A/N:

Okay, I'll be honest with you--I've only done notes for Le Jeu de l'Amour, and it's really bugging me at the moment, but nothing else I can do really. Instead, I offer you some oneshots inspired by the random word generator. I will be, hopefully, creating 26 successful or at least comprehensive Axel/Roxas oneshots, where each story is inspired by a random word, the chapters progressing like A to Z. I haven't been able to work on anything else, really, but here goes nothing haha. For Chapter 1, I kept pressing refresh until I got to the first word that started with an "A", and I ended up with "Apart".

Episode A: Tear Me Apart

Summary: Nobodies can't feel. The most they'd suffer would be feelings of dizziness, nausea, and maybe weakness, but when Axel begins to suffer more feelings than he knows he's capable of experiencing, the desire to tear himself apart in order to find the root of his condition heightens. He didn't think he'd find Roxas to be the source of it all.

Genre: Drama/Angst
Rating: T for language

Words: 2992

He couldn't understand why he felt dizzy, nauseous, sick whenever his eyes locked onto the pair of ceruleans. The second his acidic green stare would penetrate the glassy blues, his stomach would churn and twist in an uncomfortable sensation, as if his insides were melting, jittering, and boiling into a scorching battle.

Axel hated it to the extent of which a Nobody could hate. He couldn't stand it; it was maddening. He wanted to rip himself open and kill off whatever parasite was doing this to him.

It had almost been a month since the blond's introduction into Organization XIII, and partnership with Number 8. They had started off well; the duo trained with one another, the more experienced male not hesitating to show the rookie just how much pain he has to learn to inflict, as well as adapt to. He made sure to make his skills known by marking the blond's body all over, crimson trenches and streaks of fire decorating the keybearer like tattoos. Axel wanted to push Roxas to the limits with his brutal training, fighting and aggravating the younger boy to the point where he'd break down and collapse on his knees. But those limits never came, not with Roxas. Roxas could retaliate and attack with an unstoppable vehemence. This surprised the fire dancer—he had sparred with many of the other organization members, and majority of them could not keep up with his cruel flames, and his opponent would often return back to the castle limping and wickedly burnt. The blond was different, Axel had thought. This new addition was stubborn, that was positive. He'd rarely succumb to his wounds, the bloody gashes and scalding burns on his skin; instead, he'd clamber back up on his feet and strike again, blow after blow until Axel would administrate the decisive assault, or fall in submission at his heels.

They would dance their dance for hours on end, and the redhead eventually became obsessed with their daily ritual of cuts and burns, finding a refreshing release when they'd engage in a fiery battle, either between themselves or amongst a perilous throng of hungry heartless.

The exhilarating thrill Axel felt, however, suddenly morphed into an alien sensation when he had caught the blond smirking during their sessions. Glinting blue eyes were flashing in a light that made Axel's skin prick, turning his legs boneless and chakrams into boulders of lead.

He wouldn't abandon his partner, however, despite his strange sickness. He began feeling feverish, diseased even, whenever he spent more than five minutes with him. The blond would constantly ask what was wrong, and Axel would feign ignorance to his problem, brushing it off. They'd continue walking, talking, doing whatever it was they were doing, in their normal, passionless manner, but the taller male would often stop, turn away, and clench his stomach, reawakening the so called "fear" that Roxas always seemed to display.

Then, just a few hours ago, Roxas had gone so far as to touch Axel's clammy face when the man was struggling to keep himself from dying of hyperventilation. The inseparable duo had been heading in the direction of the Twilight Town Bell Tower when the blond had decided to take a visit to the town's new fountain.

The town's newest feature was moderate in size, blending in with the rest of the city in the orange glow of the forever setting sun. It wasn't outstanding, Axel told Roxas in a bored manner, and it wasn't, but Roxas insisted it was worth a look.

It's a wishing fountain, the blond told Axel, and citizens would often stop, make a wish, and throw in money in hopes of their silent desires being fulfilled.

"What would you wish for?" Number 13 asked. Axel struggled to answer as he fought the unsettling turning of his stomach.

"I dunno," the redhead had answered in a disinterested voice, "I'm a Nobody. I don't have anything to wish for or look forward to, really—aside from that Kingdom Hearts thing Xemnas has us losing arms and legs for." Deciding to play along with Roxas's little game, and to distract himself from his own quivering body, he reached into his coat pocket, pulling out a sparkling blue and gold bead and offering it to the boy beside him. "What would you wish for?"

The keyblade wielder didn't reply. Instead, he closed his eyes, remaining completely silent for several seconds before tossing the munny into the fountain. Axel watched as the bead shone in the gold light, green orbs following its decent until it plunged passed the small cascade of water from the fountain's flowing tip.

"For us to be friends." Green eyes snapped wide open, taking in the sight of the young male's fair face pulled into an apprehensive smile. A smile, not a leer, not a smirk, not a sneer—a smile.

