Author: cara410 aka therealcaramel aka lise23 aka aChlollieFan (my other ffnet account)
Title: Just This
Rating: T but probably M in the future chapters.
Summary: What if they weren't really meant for each other? But there is no if... Just this.
Warnings: Totally AU but based on all the seasons of SV. Starts as a Chlark/Lollie fic. Lots of Lex, Clex and Chlex (friendship of course) :D I love Lex so don't expect him to be evil. Let's blame everything on the MB. Also, I like Jimmy Olsen (I don't care about Failsday, he'll always be Jimmy) and Lana Lang. So I won't be one to bash them, even if I think Lois and Oliver are better for Clark and Chloe.
Special AN: I want to thank Ladybelle and Alexandra/Sil for their encouragement. I wouldn't have posted this fic if not for their kind words. Also a huge thanks to Nivea who agreed to make me a banner for this fic. And to my sister with whom I'd planned this fic a few years ago.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The title/theme of this fic was inspired by a The Cure song, There Is No If.
Chloe rolled her eyes at the familiar whoosh of air. She actually had to resist the urge to turn around and tell him exactly what she thought of his recklessness. To think that he had just supersped into a room full of fellow reporters. She shook her head and looked hard at her computer screen, waiting for him to make his presence known.
"Chloe," he exclaimed.
Well, at least, she didn't have to wait long.
Breathing in, she took a few seconds to compose herself. After all, she had no concrete reason to be annoyed at him. He wasn't supposed to know that she knew. He had chosen to keep his 'secret' from her and in return, she had chosen to keep the fact that she had accidentally learned about his 'secret' from him.
She figured that it was only fair.
She understood his reasons for keeping her in the dark. He had that huge hero complex; wanted to save and protect everyone he cared about. He probably didn't want to put her into harm's way – not any more than what she put herself into - and that was honorable and so very Clark Kent.
However, a little part of her, the part that suspected Clark would never have seen her hadn't Lana left for France, well, that part really wanted him to make the conscious decision to trust her.
Because love without trust wasn't really love, right?
Yet, in spite of her insecurities, she had decided to put him first; to give him time to realise that she would always be there for him.
She really loved him. He was definitely worth the wait.
She would never pressure him into telling her but to be able to be forever cleared of her doubts, she really needed him to come to the realization that he could fully trust her.
Turning around on her chair, she did her best to return the smile she had heard in his voice. She didn't have to fake it for long when she took notice of the steaming cup of coffee in his right hand and a bouquet of tulips in the other.
"Are these for me?" she asked, suddenly feeling better after her internal monologue.
"For who else?" he replied with a grin, walking towards her to hand her the cup ."Almond mocha."
She grinned back at him as she took the cup from his hand.
"Is this why you're late for work?" she asked, before taking a sip. "Perry has been looking for you for half an hour now. He's waiting for you in his office. Seems like he wants to run the story on the Green Arrow…"
She took another sip and looked up at him as she waited for his answer. As far as she knew, there had been no critical situation requiring The Blur's intervention in Metropolis. If there had been, The Daily Planet would already have sent someone to cover the story. Maybe he was really late because he had wanted to buy her flowers, and her favourite cup of coffee.
He shrugged unabashedly. "Well, Perry can wait. Because of him, my girlfriend is leaving to Star City in about," pausing, he looked at his watch, "four hours. I wanted her to know that I really care… before she departs and spends the next two weeks away from me."
"Well, thank you, Clark," she replied, chuckling at his unusual behaviour. "Your girl is feeling very appreciated and she'll miss you too."
"Chloe, j-just remember this," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, as if hesitating to tell her what he really had on his mind. Finally, he leant down towards her, and placed the flowers on her desk.
She could only stare at him, eyes on his face, gaze moving nervously from his eyes to his lips. He was never one for PDAs. He really liked to blend in, especially at the Daily Planet. Kissing her was therefore something he never initiated at work. And she understood him completely.
This time though, he slowly lowered his head, until his face was only a few inches away from hers. He didn't seem to think of what he was doing… Surely, he would have known that that would bring him to the centre of attention, wouldn't he?
Yet, he softly pressed his lips against hers, and after a few seconds, pried her mouth open to deepen the kiss. She didn't try to push him away. Why would she? She kissed him back with the same fervour and grinned against his lips when she heard Jeff, one of the copy boys, whistle before shouting a very loud, 'Go Kent!'
