Author's Note: The following story was truly a labor of love. It took more than a little while to write, and finally getting it to the ready-to-read stage feels a lot like giving birth! I hope you enjoy reading my take on the stubborn saga of Niles and C.C. as much as I enjoyed creating it.
Disclaimer: Don't own Niles (...if only!), C.C., or any of the other brilliant characters from The Nanny. The song used is 'You Already Know' by Swing Out Sister. Don't own them either. Be kind to this starving student and don't sue!
A Letter To Niles
By Dani Fleming
C.C. sat alone in her apartment, downing yet another martini. She held the cassette player in the hand not occupied with the drink and pressed the play button. She had been at this for almost an hour now, no closer to what she was going to do. Marry him, Janitor Shaped Like a Drum?!? Had he completely taken leave of his senses? She shook her head. There was no way in this world or the next that she, C.C. Babcock would even dream of joining in holy matrimony with the 'help'.
As soon as that thought left her mind, a far more disturbing one entered; at her age, did she really have any prospects? Look what happened with Chandler. Though now, even she had to admit that she was a teensy-weensy bit possessive with him. She so wanted to just tap into her best utilized emotion, anger, and let the chips fall where they may. But she knew that she wasn't taking all of this time just because she wouldn't dream of marrying him. She was taking so long because she knew there was no way she could work for Maxwell again, though leaving would also mean she'd never see Niles again.
And while marrying Hazel was out of the question, the thought of never seeing him again was too much for C.C. to comprehend.
"What in the world am I going to do??" she sighed.
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Niles sat on his bed and thought about the evening's events. He couldn't believe everything that happened, nor the fact that he'd proposed to that.....that creature. He shook his head, sighing. "Now what? I made the leap, it didn't work. I guess I really do have to move on."
He sat at his desk and wrote out his resignation. It was hard, but it would be much harder to face that Babcock witch, especially since in his heart of hearts he still loved her deeply.
'Oh C.C. , you have bewitched me for the last time. I fear that I will never have the pleasure of you, nor anyone else. You have ruined me.' A soft knock at his door broke him from those thoughts.
"Come in," he said. Fran walked in with a cup of tea and handed it to her forlorn friend.
"Hi sweetie, I thought you could use this," she held out the steaming cup to him. He took it and smiled at her. "I'm going to miss you, Mrs. Shef...Fran."
"Look Niles, we can't give up, there has to be something we can do!"
"While I've never ceased to marvel at your unending optimism, I think I've come to the end of the road as far as Ms. Babcock is concerned. There's no doubt that I love the woman, but I've tried. I'll never get through to her. It's over, and now I have to try and get over her somehow," he looked up, tears darkening his brilliant blues.
"Oh, honey, you've really got it bad!" She replied in openmouthed shock. "Why?"
Niles looked up with an shrug.
"Sorry. I know we don't chose who we love," she plopped herself on his bed, narrowing missing the stack of freshly pressed shirts ready to be packed. "why, who would've thought that when I came to work for Mr. Sheffield, I would become his wife? Certainly not Ma. Meanwhile, do you know she sent me this whole stack of booklets and a nun's habit for Our Sisters of Mercy? And we're Jewish!"
Niles couldn't help but smile at that one. He was really going to miss his good friend. She had done so much for him, for the entire family. The kids had blossomed into smart, bright and happy young adults, Max learned to love again, and the whole house was a place of laughter and hope. Too bad it all went to hell concerning C.C. and the beleaguered butler.
"I know it seems woefully impossible to fall for a woman like Ms. Babcock, but you don't see her as I do. When we taunt each other, I feel alive. She's so beautiful, smart, sexy and so damn stubborn. There are so many layers to her and how I wish I could unpeel them one by one....."
"Ny-ules! Enough already! I'm gettin' a picture here!"
"Sorry. Mrs. Sheffield, I really must get back to packing if I'm going to make my flight." Niles looked so heartbroken standing there with his clothes to pack. Fran wanted to do something, anything to help. Then a plan started to form, and being the conspicuous gal she was, Niles was able to tell exactly what she was thinking.
"Oh, no you don't," he broke in on her thoughts.
"Wha?"
"Now don't try and look innocent, I will not again fall victim to the yenta from the black lagoon. The last time you got involved" a dark look passed his face "well, YOU know."
"Ok, ok. I won't interfere in your love life. I won't even call C.C. and make her come back here. I mean, one call from me and oy, that woman would be all over you!" She smiled hopefully, quickly frowning when she saw the look on his face.
"Alright, I give up, honey. But please, couldn't you at least wait until tomorrow morning? The kids would like to be able to say good-bye too, and I promise we'll all get up extra early so you don't have to run into Ms. Babcock."
"Yes, heaven knows the very last thing, and I do mean THING, that I need to see is her." He rolled his eyes.
"Well, even when she does come by tomorrow, it won't be for very long." Fran waited for the inevitable-
"Why?" Niles started.
"Oh, you want to know? Well, after you gave her the riot act, she was pretty shook up. She told Max that she was going to drop off her letter of resignation in the morning." She replied, a bit surprised and disappointed when her friend didn't respond the way she expected.
"Oh. I see." He continued packing his belongings, and Fran turned to go. As she stepped out of the room, he called out to her. "Mrs. Sheffield?" She reentered, giving him a dark look at his formality. "Sorry.... Fran. I just wanted to let you know that I will wait to leave until morning. I really would have been sad not seeing the children before I left." Fran's heart broke seeing the crestfallen look on his face. 'How could that evil shiksa do this to him??' she puzzled. She ran in and hugged him tight. "Goodnight, sweetie. I love you."
"I love you too, Fran." He squeezed back.
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C.C. paced. C.C. had been pacing to and fro in her elegant but spare living room for the past half hour. The things he said to her!
"How dare he?" she yelled, getting more and more angry. She finally stopped wearing a hole in her authentic Ming Dynasty rug when the 'are you mad?' look Chester gave her made her pause and sit on the sofa. She sat there and though all the things Niles said had royally pissed her off, she couldn't deny the truth of them. Her blue eyes scanned the kitchen and she realized that the main food group to be had in there was the alcoholic kind. She had a fully stocked bar that was the envy of her peers (yet another weapon in her arsenal of persuasion), as well as the emergency stash under the sink in her bathroom.
"Oh my god," she whispered, sitting back against the cushions. "Lemon Fresh is right!" She shook her head and decided that if she was serious about changing her life, the time was now. She stood up and went in search of the largest garbage bag she could find.
Thirty minutes later, C.C. smiled in satisfaction at her work. All of the liquor had been emptied and the bottles were now tied up in black plastic garbage bags. She knew that if she had given herself time to think about what she was doing, it never would have happened. Even she had to admit that Butler Boy had made a positive effect on her, and she wasn't going to stop at just the booze.
She sat at her laptop and started to write out her letter of resignation. It was a little difficult at first, but as she felt more confident about her decision, the words started to come easily. That task completed, she stared at the blinking cursor. There was something else she needed to do, and it needed to be done now. Before she lost her nerve.
She printed out both letters and decided that instead of waiting for tomorrow, she would take them back to the Sheffield's before morning. She wanted to make sure that the recipient of her second letter received it tonight.
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Niles had finished packing (there really wasn't that much to pack), and looked at his now empty room. The memories in this home, his only home in the States. He and Max had been two lads. Well, Niles was a few years ahead of him but at that time it was hard to tell. Just two young men in the new world, making their way. And they had, and fast. He remembered the first hit Max produced, the look of absolute pride on his friend's face. The promise of many successes to come, and while there were many, none could top the sheer joy when Max and Sara married, nor when they started their family.
It had been a tough and heartbreaking time for everyone when Sara died. The children were besieged with nightmares, especially little Gracie. Maggie retreated into herself and confidence became a foreign word. While Brighton went in the opposite direction, doing anything and everything to draw the attention of his father, tormenting his sisters, and generally being a little hellion. Max wanted to reach out to his children, wanted to reassure and let them know everything would be alright. But the pain was too much. What if one of them suddenly died? No amount of love or reassurance could keep the unmentionable from happening, so instead of doing something, he did nothing. The poor man was lost in a unfathomable state of despair and loneliness. Niles feared that his dear friend would never recover and be able to live, let alone love again.