Axel had almost collapsed into the fountain when he felt his insides explode in another reoccurring wave of the unfamiliar stirring. It was nothing, it was nothing, Axel groaned, swatting off the blond's pulls and tugs while backing away from both the boy and the fountain until his gloved hands found a wall to lean against. His head was throbbing, and every nerve under his skin tingled. Knowing the blond's stubbornness, he knew he wouldn't be fought off as easily. The older male panted, feeling something inside him race, making him light headed. He needed to find out what was happening to him. Axel was sure that he'd be eliminated from the Organization if his condition worsened, or if he physically broke down like this. Suppressing whatever was plaguing him was becoming harder and harder, especially with Roxas's presence.

When Roxas pulled Axel down so he was sitting limply against the wall, the shorter male descending to kneel in front of him, the redhead took one glimpse into the worried blues and felt a shiver strike his spine. Then the boy peeled off his gloves, mumbling something about a fever, and took the fire magician's face in his hands.

Axel started, bolted his head back, only to find himself grunting in pain when the back of his skull collided with the brick wall. Roxas didn't hesitate, and tried again. A furious flash ignited in Axel's green eyes, and the growl he emitted bounced off the alley's tall walls as he attempted to shove the blond away from him. The blond's agility was impeccable, however, and the boy managed to pin down the man's twitching arms and writhing body by straddling the man's legs and holding down his arms. Satisfied, he pressed his forehead against Axel's own, ignoring the man's curses completely.

The entire world spun out of control for Axel, and his breaths became hoarser and labored as the seconds ticked by. There was a pounding in his head and a ringing in his ears. His eyes were wide, but they only saw one thing: Roxas's blue eyes and his countenance that was furrowed in strict concentration. Fed up with the intimate proximity Roxas had managed to cover, and the sickening squirming in his abdomen, Axel succeeded in throwing off his partner and escaping into a dark portal, leaving the blond to fumble and follow.

Mind still spinning and skin still sticky with an unexplained sweat, Axel staggered into the dark streets of the World That Never Was, intent on getting back to the castle and locking himself away from the blond until he found out what was growing inside his body that continuously ate away at his sanity and health.

"Axel!"

He felt his muscles contract all at once, and he immediately summoned his chakrams to his hands. He shook off his petrifaction and turned around to hurl his flaming weapons towards the intruder.

There was a shrill clash of metal, and Axel's chakrams was sent flying in opposite directions. Roxas, with his gold and silver keyblade in hand, sped forward towards the redhead. There was a split second before the intimidating end of the keyblade came streaking down upon Axel's shoulder when the older of the two teleported himself behind the blond, evading a painful strike. Unfortunately for him, Roxas had anticipated as much and promptly spun around and landing a formidable blow on the redhead's side. Axel's gasping groan echoed through the dark city, the clumps of his shoes thudding against the cemented ground.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Roxas spat, walking in confident strides as he approached Axel. "Why the hell are you acting so freaking strange all the time??"

Recovering from the numbing slash, Axel called back his discarded weapons.

"As much as I want to tell you, Roxas," the redhead panted, unaware of the threatening shimmer that that flickered in his own eyes, "I have no goddamn clue!" Screaming, he plunged both his chakrams into the ground, and it was a matter of seconds before an impenetrable wall of fire surrounded to two, encasing the opponents in a circular arena.

"Axel, stop!" Roxas cried, just barely managing to dodge Axel's lunging body and menacing hits. The heat was incredible; Roxas was sure that there was fire constantly licking up the back of his neck. With an enraged cry, Axel launched his chakrams through the air, the dual weapons soaring with fiery tails towards the organization's youngest member.

Roxas managed to duck and roll from the spiked wheels, but looking up, was shocked to find Axel no where in front of him.

There was a brief hiss, and the crackle of snapping pebbles behind him, when Roxas realized his mistake.

Axel just imagined how much sting the blond suffered as his chakrams' talons dug themselves into the blond's back and shoulders. The ring of Roxas's agonized scream was melodious to the redhead's ears, and it was enough to enkindle the thrill he had experienced so many times before when sparring with the blond, except this time, the excitement was laced with the same fluttering malady that reaped his mind and body.

A howl escaped Axel's mouth when the hilt of Roxas's keyblade dug itself into the redhead's diaphragm. There wasn't enough time for Axel to recover his lost breath before quick slash of the keyblade created an impressive laceration in the chest of his black coat. Axel glanced down at his bloodied body, and felt lava pulsate through his muscles.

"Cut me, Roxas," he dared, leaping forward and attacking the boy once again. He hissed and winced, the singing of metals hitting one another rippling through the steady air, heated by the ascending falls of fire. "I said cut me, Roxas!" He commanded.

"You're goddamn crazy, Axel!" Roxas cried, countering an attack with a powerful up-strike of his keyblade before catapulting himself into the night sky

"You want to know what's wrong with me, don't you Roxas?" The redhead challenged, fingers twirling his weapons in his hands, "so rip me open—tear me apart!"

Axel followed Roxas's ascent into the air, and the two bodies danced with one another in the cold night sky. They twisted, whirled around one another, striking continuously and blocking perpetually as Axel struggled to tear open apart his being, wanting to set free that agitating parasite that had infected him; this was the only way to make it stop.

