This is set just after new earth but before tooth and claw... it is completely humour
and was made for mostly my enjoyment. If you like it too that's just a bonus. This is my first "fic" ever so please feel free to correct me in any way. I don't even mind flames. It's all good.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor who and I never will much to my disappointment.
The only thing I own is the plot of this story and nothing else. Soooo, DON'T SUE ME!
/
It had started as a completely ordinary day (if you could even call it a day,let alone ordinary) in the TARDIS. It had been roughly twelve hours since they had left new earth and it's new species of human. The first of those twelve hours had consisted of awkward glances and fruitless distractions... then Rose had gone to bed. It had been eleven hours,nineteen minutes and six seconds ago that rose had retired to her room.
That was eleven hours, nineteen minutes and seven seconds now that the doctor had been left to his own devices... and he was bored.
Normally when Rose was sleeping the Doctor would amuse himself with pointless tinkering within the TARDIS' console. That or read... or cook( he could make quite a good banana pudding if he managed to concentrate long enough on something so domestic,usually only because the pudding was nearly always worth it in the end). On occasion he would even sleep. However today was different. For once in his entire life,which was quite long mind you, his thoughts were on one thing and one thing only. Rose. The feel of her lips against his refused to leave. The heat of her warm body against hi- NO BAD THOUGHTS DOCTOR,BAD THOUGHTS! Never before had he been unable to think coherently simply from a kiss. A KISS! God, he felt like the time lord equivalent of a teenager. Even if at the time it was Cassandra, it still felt gre- NO,IT FELT HORRIBLE, NOT GREAT AT ALL!
So the Doctor did the only thing he could think of. He went exploring. He had been wandering aimlessly for around an hour now. Searching for nothing in particular. The TARDIS liked to pull pranks on him during these long nights. Misplacing his favourite books, shuffling the rooms around when he needed to go to the bathroom,that sort of stuff. Yet, The Doctor had long given up on doing something productive. He had even succeeded in sleeping for around fifteen minutes. He would've slept longer had he had less pleasant dreams. Dreaming of Rose and bananas wasn't exactly good for his health... if Jackie found out. He shuddered at the thought. "BAD THOUGHTS BAD, SHE'S ONLY NINETEEN YOU PERVERTED OLD MAN!" the Doctor mentally scolded himself.
He opened a door to his right. And much to his delight was his room full of everlasting Bananas. Sadly the moment he went to eat one, his mind flashed to his very "bad" dream... the Doctor suddenly found himself quite uncomfortable and was forced to leave the room.
Still he journeyed on. Leaving his desire for bananas and perhaps something else in that god damned room. Opening doors at random, sometimes going inside a room, sometimes slamming a door shut. One room had a lion in it( how it got there he had no idea). It was only upon stumbling across a room with steam slowly wafting out the small crack at the bottom of the door that he was intrigued. It was an act of reflex that he slammed the door open... upon taking in the room he froze.
For standing before him was Rose... a very wet,dripping, towel clad Rose(obviously just out of the shower). His shocked eyes followed a water droplet slide down her soft neck and in between her unfortunately covered brea- NO NOT AGAIN,STOP THAT, BAD, BAD THOUGHTS! That uncomfortable feeling of tightness returned only tenfold. The doctor did the only thing he could think of.
He slapped a hand over his eyes and turned around. A red tinge crept up his face and he nearly whimpered.
" Rose, I'm so sorry. I'll just... ummm... you see... BYE!" It was with those parting words that the Doctor left the room. Hitting his foot on the side of the door in the process. As he ran down the hallway he could hear one word.
"DOCTOR!"
He didn't care. In fact he showed no signs of having heard her. The Doctor just ran, as far away as he could, as fast as he could. It was five minutes later,whilst recovering in the console room that he had a startling thought. What if Jack found out... he'd never hear the end of it... the Doctor paled... he'd forgotten about,gulp, Jackie. If she found out he'd be dead. Death by Tyler slap. No chance for regenerating... even if he did she'd just kill him again. And again. The Doctor tried to calm down... Jackie couldn't find out. Not unless Rose told her. Simple. Never go back to earth again. Rose could just ring Jackie every couple of years, let her now she was alive... CRAP. The phone... Rose had her phone... she could tell Jackie,it was probably too late, he was doomed. She'd find him. No matter where he ran Jackie Tyler would find him. For such was the wrath of an angry mother...
it was with that thought that the Doctor ran back the way he came, after all, there was still a chance, she might not know yet, he had to hurry... one sentence could be heard echoing throughout the TARDIS...
" ROSE, GIVE ME YOUR PHONE RIGHT NOW!"
Sure, Jackie would find him. Eventually.
/
Wow. That sounded better In my head. Still, I had a laugh. If you did too please review... hey that rhymed. Anyway. Hope you enjoyed. If enough people like it I might write a series...