Then, along came Ms. Fine.
She was literally the breath of fresh air that brought new life to the home, to the kids, and most importantly, to Max. Though his friend could be a little obtuse at times and was more than just a little afraid to show how he really felt about the vivacious nanny, Niles enjoyed having a part in bringing the two of them together. Even if it did take 5 arduous years.
He really was going to miss them all.
Niles settled into bed, trying to get at least a couple hours of sleep. After tossing and turning for a half hour, he gave up the attempt and headed to the kitchen. While the thought of raiding Mr. Sheffield's brandy was tempting, the lovesick butler decided to play it safe with a hot cup of Earl Grey instead. He had the feeling he was going to need his wits about him this night.
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The former brunette walked to the mansion's front door, trying to fight off a major anxiety attack.
'Damn, should've taken a Prozac', she admonished. 'how am I going to give him this if I can't even get through the front door?' She raised her hand to ring the bell, hesitated, went forward, stopped to reconsider-
"Oh, good grief, just ring the bloody doorbell!" Came a voice from inside.
"Niles?"
"What do you want, sea hag?"
"Could you let me in, PLEASE?"
"What's the matter? Too chilly even for the ice queen?"
"NIIILES!"
The door opened and C.C. stalked in, cool resolve quickly dissolved.
"I don't know what is wrong with you, Lemon Fresh, but it must have something to do with all those chemicals you've been breathing in for the past twenty years!" She headed straight for Max's office. She needed a drink, and she needed it now.
"Hold on, Beast of Broadway, what exactly are you doing here?"
She swung around to face him, eyes blazing. "What do you care? Oh-ho, not planning on asking me something AGAIN, are you? You should be grateful I didn't bring my tape recorder with me, though try giving me a ring sometime. You'll just LOVE my new message!" She made a cruel laugh and turned towards Max's office again.
"Why do I even bother," Niles shook his head, heading back to the kitchen.
Ten minutes later, Niles looked up as the bane of his existence entered. She seemed to have calmed down considerably and was deep in thought. This afforded him the chance to study her. No matter how many times through the years he had opened the door for her, he never failed to be stunned by her beauty. Her hair glowed, even though he could tell that she barely rested that day, if at all.
He watched the way her lips parted slightly in concentration, wishing above all else to go to her and tell her all the things he'd kept silent about for so many years.
Wishing to kiss her.
She noticed eyes on her and looked up, scowling. "What?"
"Is there ever a nice, wholesome bone in that body of yours?" Niles couldn't believe mere moments ago he had been entertaining thoughts of taking Girl Interrupted in his arms and declaring his undying love.
"Are you going to tell me why you came here tonight?"
"I came to drop off my resignation letter, but I'm sure you heard about that already from Nanny Fine."
"Why?"
"Why what, Niles," she sighed.
"Oh for heaven's sake, stop being so bloody obtuse! Why are you leaving?" He got up from the table and walked toward her. "It's not like you have to quit now. After all, I won't be here to torture you." He waited for her to say something inflammatory, or at least a little rude.
She just stood there looking at him, and if he didn't know better he could have sworn he saw the traces of regret shadowed in her face. "Good bye, Niles." She started for the front door.
"C.C., wait." Just hearing his voice caused her to shudder.
He was so close to her that had she been capable of coherent thought, she would've noticed that her breathing stopped. Niles was even more angry with her than earlier when he'd exposed her to the truth. Seeing him this way excited her and even she had to admit that there was something very much the matter with C.C. Babcock.
There was a part of her that just wanted Niles to have his way with her, right there on the stairs. 'What would the Sheffields think,' she mused, a bit too much because a further infuriated Niles stared at her in disbelief.
'What is wrong with her?' He honestly didn't know whether to slap her back to her senses or just sink to the floor in frustration.
"I only want to know one thing," his eyes never once looking away from hers, almost as if he knew this was good bye and he wanted to remember every moment, every expression, no matter how painful.
"Was there ever a single moment of truth between us? Did you ever have any feeling for me at all?" He looked as though he was about to cry, with only his British reserve to reign it in. C.C. noticed that his grip had become painful, as though he was frightened to let her go. She felt lightheaded and realized that she hadn't taken a single breath since Niles had called her name.
"I'm sorry, I truly am. It's all in the letter I left at your door. I really have to go now." She started to turn away, a sob escaping before she could stop herself.
Niles was angry at her, angry at her for pretending she had feelings for him, and at himself for believing she did. As much as he could never bear to see any harm come to the pittiless witch, he wasn't above giving her hell himself.
"Look, Babcock, you may be done with me, but I am far from done with you. You can lie to yourself, for the rest of your life if you wish, but for this one moment I want to know what is going on in that tiny mind of yours!"
The awful truth of it all was even when C.C. was being her absolute worst, she couldn't help being utterly beautiful. He noticed that her blonde tresses were reflecting the dimmed light of the foyer and it appeared almost reddish-gold. Her eyes were the most entrancing shade of deep blue - good god, man, stop thinking of her like this! She doesn't want you, get over it!
He realized that her cheeks seemed to be awfully flushed, and he knew it wasn't from the liquor she'd consumed, nor from the fight he seemed to be having only with himself.
What exactly had she been thinking? He decided to take a different approach. Niles noticed that she shivered as he came closer, and fought the urge to smile.
C.C. felt him move beside her, his lips pressed close to her ear. "What were you thinking, Babcock?"
She felt a flush at the implication of his words. He sounded as if he was attempting to seduce her without even laying a finger on her. If he does that to me again, I'm going to be melt into a puddle on the floor. She found herself leaning into his chest, unleashing a sigh that wouldn't be contained.
"I think we need to talk somewhere," he paused, holding her close, "private." This time she moaned and didn't care whether he heard it or not.
She had a hard time keeping up with the man she finally realized she wanted to spend more than just the night with. She shook her head at her incredible stupidity - how had she wasted so much time?
They got to his room and stepped inside.
C.C. spoke first. "Niles, I-"
"Hush." He shut the door to his room and took her hand in his. "Let me speak first." He motioned for her to sit down on his bed and he started to pace.
"Where do I begin? You took me by surprise coming back here tonight, I expected never to see you again. I want you to know that I am so sorry for all the things I said and did to you in the past. You brought out a side in me I never even knew existed. My training as a butler dictated that I know ahead of time whatever those around me needed, but to stay out of the way when doing my job." He stopped and sat beside her. "That first day when I announced your arrival was a revelation for me. I was so....taken with you, and so damn frustrated. How could someone as beautiful, talented, witty and smart as you even give someone like me a second glance? I wanted to impress you, but how could I? I was merely the help, as you so often put it."
C.C. gave a sick little smile at that remark.
He just sat there, staring at her, unable to believe that she was there with him. He had so much to tell her, and he was almost afraid that if he didn't get it all out, he'd never get the chance. He took a breath and began again.
"The more I thought about things, the more I understood how things were to be. I had been Mr. Sheffield's butler for about 6 years and still had the leftover desires of a young man who wanted to be a barrister, commanding and respected in the court. It hadn't yet dawned on me that my path was to be here with Max and his wonderful family. I was truly needed and after a time knew that and how lonely I would've been without them in my life."
"My god, Niles, I never knew this. I don't know what to say..." She looked up at him, tears starting to form.
"You never asked, you were - we both were - too busy trying to one up each other in the biting remarks department. I made another realization, though. Being here with the Sheffields meant seeing you everyday, and even though I couldn't compare to with the rich and successful men you were used to dating I could be in your presence, and that was enough." He got up from the bed and started pacing again. "Of course, seeing you everyday also meant that I would have to say more than 'How can I help you?' So, I decided to try a different tack, especially since I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being with you.."
"Hence the stream of insults?" She smirked.
"Of course, Edwina," he grinned.
