Author's Note: Hello everyone! This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction, though not my first fanfiction. You'll probably see more of these from me soon! :)
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters - they are J.K.'s.
How it burned. Oh, the agony…
Lying on top of his bed, Remus was in an emotional pain so striking it was almost physical. His body wracked with spasms, he lay curled on the covers for hours, sometimes days, not sleeping. All he did for the entire span of the moon after he'd taken his potion was stare at one of his many pictures of her.
Lily.
Sweet, sweet Lily. Her dark red hair; green eyes so brilliant they nearly glowed – he knew everything about her. It hurt him still to think of the cruel, wasteful was she had died, but Remus never cried. She would have hated to be the one to make him cry.
Sometimes the pain grew to unbearable proportions. It was so overwhelming at those times that the only thing he could do was whimper while Tonks stroked his hair soothingly. She knew nothing of the feelings that caused him this horrible hurt – she thought it was just the moon.
Remus remembered every different version of Lily – Hogwarts Lily, summer Lily, holiday Lily, even Lily at night underneath the trees by the lake. He'd a clear picture of her eyes, and the way they shined depending on which boy she was with. They shined brightest when she was pregnant with James's child. She'd had two boys since the beginning of those nine months, and ever after that.
Lily had always been the best thing to happen to both Remus and James, maybe even Sirius, though he obviously denied it. Lily'd had that affect on people. Though she was always extremely bright, she was never an outcast at Hogwarts. All the teachers loved her, including the other Heads of Houses beside her own.
Never was she an outcast, but even her books and quick spell work could not save her from the Dark Lord's swift wand work. She was dead in seconds, her son, who was still breathing, held protectively beneath her. That was how they'd found Harry.
Remus had been there when they had uncovered her body. He'd screamed that it wasn't true; his tears had flown freely for her then. Only Tonks's comfort had saved him then. Tonks had come through for him in his darkest hour.
And truly, it was darker than the deepest black.
He owed Dora so many things, his life included.
But he also owed them to Lily – without her, he'd have been an outcast as well. And now, as the last of the Marauders, he all but was.
He prayed to Lily sometimes. She was his only light in the darkness, even with Dora constantly at his side now. Lily was his only pain and his only solace. The night before the final battle, Remus prayed to Lily. He'd prayed for her to keep his son safe, as she had kept her own son safe.
He forgot to pray for himself and Dora.
And at last, before he went to bed, Remus told Lily for the first time that he'd loved her – and that he loved her still.