OMGZ IT'S ME. What? You thought I was gonna update ADKOL? Uh, yeah... about that... ^_^' Well, honestly, I'm on a bit of a drawing blanks stage with it, so I decided to start a new one. But this time... it's a Muse fanfic! WOO! It's kinda new for me actually - this is my first ever Domatt-Howamy-Bellard-Beldom-whatever thingy, so bear with us if it's a bit on the crepe side. I will update ADKOL. I will. Just give me some time. I promise I'm not breaking up with it.

I scuffed my shoe on one of the trees as I walked around the front yard of Chris' house, trying to calm myself and think things over. It was freezing cold outside - I just wanted to get in. Into the warm. Into the shelter.

But really, I didn't. I couldn't. There was something inside that building blocking my way in - or should I say, someone.

How long had it been? Three years now? If this went on for any longer, I could have sworn I was going to just... spontaneously combust. But it had to. I had no choice. How could I tell him such a thing? To him, everything is normal. In his eyes, everything is how it should be. In his eyes, nothing is going on in my mind except music when we practice. In his eyes, I'm just Dominic, and he's just Matthew. But not in mine.

If I told him, I was just going to hurt myself. He wasn't the same as me. In fact I felt nobody was the same as me; like I was alone, with no one to talk to. I was justified, though; it was the truth. I didn't have anyone to talk to. It'd been like that for a long time, you would have thought I'd have got used to it. I thought I'd get used to it. But I didn't.

I never got used to the fact that I couldn't be with him the way I wanted to. I never got used to the fact that I couldn't touch him the way I wanted to; hold him the way I wanted to. Every time I saw him I just wanted to tell him, but I knew I couldn't. So I kept away from him. I kept away, because I knew that if I saw him again, I'd want to tell him so badly it'd hurt.

But I had got myself into a situation from the very start - I started a band with him. And for that very reason, I was standing outside Chris' house, freezing my balls off trying to think a way out of band practice. I was drawing blanks. I'd used every excuse in the book for months - I was ill, I was busy working, I was too tired, I'd injured my hand; hands if necessary - everything. They wouldn't believe me if I repeated one of them. There was that, or a really stupid one like "I've just started a marching band and we're really busy learning a repertoire for a competition in Yorkshire". Yeah, right. To make matters worse, Matt was really worried about me. So was Chris, but it wasn't of the same significance - don't get me wrong; he's a great friend and band mate and everything, but Chris was just Chris, and Matt was... so much more. I don't think anyone can match Matt in any way.

Suddenly, the door was open and all I could do was freeze. Almost literally.

"Dom?" Chris's voice wisped through the icy wind and eventually to my ears in a muffled exclamation.

"Chris, I--"

"Where the hell have you been? You haven't answered any of your calls, you weren't at home last time I visited, you haven't been to band practice for weeks, we've hardly been able to get on with anything, I..." he trailed off. "...Matt's worried," he said in a small voice. "Like, really worried." My heart thumped against my ribcage and I raised my eyebrows at him. "You better come inside."

I took a quiet, deep breath and stepped into the warmth.

Walking into the living room, I spotted Matt in the corner, sitting at a keyboard and staring through it as if it wasn't there. He looked so... emotionless. His face was a blank canvas. I cleared my throat softly and his empty eyes flickered up, widening as soon as they met mine.

"Matt, I'm really--"

"Dom! Where the fuck have you been I've been so fucking worried, I thought something had happened to you, don't ever do that again - you better have a good explanation for not contacting us since you said you had a cold!" He exclaimed in one breath. I gave him an apologetic look, but he carried on frowning - I hated it when he frowned... well, when he frowned because he was angry; when he frowned in concentration it looked... cute. He stood up from the piano stool and walked towards me. I flinched as I saw his arms extend, but then I felt them wrap around me tightly, and then loosen and begin to lightly stroke my back. I tensed up. "Four fucking weeks, Dom," he said into my shoulder. I guess that was his form of an apology for yelling at me.

He let go of me and I let out a breath that had been building up inside my lungs. "Sorry," I finished. He sighed and sat back down on the piano stool, looking down at it with a childish shyness he always had whenever he knew he'd done something wrong.

"You better be," he said quietly, stroking his index finger down middle C. Although it was clear he wanted an explanation, it was also clear that he didn't expect one, nor was he going to say any more about it, so I stayed quiet.

"Hey, guys. I was wondering whether you wanted a drink or something?" Chris leaned against the doorframe to the living room uncomfortably.

Matt didn't look up from the keyboard. "I'm fine, Chris. Thanks."

His eyes shifted across from Matt to me. "Just some water please, mate."

He nodded once and disappeared promptly into the kitchen. I heard a cupboard open and glasses clinking, before the tap started running and abruptly stopped. The appearance of Chris in the lounge soon followed as he put the glass down on the coffee table gingerly, and then sat down in a black leather armchair.

"So," he began awkwardly. There was a silence. "Uh, since Dom is here, shall we start practice?"

I looked to Chris, who was looking at Matt, who was still staring at the keyboard. He pressed down on the C he had his index finger on and the note resonated briefly and quietly through the silence. "Okay," he said.

Since when did things between us become so awkward?

Oh yeah. Since I decided to fall in love with Matt.

Comments? Constructive crit? Plz :D?