"Ha-ha, not letting go of the whole poultry thing, are you? Though I've always loved 'Chicken Run'," she laughed.
He turned to her. "I love your laugh. You don't know how many times I've taken one of your zingers just to hear it." He sat down and took her hand in his.
"Did you ever tell Maxwell?"
"What? That I love your laugh?"
"No, silly. That you wanted to be a lawyer."
"Yes, we talked about our goals many times in University. He even tried talking me into leaving his employ so I could pursue mine."
"Why didn't you?" She asked.
"His family had done so much for me, I was able to go to Oxford thanks to them. I guess at first I felt an obligation to them. Of course later, it was purely a sense of duty and affection that made me realize what my calling was."
"Ah, affection for Max and his family," she nodded.
"Yes, them. And you."
She beamed. She leaned forward to kiss him, and stopped at his puzzled expression. "What's wrong, Niles? Isn't this what you wanted? It's certainly what I need," she gave a throaty laugh.
"There's more to this than just.....this. I want you to know that from the beginning of the day to the end of the evening, I love you. I love you more than my own life, and I think I have since the very first time I met you, before you were blonde, " he gave a laugh of his own.
He stopped when he noticed the pained expression on C.C.'s face.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you mean that? I mean, how could you possibly mean that?" She had tears in her eyes now, and pulled away from the baffled butler.
"Please, don't run from me again, I don't know how many ways to make you see how much I care for you. This is crazy, but we have to end it, tonight. I have to know how you feel."
She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. Niles was fearful that this frustrating dream was just going to vanish like gossamer. Her features took on the familiar sarcastic expression he knew so well, and he felt his heart start to break.
"Tell me something, Niles. Why didn't you say something to me sooner? What possessed you to play with my feelings all these years?" Her voice started to grow louder in anger, and he couldn't help but think his Beast was going mad before his eyes.
"What in the world are you talking about, Sybil? I never had a chance to say anything to you, you never gave an inch! What was I to do? Declare my undying love in the middle of one of our sparring matches? You must think me as insane as you are!" He spat the words out, his voice matching hers in volume.
"Let me get this straight, all these years you harbored feelings for me, even while you drove me to..to that Place?" She was barely able to keep her feelings in check.
"Don't pretend that you were blameless in all of this, Babcock! It wasn't as though you didn't give me plenty of ammunition with all of the little witticisms you lobed my way! I thought you could barely stand me, let alone have deeper feelings. Yes, I may have played games, but you were every bit as responsible as I. I certainly couldn't offer my hand to you in those conditions."
"Oh, right! Like I would ever accept anything you had to offer! Let me see, trade in my rich, comfortable existence, my beautiful Park Avenue apartment, all of the luxuries and people I hold dear, to move into your room!?" She looked around the small, modest space, waving her arm.
"Just look, over here I can put my baby grand! Oh, oh, how about that massive closet? That will hold, what, a THIRD of my clothes? If I fold them all?" She laughed derisively.
"Face it, Mr. Clean, I sooo out of your league it's not even funny. I just thought you wanted a one night stand. At least that we could keep secret. Don't you realize I'm a wealthy socialite, a Babcock. And Babcock's do not mix with the help. Which is all you'll ever be." She stood there, her eyes full of fire.
"I can just hear it now; 'Poor C.C. Babcock. Couldn't get the man of her dreams so she had to settle for the Merry Maid instead.'" She said the cruel words so fast and in such anger that the look on the handsome butler's face didn't quite register until he was right on her again, his face a storm cloud of dark and unsettling feelings.
He looked as though he'd aged 10 years. Niles thought of all the things he wanted to say, all of the hurtful and angry words he wanted to hurl back at her. Finally, though, he just looked at her square in the eye, a devastated look on his face.
"Go, now." It was all he trusted himself to say to her.
She thought of all the things she should have said to him. She wanted to say so much, but her stubborn pride knew no bounds and she stormed out of his room, and out of his life.
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Niles sat at his bed, head in hands. He couldn't believe what had just transpired. One minute, the woman of his dreams, right here with him. The next, gone, with a trail of vitriol behind her. He would never figure that woman out. Going home to England would at least put her out of his mind for a little while. He wrote a quick note to the Sheffield's; he was sorry to break his promise to them, but if there was ever a time he needed to get away, it was now.
He locked the front door and started down toward the cab. He settled in, taking one last look at the only home he'd known for the past 20 years. So many memories, he murmured.
"La Guardia, please," he told the cab driver.
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C.C. packed enough for two weeks; the rest of her belongings she planned to call for after her arrival in Paris. Chester looked up at his mistress with as worried an expression as a dog could muster.
"Don't worry, baby, I would never leave you behind," she bent down, picking up the little ball of fluff. She settled him into his travel carrier and took one long last look at her lonely apartment. She'd been so focused on getting out of the country as quickly as possible that she didn't even change her clothes.
"Well, it's been...real."
"...crap," she added, locking the door.
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This is really ridiculous. C.C. was royally peeved. Her cab had been on the expressway for the past two hours, and they were no closer to La Guardia Airport. She leaned forward and held a 100 dollar bill in front of the cabbie's face.
"See this? I've got five more just like it if you can get me to the airport in the next half hour," she offered, trying to sound as sweet and charming as possible.
"Lady, if I had a transporter stored in this heap, you'd be the first I'd stick on it. We-are-stuck-in-traf-fic. There ain't nothin' I can do 'bout it." She sat back, resigned.
Twenty minutes later, they were a bit closer to her destination.
"Hey, it's too quiet in here. Do you suppose you could turn the radio on?"
"Yeah, sure. Anything to drown out your yap."
The man was lucky he was driving, otherwise he probably would've been the recipient of an empty liquor flask. To the back of his head.
"....and that was Sailing by Christopher Cross. Now it's time for our request hour. And the first one comes from a Fran from Manhattan. She's dedicating this to a...oh, hold on, it's for two people. Now this is interesting. It seems that these two have been in love for many years, but both too stubborn to admit it to the other." She sat forward in her seat, a puzzled look on her face.
"Can you turn this up?" The driver turned it up as far as it could go.
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Niles figured there might be a bit of congestion but wasn't too worried. He had made allowances for the traffic and still had plenty of time before his flight was to depart. The radio was playing some songs he fondly remembered from his early days with Maxwell. The song ended and it was time for request hour. Niles, being the romantic he was, usually loved listening to the dedications people left for their loved ones. However, after having his heart trounced on by the Segrams hag, he wasn't exactly in the mood. He was about to ask the driver to turn it off when a familiar name made him pause. "No, couldn't be," he whispered.
".....and Fran just wants to get her two friends together. Now that is one good friend, don't you think? Well, I hope you two lovebirds are listening, and best of luck to the two of you." There was a two second delay, and then the song began:
What can fill your heart till it breaks
Make you dream when you're wide awake
What could fill your whole lifetime through
Though it doesn't belong to you
Whoever you are
Wherever you go
Will I meet you there
And how will I know
When you can't hear for listening
When you can't see a single thing
When you don't care what's happening
You already know
He sat back in his seat, and listened, imagining her lovely face all the while........
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What's a feeling that can't be touched
What's a pleasure that hurts so much
Like a promise that you can't break
What can steal every breath you take
Whoever we are
Whenever we touch
Will love disappear
If we take too much
When you can't hear for listening
When you can't see a single thing
When you don't care what's happening
You already know
C.C. leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the front passenger seat. The song was beautiful, and made her play through her entire history with Butler Boy. She was leaving for Paris with the sole intention of forgetting about him, but that was proving nearly impossible.
When the night doesn't let you sleep
When you can't find the words to speak
When this secret's too much to keep
You already know
And when love surrounds you
There'll be no reason to even explain
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The radios shut off simultaneously as the two cabs pulled into La Guardia. Bags were collected, money exchanged, and the lonely walk toward new (if not exactly welcome) futures began. Niles checked his watch and headed towards the check-in point. Suck a long day and he was at least looking forward to a little uninterrupted sleep. Perhaps a little brandy would help speed him along to slumber.
