Have you ever thought about killing yourself?
I have
It is amazing how one mistake can affect the way you feel for a long time.
But times change and you have to suck it up and move on.
I am sixteen years old and sometimes I feel like I am a 30 year old.
I go to a very prestigious boarding school, I am on the cheerleading squad there(no, I'm not one of those cheerleaders, I just like it), and I have to deal with being a female teenager.
BOYS BOYS BOYS! Basically they suck
My best friends are Rose and Alice. They are great, but they only know the Bella that they see. They have no idea what goes through my head on a daily basis. There is only one person that could guess that, Edward. Edward and I used to have a thing. We didn't exactly date but we definitely were more than friends.
Right now we are just friends, awkward friends.
Then there is Emmett and Jasper. They are like the brothers I never had.
They protect me from everything.
My boyfriend, Eric and I just started dating a month a go and I think he is amazing. He is absolutely gorgeous and so sweet.
Suddenly a knock on my door pulled me out of my thoughts *knock knock*
I grudgingly got off my bed and pulled my door open, a little annoyed.
There on the other side of the door was standing my own god!
"Hey" he smiled widely at me
I laughed, "I didn't expect you".
"Well then it wouldn't of been spontaneous, would it of?" he said
"No I guess not" I laughed "coming in?"
"Of course" he smirked
"So what are we going to do tonight?" I asked as he wrapped his arms around me
"Well what is everyone else doing?" he asked curiously
"Hmm... ill call Alice!" I exclaimed, he laughed
I typed the familiar number in to my phone and after three rings she picked up "hello?"
"Hey Alice, what are we doing tonight?"
"Well I was thinking that we could go out to dinner and then watch a movie at Emmett's place" she told me
"Sounds good to me, I'm bringing Eric along" I informed her
"Okay..." she said hesitantly
"Is that okay?" that was weird, Alice always acted like she liked Eric
"Well its just that Edward is going to be there"
"Ohh well I don't care" I really didn't, actually I liked it, he could see what he is missing out on
"He is bringing Tanya" that hit me hard. I don't know why I even care though, I had him once but I messed up
"Alright well we are going to get ready, see you in 30 minutes"
"Bye Bella"
"Bye Alice" I laughed
I turned around to see Eric with his shirt off changing
I blushed and looked down when I saw him
"Sorry" he said when he noticed me staring
I just smiled at him and shrugged it off
"You know I really missed you" he told me
"I really missed you too" he cocked an eyebrow as he leant down to kiss me
He pressed his soft lips against mine and I pulled my arms around his neck so it could last forever! God, his kisses were amazing!
He laughed and pulled away.
"Come on, lets get ready" he tugged on my arm
"No, I like this better" I stood on my tip toes to read his jaw, which I gave a quick but sweet kiss
"Alright, you look beautiful anyway" I blushed as he told me this. He was the sweetest person ever.
********
"Okay okay, I'm coming" I yelled back at him.
"Well you did take forever" I rolled my eyes at his exaggeration
"Yeah well let's go" he kissed my cheek and took my hand and we started to walk to the restaurant