That made Clark pull back immediately and in an instant, gone was the confident man who had just taken her breath away. In his place was the lovely and less secure farm boy, looking around and blushing profusely before nodding awkwardly at the copy boy.
"Huh," she uttered breathlessly, not really understanding why this had just happened. She briefly wondered if he was under the effect of some kind of meteorite (she knew he had an unusual behaviour around the red rocks), but shook the thought away almost instantly.
No, Clark Kent was fully himself when he kissed her.
She lifted her eyes to look at him. He was staring at her, a small apologetic smile tugging at his lips. But the intense look in his eyes told another story.
"When you're in Star City, spending those two weeks with Oliver Queen," he started suddenly with quite a surprising calmness as he brushed a strand of hair behind her ear, "Remember that you have a boyfriend waiting for you at home, Chloe."
It took her a few seconds to fully process what he just said, and when she finally did, her jaw literally dropped.
He couldn't be…
"What?" he asked, looking surprised at her reaction.
"Clark, are you jealous of Oliver Queen?" she managed to ask amidst chuckles.
When he looked away, she realized that he was serious.
"Green doesn't suit you, Clark," she said, hoping to lighten the mood.
"You can't blame me, Chlo," he replied, a hint of defensiveness in his voice. "Calling Perry and offering The Daily Planet an 'exclusive inclusion in the daily life of Oliver Queen' was already fishy enough, but specifically requesting for you to write the story…" he trailed, and looked straight in her eyes, as if willing her to understand his point of view. When she didn't comment, he continued, "He's got a hidden agenda, Chloe. I thought you'd realize this and reject his offer. You're already the best reporter of The Daily Planet. You don't need this article to prove it."
Biting her lower lip, she frowned. She had counted on Clark being his usual clueless self, not to suddenly show so much insight. Then again, that had probably been wishful thinking on her part. Clark hadn't been his 'usual' clueless self for years now. He had opened his eyes to her, hadn't he? To his gift as well. He had become an icon of heroism and hope in Metropolis. She sighed.
She had promised Lois not to say anything to anyone but…
"Clark," she started, lowering her voice. "This was all Lois's idea. She's dating him."
She watched him as his eyes widened in shock. The Billionaire and the Army Brat. She had reacted the same way to the news, but she decided not to comment on it. She was saving the details of the love story for her article, anyway. Instead, she elaborated on Lois's role in all of this.
"We haven't seen each other since my come back from the dead three years ago. She claims my work is taking over my life," Clark was about to interrupt her when she mock-glared at him. She knew what he was going to say. Well, it wasn't her fault if her thirst for truth and justice could never be quenched.
Taking a breath, she continued. "When I declined her suggestion to take a break, she found a way to force my hand. I'm only flying back to Star City with Oliver Queen. I've prepared an interview and I'll hopefully get him to answer some of my questions on the plane but that's it. As soon as we land, it'll be cousin time and no more Oliver Queen. Think of it as paid vacations with my cousin... When I come back, I'll have an exclusive article on how the star reporter of the Star City Gazette captured the heart of the elusive billionaire."
She watched as a series of emotions flickered upon Clark's face. Shock to understanding, before setting to admiration.
"Ingenious," he simply stated, eyes still wide but all trace of jealousy erased from his face.
She shrugged and said with a smirk, "It runs in the family."
"I can see that," he agreed. "Remind me to thank your cousin the next time she's in Metropolis. Because she's right. If anyone needs a break, it's you."
She frowned at him.
"I knew you'd side with her," she said lightly, then continued more seriously, "no one can know about this, Clark. I promised Lois I wouldn't tell anyone about them until the article is published."
Clark nodded in understanding and made a sign of zipping his mouth shut. "You know I won't tell anyone."
Her face softened and she took one of his hands in hers.
"You're no longer worried, right?" she asked, unconsciously moving her thumb to rub the back of his hand.
When he shook his head, her smile brightened.
"I'm always worried when you're not next to me, Chlo. But at least, now, I know that the billionaire won't be hitting on my girlfriend."
She wanted to ask him why he had even considered it a possibility, when he himself hadn't noticed her before Lana's departure, but ultimately she decided to keep her mouth shut.
Clark had chosen her because he loved her. She was not the rebound girl. Clark Kent loved Chloe Sullivan.
Didn't he?
