I'm A Monster

It was a dark and stormy day, a sight rare to Scourge. His ears flicked, paws making a 'click-clack' and the occasional 'scratch' sounds, due to the dog claws that replaced his tiny ones. He frowned slightly, hating the fact he was so tiny, that his own claws were so tiny. He looked around, eyes narrowed and menacing, glaring at everything he saw. He was back to where it all started, the place he escaped. The Hellish nightmare that led him into an even darker Hell than he had imagined, the Hell that had become his life. He glowered at the hole in the fence; the one that allowed him to escape, the hole that leads to the place he had called home once upon a time.

'Home. Feh. More like my reoccurring nightmare.'Scourge thought, sneering at the hole.'Socks and Ruby are lucky to have been born normal. Not small like poor me... Me, the one they always picked on because I was so small. They were loved by everyone, including mom. I was never given the light of day, nor the light of night. Mom never really helped me. In fact, I think she made things WORSE for me... Mother's were supposed to love all their children, no matter what. But no, not MINE.'He thought, his eyes darkening like the night, and becoming as hard as stones.

He slowly crept towards the hole he has approached so many times, careful to not make a single sound, trying to be as silent as the night.'Why do I still visit this place? This nightmare? No one cared about me... They never looked for me after I officially escaped. They just assumed I died because of the blood, and gave up automatically. But yet, I still check up on them. My brain is sure as Hell not leading me. Is it my heart?... Feh. What heart do I have? I have an ice block, not a heart.'

He squeezed through the hole, slightly disappointed to see he still fit through that hole, even after all these moons of battling. He knew better than to complain, though- he now finds his small size a great advantage in battle, and he knew there was nothing anybody could do to make him bigger. He looked around, staying in the bushes. The same old two-leg scent filled the air, same old sounds of birds chirping and cats who lived in the houses yowling and screeching to be let outside. He also smelt the familiar scent of his mother, mixed with the surprisingly fresh scent of his brother and sister; two scents he never wanted to smell again.

'They must have came to visit mother recently. Hmph... I'm surprised they visited her after all these moons. A little late for visiting, if you ask me. Ah, well. Who am I to judge that? Anyways, as long as I don't see them, I'll be fine. I don't need them seeing how strong I've become! They don't deserve to see!'He thought, grinning menacingly.

'No... You just don't want them to see the monster you've become, Tiny. The monster you allowed in your soul. You do not have strength, little cat. You have a murderous soul now. Your pure, childish soul has become corrupted by your hatred.'

Scourge narrowed his eyes, growling softly to himself.'That voice again! I swear, I'm going crazy...'He thought, shaking his head furiously.'And I am strong! I have defeated dogs and cats alike! I have stroke fear into many, and have never been defeated! I have a clan supporting me! Is that not strength!?'

'No, it is not. You defeated one dog by making it get ran over, by being a coward and running across the road. The other dogs you encountered noticed the claws, and stopped in disbelief. They were in disbelief you had messed with a dogs dead body, one thing no one EVER does. Same with the cats you have faced. They weren't afraid- They were disgusted by you! Disgusted by the fact any cat would dare mess with an animals dead body, even one that they didn't like! They didn't want to battle some cat so disturbed to do that. Those alley cats you call a 'clan' only stay with you because they need food, and you offer it. They don't 'support' you. They think you're a monster! Because you are one! You're just a monster! Stop denying the truth, little cat! You can't hide from it forever!'

'I AM NOT A MONSTER! STOP-'Scourge had started yelling at the voice, but was cut off by an actual voice started speaking to him."T-tiny?"His mother asked quietly, surprised to see her youngest child was still alive.

Scourge was in rage from being called a monster, from being told he was still weak, so he didn't think about what he was doing. He looked at his mother, only seeing red, and only feeling rage. He only thought about his rage, and about killing anything around him."T-tiny? Wha-what are you d-doing? N-no! W-wait! D-don-"His mother's pleading was cut off as he stroke viciously, tearing her to shreds. Her agonized screeches and yowls were loud, but no one heard them. They all ignored it, like they had ignored Tiny. Soon, the yowls and screeches went down to just gurgling sounds, and then... Nothing. She was gone. All that was left of Scourge's mother was a mess of shredded fur and torn organs, bathing themselves in a puddle of blood.

The red left from Scourge eyes soon after, and horror replaced the red once he saw the lump he left. He recognized the lump of organs and fur by smell, and the realization of what he had done hit him like a ton of bricks; as hard as anything could hit him. He may have thought he had no heart, but he never realized he still loved his mother, even after all the pain he was put through- never realized that hidden love until he saw what he had done. He looked at his paws; they were stained red with blood, his mothers blood. Blood of his kin. He stumbled backwards, falling down. He quickly got up, and ran away, leaving bloody paw prints.

'The voice is right... I'm not strong. Not at all! No... I'm disgusting, a disgrace. I've done something a cat should never do... I killed my own kin... I've disobeyed my own set of morals.. I can't forgive myself... I can't keep lying to myself... The voice has always been telling the truth... Since the beginning... And now, I can't deny the simple fact...

'I'm a MONSTER!'

A/N: Me and my tragic/sad/angst writing. I need to be more optimistic... But that's not fun. And I need to proofread better e.e

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