Maybe before his mother died. If he thinks hard enough he can almost remember. He's long since forgotten her face, after all.
It started soon after that. He doesn't know exactly when. John hits him for the first time in his life when he's five years old. He used to tell himself it was because of the alcohol and her death. The Itch taught him otherwise.
He is five and his cheeks are stained with tears. He is five and his cheek is hot with pain. He is five and his cheek begins to Itch.
He is fourteen when he goes on his first hunt. John tells him it's a vampire and his spine fills with fear. He sits alone in the impala, surrounded by darkness and frost. John brings the vampire out into the field and shoves it to kneel on the hard ground for him. He takes the machete and hacks it's head off in one, three, five swings. The head thuds against the ground. He's covered in blood.
He is fourteen and he can taste copper in his mouth. He is fourteen and his freezing fingers burn as they grip the machete. He is fourteen and his hands begin to Itch.
He is twenty two when Sam gets his acceptance letter. He feels his stomach sink as his brother reads it aloud to him. There's excitement in Sam's voice. There's anger in his bones. He feels like vomiting when Sam looks at him, finished. He smiles, hoping his baby brother mistakes his rage for pride. He does.
He is twenty two and he can feel anger burn in his heart. He is twenty two and he tightens his knuckles as fury fills his hands. He is twenty two and his chest begins to Itch.
He is twenty nine when hellhounds rip his body to pieces. He wakes up to black eyes and a rusted knife tearing his stomach open. Alastair says he knows about the Itch. Alastair says if he scratches the Itch, he will feel so much better. The air in hell is always heavy and thick. Their blood is thicker.
He is twenty nine and his palm cools when he takes the blade. He is twenty nine and something happens when he rips the first soul apart. He is twenty nine and his hands do not Itch.
He is thirty two when he gets sent to the dark, misty forest that he comes to call purgatory. He meets his blood brother, Benny, there. Together they fight with rocks and bare bones. All he does is survive. He has never felt so pure or so raw.
He is thirty two and his weapon becomes an extension of his arm. He is thirty two and he can feel his bones vibrate when he slices skin. He is thirty two and the Itch grows stronger.
He is thirty five when he dies again. When he opens his eyes, there's a new Itch in his body. His eyes are black and his soul is even blacker. His forearm glows with angry red power. He's holding a blade that whispers to him from the depths of Hell.
He is thirty five and he has power coursing through his body. He is thirty five and he is invincible. He is thirty five and the Itch is becoming him.
He is thirty seven when he sees his brother for the last time. For years, there has been an Itch in his hands for this. The blade sinks into his baby brother's stomach and he sighs as his eyes go black. His boots pummel his brother's body and a guttural laugh escapes his lips as screams escape Sam's.
He is thirty seven and he kills his brother. He is thirty seven and he is covered in blood. He is thirty seven and the Itch has not gone away.
He is thirty eight when he can not stand the Itch any longer. The Itch did not leave after Sam. The Itch did not leave after the countless people and monsters. The Itch did not ever leave. The Itch grows stronger each day, each murder.
He is thirty eight when his veins begin to Itch. He is thirty eight when he cuts them open and lets it flow out of him with his blood. He is thirty eight when the Itch finally stops.