C.C. hurried along the terminal, fuming. This was the last flight leaving for Paris, and if she missed it, she was most certainly going to rethink her retirement from the bottle. A loud bell sounded and the PA crackled to life. It was busy, but not nearly as much as usual.
"The following flights have been delayed: TWA flight 709 to Jakarta, American flight 476 to Dublin, British Airways flight 101 to London, and Virgin Atlantic flight 339 to Paris. We will keep you posted on any developments and apologize for the inconvenience."
"You must be kidding!" Two lonely souls gripped at the same time. Both sat down in exasperation and watched the wall.
Niles took off his overcoat and sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chair. He glanced over and noticed that a slip of white peeked from his coat pocket; it was a letter addressed to him.
In her handwriting.
"What in the world," the very confused butler whispered.
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C.C. checked her watch. It had been over two hours with no changes yet. This is crazy, she muttered, I need a drink. Instead she opted for a large cup of coffee. She made her way to the only open coffee shop in the nearly deserted airport.
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Niles read through the letter again; it was hard to tell whether C.C. was serious or just toying with his already ravaged emotions yet again. But it was hard to read and not believe everything written.
Dear Niles,
Hello,hello!
I'm not as chipper as that just sounded, but wouldn't it be rather odd if I didn't greet you in the usual manner? Boy, we certainly had a time of it tonight, didn't we? I'm thankful for the art of letter-writing; because let's face it, I probably couldn't get a word in edgewise in person! Not that I'd let you, either.
I have to thank you first of all. You opened my eyes tonight, and made me aware of things I may have never come to on my own. Face it, you've always had that effect on me. I have always been a bit...stubborn? Yes, I see you're nodding vigorously, haha! What you made me realize, not even 20 years of therapy could accomplish. You should be proud!
Would you believe that I went home and dumped all of the booze I had stashed away? Just trying not to prove you right, I suppose. We've been through so much together, I wonder what it would've been like not to be at each others throats.
We will probably never see each other again, but I think it's for the best, after all.
I wish you all of the best in your life, because believe it or not, I really want you to be happy.
I would like to say that were we to meet again, we might have been friends.
Sincerely,
C.C.
P.S. I almost said yes.
All Niles focused on were the last four words.
I almost said yes.
"She almost said yes?" So many emotions were running through his mind he could barely breathe. He started to pace and realized that coffee was needed to help clear his mind.
There were two people ahead of him, a short man in a business suit who looked as though he was about to fall asleep while standing, and one really cranky blonde who looked as though she was about to spontaneously combust on the spot. She seemed awfully familiar.
And then she spoke.
"Look, I don't care if you have to personally dig into all of those boxes in the back, I want a packet of Vanilla Nut creamer, and I want it now!"
Niles turned five shades of green. "O my god, not her, not now."
He got out of line and headed back toward his seat. There was so much to think about, to consider. He didn't want to make a hasty decision, and certainly not with the bane of his existance/love of his life mere feet away. 'And to think I could've been half way to London by now', he sat down to get his bearings. He looked behind him and was surprised to discover that C.C. had sitting behind him all along. He got up and made his next move.
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C.C. walked back to her sit, finally holding her coffee. If not for that insipid clerk, she could've had it a whole lot sooner. As she got closer to her seat, her eyes fell on someone sitting far too close to her bags.
"What th- HEY! Get away from my stuff!" She ran over, ready for a fight .
"Look, perhaps you can't read English, but the name on those tags say-"
"C.C." A resigned Brit answered.
"That's right, C......what?" She leaned down to get a better look at the snoop. "It's you. Oh my god, it's really you! What is this, some crazy cosmic joke?"
"Apparently. Or perhaps a wakeup call," Niles replied, looking up at her.
She stood there, biting her lip.
"Ah, so the Beast of Broadway's tongue is silenced for once?"
"How did you find me here? Wait, did you follow me?
"Oh for heaven's sake! The world doesn't revolve around you! I was waiting for my plane, I'll have you know."
C.C. thought for a moment, then sat down by what was starting to dawn on her as destiny.
"So, here we are yet again, drawn inexplicably by....fate, or maybe something stronger?" She asked.
"I don't know. I do know that I'm tired, and I don't think we're going to be leaving the country anytime soon. I also know that I should not have said what I did 2 ½ hours ago." He looked older than she had ever seen him. It broke her heart.
C.C. licked her lips, preparing to tell him how she felt. How she really felt.
"I'm so sorry," she started, burying her face in her hands. In that one moment, she wasn't C.C. Babcock, Beast of Broadway. She was Chastity Claire, whole of heart and open to love. "I said things that were deplorable. I don't even know why. I wanted to say far different things to you. I wanted you to know how I felt, without my upbringing getting in the way. I get angry and all of my rudeness kicks in. I saw how hurt you were and instead of taking it all back, I just made it all worse."
"You know what you did to me, Babcock?" Niles asked, removing her hands from her face and taking them in his.
"A very long time ago, a seemingly shy and unassuming young woman rang Maxwell Sheffield's front door. A not so shy and unassuming young man answered the door and his life changed forever. You took an arrow and shot it right into my heart and all I could do was stand there and stare in wonder at you. You had no idea what you were capable of. At least not yet. Do you not remember?"
She watched him as he spoke, and thought about the first time they had met.
She was young, just out of college, the world literally at her feet. Though she hadn't been too sure of that fact at the time.
Her best friend Sara had recommended her to Max and she wanted to make the best impression possible. She had spent most of her time straightening her clothes and making sure her chestnut hair wasn't too much of a mess. She wasn't the blonde headturner yet, but she definitely had something.
She summoned her courage and knocked on the front door.
She vaguely recalled Sara stating that they had a butler, but try as she might C.C. couldn't remember his name. She would've had a tough time doing much of anything with those eyes looking right into hers. He was about 33 or so, very tanned, very handsome. His suit fit him to a T, and what was that scent he was wearing?! She took a few seconds to admire the way the afternoon sun highlighted his dark blond hair, and against her better judgment, lifted her hand to touch it.
All of this processed before he opened his mouth to say-
"How may I help you?"
She dropped her hand, instead reaching out to shake his. 'What in the world was I thinking?' Was her first thought. 'Take me' was her second. The butler had a firm hand, and combined with that voice of his, she was ready to tell him exactly how he could help her.
"Oh my, yes...I remember. Would you believe that our lives could've been waaay different had I just been honest back then?" She laughed, looking into his eyes. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, for everything. I told you that I was a product of defective upbringing!"
"Well, I'm glad to say that my family didn't saddle me with too many embarrassing bugaboos. I had you to drive me nuts instead! Though I can't possibly imagine a richer existence without you. And I never want to. Which brings me to my next subject...."
"Oh no, not again," she mocked, shielding her face from him. "Give me time, Niles. You might be surprised at the response of a woman with breathing room."
Niles wanted so much to take her hand in his and just ask her. For a man with the patience of the ages, this was the one time that was really going to prove difficult.
Both looked up as the noise of the PA crackled to life. "Attention please. British Airways flight 101 to London, and Virgin Atlantic flight 339 to Paris are now clear for boarding. We apologize for any inconvenience and hope you have a safe flight."
"Well, it would figure that the dolts finally see fit to let us go," she sighed.
Niles grinned. "Don't you see what happened? We got delayed for a reason, Babcock. What ever is supposed to happen, we've got to let play out. We have a duty to this!"
Oh god, Lysol's gone and lost his mind, she mused.
But I guess I have too, she thought as she gave Niles her reply wrapped in a passionate kiss.
"You know what? I think this would play out a lot better at home," he whispered.
"Yes, I don't want to be caught in public.."
"...making out with the help?"
"Being taken on a hard plastic chair! At least let's wait until we get to the limo!" She hit him playfully.
"I promise you that when I take you, there'll be no plastic in sight, and it won't be on a chair...at least not the first time. But I assure you, it will most definitely be hard!" He grinned wolfishly.
"Let's blow this joint, shall we?" She asked.
