Disclaimer: Unfortunately, none of it's mine. Merlin is copyright to the BBC and the song Come Home is owned by One Republic; I'm making no profit from this story, it's simply for my own enjoyment.
Character(s): Merlin, Arthur.
Summary: Merlin's not home and Arthur misses him. AU. WARNING: Slash. Boy/boy love; don't like, don't read.
*****
...There's someone I've been missing
I think they could be
The better half of me
...Come home, come home
'Cause I've been waiting for you
...The fight for you is all I've ever known
So come home...
Camelot was unusually quiet at midday of the summer solstice. For as long as Arthur could remember this had been a time of great celebration. The nobles and peasants of Camelot alike would participate in the celebrations of the sun; a buzz of excitement was present in the entire city in the run up to the festivals. King Uther made them magnificent, seemingly better every year, until his death after which time King Arthur took it upon himself to go above and beyond his father's efforts.
This year was different. The sun was shining, the citizens were prosperous and Camelot had a strong and courageous King... but a key aspect was missing: Merlin. He wasn't in the castle.
When Merlin had told Arthur of his magical powers, 4 months after Uther's death, Arthur was hurt. He felt betrayed by the man he had fought so hard for. Convincing Uther of their love was exceptionally hard; far harder than Merlin could stand at one point. Uther had reacted far worse than either of them predicted and thrown Merlin in the dungeons, awaiting punishment. When Arthur had released his lover, Merlin was afraid. He had fled the city back to his aging mother in Ealdor, hoping to avoid Arthur altogether.
It was only when Arthur had abandoned Camelot to chase Merlin that Uther had considered his son truly understood his own feelings and had permitted Merlin's return to the city without fear of prosecution. Yet now, he was gone again.
On his deathbed, old and losing a long battle with illness, Uther had gazed up at his son and his servant/lover beside him.
"Be a good King, Arthur," he managed out with his voice little more than a rasp. "I wish you only happiness."
With the little strength he had left, Uther lifted his bone thin arm up to pat Merlin gently, gracing the man with the first true smile he had ever received from the King. Arthur cried, and he was not ashamed of it. His father's final act was to bestow his blessing on his love and it meant more than Arthur could ever put into words.
From that day onwards, Arthur and Merlin were no longer a secret. Gaius and Gwen had known all along, of course, and Lancelot was soon in the know when he returned to Camelot in order to ask Gwen to marry him.
That had increased the good mood of Camelot. Sir Lancelot and Lady Guinevere married on winter solstice. Hearing their vows to each other, Merlin was torn.
"I will honour, trust and cherish you..."
He did trust Arthur, but the King had yet to allow magic back into the kingdom. He was still ruling by his father's ideals. Yet, how did he expect Arthur to return the trust when Merlin did not trust him with his greatest secret.
It was a quiet autumn afternoon when Merlin had requested an audience with Arthur. Arthur watched the man stumbled over his words repeatedly in the throne room with a mildly amused expression before he caught Merlin's flailing hand in his own and smiled gently.
"Come with me," he instructed. Merlin didn't argue, he allowed the royal to lead him by the hand away from the castle. Everyone took notice as the King and his newly appointed advisor walked away towards the hills, hoping for peace and quiet. Merlin was nervous the entire way there; Arthur had to push him to get him to sit on the ground.
"Merlin, what in the world is wrong with you? You more clumsy today than usual, and that's rather worrying," he teased. When Merlin didn't crack a smile, Arthur's faded into a frown. "Really, what's going on?"
"Arthur, I have something important to tell you. But... I hope you won't think any differently of me. I don't want you to think I kept this from you because I don't trust you... I do, I was just scared."
"Merlin, stop rambling and tell me. Who's declared war on Camelot because of you? Udovic?"
"No, no. Arthur..." Merlin took a deep steadying breath as he felt his heartbeat become erratic and his throat dry out. "Arthur, I have magic."
"Very good, Merlin. Very good. You worried me that much for the purpose of improving your jokes? You need to work at them more," he informed, standing up from the grass and brushing off his cloak.
"Arthur, it's not a joke," he assured, still not moving from his spot. The King raised his eyebrow but continued to walk away. Merlin raised his hand slightly, stopping Arthur in his tracks as the tree in front of him burst into flames. He turned sharply to Merlin.
"Did you do that?"
Merlin twitched his hand again and the flames died down, leaving the tree unharmed. "Arthur..."
