lifetime of dirty clothes from you." She looked away. Her face was bright red.

But she needn't worry. She felt arms squeeze her tightly in reassurance. Yes, that hug promised, there would be plenty of dirty clothes in the future for her to take care of.

"Oh, Touji," she sighed.

His hazel eyes burned brighter than the stars when he looked at her. "Now let us go to the washing machine." He stood and offered her a hand.

She accepted it. His hand felt so warm. Warmer than the sun, but that is no surprise since he was the light of her life.

And so, hand in hand and in the silence of understanding, they went to the laundry room; with great ceremony, she dumped the sweet-smelling shirt into the machine and changed the machine's settings so it would clean just so; for the occasion, under his approving gaze, she opened the most expensive bottle of laundry detergent—for him; for him, she turned on the machine and turned on his heart. Thus did Hikari Hirako demonstrate her domestic capabilities to Touji Suzumiya.

To her he said afterwards: "That was amazing, Hikari. My soul has been nurtured by your fine display of ingenuity in the area of domestic engineering. But," he laughed (his laugh was manly and cute), "my body could use a little bit of your finer skills." He gave her a meaningful look. "If you know what I mean."

Hikari blushed. She knew full well what he meant, but this was just happening so fast. He was so forward, yet…Hikari had to admit, she loved how quickly he made his moves on her—his moves almost moved her to tears, they moved her so.

She gave him the answer she knew he wanted. "I'll go get you a glass of water. You must be so thirsty, being sexy all day."

Did she just make a move on him? Yes, she did! Go Hikari, go!

His face became ever so slightly pink—it was a man blush. "Yeah," he scratched the back of his head, "I would love to suck back on some water, or any of the juices you have, Hikari."

"I have apple, orange, and grape juice."

"I like orange. It's sticky," Touji whispered. Keep in mind, his shirt was being washed and Hikari was defenceless against his manly charms. She squirmed and her breasts jiggled when he looked at her. "But I'll have water," he added, "since it's the wettest drink of all—the best to quench my thirst."

Oh my. Hikari blushed. "I'll get you some exceptionally wet water. Let's go to the kitchen."

"Let us."

And they left the machine to its devices and went into the kitchen. In there, Hikari usually felt like she was where she belonged; she felt comfortable hovering over an oven. However, Touji—a man—was with her (without a shirt!) and the balance had been unbalanced. Perhaps this is why, after filling a glass of water for Touji and right when she was going to give it to him, Hikari accidentally spilled it over her young, hot, well-developed, succulent, fertile and nubile body.

"Oh," she groaned. "How embarrassing. Now I'm all wet." She turned away from Touji, scared of how he would react. The outlines of her breasts were very noticeable now, as well as her too-shapely (in her opinion) legs.

But he loved her—he must have—for he continued to pursue her.

"Hikari." Her name always suited his tongue. "It's okay. I like it when you're wet."

Yes, he must have loved her since this must have been a lie, a lie told because he didn't want to hurt her feelings.

"You don't like this! I look silly!" she yelled at him, tears flying from her eyes (which made her wetter and, thus, sadder through a vicious cycle!). "You're just saying that! If you really didn't mind, you would come with me to my room and would help me change into something new!"

Touji embraced her again. "I would love to go to your room and take off that wet housecoat."

Hikari's heart tumbled and she looked at him in shock. No, looked at him in love! And he looked at her with love in his eyes! Wait, did this mean they were going to her room together? What could possibly happen in there with two hot, half-naked bodies?

"Oh," she said.

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Chapter Three: The Climax; or, Making Love in the Bedroom

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In the kitchen, the lovely pair of Hikari Hirako, whose clothes were wet enough to reveal her lovely and delectable hourglass figure, and Touji Suzumiya, whose figure was revealed by his lack of upper body clothing, shared loving looks.

They could look at each other forever. If it were possible, they would just stand there and stare at one another until they die of thirst or starvation, since their companionship was ambrosia enough to sustain their existences. Theirs was a love that could not be broken, a love that had formed in the span of ten minutes, a love that would endure beyond eternity.

However, one of these two was in danger.

"We need to hurry," Touji told Hikari very calmly. "We need to get that robe off so you don't get a cold. I cannot tolerate the idea of you having the sniffles! If you have the sniffles, what will happen if I play with your nose? Will you feel my finger or will your nose be too numbed by the sniffles to feel my affection?" He became progressively louder and frenzied. With passion, oh, the passion. "No! I will not have you sick! I will have you well and no sniffles will stifle your smiles!"

"Oh, Touji…"

He was so sweet.

"Hikari, I…" He hesitated—the man blush was back in full force. "I, I love you!" he proudly, if embarrassedly, confessed, beating his chest with his fist. "I only met you a few minutes ago and hardly know you, but I know in my heart that I love you!"