Niles wrapped his arm around her and they headed out of the airport together, a new life ahead of them.
The End
Disclaimer: Don't own Niles (...if only!), C.C., or any of the other brilliant characters from The Nanny. The song used is 'You Already Know' by Swing Out Sister. Don't own them either. Be kind to this starving student and don't sue!
A Letter To Niles
By Dani Fleming
C.C. sat alone in her apartment, downing yet another martini. She held the cassette player in the hand not occupied with the drink and pressed the play button. She had been at this for almost an hour now, no closer to what she was going to do. Marry him, Janitor Shaped Like a Drum?!? Had he completely taken leave of his senses? She shook her head. There was no way in this world or the next that she, C.C. Babcock would even dream of joining in holy matrimony with the 'help'.
As soon as that thought left her mind, a far more disturbing one entered; at her age, did she really have any prospects? Look what happened with Chandler. Though now, even she had to admit that she was a teensy-weensy bit possessive with him. She so wanted to just tap into her best utilized emotion, anger, and let the chips fall where they may. But she knew that she wasn't taking all of this time just because she wouldn't dream of marrying him. She was taking so long because she knew there was no way she could work for Maxwell again, though leaving would also mean she'd never see Niles again.
And while marrying Hazel was out of the question, the thought of never seeing him again was too much for C.C. to comprehend.
"What in the world am I going to do??" she sighed.
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Niles sat on his bed and thought about the evening's events. He couldn't believe everything that happened, nor the fact that he'd proposed to that.....that creature. He shook his head, sighing. "Now what? I made the leap, it didn't work. I guess I really do have to move on."
He sat at his desk and wrote out his resignation. It was hard, but it would be much harder to face that Babcock witch, especially since in his heart of hearts he still loved her deeply.
'Oh C.C. , you have bewitched me for the last time. I fear that I will never have the pleasure of you, nor anyone else. You have ruined me.' A soft knock at his door broke him from those thoughts.
"Come in," he said. Fran walked in with a cup of tea and handed it to her forlorn friend.
"Hi sweetie, I thought you could use this," she held out the steaming cup to him. He took it and smiled at her. "I'm going to miss you, Mrs. Shef...Fran."
"Look Niles, we can't give up, there has to be something we can do!"
"While I've never ceased to marvel at your unending optimism, I think I've come to the end of the road as far as Ms. Babcock is concerned. There's no doubt that I love the woman, but I've tried. I'll never get through to her. It's over, and now I have to try and get over her somehow," he looked up, tears darkening his brilliant blues.
"Oh, honey, you've really got it bad!" She replied in openmouthed shock. "Why?"
Niles looked up with an shrug.
"Sorry. I know we don't chose who we love," she plopped herself on his bed, narrowing missing the stack of freshly pressed shirts ready to be packed. "why, who would've thought that when I came to work for Mr. Sheffield, I would become his wife? Certainly not Ma. Meanwhile, do you know she sent me this whole stack of booklets and a nun's habit for Our Sisters of Mercy? And we're Jewish!"
Niles couldn't help but smile at that one. He was really going to miss his good friend. She had done so much for him, for the entire family. The kids had blossomed into smart, bright and happy young adults, Max learned to love again, and the whole house was a place of laughter and hope. Too bad it all went to hell concerning C.C. and the beleaguered butler.
"I know it seems woefully impossible to fall for a woman like Ms. Babcock, but you don't see her as I do. When we taunt each other, I feel alive. She's so beautiful, smart, sexy and so damn stubborn. There are so many layers to her and how I wish I could unpeel them one by one....."
"Ny-ules! Enough already! I'm gettin' a picture here!"
"Sorry. Mrs. Sheffield, I really must get back to packing if I'm going to make my flight." Niles looked so heartbroken standing there with his clothes to pack. Fran wanted to do something, anything to help. Then a plan started to form, and being the conspicuous gal she was, Niles was able to tell exactly what she was thinking.
"Oh, no you don't," he broke in on her thoughts.
"Wha?"
"Now don't try and look innocent, I will not again fall victim to the yenta from the black lagoon. The last time you got involved" a dark look passed his face "well, YOU know."
"Ok, ok. I won't interfere in your love life. I won't even call C.C. and make her come back here. I mean, one call from me and oy, that woman would be all over you!" She smiled hopefully, quickly frowning when she saw the look on his face.
"Alright, I give up, honey. But please, couldn't you at least wait until tomorrow morning? The kids would like to be able to say good-bye too, and I promise we'll all get up extra early so you don't have to run into Ms. Babcock."
"Yes, heaven knows the very last thing, and I do mean THING, that I need to see is her." He rolled his eyes.
"Well, even when she does come by tomorrow, it won't be for very long." Fran waited for the inevitable-
"Why?" Niles started.
"Oh, you want to know? Well, after you gave her the riot act, she was pretty shook up. She told Max that she was going to drop off her letter of resignation in the morning." She replied, a bit surprised and disappointed when her friend didn't respond the way she expected.
"Oh. I see." He continued packing his belongings, and Fran turned to go. As she stepped out of the room, he called out to her. "Mrs. Sheffield?" She reentered, giving him a dark look at his formality. "Sorry.... Fran. I just wanted to let you know that I will wait to leave until morning. I really would have been sad not seeing the children before I left." Fran's heart broke seeing the crestfallen look on his face. 'How could that evil shiksa do this to him??' she puzzled. She ran in and hugged him tight. "Goodnight, sweetie. I love you."
"I love you too, Fran." He squeezed back.
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C.C. paced. C.C. had been pacing to and fro in her elegant but spare living room for the past half hour. The things he said to her!
"How dare he?" she yelled, getting more and more angry. She finally stopped wearing a hole in her authentic Ming Dynasty rug when the 'are you mad?' look Chester gave her made her pause and sit on the sofa. She sat there and though all the things Niles said had royally pissed her off, she couldn't deny the truth of them. Her blue eyes scanned the kitchen and she realized that the main food group to be had in there was the alcoholic kind. She had a fully stocked bar that was the envy of her peers (yet another weapon in her arsenal of persuasion), as well as the emergency stash under the sink in her bathroom.
"Oh my god," she whispered, sitting back against the cushions. "Lemon Fresh is right!" She shook her head and decided that if she was serious about changing her life, the time was now. She stood up and went in search of the largest garbage bag she could find.
Thirty minutes later, C.C. smiled in satisfaction at her work. All of the liquor had been emptied and the bottles were now tied up in black plastic garbage bags. She knew that if she had given herself time to think about what she was doing, it never would have happened. Even she had to admit that Butler Boy had made a positive effect on her, and she wasn't going to stop at just the booze.
She sat at her laptop and started to write out her letter of resignation. It was a little difficult at first, but as she felt more confident about her decision, the words started to come easily. That task completed, she stared at the blinking cursor. There was something else she needed to do, and it needed to be done now. Before she lost her nerve.
She printed out both letters and decided that instead of waiting for tomorrow, she would take them back to the Sheffield's before morning. She wanted to make sure that the recipient of her second letter received it tonight.
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Niles had finished packing (there really wasn't that much to pack), and looked at his now empty room. The memories in this home, his only home in the States. He and Max had been two lads. Well, Niles was a few years ahead of him but at that time it was hard to tell. Just two young men in the new world, making their way. And they had, and fast. He remembered the first hit Max produced, the look of absolute pride on his friend's face. The promise of many successes to come, and while there were many, none could top the sheer joy when Max and Sara married, nor when they started their family.
It had been a tough and heartbreaking time for everyone when Sara died. The children were besieged with nightmares, especially little Gracie. Maggie retreated into herself and confidence became a foreign word. While Brighton went in the opposite direction, doing anything and everything to draw the attention of his father, tormenting his sisters, and generally being a little hellion. Max wanted to reach out to his children, wanted to reassure and let them know everything would be alright. But the pain was too much. What if one of them suddenly died? No amount of love or reassurance could keep the unmentionable from happening, so instead of doing something, he did nothing. The poor man was lost in a unfathomable state of despair and loneliness. Niles feared that his dear friend would never recover and be able to live, let alone love again.
