A/N: This one shot was written for the Kurtbastian Hiatus Project prompt 'sweaters'. AU, angst, fluff, humor.
When Sebastian opens the door to his penthouse and sees Kurt standing in the hallway with his suitcase, his mind goes blank.
"Uh, Kurt…" Sebastian's eyes flick back and forth between Kurt's suitcase and the wry smile twisting his boyfriend's lips, "what are you doing?"
"Well, remember last night when we talked about me moving in?" Kurt asks, pushing his way through the door with not only the suitcase in his hand, but one wheeled behind him.
"Yeeeee-ah?" Sebastian replies, helpless to do anything as he watches Kurt invade his home.
"Well, I know I was super reluctant at first, but then I got to thinking…" Kurt doesn't stop in the living room. Instead, he walks with his luggage toward the bedroom, and Sebastian hurries to follow, "I'm over here all the time anyway, and…"
"And I thought you were worried about personal space," Sebastian points out, panic brewing in his chest as Kurt heads straight for the closets.
"Yeah, well…" Kurt says, stopping by Sebastian's bed to take off his peacoat and unwind his scarf, "your place is huge, and you said you had that extra room I could use as a studio. I think that would be sufficient enough to hide in if I need some space to myself." Kurt opens his arms wide and sighs with a satisfied smile. "So, here I am."
"Here you are," Sebastian says with a forced chuckle, the smile on his face almost a grimace as his teeth clench tight, making his eyes bug in his skull.
Kurt tilts his head as he shrugs off his coat the rest of the way and watches at his oddly behaved boyfriend.
"What's up?" Kurt asks, his smile disappearing as he furrows his brow. "Last night you were climbing all over me to move in. Now you look like you're stuck in the path of a runaway semi."
"Uh…" Sebastian starts, eyes darting anxiously towards the closet, and Kurt's look of confusion slips quickly into anger.
"I knew it!" Kurt says, reaching for his coat again. "I just…I knew it!"
"Knew what?" Sebastian rushes forward and grabs for Kurt's coat, trying to keep him from getting it back up onto his shoulders. "Kurt…"
"It was all talk, wasn't it?"
Kurt's question is rhetorical, but Sebastian answers anyway.
"No," Sebastian answers, succeeding in yanking the coat from Kurt's arms and tossing it onto the bed, "it wasn't all talk. I just…I wish you had given me a little time to…prepare…"
"Prepare for what?" Kurt narrows his eyes at Sebastian. "Last night you made it seem like I could move in right away."
"And you can," Sebastian says with a little more exasperation than he intends. "I just need to do some…moving around."
Kurt stares at Sebastian hard, trying to unearth the reasons behind his suspicious behavior, but Sebastian's expression remains blank…and as far as Kurt can tell, honest.
Kurt sighs.
"You're right," he says. "I'm sorry. I should have at least given you a heads up."
Sebastian's whole body relaxes and something about his extreme relief raises alarms in Kurt's head, but Kurt still feels guilty for barging in.
"That's all I wanted," Sebastian says.
Kurt looks at Sebastian, his face tense despite the apology, and Kurt takes it as a sign to leave.
"So, I should get my bags and go," Kurt reasons out loud.
"No!" Sebastian puts his arms around Kurt and holds him tight. "No, I want you to move in. I just need, like, fifteen minutes…" Kurt peeks up at Sebastian's face and catches him looking at the closet again. "So, why don't you stop by that café on the corner and order us some lunch." Sebastian reaches a hand into his pocket and pulls out his wallet, opening it and handing Kurt a twenty. "I'll get things squared away here, and then we'll get you moved in."
Kurt looks at the bill in his hand and then back at Sebastian. Sebastian is usually a better liar than this – though Sebastian has only lied about little things to Kurt, things that wouldn't make or break their relationship. Whatever this is, it has to be a doozy.
"Okay," Kurt agrees, pocketing the money and kissing Sebastian quickly on the lips, adding a condescending pat on the cheek that Sebastian seems to miss or just plain overlook as he ushers Kurt back through the rooms and out of the penthouse. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
"Take your time," Sebastian mutters, kissing Kurt good-bye and nearly slamming the door in his face.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck…" Sebastian chants as he hurries back to his room and the walk-in closet. He throws open the door. "I've got to get you out of here."
In hindsight, he should have done this a long time ago. He always knew that Kurt was 'the one', even when he couldn't stand the sight of him. Something inside him just knew it. He should have put his past behind him then and there, but every year that went by it happened again and again and again. Sebastian couldn't stop it. He didn't have the power.