A brief shout from Roxas was enough to distract Axel, pulling him out of his minute trance but only to send him hurling downwards towards the earth when a particular blow paralyzed his entire body.

The older man's body bounced like a ragdoll on the floor, rolling and skidding across the scabrous surface before coming to a stop in a crumpled heap. Passed the pained ringing in his ears and the dying crackle of flames, he heard Roxas's boots hurry towards him. His limp body was flipped over and Axel's eyes opened to see Roxas towering over him, the keyblade lifted and held back in a stance that promised another strike.

"Do it, tear me apart—tear me to shreds."

The keyblade came down, along with the blond's wounded body. Green eyes snapped shut, anticipating a hit to his face, but merely twitched open again when the sound of metal struck the ground beside him. An open palm came down to rest on the man's chest, holding him down on the floor while a pair of legs caged the lanky being between them.

"The hell is wrong with you, Axel?" Axel heard the boy hiss, unable to stare into his eyes. He knew his body would react in the same violent manner as before if he were to look into those poisonous eyes again. "Look at me, you—"

Gloved hands came to forcefully maneuver Axel's gaze, directing his vision towards the pair of ceruleans. Axel felt his breath hitch.

"You," Axel said, in an almost inaudible volume.

"What do you mean, y—"

"You!" Axel growled, his hands surging to life and taking hold of the blond's neck and face, "you're what's wrong with me—it's you—it's you who's making me so goddamn sick!"

"I don't underst—"Roxas whimpered, trying to fight off the offending hands that were assaulting his jaw and throat.

Axel sat up, hands still holding onto Roxas's throat as his feral eyes attempted to burn right through the young boy's fair skin and golden tresses.

"Don't take me for an idiot, Roxas," Axel hissed venomously. He was tired of it—exhausted from the unknown feelings he'd been experiencing all month, fed up with dealing with the unexplainable fevers that haunted his dreams and had him waking from his slumber, dizzy, shivering, and sweating. "I don't know what you've done to me, but I hate it—I can't stand it—I can't stand you!"

Roxas stopped moving, eyes wide in confusion and hurt. The pain that clouded the perfect blue eyes struck something in Axel, and the taller male choked on his breath.

"Why didn't you finish me off, rookie?" Axel grunted, straying away from the blond's gaze, "I told you to tear me apart."

"Why the damn would I do that?" Roxas's voice, once again clear, confident, and powerful, struck back. "We're Nobodies; even if I do rip you open with my keyblade, what do you expect to find? A heart?" The boy just scoffed, breaking free from Axel's grip and getting back onto his feet. He wiped away a trail of blood from the corner of his lips, and Axel suddenly felt a pang of desire to lick off the crimson trails that marked their way down the shorter male's skin. "All you'll end up finding is a mess of your limbs on the ground. You can't out yourself out of the Organization that easily."

"You smiled at me." Axel said distantly, not meeting the blue eyes that stared down at him. "You smiled at me, and there's been a goddamn parasite festering in me, making me feel things I normally wouldn't. You're the cause of all this. You smiled at me—why would you?"

He only heard Roxas chuckle in disbelief. "Yeah, right." Roxas strode casually away from the man's sitting form. The darkened city was back to the way it had been just moments ago—dark, damp, and abandoned. The smell of ash and smoke clung to the air. "Listen," Roxas began, "You're pathetic, but you're my partner, my friend, not that you really care for such a label, I'm sure."

Axel looked up, scowling at the words, but not in anger.

"Nobodies only have one chance to live an existence they weren't meant to have. I could tear you apart whenever I want to, thanks to you, but what's the use if there isn't at least a heart for me to harvest?" Roxas turned away, staring up at the glowing buildings and letting out a shuddered sigh. "You say I'm the cause for your sickness, the cause for your feelings, and you tell me to rip open your bloody chest like it's my job to find out. No, that's yours. Do your own dirty work if you want to dabble in idiot thoughts like those. We're Nobodies, Axel. My smiles are empty, no matter what you are to me." He then turned back around, and stared hard into Axel's eyes. "I can't make you feel."

That last sentence was what pushed Axel into his own promise, an obligation that he created for himself. The man watched the blond disappear into the black portal, leaving the streets deserted aside from the redhead's lone form. The man was alone, and a part of him told him he actually felt alone as well. He reached up with a hand and placed his open palm on the left side of his chest, the same area that Roxas had pushed just moments before. It was still warm.

The bug didn't leave. No matter how many gashes he had received from Roxas tonight, the nameless disease still tormented him, tonight more so than ever. His stomach had fluttered in a butterfly sensation this time, his breath had quickened at the mere sight of his partner, and his neck had burned in a brilliant sensation, different from the heat from a fire. He figured, if what he wanted to find couldn't be found tonight, there will be another time, when he's destined to tear the remainder of his existence apart, shred the last of his being, and burn it away in flames in order to discover the reason—the reason that made him feel tonight.