Then, along came Ms. Fine.
She was literally the breath of fresh air that brought new life to the home, to the kids, and most importantly, to Max. Though his friend could be a little obtuse at times and was more than just a little afraid to show how he really felt about the vivacious nanny, Niles enjoyed having a part in bringing the two of them together. Even if it did take 5 arduous years.
He really was going to miss them all.
Niles settled into bed, trying to get at least a couple hours of sleep. After tossing and turning for a half hour, he gave up the attempt and headed to the kitchen. While the thought of raiding Mr. Sheffield's brandy was tempting, the lovesick butler decided to play it safe with a hot cup of Earl Grey instead. He had the feeling he was going to need his wits about him this night.
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The former brunette walked to the mansion's front door, trying to fight off a major anxiety attack.
'Damn, should've taken a Prozac', she admonished. 'how am I going to give him this if I can't even get through the front door?' She raised her hand to ring the bell, hesitated, went forward, stopped to reconsider-
"Oh, good grief, just ring the bloody doorbell!" Came a voice from inside.
"Niles?"
"What do you want, sea hag?"
"Could you let me in, PLEASE?"
"What's the matter? Too chilly even for the ice queen?"
"NIIILES!"
The door opened and C.C. stalked in, cool resolve quickly dissolved.
"I don't know what is wrong with you, Lemon Fresh, but it must have something to do with all those chemicals you've been breathing in for the past twenty years!" She headed straight for Max's office. She needed a drink, and she needed it now.
"Hold on, Beast of Broadway, what exactly are you doing here?"
She swung around to face him, eyes blazing. "What do you care? Oh-ho, not planning on asking me something AGAIN, are you? You should be grateful I didn't bring my tape recorder with me, though try giving me a ring sometime. You'll just LOVE my new message!" She made a cruel laugh and turned towards Max's office again.
"Why do I even bother," Niles shook his head, heading back to the kitchen.
Ten minutes later, Niles looked up as the bane of his existence entered. She seemed to have calmed down considerably and was deep in thought. This afforded him the chance to study her. No matter how many times through the years he had opened the door for her, he never failed to be stunned by her beauty. Her hair glowed, even though he could tell that she barely rested that day, if at all.
He watched the way her lips parted slightly in concentration, wishing above all else to go to her and tell her all the things he'd kept silent about for so many years.
Wishing to kiss her.
She noticed eyes on her and looked up, scowling. "What?"
"Is there ever a nice, wholesome bone in that body of yours?" Niles couldn't believe mere moments ago he had been entertaining thoughts of taking Girl Interrupted in his arms and declaring his undying love.
"Are you going to tell me why you came here tonight?"
"I came to drop off my resignation letter, but I'm sure you heard about that already from Nanny Fine."
"Why?"
"Why what, Niles," she sighed.
"Oh for heaven's sake, stop being so bloody obtuse! Why are you leaving?" He got up from the table and walked toward her. "It's not like you have to quit now. After all, I won't be here to torture you." He waited for her to say something inflammatory, or at least a little rude.
She just stood there looking at him, and if he didn't know better he could have sworn he saw the traces of regret shadowed in her face. "Good bye, Niles." She started for the front door.
"C.C., wait." Just hearing his voice caused her to shudder.
He was so close to her that had she been capable of coherent thought, she would've noticed that her breathing stopped. Niles was even more angry with her than earlier when he'd exposed her to the truth. Seeing him this way excited her and even she had to admit that there was something very much the matter with C.C. Babcock.
There was a part of her that just wanted Niles to have his way with her, right there on the stairs. 'What would the Sheffields think,' she mused, a bit too much because a further infuriated Niles stared at her in disbelief.
'What is wrong with her?' He honestly didn't know whether to slap her back to her senses or just sink to the floor in frustration.
"I only want to know one thing," his eyes never once looking away from hers, almost as if he knew this was good bye and he wanted to remember every moment, every expression, no matter how painful.
"Was there ever a single moment of truth between us? Did you ever have any feeling for me at all?" He looked as though he was about to cry, with only his British reserve to reign it in. C.C. noticed that his grip had become painful, as though he was frightened to let her go. She felt lightheaded and realized that she hadn't taken a single breath since Niles had called her name.
"I'm sorry, I truly am. It's all in the letter I left at your door. I really have to go now." She started to turn away, a sob escaping before she could stop herself.
Niles was angry at her, angry at her for pretending she had feelings for him, and at himself for believing she did. As much as he could never bear to see any harm come to the pittiless witch, he wasn't above giving her hell himself.
"Look, Babcock, you may be done with me, but I am far from done with you. You can lie to yourself, for the rest of your life if you wish, but for this one moment I want to know what is going on in that tiny mind of yours!"
The awful truth of it all was even when C.C. was being her absolute worst, she couldn't help being utterly beautiful. He noticed that her blonde tresses were reflecting the dimmed light of the foyer and it appeared almost reddish-gold. Her eyes were the most entrancing shade of deep blue - good god, man, stop thinking of her like this! She doesn't want you, get over it!
He realized that her cheeks seemed to be awfully flushed, and he knew it wasn't from the liquor she'd consumed, nor from the fight he seemed to be having only with himself.
What exactly had she been thinking? He decided to take a different approach. Niles noticed that she shivered as he came closer, and fought the urge to smile.
C.C. felt him move beside her, his lips pressed close to her ear. "What were you thinking, Babcock?"
She felt a flush at the implication of his words. He sounded as if he was attempting to seduce her without even laying a finger on her. If he does that to me again, I'm going to be melt into a puddle on the floor. She found herself leaning into his chest, unleashing a sigh that wouldn't be contained.
"I think we need to talk somewhere," he paused, holding her close, "private." This time she moaned and didn't care whether he heard it or not.
She had a hard time keeping up with the man she finally realized she wanted to spend more than just the night with. She shook her head at her incredible stupidity - how had she wasted so much time?
They got to his room and stepped inside.
C.C. spoke first. "Niles, I-"
"Hush." He shut the door to his room and took her hand in his. "Let me speak first." He motioned for her to sit down on his bed and he started to pace.
"Where do I begin? You took me by surprise coming back here tonight, I expected never to see you again. I want you to know that I am so sorry for all the things I said and did to you in the past. You brought out a side in me I never even knew existed. My training as a butler dictated that I know ahead of time whatever those around me needed, but to stay out of the way when doing my job." He stopped and sat beside her. "That first day when I announced your arrival was a revelation for me. I was so....taken with you, and so damn frustrated. How could someone as beautiful, talented, witty and smart as you even give someone like me a second glance? I wanted to impress you, but how could I? I was merely the help, as you so often put it."
C.C. gave a sick little smile at that remark.
He just sat there, staring at her, unable to believe that she was there with him. He had so much to tell her, and he was almost afraid that if he didn't get it all out, he'd never get the chance. He took a breath and began again.
"The more I thought about things, the more I understood how things were to be. I had been Mr. Sheffield's butler for about 6 years and still had the leftover desires of a young man who wanted to be a barrister, commanding and respected in the court. It hadn't yet dawned on me that my path was to be here with Max and his wonderful family. I was truly needed and after a time knew that and how lonely I would've been without them in my life."
"My god, Niles, I never knew this. I don't know what to say..." She looked up at him, tears starting to form.
"You never asked, you were - we both were - too busy trying to one up each other in the biting remarks department. I made another realization, though. Being here with the Sheffields meant seeing you everyday, and even though I couldn't compare to with the rich and successful men you were used to dating I could be in your presence, and that was enough." He got up from the bed and started pacing again. "Of course, seeing you everyday also meant that I would have to say more than 'How can I help you?' So, I decided to try a different tack, especially since I didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of being with you.."
"Hence the stream of insults?" She smirked.
"Of course, Edwina," he grinned.
"Ha-ha, not letting go of the whole poultry thing, are you? Though I've always loved 'Chicken Run'," she laughed.
He turned to her. "I love your laugh. You don't know how many times I've taken one of your zingers just to hear it." He sat down and took her hand in his.