Despite Merlin's attempts at an explanation, Arthur backed away. His mouth opened and closed many times, leaving the King looking as inarticulate as Merlin had ever seen him. "You... you lied to me."
"No!" Merlin replied desperately. "Arthur, I didn't lie to you, I just didn't tell you the entire truth. Please you have to listen to me. I never meant to hurt you."
"You've betrayed me."
Arthur's visage had lost all colour as he stared at the man he believed he loved. "Arthur-" Merlin began again, but was cut off by Arthur drawing his sword from its hilt.
"Don't come near me," he warned. Turning sharply, Arthur continued back up to the castle, leaving a crushed Merlin in the hills.
*****
When Merlin fled Camelot again that night, he hoped for it to remind Arthur of the night their love had been accepted; he hoped Arthur would chase him again.
This time, Lancelot was the only man who arrived in Ealdor four days later to find Merlin sobbing in his mother's house, the elderly woman comforting her son as best as she could.
Merlin looked up quickly, wiping his eyes. "Lancelot," he whispered.
"Ah, Merlin, what are you doing? Why did you leave Camelot?"
"Arthur can't stand my presence. I've let him down..."
"No. Arthur loves you and you love Arthur. The two of you are the different sides of each other. As much as you may have hurt Arthur by not telling him, you could never erase what he feels for you. The King has spent the majority of the past four days locked in his chambers. He misses you."
Merlin felt the unshed tears stinging in his eyes and turned back to his mother who gave him an encouraging smile. "It's what I've always told you, my boy. You're destined for each other."
Merlin took a deep, steadying breath and stood, clasping Lancelot's hand. "I'm coming back with you."
*****
The return to Camelot was tense. Merlin was half excited to see Arthur again and half terrified of what his reaction would be. What he was not expecting was Arthur to grab him in a tight hug as soon as he made his way through the throne room and order all of the knights to leave immediately.
"I... I thought you'd kill me," Merlin choked out, honestly.
"Kill you? Then who on Earth would keep me entertained, Merlin? I admit I was... shocked when you told me, and understandably angry, though you seem to forget, I am not my father. I do not harbour his hatred for magic. I was not angry that you possess magic, just that you did not tell me. How long have we known each other Merlin? Over ten years and you didn't trust me enough with your secret."
"I didn't not trust you, Arthur. I just... I was afraid."
"You needn't have been. I..." Arthur apparently couldn't put his feelings into words. Instead, he crashed his lips down on Merlin's, saying everything that needed to be said.
*****
From that point onwards, Merlin never left Camelot again without Arthur. The two become virtually inseparable. Merlin rose to heights he couldn't have imagined when he became the court's resident sorcerer as soon as Arthur legalised magic. Gaius was allowed to pass on to the next life peacefully; his jobs were cut back on drastically during the last five years of his life. There was not much need for a physician when Merlin could cure anyone with a few words.
Each summer solstice had a greater celebration than the year before, with Merlin performing some particularly amazing stunts on the night. Because of this, the shock of there being an eerie silence on the day of the solstice was even more unnerving to the people of Camelot. With the Lady Morgana's return to the city three days before, everyone assumed that an even grander festival would follow.
With no Merlin in the castle, Arthur had no inclination to celebrate. Celebrate the absence of his love?
This time, both Lancelot and Arthur rode out to him, Arthur's heart breaking over again with every gallop his horse took.
The hills were deserted and quiet when the two of them arrived. The tree that had been 'burned' by Merlin seven years before granted shade to a small area of shade to the underlying spot. Arthur felt the combination of grief and rage mix inside his heart; if he was not certain that Morgana had already left, he would have killed her himself, regardless of whatever powers she possessed. He didn't understand how the woman he had considered a sister could defeat the man he considered his soul mate. Merlin was always so... strong. Watching him be strewn down by a woman he trusted hurt far more than he thought anything could hurt in the world.
Lancelot rested a comforting hand on Arthur's shoulder as the king bent down to touch the memorial plaque he had ordered to be laid in that very spot. He knew it was what Merlin would have wanted.
Arthur cried out that night for Merlin both during his waking hours and in his dreams. He needed his love to come home, yet he knew it would never be.
Winter solstice was never again celebrated under King Arthur's reign.
*****
A/N: I'm not entirely sure about that. It's my first attempt at a Merlin fanfic so please forgive me if it's atrocious. I'd love reviews to let me know what's good and what I can improve on. Thanks!