Part of him feels so bad at the idea of shoving this away, but now isn't the time to linger on his doubts.
Sebastian pulls a folded brown cardboard box out of the closet – a relic from when he first moved to the penthouse years ago – and starts constructing it. He doesn't have time to duct tape it, so he prays the box will hold till he gets it to his storage locker in the basement. Hanger after hanger, he yanks them down until the box is full to bursting.
"Come on come on come on," he pleads with the box whose sides are bowing, stunned that he never realized he had amassed so many. He gathers the pregnant box into his arms, not even bothering with the flaps in an effort to save time. He stumbles out into the hall, kneeing the bottom of the box when it starts to slip.
Sebastian hears the front door open and freezes with the box in his arms.
"Sorry, Seb…" Kurt calls from the living room.
Kurt had stood in the outside hall, waiting for Sebastian to appear – or more to the point, Sebastian's mysterious whatever to appear. When ten minutes had gone by and still nothing, Kurt decided for a more direct approach.
Sebastian swallows when he hears him coming closer.
"…but I dropped my keys when I took off my coat, and…"
Kurt stops when he finds Sebastian frozen in the hallway, crouched as if he's preparing to run, a cardboard box collapsing in his arms and his eyes blown open wide.
This isn't at all what Kurt had been expecting.
"Sebastian?" Kurt asks, worried more than suspicious now that he sees the state Sebastian is in. "Are you…" Sebastian's eyes subconsciously dart down to the box, and Kurt's eyes follow. He takes a quick glance down and up, but then looks back and stares, his lips curling at the edges, his eyes shining with delight. "What…what are those?" Kurt wants to laugh – is dying to laugh – but Sebastian is still paralyzed in place like a frightened animal, and Kurt doesn't want to risk scaring Sebastian away before he's gotten the chance to enjoy this moment.
"Th-these?" Sebastian stutters with a look of fright and horror that Kurt has never before seen on his boyfriend's face. "These are…what?"
Kurt can't help himself. The contents of the box are begging him to go through it and humiliate Sebastian one by one.
"You have…ugly sweaters!"
"These? No…" Sebastian stammers as Kurt starts rooting through the box of knit wear. "These aren't mine. These…"
Kurt pulls one out and holds it up – a knitted sweater of the nativity scene but with cats and Sebastian's name in large letters across the chest.
"They aren't yours, huh?"
Sebastian's head drops back on his neck and he squeezes his eyes shut, begging quietly for death to take him.
"Look," Sebastian groans, "I have a confession to make."
"Okay…" Kurt says, crossing his arms over his chest with the horrendous sweater in his arms and preparing for the greatest excuse of Sebastian Smythe's life.
"I have…" Sebastian starts with a hard swallow.
"Yes…" Kurt says, encouraging Sebastian to continue.
Sebastian exhales heavy.
"…a grandmother."
"No!" Kurt gasps sarcastically. Sebastian adjusts the box in his arms and looks away, not interested in watching Kurt mock him. "Sebastian, I know you have a grandmother."
"Yeah, well, what you don't know is she's not exactly…all there," Sebastian says, looking down at the sweaters in the box. "She likes to knit, and she seems to think I'm twelve years old…"
Sebastian lets the sentence go and Kurt nods, his smug attitude cooling a bit. He knew that Sebastian's parents had moved his grandmother into a home, but he figured it was just to get her out of that huge house she lived in and put her in a place where someone could keep an eye on her, where she might make some friends. He never imagined there was something else behind it.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" Kurt asks, not offended by Sebastian's omission, simply curious.
"About my grandmother…yes," Sebastian admits, "eventually."
"But not the sweaters."
It's not a question.
"Nope," Sebastian says, smirking as he stares past Kurt off to the distance.
"Well, too bad, Smythe," Kurt says, taking Sebastian's arm and leading him back to the bedroom. "You're not getting off that easy."
"What do you mean?" Sebastian asks with a suspicious growl, catching the box before it falls to the ground.
"It means, we're not having sex again until you model every one of these sweaters for me."
"No, Kurt," Sebastian says though it's more of a whine.
"Yes, Sebastian," Kurt replies. "Consider it penance for keeping this from me." Kurt takes the box from Sebastian's hands and drops it on the bed, then tosses the cat nativity sweater back at him. Sebastian catches it. He looks down at the offending garment, glaring at it as if his eyes could light the thing on fire. He hears a throat clear and looks back up at his boyfriend, who's reclining back on the bed, smiling like anything, waiting for the fashion show to begin.
"Whose idea was it for you to move in, anyway?"