"Did you ever tell Maxwell?"
"What? That I love your laugh?"
"No, silly. That you wanted to be a lawyer."
"Yes, we talked about our goals many times in University. He even tried talking me into leaving his employ so I could pursue mine."
"Why didn't you?" She asked.
"His family had done so much for me, I was able to go to Oxford thanks to them. I guess at first I felt an obligation to them. Of course later, it was purely a sense of duty and affection that made me realize what my calling was."
"Ah, affection for Max and his family," she nodded.
"Yes, them. And you."
She beamed. She leaned forward to kiss him, and stopped at his puzzled expression. "What's wrong, Niles? Isn't this what you wanted? It's certainly what I need," she gave a throaty laugh.
"There's more to this than just.....this. I want you to know that from the beginning of the day to the end of the evening, I love you. I love you more than my own life, and I think I have since the very first time I met you, before you were blonde, " he gave a laugh of his own.
He stopped when he noticed the pained expression on C.C.'s face.
"What's wrong?"
"Do you mean that? I mean, how could you possibly mean that?" She had tears in her eyes now, and pulled away from the baffled butler.
"Please, don't run from me again, I don't know how many ways to make you see how much I care for you. This is crazy, but we have to end it, tonight. I have to know how you feel."
She stood up and ran a hand through her hair. Niles was fearful that this frustrating dream was just going to vanish like gossamer. Her features took on the familiar sarcastic expression he knew so well, and he felt his heart start to break.
"Tell me something, Niles. Why didn't you say something to me sooner? What possessed you to play with my feelings all these years?" Her voice started to grow louder in anger, and he couldn't help but think his Beast was going mad before his eyes.
"What in the world are you talking about, Sybil? I never had a chance to say anything to you, you never gave an inch! What was I to do? Declare my undying love in the middle of one of our sparring matches? You must think me as insane as you are!" He spat the words out, his voice matching hers in volume.
"Let me get this straight, all these years you harbored feelings for me, even while you drove me to..to that Place?" She was barely able to keep her feelings in check.
"Don't pretend that you were blameless in all of this, Babcock! It wasn't as though you didn't give me plenty of ammunition with all of the little witticisms you lobed my way! I thought you could barely stand me, let alone have deeper feelings. Yes, I may have played games, but you were every bit as responsible as I. I certainly couldn't offer my hand to you in those conditions."
"Oh, right! Like I would ever accept anything you had to offer! Let me see, trade in my rich, comfortable existence, my beautiful Park Avenue apartment, all of the luxuries and people I hold dear, to move into your room!?" She looked around the small, modest space, waving her arm.
"Just look, over here I can put my baby grand! Oh, oh, how about that massive closet? That will hold, what, a THIRD of my clothes? If I fold them all?" She laughed derisively.
"Face it, Mr. Clean, I sooo out of your league it's not even funny. I just thought you wanted a one night stand. At least that we could keep secret. Don't you realize I'm a wealthy socialite, a Babcock. And Babcock's do not mix with the help. Which is all you'll ever be." She stood there, her eyes full of fire.
"I can just hear it now; 'Poor C.C. Babcock. Couldn't get the man of her dreams so she had to settle for the Merry Maid instead.'" She said the cruel words so fast and in such anger that the look on the handsome butler's face didn't quite register until he was right on her again, his face a storm cloud of dark and unsettling feelings.
He looked as though he'd aged 10 years. Niles thought of all the things he wanted to say, all of the hurtful and angry words he wanted to hurl back at her. Finally, though, he just looked at her square in the eye, a devastated look on his face.
"Go, now." It was all he trusted himself to say to her.
She thought of all the things she should have said to him. She wanted to say so much, but her stubborn pride knew no bounds and she stormed out of his room, and out of his life.
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Niles sat at his bed, head in hands. He couldn't believe what had just transpired. One minute, the woman of his dreams, right here with him. The next, gone, with a trail of vitriol behind her. He would never figure that woman out. Going home to England would at least put her out of his mind for a little while. He wrote a quick note to the Sheffield's; he was sorry to break his promise to them, but if there was ever a time he needed to get away, it was now.
He locked the front door and started down toward the cab. He settled in, taking one last look at the only home he'd known for the past 20 years. So many memories, he murmured.
"La Guardia, please," he told the cab driver.
*******************************************************************************
C.C. packed enough for two weeks; the rest of her belongings she planned to call for after her arrival in Paris. Chester looked up at his mistress with as worried an expression as a dog could muster.
"Don't worry, baby, I would never leave you behind," she bent down, picking up the little ball of fluff. She settled him into his travel carrier and took one long last look at her lonely apartment. She'd been so focused on getting out of the country as quickly as possible that she didn't even change her clothes.
"Well, it's been...real."
"...crap," she added, locking the door.
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This is really ridiculous. C.C. was royally peeved. Her cab had been on the expressway for the past two hours, and they were no closer to La Guardia Airport. She leaned forward and held a 100 dollar bill in front of the cabbie's face.
"See this? I've got five more just like it if you can get me to the airport in the next half hour," she offered, trying to sound as sweet and charming as possible.
"Lady, if I had a transporter stored in this heap, you'd be the first I'd stick on it. We-are-stuck-in-traf-fic. There ain't nothin' I can do 'bout it." She sat back, resigned.
Twenty minutes later, they were a bit closer to her destination.
"Hey, it's too quiet in here. Do you suppose you could turn the radio on?"
"Yeah, sure. Anything to drown out your yap."
The man was lucky he was driving, otherwise he probably would've been the recipient of an empty liquor flask. To the back of his head.
"....and that was Sailing by Christopher Cross. Now it's time for our request hour. And the first one comes from a Fran from Manhattan. She's dedicating this to a...oh, hold on, it's for two people. Now this is interesting. It seems that these two have been in love for many years, but both too stubborn to admit it to the other." She sat forward in her seat, a puzzled look on her face.
"Can you turn this up?" The driver turned it up as far as it could go.
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Niles figured there might be a bit of congestion but wasn't too worried. He had made allowances for the traffic and still had plenty of time before his flight was to depart. The radio was playing some songs he fondly remembered from his early days with Maxwell. The song ended and it was time for request hour. Niles, being the romantic he was, usually loved listening to the dedications people left for their loved ones. However, after having his heart trounced on by the Segrams hag, he wasn't exactly in the mood. He was about to ask the driver to turn it off when a familiar name made him pause. "No, couldn't be," he whispered.
".....and Fran just wants to get her two friends together. Now that is one good friend, don't you think? Well, I hope you two lovebirds are listening, and best of luck to the two of you." There was a two second delay, and then the song began:
What can fill your heart till it breaks
Make you dream when you're wide awake
What could fill your whole lifetime through
Though it doesn't belong to you
Whoever you are
Wherever you go
Will I meet you there
And how will I know
When you can't hear for listening
When you can't see a single thing
When you don't care what's happening
You already know
He sat back in his seat, and listened, imagining her lovely face all the while........
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What's a feeling that can't be touched
What's a pleasure that hurts so much
Like a promise that you can't break
What can steal every breath you take
Whoever we are
Whenever we touch
Will love disappear
If we take too much
When you can't hear for listening
When you can't see a single thing
When you don't care what's happening
You already know
C.C. leaned forward, wrapping her arms around the front passenger seat. The song was beautiful, and made her play through her entire history with Butler Boy. She was leaving for Paris with the sole intention of forgetting about him, but that was proving nearly impossible.
When the night doesn't let you sleep
When you can't find the words to speak
When this secret's too much to keep
You already know
And when love surrounds you
There'll be no reason to even explain
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The radios shut off simultaneously as the two cabs pulled into La Guardia. Bags were collected, money exchanged, and the lonely walk toward new (if not exactly welcome) futures began. Niles checked his watch and headed towards the check-in point. Suck a long day and he was at least looking forward to a little uninterrupted sleep. Perhaps a little brandy would help speed him along to slumber.
