Ok this is my first fanfic, so don't laugh, unless your suppose to?
Uhh, Whatever just try to enjoy it.
Setting: A small psychiatry room
Washu (the physiatrist): Who's first? Ok how about Heero and Relina. Come right in. Relina why don't you start.
Relina:Heeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooooo!
Washu: Relina he's right here. How about we start with Heero.
Heero: Here I have a list of everything that's wrong with that woman. (Heero hands Washu the list)
Washu reading the list: Umm.Heero don't you think you listed "She's stupid" a little too many times.
Heero: No I don't think I listed too much.
Washu: Whatever you say. Well I think your main problem is she won't leave you alone and she follows you everywhere.
Heero: Ri...
Relina, interupting: Heeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooo! Where are you? !
Heero: I'M RIGHT HERE!
Relina: OH, HI!
Heero: Do you see what I mean?!
Relina: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrroooooooooo! Don't leave!
Washu: RELINA HE IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE! Well Relina is obviously traumatized by you leaving her. Do you know anything about that?
Heero:I don't see the use of her missing me if she's just going to hunt me down anyway!
Relina: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroooo..............
Heero, starting to draw out a gun: I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU!
Washu: Ok, just put the gun down!
(Heero starts putting the gun away)
Washu: ~phew~One question though.
Heero: What?
Washu: Do you always carry a gun?
Heero: 24 hours a day, every day a week.
Washu: Could you tell me why?
Heero: Well, you never know when OZ might attack again.
Washu: Who is OZ?
Heero: Long story.
Washu:I think I've gotten myself into too much. Now Relina will you please start speaking in English?
Relina: War is wrong, weapons are wrong.
Washu: Heero, Translation please.
Heero: She once tried to accomplish total pacifism.
Washu:I have the diagnosis for both of you.
Heero, well you sleep with a gun at your side!
And Relina...well Relina is just stupid!
Relina:doh!
Washu: Now please get her out! Your time is up. Next?
(Quatre and Trowa walk in and sit down on the couch. Quatre sits really close to Trowa, who looks uncomfortable and scoots away, but Quatre doesn't notice)
Washu: Now what seems to be the problem? Why did you seek counseling?
Trowa:...
Quatre: Nuh uh! That's not true!
Trowa:...
Quatre: (Bursts into tears) You always say that!
Trowa: ...
Washu: (Sweat Drops) Um...he's not talking....
Trowa: (Looks sharply at Washu)...
Washu: (Jumps) Okay! Next!
Quatre: What about a diagnosis??
Washu: You're both nuts. Go see Charter. And if you don't get help at Charter...please...get help somewhere. Next!
(Wufei and Duo walk in, Duo happily aloof, and Wufei scowling at Washu)
Washu: Okay now-
Wufei: Shut up, woman.
Washu: What?!
Duo: (Plays with his cute braid) Uh... don't take it personally...he hates women...ALL women...
Wufei: Shut up girlie man. Your femininity is dishonorable.
Duo: (Beats Wufei with his braid) Kah! Kah! Kah!
Wufei: Ehhh.....(Bleeds)
Duo: (Hits him one last time for good measure) And take that!
Wufei: Eh...
Duo: You are sooo uncool...
Washu: Um...I can see a bit of the problem. You want to talk about it, Wufei?
Wufei: There is no problem with me. Only with weak WOMEN like YOU.
Washu: If you call me weak one more time, I will be forced to use my hands-on therapy tactics...
Wufei: No woman will show me up!
Washu:(Throws a star-shaped portal at the wall, sticks her head in it. She pulls it back out and in pops EVERY Tenchi girl...)
Duo: (Perks up) My problem is solved....
Ryoko: (Glares down at Wufei) WHAT WERE YOU SAYING ABOUT WOMEN BEING WEAK?!
Wufei: What, are you going to beat me to death with your mammary glands?
Ryoko: HAAAAAYAHHH! (A ball of energy forms around her balled fists, and Wufei goes Chibi and falls over, burnt and bleeding)
Washu: Thanks Ryoko. Your services are no longer needed.
Duo: Oh, I wouldn't say that. See, I've been having this impotence problem...
Washu: STOP! I'm a HEAD doctor not a.... YOU KNOW...doctor...
Duo: Oh. Then EXCUSE me.... (Walks off, zipping his pants and muttering about being uncool)
Washu: (Again alone in her office, sighs a breath of relief) Thanks god they're gone....
Chibi Quatre: (Rushes in, dragging a bruised and unamused looking Trowa along) DOCTOR, DOCTOR! HE SAID IT AGAIN!
Fin