She desperately wanted his babies now. "Oh, Touji, I can't begin to describe how much I love you. From the moment I heard the doorbell ring, from the moment I saw you with your short shorts and sweaty uniform shirt, from the moment I got a whiff of your man pizza with extra man sausage, from the very moment I even dared dream a man like you could exist, my heart has been yours," she said all this with a blush greater than any blush in the history of blushing, breaking her own personal world record for blushing that she created a minute earlier.

They embraced and their relationship went to the next level: he kissed her on the cheek and she reciprocated with her own cheek-peck on his cheek.

"Now, sweetheart," Touji smiled, "take off your housecoat. I don't want you to get sick."

"There's no need to worry that I'll get cold," Hikari mumbled shyly at first. Then her voice became confident. "When I'm with you, Touji, I always feel warm." Blush. "But I'll take this off…for you." Blush.

She took it off for him, unsure how he would react.

He reacted by huffing, puffing, wheezing, nearly fainting, and then picking her up with his powerful arms (causing her to squeak, but not a protesting squeak) and then dashing up to her stairs and into her bedroom.

"You like what's underneath the robe, I assume?" she coyly asked him, grinning after they were sitting on her bed.

He breathed heavily against her neck. "Like it? It's the sexiest thing I've ever seen!"

Now she wasn't coy—she was shy. "Oh, stop. It isn't, you know it."

"It is," he declared with manly authority, leaving no room for disagreement. "You are wearing it, Hikari."

Then she understood…and blushed. His words were cotton candy to her ears, they were so sweet.

What she was wearing, by the way, was an old t-shirt that she used as a nightgown. It was a large, oversized shirt. White when it was bought, but the colour had faded after years of use. It was a little ratty since adventurous legs had stretched the fabric. The design on the front of the shirt was of an oversized, black, cartoonish penguin. And it looked fine on Hikari.

"Hikari, I can't help it!" Touji was going crazy on her bed. "I need to touch you! I need to do certain things to you!"

She liked the sound of this, and the fact that she liked them made her blush when she realized she liked something naughty. "What sorts of, uh… things?"

"Things to your body. Things I'll do with my body."

"Oh my."

The air between them was so intense it sparkled. It was electrifying. Their feelings flooded out faster than Second Impact flooded the world.

"I need you, Hikari."

"Where?" she moaned. "Tell me!"

"Guess."

She touched her delicious neck. "Here?"

"Lower."

She touched her impressive breasts. "Here?"

"Lower."

Her cute belly button. "Here?"

"Lower."

Hikari blushed and her hands hovered around her thighs. The anticipation was building into an avalanche of excitement. "H-here?"

He shook his head. "Lower! Much lower!"

Oh god, she couldn't take it. She skipped her supple knees and shins and her hands went to her feet. "Here?"

"Yes!" he groaned. "I want to massage your feet so badly!" His hands reached out for her toes.

She shivered upon his tender touch. "Oh, oh, what else do you want to do with me? Tell me, tell me, chariot of my desire!"

His hands slowly caressed her toes, giving each one a gentle squeeze, and then his fingers explored the rest of her foot in a series of tender rubs and massages. "I want to tell you about my life as I do this to you. I want to tell you how much I want to go on long walks on the beach with you. I want to talk about my feelings with you. I want you to know that I cried when I saw Bambi die."

She gasped in ecstasy. This felt amazing, and he knew what he was doing to her. "Go on, go on! Tell me about your dreams!"

He continued to massage her feet as he related his life story:

"I work as a pizza boy on the side. It's not my real job." Rub, rub the feet. "My real job is being the best athlete in the whole world. Unfortunately, my parents both died when I was three-years old, leaving me alone to raise my five younger siblings." A tear slipped from Hikari's eye; such a sad past. "Since before I was toilet trained, I've had a part-time job. Being so busy has made it difficult for me to nurture my natural talents on the track and field." Massage, massage. "However, I consider my part-time jobs as training. That's why I don't drive pizza to houses. I run. And I deliver faster than the other boys who drive."

Hikari squealed at his touch. "And?"

"My dream is to one day win a record number of Olympic gold medals, enough gold medals that I can melt the gold and sell it for charity for blind children. I love kids so much that I'd rather give them my earnings than spend my money myself."

And after this, Hikari lost it. She convulsed. She shuddered, twisting and turning in bliss. She looked at him and sighed contently.

The foot massage was over.

"Hikari?" Touji asked.

She smiled lazily. "Yes?"

Fire from his eyes consumed her. "Tomorrow, will you help me with my practice at school? I'm going to need someone to clean my basketballs when I'm done and your cute hands look perfect for the job."

She blushed at the prospect of toying with his basketballs, then nervously said, "But I have my duties as class representative!"

He smirked. "Skip them."

"Well, if you really want…"

Hikari Hirako was about get a lot more popular than the classmates that had once picked on her.

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The End for Now!

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Beneath the final words in the manuscript, a note is scribbled in furious red ink:

The end forever! Entirely unacceptable! This story needs sex more desperately than I do! Rejected, rejected, rejected!