C.C. hurried along the terminal, fuming. This was the last flight leaving for Paris, and if she missed it, she was most certainly going to rethink her retirement from the bottle. A loud bell sounded and the PA crackled to life. It was busy, but not nearly as much as usual.
"The following flights have been delayed: TWA flight 709 to Jakarta, American flight 476 to Dublin, British Airways flight 101 to London, and Virgin Atlantic flight 339 to Paris. We will keep you posted on any developments and apologize for the inconvenience."
"You must be kidding!" Two lonely souls gripped at the same time. Both sat down in exasperation and watched the wall.
Niles took off his overcoat and sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chair. He glanced over and noticed that a slip of white peeked from his coat pocket; it was a letter addressed to him.
In her handwriting.
"What in the world," the very confused butler whispered.
********************************************************************************
C.C. checked her watch. It had been over two hours with no changes yet. This is crazy, she muttered, I need a drink. Instead she opted for a large cup of coffee. She made her way to the only open coffee shop in the nearly deserted airport.
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Niles read through the letter again; it was hard to tell whether C.C. was serious or just toying with his already ravaged emotions yet again. But it was hard to read and not believe everything written.
Dear Niles,
Hello,hello!
I'm not as chipper as that just sounded, but wouldn't it be rather odd if I didn't greet you in the usual manner? Boy, we certainly had a time of it tonight, didn't we? I'm thankful for the art of letter-writing; because let's face it, I probably couldn't get a word in edgewise in person! Not that I'd let you, either.
I have to thank you first of all. You opened my eyes tonight, and made me aware of things I may have never come to on my own. Face it, you've always had that effect on me. I have always been a bit...stubborn? Yes, I see you're nodding vigorously, haha! What you made me realize, not even 20 years of therapy could accomplish. You should be proud!
Would you believe that I went home and dumped all of the booze I had stashed away? Just trying not to prove you right, I suppose. We've been through so much together, I wonder what it would've been like not to be at each others throats.
We will probably never see each other again, but I think it's for the best, after all.
I wish you all of the best in your life, because believe it or not, I really want you to be happy.
I would like to say that were we to meet again, we might have been friends.
Sincerely,
C.C.
P.S. I almost said yes.
All Niles focused on were the last four words.
I almost said yes.
"She almost said yes?" So many emotions were running through his mind he could barely breathe. He started to pace and realized that coffee was needed to help clear his mind.
There were two people ahead of him, a short man in a business suit who looked as though he was about to fall asleep while standing, and one really cranky blonde who looked as though she was about to spontaneously combust on the spot. She seemed awfully familiar.
And then she spoke.
"Look, I don't care if you have to personally dig into all of those boxes in the back, I want a packet of Vanilla Nut creamer, and I want it now!"
Niles turned five shades of green. "O my god, not her, not now."
He got out of line and headed back toward his seat. There was so much to think about, to consider. He didn't want to make a hasty decision, and certainly not with the bane of his existance/love of his life mere feet away. 'And to think I could've been half way to London by now', he sat down to get his bearings. He looked behind him and was surprised to discover that C.C. had sitting behind him all along. He got up and made his next move.
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C.C. walked back to her sit, finally holding her coffee. If not for that insipid clerk, she could've had it a whole lot sooner. As she got closer to her seat, her eyes fell on someone sitting far too close to her bags.
"What th- HEY! Get away from my stuff!" She ran over, ready for a fight .
"Look, perhaps you can't read English, but the name on those tags say-"
"C.C." A resigned Brit answered.
"That's right, C......what?" She leaned down to get a better look at the snoop. "It's you. Oh my god, it's really you! What is this, some crazy cosmic joke?"
"Apparently. Or perhaps a wakeup call," Niles replied, looking up at her.
She stood there, biting her lip.
"Ah, so the Beast of Broadway's tongue is silenced for once?"
"How did you find me here? Wait, did you follow me?
"Oh for heaven's sake! The world doesn't revolve around you! I was waiting for my plane, I'll have you know."
C.C. thought for a moment, then sat down by what was starting to dawn on her as destiny.
"So, here we are yet again, drawn inexplicably by....fate, or maybe something stronger?" She asked.
"I don't know. I do know that I'm tired, and I don't think we're going to be leaving the country anytime soon. I also know that I should not have said what I did 2 ½ hours ago." He looked older than she had ever seen him. It broke her heart.
C.C. licked her lips, preparing to tell him how she felt. How she really felt.
"I'm so sorry," she started, burying her face in her hands. In that one moment, she wasn't C.C. Babcock, Beast of Broadway. She was Chastity Claire, whole of heart and open to love. "I said things that were deplorable. I don't even know why. I wanted to say far different things to you. I wanted you to know how I felt, without my upbringing getting in the way. I get angry and all of my rudeness kicks in. I saw how hurt you were and instead of taking it all back, I just made it all worse."
"You know what you did to me, Babcock?" Niles asked, removing her hands from her face and taking them in his.
"A very long time ago, a seemingly shy and unassuming young woman rang Maxwell Sheffield's front door. A not so shy and unassuming young man answered the door and his life changed forever. You took an arrow and shot it right into my heart and all I could do was stand there and stare in wonder at you. You had no idea what you were capable of. At least not yet. Do you not remember?"
She watched him as he spoke, and thought about the first time they had met.
She was young, just out of college, the world literally at her feet. Though she hadn't been too sure of that fact at the time.
Her best friend Sara had recommended her to Max and she wanted to make the best impression possible. She had spent most of her time straightening her clothes and making sure her chestnut hair wasn't too much of a mess. She wasn't the blonde headturner yet, but she definitely had something.
She summoned her courage and knocked on the front door.
She vaguely recalled Sara stating that they had a butler, but try as she might C.C. couldn't remember his name. She would've had a tough time doing much of anything with those eyes looking right into hers. He was about 33 or so, very tanned, very handsome. His suit fit him to a T, and what was that scent he was wearing?! She took a few seconds to admire the way the afternoon sun highlighted his dark blond hair, and against her better judgment, lifted her hand to touch it.
All of this processed before he opened his mouth to say-
"How may I help you?"
She dropped her hand, instead reaching out to shake his. 'What in the world was I thinking?' Was her first thought. 'Take me' was her second. The butler had a firm hand, and combined with that voice of his, she was ready to tell him exactly how he could help her.
"Oh my, yes...I remember. Would you believe that our lives could've been waaay different had I just been honest back then?" She laughed, looking into his eyes. "I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am, for everything. I told you that I was a product of defective upbringing!"
"Well, I'm glad to say that my family didn't saddle me with too many embarrassing bugaboos. I had you to drive me nuts instead! Though I can't possibly imagine a richer existence without you. And I never want to. Which brings me to my next subject...."
"Oh no, not again," she mocked, shielding her face from him. "Give me time, Niles. You might be surprised at the response of a woman with breathing room."
Niles wanted so much to take her hand in his and just ask her. For a man with the patience of the ages, this was the one time that was really going to prove difficult.
Both looked up as the noise of the PA crackled to life. "Attention please. British Airways flight 101 to London, and Virgin Atlantic flight 339 to Paris are now clear for boarding. We apologize for any inconvenience and hope you have a safe flight."
"Well, it would figure that the dolts finally see fit to let us go," she sighed.
Niles grinned. "Don't you see what happened? We got delayed for a reason, Babcock. What ever is supposed to happen, we've got to let play out. We have a duty to this!"
Oh god, Lysol's gone and lost his mind, she mused.
But I guess I have too, she thought as she gave Niles her reply wrapped in a passionate kiss.
"You know what? I think this would play out a lot better at home," he whispered.
"Yes, I don't want to be caught in public.."
"...making out with the help?"
"Being taken on a hard plastic chair! At least let's wait until we get to the limo!" She hit him playfully.
"I promise you that when I take you, there'll be no plastic in sight, and it won't be on a chair...at least not the first time. But I assure you, it will most definitely be hard!" He grinned wolfishly.
"Let's blow this joint, shall we?" She asked.
Niles wrapped his arm around her and they headed out of the airport together, a new life ahead of them.
The End