"Well, I'm glad I've been able to confide in you, Clark," she eventually replied, knowing that it would probably not mean anything. "I hate keeping things from you and this was just eating me inside. After all, if there's anyone I can really trust, it's you. It's always been you."
She watched as Clark let out a sigh and he quickly averted his eyes to avoid her gaze.
"Yeah, I –I trust you too, Chloe," he quickly said.
Well, not enough, apparently.
She smiled, a sad and bitter smile, and forced herself to remember that she would wait. She would not become someone who would force him to reveal his secret. She could wait for him to be ready to trust her. She really could.
Ignoring the sudden disappointment she felt, she turned her smile into a real one.
"I guess I'll see you in two weeks then," she said, a hint of humour in her voice. "Now, shoo! Perry's still waiting for you in his office and I need to be at QI's private airport in about three hours."
She was turning around on her chair to face her computer screen again when Clark stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
"Wait, Chloe, before you leave, would you mind being my personal cheat sheet, just this once? What's the deal with Star City's Green vigilante?" he asked.
"Green Arrow is a hero, Clark. With questionable methods, but a hero nonetheless."
Clark shook his head at her but didn't interrupt her, and truthfully, she was grateful, both for his lack of interruption and for the change of subject.
"Jimmy," she started then paused at his change of expression. "What now?"
"Your ex?" he asked, barely stopping the frown pulling at his lips.
It was her time to shake her head at him. "My friend and colleague," she rectified,"Jimmy was photographing the lunar eclipse last night, but he also accidentally took a shot of Green Arrow jumping from the top of a building. He showed it to Perry who now wants to print a story about his presence in The Blur's arena."
Clark nodded and prompted her to continue.
"Actually, that's about it."
By what she was seeing, she could guess that Green Arrow hadn't been caught running around Metropolis by The Blur. Was Clark upset about that?
"So," he eventually commented after a while, "I get to write articles about the Green Arrow and you get to write about Oliver Queen. I guess you really got the short end of the stick this time, Sullivan."
"Aww, you're just being mean, Kent. Remember," she said in a whisper, "two weeks of paid 'vacation'. I wouldn't call my stick short."
He grinned at her before leaning down and pressing a swift kiss to her lips.
"I love you, Chlo," he whispered against her lips.
He pulled back immediately, eyes wide as if he hadn't planned on telling her this. She was mirroring his surprise. While they had been dating for quite some time now, she hadn't expected him to tell her this. Hadn't wanted him to. At least, not now. Because she couldn't possible return his words, despite being desperately in love with him. Not when she knew that their whole relationship was based on lies.
Her heart was pounding against her chest, erratically, matching her current state of mind. Did this mean that he was satisfied with the current state of their relationship? Did it mean that he was satisfied with her not knowing the truth? With having to lie to her constantly?
She took a deep breath and looked at him. Really looked at him. She loved this man. Had been loving him since she had first met him. And she now knew that he loved her too…
But could she really live with this kind of love? Love without trust?
"I…"she started, not really knowing what she was going to say. He was looking at her expectantly and she suddenly felt somewhat pressured into returning his words. After all, she loved him too, didn't she?
She opened her mouth when -
"Kent. In my office. NOW!"
Clark smiled down at her. It was a small unsure smile, holding promise… Of what? She wasn't sure.
She smiled back and waved at him as he started to turn around.
"I'll see you in two weeks, Chloe," he promised.
"Yeah, two weeks."
As she watched him walk towards Perry's office, she suddenly felt very glad to be leaving in a few hours. At least, she would have the time to think things over. If thinking failed, shopping or getting drunk with her cousin would surely do the trick.
SSSSSSSSSSS
"Why am I doing this again?" Oliver Queen asked teasingly, phone next to his ear. He was leaning against the leather of his seat, looking through the plane window, at the runway, when he saw his limo stop a few meters from the plane. A blonde woman got out. He had never met her and couldn't really make out her features but he smiled. Chloe Sullivan had finally arrived.
"Hmm," Lois started, "because you know how much I miss my little cousin?"
"Maybe," he answered wistfully.
Actually, he knew exactly why he was doing this. After much deliberation, he had realized that he loved Lois too much to keep his double identity from her. A month ago, he had therefore shared his whole life with her. He had told her everything. Absolutely everything.
As opposed to what he had been expecting though, she had not reacted positively. She had seemed to be overwhelmed with his reveal and had started distancing herself from him. Sure, she wasn't making it obvious. But he knew her well enough to know that she was starting to second guess their relationship.
And he didn't want that.
This was where Chloe came in. He knew how much Chloe meant to Lois. Surely, getting the little cousin's approval would make Lois realise that he was just the man for her.
"Your cousin's just arrived. I'll try to go easy on her, you know how I hate reporters…"
"Ollie!" she replied in mock outrage. "I resent that!"
"You're the exception, Lo," he replied truthfully. Who would have thought that Star City's most acclaimed reporter would have captured his heart?
He saw an air attendant approach him and asked Lois to excuse him for a few seconds.
"Miss Sullivan has just boarded the plane. We will therefore be taking off in a few minutes, Mr. Queen. Please fasten your seatbelt. She asked for you to join her at the bar in about fifteen minutes…"
He nodded and she excused herself.
"Did you hear this Lo? Your cousin is waiting for me at the plane bar. Do you think she'll try to get me drunk to get answers out of me?" he asked her, as he put the phone back against his ear.
"Who would ever do this?" Lois asked, a hint of humour in her voice.
"You?" he replied, with a chuckle. "First meeting in Star City. You got me drunk and then, next thing I know, my whole life on that island gets to be on the front page of the Gazette…"
"Don't worry, Ollie. Her methods are subtler than mine," she laughed, then continued more seriously, "Just try to avoid the green subject, if you know what I mean. I'm not sure how she'd feel to know that her cousin is dating… a vigilante."
Unconsciously, his hand clenched around the phone. Was it really what the Green Arrow was to her? Why couldn't she see that all he was trying to do was to help his city?
He inhaled and tried to remind himself that he needed to be patient. After all, he loved her and his secret was a heavy one to keep. She was trying. He needed to give her more time to adjust.
"I'll try to be careful," he replied, no sign in his voice, of the frustration he had been feeling.
"Thank you."
They both said nothing after that, and the silence was only broken when Oliver felt the plane moving off the ground.
"The plane's taking off, Lo. I better hang up. See you in a few hours."
"Okay…"
"Lois?"
"Yes, Ollie?"
"I love you."
"I miss you too."
He ended the call and tried to ignore the pain in his chest. Never returning his words didn't mean that she didn't love him. She just needed more time.
He leaned back in his seat and with a sigh, he closed his eyes when suddenly he heard an alarm resounding inside of the plane. His pilot's voice followed almost instantly.
"Mr. Queen, we're c-currently having some technical issues with the -"
He didn't even have the time to react. All he heard was a loud boom before everything turned to black.
SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Clark Kent was playing with the rim of his glasses, trying his best to get his mind off Chloe Sullivan and to instead focus on what Perry had to say about his article on the Green Arrow. It hadn't taken very long to write in spite of his lack of focus. There hadn't been much to write about anyway, just speculation about why he was in Metropolis.
"Very good, Kent," Perry finally ended up saying.
He looked at the older man, and smiled.
"Thanks."
Despite being a reporter for quite some time now, it always made him a little nervous to get his work assessed by the great Perry White. He got up his seat and was about to leave Perry's office when the door suddenly flew open.
"What is it?" Perry asked gruffly.
"Pull all the stories off the front page. Oliver Queen's plane just exploded. We absolutely have to cover this," announced Cat Grant, another DP reporter, quite excitedly.
Generally, Perry White would have shared her excitement. This was great news. Morbid, but great news. Instead, he slumped back into his chair, and brought his hands to his face.
"Any casualties?" he asked, as if afraid to know the answer.
Cat Grant looked at Clark, then at Perry again. She seemed to know that she was missing something. Both of them had suddenly paled and looked afraid as if they had just lost someone.
"We haven't heard anything yet."
That was all Clark needed. He stepped out of the room and supersped to QI's private airport, hoping he wasn't too late to save her.
OK, so I finally got to write the first chapter :D This has been so hard for me to write because I don't like romantic!Chlark at all even though I love their friendship. It was like cheating on Chlollie lol Anyway, thank you for reading. Reviews are really appreciated. So in the next chapter: Clois reunion, Chlollie meeting and introduction of the awesomenst BAMF ever, Lex Luthor! Woot! (Please excuse the mistakes... I have no beta reader. But if you're interested in beta-ing this fic, I'd love you forever.)